Emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels part 4 xxxxx

[littlebellsmum]

Less sadness, more joy but always lots of lovely people who understand

rainbow I'm not sure how soon you can get a negative test as I didn't take one until 4 weeks after my mc (which was negative)
I would say it could be a couple of week sbefore ti stops being positive as those hormones stay in your body a long time! Hopefully someone else who regularly took pg tests after their mc might be able to give you a more definite answer.

Of course you can have chocolate though banana is my personal favourite so I'll make one of those

Hi rainbowdays sorry to hear what you're going through. I had a mmc at 12 weeks and it took about 2 and 1/2 weeks to get a negative test result. Hpe you are being kind to yourself at this awful time.

Thank you for your replies cupcake and neeko, my tests are not getting any fainter yet, but it is only 4 days since the bleeding started, so it is clearly going to take a while for me. I have stopped passing clots, but still spotting.

Anyway cupcake, I spent last night baking, so here is one huge banana cake, and one massive chocolate cake for us all to share... I did bake a ginger cake too, but it flopped!!!!

Yum thanks I was just starting to think about lunch but cake sounds like a much better option!

Rainbow I had an ERPC for a MMC in February at 11 weeks, my test went negative 2 and a half weeks later. Can I share your cake???

Cakes all round, baking is my coping mechanism, so more today.

My hpt was lighter today, so I can finally start to accept that I have m/c'd and move on, I am not looking forward to going to the scan on Tuesday, but I guess at least it will check that everything has gone. I am hurting but just glad to finally know, if that makes sence?

It completely makes sense. I found that my mmc wasn't really "real" to me until I got af afterwards. I still kept thinking to myself that perhaps the doctor had made a mistake.

Rainbow Thanks for the cake, baking is a good coping mechanism - yummy! Rainbow it makes perfect sense, going for a scan is supposed to be a happy time for the majority, its horrible when you know its not going to be happy news. I went with studying a lumpy bit in the ceiling during the scan and just pretending not to be there. Is someone going with you? If nothing else to tell you whatever the doctors/nurses said when you'd switched off and couldn't listen. Big hug, we're here if you want a chat.

Of course it makes sense. It is in a sense a relief to know for sure...I went 3 weeks not knowing if baby would be ok until they finally told me poor LO had died.. and then the day I had my medical management in the hospital, the overwhelming feeling after passing the sac was relief. It sounds horrible, but it wasn't like that...I just knew we could start to pick up the pieces and try to move on after that...
Hope the next few days are ok for you, and keep those cakes coming!!

ARRGGGGG - why do my stretch marks have to reappear today..... I never had so much bloating before with my previous m/c's. As if I am not feeling rotten enough, not that it makes a jot of difference, but I had tried to convince myself that the bloating was going away, now I know differently. Or perhaps it is just the extra cakes I am eating here . Anyhow, thought today nice warm scones with fresh homemade jam would be nice, so help yourself they are there on the table for you.... please come and get fat with me!

Yummy I love scones!

Is it water retention or your digestion playing up?

Water retention and too much to eat!!!! Oh well, these scones are going down a treat, will just add to the fat until Tuesday, then I will have no more excuses.

Scones are good for your morale!

hi im sorry for all of your losses i am going through same thing right now and its driving me crazy...im also 20 and went for a supposed to be 7-8 wk scan but when i went all i could see was a round empty sack but the lady who did it didnt say anything just that it was too early to tell if it has a heart beat or not there was no bean or yolk or heartbeat, im sooo confused because my friends that were pregnant were calling there babys little jellybeans or whatever but i have nothing to call mine as there is nothing to see, the lady who did the scan was really quiet and really gave me no information at all, i had to look it up on the internet because i knew something was not right...im sooo worried and confused and waiting for this next 2 wks is going to drive me crazyyy, i know i have to be 7-8 wks but i dont know.....the sack was clearly empty tho, any advice or answers i dont really have anyone to talk to as i am single and going thru this alone and i feel as tho the doctors and ultrasound people arnt taking me seriously im freaking out, if there is nothing there why couldnt the lady have warned me or sumthing instead of me reading bout it on the internet,i just wanna know so i can get on with my life

my last period was the start of april so that wuld make me 8 wks wuldnt it....going by what the doctors dated me i shuld be 8.5 wks and i went for scan on 2 june wich showed me empty sac

