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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels part 4 xxxxx

770 replies

littlebellsmum · 13/03/2009 20:44

Less sadness, more joy but always lots of lovely people who understand

OP posts:
cupcakefairy · 06/05/2009 10:14

Hello
Amyboo I was told to wait until after 'my next bleed' to ttc aswell but I have heard from loads of people on here that they only say that so they can date your next pregnancy more easily. It seems to be fine to get pregnant straight after a mc without af (I'm sure plenty of people on this board could tell you stories)
However, we decided we would wait for my first af anyway. This is just because personally I feel my womb has undergone trauma and I felt it might be too much to get pg again straight away. This sin't for any medical reason; just a personal feeling I have that I wanted to let it 'settle' a bit.
You will soon be able to talk about it without crying, honest. It took me about 2 weeks.
Good luck with ringing the doctor.

iggypiggy · 06/05/2009 14:11

Amyboo think I cross posted with you earlier, so only just seen your post.

I am waiting until after first AF too, which is what the doctor told us to do - for similar reasons to cupcake - basically I feel like I need to give my body a little break - and I need to know that everything is working again as normal.. Also am not actually mentally read yet...

LovelyPear · 06/05/2009 15:22

hi everyone. amyboo I'm so sorry you were having a rotten day and didn't get a response. It's only a few days since your ERPC so it's natural to feel like very low. Poor you, I hope you're feeling a little better now.

I haven't been on mn for a few days as I've been busy preparing for our holiday - we're going to sw france for 2 weeks on Sat, and it's the first time away with DS, so I'm trying not to panic and pack everything including the kitchen sink! It's very good timing, and I'm hoping it will do all of us the world of good.

AF arrived yesterday, so it has brought everything back into my mind, but I suppose it's good to know my body is carrying on as normal. amyboo, I was told I could fall pg again straight away, but as cupcake says I think they recommend you wait for AF for dating purposes. Personally, I'm not in a rush to ttc just yet, and want to take a break from thinking about it all. I suppose that's why I haven't been on here much lately.

Hope everyone else is ok. xxx

cupcakefairy · 06/05/2009 15:36

Hi LovelyPear really hope you enjoy your holiday! We went away to Devon just after the mc and it really does help to get away from everything. Will be thinking of you.
Whereabouts in France are you going? We're going to SW France in a few weeks, just north of Toulouse. Really hoping for lots of sunshine!
Glad af has arrived for you anyway and like you say, things can start getting back to some kind of 'normal'

LovelyPear · 06/05/2009 15:55

Hello cupcake! Thank you, we're really looking forward to it, although the forecast is not great!

How funny, we're going to be about 1 hr north of Toulouse in a village called Brassac (near Moissac). Never been to that part of France before so hoping to do some exploring! have you been there before? where will you be staying? We'll have to swap tips! xx

amyboo · 06/05/2009 16:33

How funny indeed - my family live just south of Toulouse! It's a lovely part of the world - I absolutely looooovvvveee going to see my parents down there! You'll both have fab holidays! (and the red wine is superb! - great Corbières, Minervois, Côtes de Languedoc - in fact most of the vins de pays d'Oc are wonderful!)

I'm definitely waiting one cycle before ttc again. Like Lovelypear Iggypiggy and cupcake I think I need to give my body a break. I've been busily collecting recommendations for a new gynae today though. I'm definitely going to change to someone with a warmer bedside manner. I feel kinda guilty about changing, but I guess that's the Brit in me thinking I have to continue with the person I've been allocated...

cupofteaplease · 06/05/2009 18:37

Hi all, how are you doing?

I was doing okay, but I went back to my placement school today and there is a woman here who is pregnant. She was going on and on about being pregnant- being really precious about it actually.

Then she said her sister was going for her first scan today. She said, 'I've warned her how shocked she will be to see the baby jumping around so much in there!' My mentor asked me, 'were you shocked when you had your scan?' (meaning with the 2 children she knows I have)

I was so stunned for a moment I said nothing. I haven't told anyone in the school about my mc, so they weren't to know, but I felt like saying, 'the last scan I had, 2 weeks ago, showed my baby dead in the bottom of the sac- so no, I was not shocked to see it jumping around. Nor do I want to hear you going on and on aboout how awful it is to be pregnant. How about you thank your lucky stars and shut the hell up!' But as this was the first time of meeting said lady, I kept my mouth shut!

