Emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels part 4 xxxxx

[littlebellsmum]

Less sadness, more joy but always lots of lovely people who understand

Thank you all for being here. I am now getting more used to the idea of the inevitable now. HCG from 1024 to 842 over 2 days. It is slowly reducing, not at normal rate, just frustrates me further. I have to have another blood test on monday. In the meantime I have major headache and feel sick, and very low generally. I am not sure how much of what I am feeling is directly to do with the miscarriage (felt sick with previous miscarriages when I did not know they were happening), and how much is depression. I feel so low at the moment. It is good that I have children to look after or I would be in bed all day. Sorry this is very me post, but I am not in a good place right now.

Thought I would update, hcg now 660, so still going down painfully slowly.

I have been offered blood tests for dh and I to see if there is any reason for the last 3 m/c's. Have any of you done this? Is it worth it?

cupcakefairy, rubylove, everyone, how are you?

Hey guys...was feeling alright for past couple of weeks, work was stressing me out and I think that maybe I went back too soon (only had a week off) but this week seems to have been a bit better.

Today though I feel as if I've had a setback, have been feeling a bit hormonal and a bit rubbish and been feeling exhausted for about a week like how I was when I was pg (also been going to the toilet every half an hour or so) so I was more than glad to finish work today. Anyways, dp picks me up and we're in the car and Im on my way home when I get a call from the Midwife asking why I missed my appointment with them today...I just wanted to cry and have been feeling shit ever since. So I had to explain to her that I had an mc and that both the GP and hospital were aware. She was really apologetic (which makes me feel uncomfortable, does anyone else get that?)and that was that.

Last friday I also got a letter from the NHS Appointments Department saying that their records show that a referral was made by my GP to book in with the hospital and that I have not made an appointment, so I then had to ring my GP Surgery and explain to the Receptionist that I had an MC which is already on my records and therefore dont need to book in with the hospital.

Im just getting really tired of the NHS and their insensitive incompetence! I understand that errors can be made but for fuck sake this is the third time I've had to epxlain that I AM NOT PREGNANT ANYMORE!!! The fast-track service also rung me about 2 weeks ago to ask if a midwife had called me to book an appointment, which makes it even worse as the appointment with the midwife should never had been made.

What hurt me more was that if I was still pregnant (would have been about 10 wks), I now know that I would have had my 1st midwife appointment today .

I know this is overly obvious, but I just really want to be pregnant again. Feel shitty so Im off to have a cry and go to bed.

Hope everyone is better than me today...RL1 Xx

Ruby, I know exactly how you are feeling, I had to ring and cancel my first midwife and scan appointment today. The receptionist at first assumed it was because I was chosing to go private, so it was hard to say I have had a miscarriage. I would be 10 weeks now too, but I am trying not to think about it too much. Hope that having a good cry helps and that you get some tlc at home.

Today however is the first day that I have not felt pregnant (at last), so I guess my levels have dropped significantly over the last day or so. I will be testing at the weekend to check that I get a negative test. In some ways getting a negative test will be more of a relief than anything, as I need to know that I will be able to start ttc again soon.

Im not sure if this is normal or what to think of this, but yesterday I had a bit of brown spotting, as you would when you are about to start your period, but nothing happened...AF never made an appearance and today I have had nothing at all as well. Had a few period type pains for like a minute each time here and there but nothing really.

It will be 4 weeks since my MC on sunday/monday and I know that AF takes a while to come back but is it normal to have brown spotting then absolutely nothing?

What do you guys think?