Kaytee I'm sorry you are having such a bad time. I don't understand why the staff couldn't explain to you what was going on. Are you sure of your conception date? That would also help to date the pregnancy are long and short cycles would vary when you ovulated.

For what reason did you have an early scan? Were you having pain or bleeding? When is your next scan going to be?

thanx gracie girl so much, i went for an early scan because my friend is supposed to be pretty much exactly the same dates as me and she had an early scan and saw the baby at 8 wks i guess i was really excited and went for one too and mine just looks nothing like hers or any of the other 7-8 wk scans i found on the net, i noticed about 3 wks ago i had a tiny tiny bit of spotting and ive had some cramps, like lower back pain and it kinda feels a bit like period pain in my lower abdomen, my next scan is on the 24th of june apperently i shuld be 12 wks then, im soo nervous, im thinking about going earlier, i just wanna know theres a baby there,not sounding harsh or anything ive read soo many stories on the internet and im pretty worried because it seems to be rare that there are any miracles coming out of having an empty sac. unless the doctors do have my dates wrong but shuldnt you still be able to see the bean and the yolk at 5-6 wks, because my sac is clearly and fully empty no growth at all

Kaytee you really need to get someone professional to talk you through what was found on your scan. Checking yourself on the internet is only going to worry you more. Surely if they thought you were miscarrying they would offer another scan a week later to compare the two, not make you wait 4 weeks. You'll go mad! With a scan at 5-6 weeks it can be much more difficult to give you the answers you need.

So sorry for what you're going through kaytee but I agree with Gracie - I drove myself mad looking up what scans should look like when I had mine at 6 and 7 weeks too. You should get an appointment with your GP and they can then refer you for another scan at your EPU instead of waiting for 12 weeks; you will drive yourself mad before then!
Feel free to chat to us here though; we all know what you're going through!

I just wanna say how great you guys on MN really are...you do not know how much your words are helping. I have been looking around on the site for about a week now and have not been sure what to write but I feel the need to share something...

I had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago and was about 7 weeks pregnant at the time. My fiance and I were over the moon, and just like that it is all gone. I didnt really have any pain (no more than a heavy period) but just bled for about a week. Two weeks on from miscarrying, I have no trace of even being pregnant, no pain, no bleeding, nothing, as if it never happened. Sometimes I feel like I dont really have the right to be upset as I only knew about the baby for two weeks before I lost it, but I really really wanted the baby and Im gutted that this has happened.

All I keep thinking about is that I would have been 9 wks this week and that I should be pregnant right now but Im not and just feel empty and inadequate that I could not carry my baby full term for whatever reason. Is this healthy?

It did not take very long for me to get pregnant in the first place(my dp and I started tryin in Feb) and after this now I really wanna start trying again even though the thought of losing another baby petrifies me. I think I have been coping with it quite well and have been quite upbeat but in the last two or three days while I have been back at work (I had one week off sick) the feeling of need to be pregnant is constantly on my mind and I cannot really think about anything else.

Even though I am quite young, for a few years now (Im 24) all I have ever wanted is to be a Mother and my fiance has always wanted to be a father also, I cannot help feeling, for want of a better phrase that its "just my luck" or lack of that the only thing I've ever wanted in life didn't happen. As this was my 1st m/c I am hoping (and praying) that things wont always be this way, but as Im sure you can relate this is one of the worst things to go through if all you want is a child. So far my experience of pregancy hasnt been the best one and I get mad at myself for feeling sorry for myself but the need for me to be a Mum I dont think will ever go away until I hold a baby in my arms.

