Debt Number 3 : For those who feel they are drowning and want a way out

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then
SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.

Hello, I'm joining because I have started to feel really down about my financial situation and would like to get my debt in order so I can realistically think about going part time at work.

I have taken TalkinPeace's advice about setting up a Standing Order for credit cards rather than the minimum payment Direct Debit and have set one up for now but will do the others.

I just wanted to ask first if anyone has had problems with late payment fees because of this? I am aware statements come out on different dates so payment dates may vary. I've set it up for the first of the month so my wages are definitely in, the Direct Debit is normally around the 3rd.

Ijustwore
So long as your standing order is dated BEFORE the due date they cannot touch you.
Also, when the statement comes in, check it and if needs be amend the standing order forwards by a day.
YOU are in control of your money now.

If it really is tight, set up half of it each fortnight, then the buggers can NEVER charge you.

marking place again .

Hello mojito and trench, welcome to the threads.
Good news mum re the extra money. Are you feeling better?
No real news here but solicitor waiting for one more thing before applying for probate. I did the tax return so have saved a bit on costs. Weirdly, my list of things to buy/do which I had decided was half debt half shopping is less exciting and I think I will probably do all debt and no shopping! This thread really makes me change habits I think.

I've listed my first four things on EBay. Bit nervous. I've never sold on EBay before and I'm sure I will have done something hideously wrong and end up paying more than I earn in fees and postage
I am copying The Frugal Wife and trying to make a little money in £20 blocks. I will be really happy if I can make £100 over the summer. £29.08 so far!

Evening All and a special hello to the newbies!

Good luck with the ebay selling Pixie - Ive always been too nervous to try it too. I have lots of baby stuff and my little ones are always growing out of clothes, but I tend to give it all away to charity. This is partly because I am so crazy busy too. Speaking of which ...

Exam marking - Oh. My. God. NEVER again - I just have to admit that I have reached my limit. Full time teaching job at high pressure grammar - tick. Two small children - tick. Exam marking on top of all that - big red cross. I'm not really coping. The house is a mess, I have had hardly any time with my children ... I have managed to bake a train cake for my DD's second birthday in the morning but will have to get up early to clean and sort the house for her party tomorrow. I think I'm going to have to send some of my allocation back ...

So as well as money I've decided that I really need to look at my life to see how I can make it more simple. I just feel a mess of stress and busyness and it has been like this since I started the new job in September. I know it will get easier as DD gets older - and I'm a bit more settled in the job now. I'm just sick of life feeling like utter chaos.

In other news - I switched my OD to a 0% card. I was looking at the upcoming charges from Barclay's and feeling rather put out when I realised that the transfer fee to a cc would only equal one month's charges. I feel more in control this way and I am setting up a standing order to the card for £200 a month which means I can see exactly when it will be cleared - which is 11 months exactly! I'm going to use the little exam money I get to pay down one of the CCs too.

I'm with you on the chaos Golden - it is relentless when you teach full time and have a family. My house needs knocking down and starting all over again!! It is constantly a tip. I then spend a week at every longer holiday trying to get on top of it before it starts again. You're right about marking - I do nothing but work and mark for the 6 week exam period. It is soul destroying.

I think working in the way that we do costs us more - I certainly spend more getting a quick fix from the supermarket when I am too busy to shop. Like today. And yesterday. And the day before...

Yes to quick fixes. I'd love to cook from scratch more, bake more etc. I really enjoy cooking - I find it really relaxing. But I'm so tired when I get home from work - I have an hour commute home which is one of the reasons we want to move. My DD has been sleeping so badly lately too.

I'm just hoping to recover over the summer and hopefully cope better next year. I used to work part time and life felt so much more balanced and peaceful x

I teach and after Easter increased my hours from 3 days to 5 to cover a colleagues post operative recovery. I am on my knees with tiredness. I've taken on an upper primary role so the marking has increased and we have had several events that have meant I've had to be in school Saturdays and Sundays and occasionally till after 9 at night. My house is chaos and my head is about to explode. I take my hat off to anyone who does this all the time- at least for me it ends next week!