Can I join you guys?
Just found out today my baby stopped growing at 8 weeks ( I should have been 10)I'd had brown spotting at 6 weeks and has a scan but there was a heartbeat then, spotting stopped and I thought it was ok. However spotting started again yesterday and got worse today so went back to EPU to find that it was all over.
Am feeling really numb at the moment and a bit disbelieving of it all, am having medical managment, have had first pill today and have to go back on monday for the 2nd. I feel like I am stuck in limbo at the moment as not much is happening.
This has capped off a pretty crap couple of months, my lovely nan passed away suddenly in april, my other nan had a stroke around the same time( she's on the mend now thankfully) all the stress made my dad quite ill (he has heart problems after a heart attack 2 years ago)and now this.
Sorry for spewing this all out but it feels better to have it all out rather than festering inside. Thanks for letting me ramble

So sorry to hear your news undertheduvet. I haven't really got anything to say, just wanted you to know that there are people out here to hear you. Look after yourself and get all your tears out. I can't offer much consolation at the moment, and no one can make things better, but you will start to feel better with time. I hope you have got someone to give you lots of hugs.

HI Undertheduvet - so sorry for both your loss and your crap few months. Sounds like you are doing really well to already be in medical management. My mc was in Feb and on occasions feels like yesterday.
Take loads of time for yourself, eat lots of chocolate and spend time with your dp.
Don't worry about ramvling here - this is what it's for. You are doing really well to be on here at all - there will be good days and really rubbish days but it will get better and the empty. numb feelings do go imho

Undertheduvet so sorry to hear your news. It all takes time. The numbness is normal and is possibly preferable until the physical side of it is over. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time. A M/C is, in my opinion, one of the worst things to experience and everyone deals with it differently. Just go with your feelings. Take care.

ruby It took 7 weeks after my
MM/C (12 weeks) to have a period and another 7 weeks after that for my next one. I think anything and everything is normal after a M/C. Just give your body time. (God, I know it's hard)

LBM HOpe you're doing ok. Miss our chats.

i know i'm on a mc thread but i cant remember where it is, so i'm verry sorry if its not this one!

i'm so fed up and i want to cry. i started poas about 1 week after my mc which i was getting faint + i kept taking them they were getting stronger and stronger then there was nothing, no line for about 3 days, so i thought well in 2 weeks time my af will come (as was always the case pre mc) but theres nothing, almost 4 weeks on no af we had unprotected sex a couple of times so i've taken pregnancy tests, but nothing!

i just want my af to come so life can get back to normal, i want to start trying properly again but how can i if my af wont come

ChoChoSan, littlebellsmum , neeko Thanks for your kind words.
Sorry not been back here before now, havent really had the chance to get back online.
I ended up miscarrying naturally on sunday, so the first tablet must have helped it along. I didnt have much pain apart from a few cramps, so for that I am thankfull. Went back to EPU on monday were they scanned to confirm it was all over, so no need for any more intervention.
I have a DS who is 3.7 but he was staying with my parents for a few days so me and DH could just be with each other.
We have both been sad, weepy and tired but luckily have been able to talk to each other and work through it together. He has been a total rock for me over the last week and it has really made me appreciate how lucky I am to have such a wonderful husband.
Today is his first day back at work so I hope he is coping ok. His boss and wife have been through this so at least he will be understanding and know that DH has lsot a baby too not just me. He is having some problems dealing with my parents in that they dont seem to be acknowledging his loss too, just always asking about me. I think that at some point I will have to broach this with them, as I dont need to deal with any bad feeling between people on top of all this
I am going to take my DS to one of his groups this afternoon, so hopefully I'll be ok. My friend will be there so will have some support, she has been a star as well, having tragically gone through this herself twice.
Physically I feel ok, a bit tired but nothing else, Emotionally Im not sure how I am, I suppose that taking it one day at a time is the best plan, today I feel OK so Im going to focus on that.

Thanks for letting me ramble on again, letting things out like this is a good vent. I've been on mumsnet since 2006 but have mainly lurked, only posting occasionally but only now I am realising how helpful it can be.

