Debt Number 3 : For those who feel they are drowning and want a way out

[TalkinPeace]

This thread follows on from Nerf's incredibly useful
FIRST www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1969188-Can-we-have-a-support-thread-for-people-who-are-massively-in-debt
and then
SECOND
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/2011878-Debt-support-thread-2?
threads about realising you are in and supporting each other out of debt.

I am not in debt, any more.
Here is a link to some spreadsheets that might help
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1987219-SPREADSHEETS-for-Debt-Control-Budgeting-Mortgages-etc

and lots of people use this
YouNeedABudget

The important thing to remember is

• yesterday is as past as the Crimean War

( we will not judge how you got into debt, but we will support you on the way out )

• this is an anonymous forum

( we will not tell your employer, family or friends of the reality of your numbers )

• this thread is about supporting people through the huge mindset changes needed to come out of debt

( feel free to offload all of the feelings that drive you to want to spend, that make it hard to save and that generally make life crap at times )

Join in, bare your soul and come out the other end.
Its worth it.
You are worth it.

It's because my died dad when I was young (mid teens) and granddad stepped up and took on his role. Weddings, graduation, etc.
that's why it's really hard, because he was more than my granddad. And the last link - granny, aunt, everyone that side died except my mum.

Anyway, enough maudlin thread hijacking. You have all been lovely and I will leave you to your extra marking, repayments, progress until I am back on track. In all senses.

Just had a letter from cpp £218 cheque enclosed. Thats helped with the work situation!

10 days til payday. Can't wait to see those numbers move again!

My back thing seems to have settled again but I am walking on eggshells in case it flares up again before my scan on 27th (they're looking for kidney stones and gall stones, then I have to have a transvaginal (!!!!!!) ultrasound later on for potential ovarian cysts.
It's just a case of ruling stuff out at this stage. Symptoms were - crippling mid back pain,abdo pain and bloating, cramps - all so bad I could barely walk and the only way I felt I could bear it was was curled in a ball/ lying forwards with my legs tucked under me. I literally couldn't even lie down to sleep.

It's happened twice in the past 2 weeks, lasting for 2-3 days each time. Any armchair drs want to take a guess??

Hi miss a, in no way meant to be patronising (and I am not a doctor), but are you drinking loads of water?

No, why? Could this be dehydration?? if so!!!

I have no idea - but it worked for me. Not that any of the specialists I saw over the years would ever admit it. Water and holding your tummy in all the time you remember to do it. Put it this way: it cannot do any harm!

puffer were you having similar symptoms? I did wonder if it could be dehydration as I got the first attack after exercising in the hot sun a few weeks ago, but Dr poo-pooed it and said muscle spasms, then when attack came back this weekend said kidney/gall baldder/ovarian stuff

Apart from the cramps and bloating yes. The not being able to sleep was the worst. I had all the exams too, did lots of exercises which didn't help and were boring, massages, alternative gunk... At some point I started taking a 2L bottle of water to work and sipped it all the time and it just all went. Have all the tests - but drink water too!

puffer thanks so much for the info - I agree, not being able to sleep/lie down is literally torture. I am drinking water as I type. Feeling much better today... this is why I love MN.

Good luck miss a! 'Twas a timely reminder to myself to drink more too... And hold tummy in (for core strength).

To get back into the debt theme I have found all the best things in life are free: music, laughter, fresh air... We are lucky. This debt stuff is a blip/ life lesson/ makes us stronger people.

I'm doing ok. Really watching the pennies, doing meal plans etc and staying within budget (except the legal fees Urgh). Cannot post numbers yet as it would freak me out (and hopefully over soon). I lurk a lot and it helps hugely. Step by step, building that staircase.

Ah,pay day on Tuesday...can't wait! Not that I'll have any more money or anything...but I hate not having anything to update on spreadsheet lol been a good month...envelopes and emergency fund intact and no additional debt acquired. Good budget has balanced with some money left come Sunday to put over to repaying OD.