We live for summer, us teachers! If Mr Gove tries and makes us work a 45 week year, there will be a mass exodus or people throwing themselves out of classroom windows!!

At least up here in Scotland we don't have Mr Gove!

Haven't posted for a while but have been lurking. Our money situation is going okay at the moment although I've felt really low in mood and sorely tempted to blow the budget. As others have said, it just all feels so relentless at times. I know it will all be worth it in the end.

golden if you can cope long enough to get the extra marking money it will really help. We've paid off huge amounts of debt this year and I know a lot of it is because I've been doing extra hours at work. It has made my life more chaotic and may have led to me feeling so low now but its not long term and has been well worth it in financial terms.

Haven't posted for a while - it's been a hard month due to dh not receiving a full pay as started new job halfway through the month. We are struggling on, but I'm still spending far too much on top up shops It's the old story of needing one thing, like some milk or bread and ending up buying other things that we do need, but maybe not desperately. I know I have to get to grips with this, but it's so easy on my lunchbreak to nip into the supermarket quickly and it kills time, when there's nothing else to do. I've tried leaving my cards at home, but then got caught out in the supermarket when I needed something for dinner - really needed it - and didn't have my card with me. I've tried withdrawing cash, but kept running out! I need to decide which works best for me..

Morning Debtors! Top up shops are absolutely my downfall too Kazza. I have to be absolutely strict with myself or I end up spending a fiver every time I need a pint of milk.

At least it's not just me pixie. I'm so annoyed at myself. I've just added up how much I've spent over the last two weeks and it's way too much. I have the best intentions, but sadly no willpower.

Pixie, do you withdraw cash or use your card for food shopping?

Kazza
NO CASH FOR SHOPPING.
Always use a card as then you cannot 'lose the receipt' and pretend you did not spend it on that.
Have a shopping list on your fridge. (I use an old calculaotor roll on a holder my son made for me as a pressie)
Write down what you have run out of / actually need for a menu plan.
Take the piece of paper and tick of the items as you buy them and then LEAVE.
THe only extras that ar eallowed are reduce stuff that has long life or can go in the freezer.

Pixie
Good luck on ebay. If you go to the seller form you will find reference to my name as I started posting and selling on there 13 years ago.

Golden
exam marking is great if part time, but yes if you are full time its too much.
You need to declutter your head a bit

Thanks TiP . I have a blackboard in the kitchen to write on when we run out of stuff and always take a list with me.

Golden - call the exam board, they often prefer to extend your time rather than send it back and an extra week might just make it manageable. Somehow I managed mine 4 days before the deadline this year but I was lucky that i could start marking over half term this year.

I have another online paper to do and I am putting it off due to the nice weather - I'm ahead on that but I can see overall progress on the system and it is clear many other examiners are way, way behind so you are not alone.

Kazza you should undoubtedly follow Tips advice but I actually use cash. I'm far less likely to overspend if I have the change from a £20 note in my hand rather than a card receipt. I write everything down that I spend and add up my different categories, so no shirking from the amount I spend on junk. Once the physical money is gone then that is it. Or that's the way it's supposed to work anyway I find that when/if the cash is gone and I have to switch to the credit card my spending snowballs far more. Not handing over "money" makes it less real somehow.

It doesn't seem to make a difference whether I use cash or card, I've tried both tbh. I just have no willpower

I do write down everything I spend, but had a few hectic days this month where I didn't remember.

Well we've gone waay over budget this month. Despite extra payments. Combination of things. Good news is that it can be covered by emergency fund and reduction from £500 to £200 next month.

Dh smashed his phone. Further up thread I'd said he was looking at all options etc but today it actually broke.

It sets us back by a month but we got a good reduction due to the manager buggering up the order and it taking ages.

To most people a new phone isn't an emergency but In this house it was a necessary purchase.

Sets us back by a month but still all looking good.

Expensive car to be sold shortly

good news is that it can be covered by emergency fund and reduction from £500 to £200 on one credit card next month

Two days til payday....