Obviously feel quite low tonight now

becks130 · 06/05/2009 20:52

Hi All,

How strange I have family in that region of France as well (on DH side), It is lovely and I'm sure you'll have a great time.

Cupoftea I'm with you on the pregnant women front, I am usually such a nice person but I have to admit this MC has turned me in to a real sour and bitter person. I dropped my ds off a nursery yesterday and there was a women moaning about 'having' to go on maternity leave! I was so upset, i just thought how on earth can you moan about that when your going to have a beautiful baby in a few weeks.

I have decided to ttc again soon, I suffer from PCOS so waiting for AF could be a VERY long wait and as it took so long to conceive this time I thought I may as well make the most of being at a fertile peak.

amyboo · 07/05/2009 08:03

cupoftea that must have been awful for you. Poor you Thankfully I've not got any pregnant people near me, otherwise I think I'd have a similar reaction!

My doctor gave me the results of the analysis last night following my ERPC last week. Apparently there was nothing of note, which I guess it good, as it means it was just random chance - no actual medical reasons... Bleeding has randomly returned today though, which I'm not happy about.

iggypiggy · 07/05/2009 10:34

cupoftea poor you - the PG woman in my office really brought me back down - but am actually ok this week - so guess was just the shock and the reminder again of what I've lost. I hope you feel a bit better soon xx

Amyboo sorry you bleeding again - that's rubbish xx

Becks hope is not too long a wait for you.

lovelypear glad AF arrived for you and hope you enjoy your holiday!

cupcake how are you?

xxx for everyone

cupcakefairy · 07/05/2009 10:39

That's so funny everyone seems connected to SW France! LovelyPear we're staying in Milhars which is pretty much just down the road from where you're staying! (Well, a little bit to the east of Moissac) No I've never been before either, only been in the northern parts of France which is so different so really excited We're staying in a little gite. Amyboo thanks for the wine tips! My DH will be very pleased to hear all that...

Now, aside from holiday stuff...amy don't go feeling guilty at all about changing gynae. I'm going to change GP after this whole experience as not a fan of mine at all. Plus the worst thing about being in hospital for my medical management was the coldness of some of the staff - you need to deal with someone you are totally comfortable with.

Cupoftea how horrible for you! I'm so sorry some people are sooo insensitive it really bugs me. I guess this is one tiny good thing about going through mc - we all know to be sensitive about pregnancy etc.

becks it's a totally different situation for you with the PCOS so of course you shouldn't wait for af before trying... good luck with it all got my fingers crossed for you x

cupcakefairy · 07/05/2009 10:40

Sorry Iggy cross posted with you.. I'm good thanks still feeling quite positive this week cos I know we will be ttc again soon...
Really glad you're feeling better this week Is the girl in your office talking about her pg loads or not too bad?

iggypiggy · 07/05/2009 11:41

the girl in the office is ok actually - and I don't really mind her mentioning stuff about her PG at the mo. I think it was just such a shock last week, I was stupidly cross with her (and irrationally!) but now am fine again... the hormones make you a bit nuts don't they!

BionicEar · 07/05/2009 23:10

Hiya ladies,

Cupoftea - big hug - it is hard when you first come across peeps who are pg - you kinda want to be pleased for them but at same time feel so jealous etc.

Anyway ladies won't be about much this weekend as we away to wedding and catching up with rellies. Hopefully we'll have a good break away.

Hope you all do ok this weekend too.

cupcakefairy · 08/05/2009 10:04

Thanks BE hope you have a really lovely weekend. We're off to London for the weekend too so won't be around much either.
Iggy glad things are a little easier at work.
Hope everyone's doing ok today.

amyboo · 08/05/2009 10:22

Sorry if this is TMI, but had sex for the first time since ERPC yesterday, and it was a bit painful. Is this normal? I don't normally have any trouble, but last night there was definite pain particularly on one side...