Sorry if Im rambling on, it all made sense in my head, lol!!

My heart goes out to each and every one of you that have been through this, cos it is so S**t!

Ruby...are you me??
I am also 24 and have wanted to be a Mummy more than anything else since I was about 6! I lost my baby in early April. I should have been 19 weeks now (believe me, thinking 'I would have been x weeks' is very normal probably until your due date!)
I too have those moments of 'was it my fault?' and 'why couldn't my stupid body carry my baby?' I think we have all thought like that at some point since miscarrying.

Give yourself time. For the first few weeks after my mc I was constantly on the verge of tears and thought that would never go away. It does. I still feel sad for my lost angel, of course, but it gets easier. Sounds weird but getting your first period after mc is a bit of a milestone; you know your body is getting back to normal. Talk to your fiance, cry, eat chocolate, watch Friends...do whatever your body is telling you you need to do. My DH and I are trying again now and w have real hope for the future. I really hope you get your baby soon.

Really glad MN has helped you; I know I would be a wreck without having had everyone here to chat to. So so sorry for your loss; it really is a crap thing to go through. Take care xxx

Thanx for getting back to me cupcake very much appreciated.

I feel like 95% per cent of the time Im generally okay, its just that sneaky 5% that catches up with me when Im not expecting it, havent cried much only when it was happening and the next day when my best friend sent some beautiful white lillies to my house, which was lovely but it set me off a little bit.

The only worry I have now is that my sisters twins are due to be Christened mid July. I absoultely adore the twinnies and I have no issue being around babies etc but I am absolutely DREADING when people come up to me (and I know they will) and say "oooh so when are you two gonna start having kids?" or "when's it your turn?" because I really dont know what I am going to say, kinda inappropriate to tell everyone I mc'd when at a Christening really. Im not overly teary about the mc but I hope I dont fall apart if I do get asked.

I am looking forward to the Christening as my sister had trouble conceiving the twins (after 3rd attempt of IVF, bless her) so I am more than happy for her and I dont want to be miserable but deep down I know that my fiance and I ask ourselves those questions almost everyday.

Spoke to dp about it and he doesnt know how to approach it either...I was really looking forward to going back home and seeing everyone again for the lovely celebration (I moved away to live with dp) but now its putting a downer on it a bit

Anyone got any advice???

RL1 Xx

People are so annoying always asking when you're going to pop one out aren't they...I get that all the time too. One friend asked me just a week after the mc (he hadn't known I was pg) I just changed the subject cos I was so taken aback..

But I would advise just saying something like 'we'll let you know!' or 'hopefully someday' and then start talking about your sister's babies again, or something else, so they don't push it with you.

To be honest I have always found it rude for people to ask me and dh when we will have kids (unless they are v close friends) but since the mc it has annoyed me even more, because people have no idea whether we have been trying, or have miscarried already etc. It has definitely made me more aware not to ever ask personal questions about it to other people.

Hope you have a lovely time at the christening anyway. My little goddaughter was christened recently and it was such a lovely day, if tinged with a tiny bit of sadness for me as I should have been telling everyone I was pg..

Just a quick update: I am no further forward with knowing what is going on. Apparently I have not miscarried YET, but still threatened or 'certain' according to the foolhardy doctor who says the pregnancy sac has shrunk (what do they know about anything!). So in limbo for a while longer. Bleeding stopped and cramps normal pregnancy level. So who knows what is going on, I certainly don't.

cupcake Thanks, Im in the same boat re: the Christening, would have had my 12 wk scan by the time of the Christening and to make it worse my due date was the day after the twins 1st Birthday but I'll tackle that hurdle nearer that the time...

rainbowdays I have fingers crossed on both hands for you, there's nothing worse than waiting for news is there?

Lots of Love...RL1 Xx