Hello everyone. I'm new to mumset, so please fogive me for just jumping in on your thread.
undertheduvet - I feel exactly the same as you. I too had a m/c at the weekend and we are completely gutted. I had no problem with DS who is 6, but since then conceiving has been a living nightmare! I've had 6 failed attempts at Clomid and when I finally gave up any hope (other than IVF) I got caught in 07 only to have a mmc at 10 weeks. We decided to give up completely and low and behold I got caught again in April 09! This is the one that I lost at the weekend. I feel so sad and empty. At 35, difficulty conceiving, 2 m/c behind me I really don't think I will ever have my much longed for 2nd baby.
I'm seeing my GP on Monday to beg for a referral to investigate why, but I'm not hopeful as I believe the norm is 3 m/c.
Sorry for rambling everyone, but I just feel like you all understand.

undertheduvet - do you work? If so how soon are you planning to return? I get the impression that people think that once the physical side of the m/c has happened I should be back. I really don't feel ready or strong enough emotionally yet.

Ackyboo

So sorry that you are going through this as well, it really sucks doesnt it. Im a SAHM so I dont have to think about going back to work. I do a bit of admin stuff for DH's business but nothing that requires any hard work. You should take as much time as you need before you return, as you say its not even been a week yet, we need time to sort our heads out.Do you have a sympathetic GP? Hopefully they will give you as much time as you need with a sicknote.

I just had a lovely chat with my friend and she helped me see that all the things I thought at the time were perfectly normal, things like hoping they had got it wrong She said just take each day one at a time, we will find it hard but will get through it. Hope that doesnt soung glib, I know some of the things people say are well meaning but come across a bit crass, it is hard to get what you want to say out without it sounding like a cliche.

Can't believe it's been a month since this thread was active

Just wanted people to know that a few of the Emmsys Onwards & Upwards girls still keep their eye on this thread so if anybody needs a hand to hold or anything, give us a shout

I still keep an eye on it as well. x

Sorry, I've not read all the threads, so I'm being selfish and just posting about me.
I did write here end of Jan after a MC and had fantstic suport. I was lucky enough to conceive again but am now in the beginning of another MC at 8 weeks

Yesterday I had blood when I wiped, went to Dr this morning and have a scan booked Monday. Meanwhile cramps have set in and a few clots etc. Feeling so gutted, second MC in 6 months. I am 45 so guess I'm lucky to have conceived anyway. I think this is it now. Anyone had a similar experience, at my age, and gone on to have a baby, or should i just stop. My partner wants to stop trying as he doesn't want me to go through this pain anymore.

I am so lucky to have my 9 year old daughter anyway. Should I just stop this now and get on with things?

just cleaning away the cobwebs, ah thats better, loads of cake crumbs and empty packets of mini eggs behind the sofa tut tut

mumofAdela honey this place is a great place to be selfish in honey.
So sorry you are back here, I think I remember you back in January too.
You have a horrid weekend ahead of you, why is it always weekends? Thinking of you.

In our hearts I think we know the answer to that question 'is it time to stop' but I am not brave enough to say it out loud even in a whisper cos then I will make it reality.

Only we can know how lucky we are to have our dc, it does not take away the loss of our los. I am trying really hard to enjoy what I am so blessed to have and not linger too long in the bad lands of the last 4 years.
Wishing you strength through the next days and weeks.x

I've noticed it has been quiet in here too, I hope you are all ok.
mumofadela selfishness is a right of passage on here, we have all been there, and I am so so sorry it is happening again to you. When I suffered my 2nd mc I just couldn't believe my bad luck.

To all you other ladies that have been on here, when you feel ready there is an 'emmsys onwards and upwards' thread on the conception board. We all started off on here, so come join us whenever you feel ready.

hi, just wandering through to catch up, I sort of feel the need...
lo's due date was last week, I got through it by going to an interview and getting a new job I just think I want to make everything change and start a new chapter of my life iyswim.
Hugs to all of you who are in a rubbish place at the moment, and wishing you lots of luck with whatever you want to do next.

It's still so quiet here! Giggle - great to hear from you and your coping strategies. My LO was due on Tuesday and my coping strategy is being out of the country with work. We might have to do something this weekend as I feel the need to mark it in someway.
MummyofAdela - so sorry to hear that you are back again. Having said that, you did well to concieve again so quickly - if you can convince your partner, 3rd time lucky?
I'm just about to hit 40 and no sign of another pregnancy so this may be it for us but then two dc's keep me busy enough!!