Share sale letter confirms I'll receive proceeds during June which should enable me to repay OD in full. I'll then be splitting debt repayment money between CC2 and loan. Spreadsheet currently forecasting me being able to knock 12 months off the term!

Hi all. Budget blowing weekend here.

Think I've been too strict with the budget actually. It's not completely realistic. Was trying to pay off too much in a short timeframe.

The budget busting stuff was household items so not real luxury but not life or death. I think £800pcm towards debt repayments should actually be adjusted to £600. It's all 0% anyway

I over estimated my repayments initially too...wouldn't beat yourself up about it...600pm is still an amazing figure,so well done you!!

lookrightnow
I agree that £600 is excellent.
THe real point is that you now have a handle on your true living expenses, are paying off your debts and setting in place the "live within your means" habits that will set you and your family up to be prosperous in the coming years.

Fed up that debt repaying is sooooo slow. My house is so grim and needs such a lot of work. It's really getting me down again at the moment. I don't even have time to try and do a bit on a budget - am flat out with work.

lookrightnow I did the exact same thing - tried £700 off my credit card in one month, ended up in the kakky. Now I put a smaller amount off debt on payday (maybe £400-500), and try to save as much as possible in every single budget envelope across the month, and only put all of that off the debt on the following payday. It means I can achieve a higher figure but I'm not in danger of running out of cash for petrol or food, and I usually do have something extra to put off the debt every month even if it's only £60.

kinky me too! I have disgusting old stained lino in the kitchen and bathroom which I would love love LOVE to replace. But I just can't justify it.
And I'd love to paint our kitchen chairs, tile the windowsill so it's waterproof and not all peeling and gross, buy nice garden furniture to sit outside on...

I'd love nice garden furniture and a patio to put in on just so I could sit out and mark my books in the sunshine. Ah, dreams.

You need to stop thinking about "new" ladies.

Kinky / Missannersley:
Garden furniture go to your local household waste recycling centre : chairs are £1 and tables are £5 - yup they have a scratch or two, but hey! are solid and will last you a couple of summers
tiles freecycle or the dump OR talk to your local independent tile place and see what deals they will do on end of line ... freecycle for leftover adhesive
paint ditto : and ALWAYS check in the discount corner of B&Q ... you'll be amazed

and for "big things" / "white goods" - look at graded stock.
Pull up the profile picture of my kitchen :
I got £175 off the Neff double oven, because of dents in the sides
I got £50 off the extractor because of a dent in the top
I got £75 off the Neff induction hob because of a dent in the bottom
which added up to the Siemens dish washer which has a dent in one side
It's about working out which bits of the expenditure have value.

But just for once it would be nice to have something you have chosen yourself rather than something that someone else has rejected or discarded!

£38 to last til Friday here. It's going to be tight!

I've managed to decorate my bedroom on a budget...2 tins paint from sis,gloss and brushes from Dad,didn't emulsion ceiling as looks ok,recovered chair with old curtains...but I am investing in a new carpet

Well done mum2fergus! That's fab, hope it looks great.

Feeling it to pixiestix, it would be fantastic to just go out and pick a new telly or washing machine and not have to worry about paying for it!

What's become increasingly clear to me is that if we are ever going to be comfortable, we have to learn to survive on my partners wage. My wage needs to funnelled in to savings for holidays and Xmas and mortgage overpayments. I have had this thing in my mind that we will be SO much better off when the debt is paid off, but in reality I don't think we will be :( we will however be able to have a yearly holiday!!!

I'm not sure if that's actually quite depressing news - that we have far less disposable income than I ever though we did :(

Well done Mum. I would like to do some decorating, but I need be able to pay a plasterer as my walls are held together by the rather hideous wallpaper and as soon as that comes off, it is going to be a disaster!

I know puffy. Who knows though, salaries might increase, jobs might change. At least without the debt you will be in a much better position.

A yearly holiday will be such a treat though Puffy. And the weight off your shoulders will be immense.