Sounds like everyone's got nice weekends planned. I'll be painting the spare room/future baby's room. The builders were in 2 weeks ago to plaster etc - just after the whole MMC thing happened... Still, at least it'll keep me/DH busy for a few weeks and keep our minds off ttc, etc.

LovelyPear · 08/05/2009 15:12

Hi amyboo, I didn't have an ERPC, so not sure if that's normal but it might be worth asking your doc? what sort of pain was it? maybe see if it continues and then make a decision? Have fun with your painting this weekend!

Can't believe how many of us have a connection to sw france! I guess it's a very popular holiday destination. The forecast is rubbish so really hoping there are lots of lovely things to see and do (and we'll definitely be sampling the wine!).

Iggypiggy I'm really glad you're having a better week this week. I agree it's those little unexpected shocks which bring you back down the hardest. No less than 5 of my friends are pg and due around my EDD - I'm just trying to focus on the positive and feel happy for them. Hope you and cupoftea continue to keep your chins up at work .

Very best of luck and lots of sticky vibes to becks and others who are ttc now. See you all in 2 weeks! xxxx

becks130 · 09/05/2009 09:22

Morning,

amyboo I had an ERPC and sex wasn't uncomfortable or hurt so I would speak to your Dr. However I have notice a weird 'problem' I seem to have a weak bladder, I used to be able to hold it hours, now it's a matter of minutes, has anyone else experienced this??

I hope you all have a lovely weekend x

amyboo · 10/05/2009 07:34

lovelypear I definitely recommend checking our some of the old Cathar castles in SW France if the weather isn't great. Toulouse is also a pretty nice city. But, I wouldn't worry too much about the weather forecast - the weather can be quite changeable in that part of the world, so the forecast isn't always very accurate....

Thanks for the comments r.e painful sex. I'm changing gynae anyway, so I think I'll get an appointment now, and talk to them about it if it carries on....

cupcakefairy · 10/05/2009 11:10

Morning girls; amyboo sex was ok for me but I didn't have an ERPC so that's not very helpful sorry!
Becks yes I have noticed I'm going to the loo more too! Weird... might be just cos when I was pregnant I obsessively drank water and had to pee loads so my bladder might have got used to that!

ray81 · 10/05/2009 19:07

Hi guys,

Can i join you all.
I had a scan on thurs was meant to be 10 weeks and there was no heartbeat, baby died about 8+4. This is my 4th Mc in 5 yrs of ttc. i have DD who is 7.
Am feeling devastated as you can imagine.
We have had investigations and by all accounts they are all normal so they are saying this is just realy bad luck.
I have an ERPC booked for tues as my body is not doing this naturally at all, have had no bleeding at all and still feel very pg so just want to get it over and done with.
Am swinging from crying lots, being numb and forgeting for a few seconds and then crying again. Am finding it very hard to cope.

It will be nice to talk to people who understand how i feel.

Original poster
littlebellsmum · 10/05/2009 21:08

Hi Ray - sorry you have to join us. 4 mc in 5 years and it's just bad luck..... how horrible for you .
Hope you have round the consolation that chocolate can bring - well it worked for me

OP posts:
amyboo · 11/05/2009 07:56

Hi ray81. Sorry you're joining us. MMC are horrible - that's what I had. I found it very hard to come to terms with, as I had no symptoms at all. Hope it all goes OK for you tomorrow.

x

cupcakefairy · 11/05/2009 10:25

Hi Ray, so sorry you are joining us but you're v welcome.
I had a mmc at 8 weeks and it is devastating. Friends of ours have had 4 unexplained miscarriages at 12 weeks and I know that they are finding it incredibly hard to come to terms with and accept. I really do feel for you and think you're just so strong to have come this far. Be kind to yourself and you can talk to us here about anything

iggypiggy · 12/05/2009 10:34

ray81 so sorry you joing us, esp as I 'know' you the ttc thread I hope the ERPC goes ok today xx

I heard an awful (although I guess good in the end story) from a friend who said that someone she knows has had 17 mc's - but thankfully also has 2 DCs somewhere amongst the MCs. I'm not sure I could deal with that many