Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels part 4 xxxxx

770 replies

littlebellsmum · 13/03/2009 20:44

Less sadness, more joy but always lots of lovely people who understand

OP posts:
kate030284 · 18/03/2009 19:34

thanx bionic i hope you ok i feel ok today im trying to sort hen night so got a bit of distration . been walking my dog this afternoon with my friend it was great to get fresh air have felt a bit confinded to my house lol.

i think im going back to work tues im meeting with gracie and my manager to dicuss if im ready to return to work as diffucult working where we work

gigglewitch · 18/03/2009 20:57

hi all - hugs all round, still sad to see how many folk are here. But as LBM says, lots of lovely people who understand.
Sorry I haven't been in sooner, it has taken me a while to search for the thread.
Well I have survived most of three days at work (yeah big wow I know after 5 weeks off) and I am absolutely knackered but at least my brain's working and I'm back in bossy mode. I've taken WFH and holiday days to get til monday off, and same next week. I'm looking forward (not) to yet another scan on friday, still got bleeding on and off, still anaemic, pah... they reckon if everything isn't "sorted" by then it will be surgery. oh what joy.
Wishing for Jacanne's bean to stick, and B.E. I'm glad to hear of the therapeutic gardening. Actually you have inspired me to do some, sounds nice
All the rest of you - hang in there, keep posting. am sending you good vibes. scorpio, btw, have posted on your other thread.

Original poster
littlebellsmum · 18/03/2009 21:13

Good to see you are back at work giggle -fingers crossed that you won't need surgery
Hope you sort a great hen night Kate - at least you'll be able to drink now!

OP posts:
gigglewitch · 18/03/2009 21:15

lbm, how are you today? you are such a thoughtful one

GracieGirl · 18/03/2009 22:57

Giggle well done for surviving work, I had 4 weeks off, so 5 isn't so bad.

Bionic you still sound like you're better at gardening than me!

Kate - we'll look after you!! Do you think we can get it written in your return to work plan that you need regular breaks during a shift to check Mumsnet! and to eat Mini eggs!

kate030284 · 19/03/2009 08:11

hi all
im up far to early and its annoying me lol its must be im addicted to mumnet

that sounds like a good plan gracie lol

kate030284 · 19/03/2009 08:11

hi all
im up far to early and its annoying me lol its must be im addicted to mumnet

that sounds like a good plan gracie lol

GracieGirl · 19/03/2009 18:32

Its all very quiet on here today .........

kate030284 · 19/03/2009 18:37

i no its only me and u

Original poster
littlebellsmum · 19/03/2009 19:49

Bet everyones gone again now! I think we might all be enjoying the sun.
I really need to get back to slimming world and stop eating cake - otherwise people will think I'm pregnant when I'm quite obviously not. Anyone got any motivation pills?!

OP posts:
GracieGirl · 19/03/2009 20:02

I'm afraid not. Got plenty of mini eggs and no will power!

BlueMoon1981 · 19/03/2009 22:44

Hello everyone, i found your posts by accident but have found them really inspiring and just wanted to say hello to people in the same boat and who understand the heartache.

I miscarried the first week in February, it was my 1st ever pregnancy and i was so excited, i was at most only 6-7 weeks but i guess that doesnt matter, the pain still hurts the same however far along. We had been trying for nearly a year so it seemed so cruel to take away our chance. We are TTC again now, but i feel like i can never get over what happened, i am so sad all the time and can't get it out of mind. Is it normal to still be so upset? Will i ever feel like i can go back to my normal life, and will i one day stop crying myself to sleep?

I'm so jealous when i see people with newborns or pregnant women with their big fat bellies, i get a lump in my throat and i just want to go to bed and stay there forever. I hate having to pretend i am ok to everyone when i want to tell them all to leave me alone.

Anyone friendly words of wisdom welcome.

Sorry to hear of all your losses, our little angels are playing together up in heaven somewhere.

Love and hugs to you all xxxxxxxxxx

GracieGirl · 20/03/2009 06:39

BlueMoon - welcome to our thread, you are in the right place. Most of our stories are back on Emmsys part 3 or 2. I too found out my baby had died at 10 weeks on 2 Feb and had my operation on 10th Feb so it was around the same time. I've been back at work for just over 2 weeks. Yes I too feel jealous at pregnant women everywhere, so many people I know have announced they are pregnant in the last month. You won't ever forget your baby.

Stay with us we'll look after you, I'm at work all day but everyone else will be along soon!

kate030284 · 20/03/2009 08:13

hi buttonmoon

im so sorry for your loss . but welcome to our thread it really does help i promise talking on here.
i found i mc earlier this month had ERPC just over a week ago .it was the most heart breaking thing ive ever gone through. i had also been trying for over a year and u do feel why me .

i 2 get jelous looking at people with babies and pregnant ladies . they are out to haunt us lol

hope u all are feeling ok big hugs to all xxx

anniecam38 · 20/03/2009 09:06

Morning everyone, and sad welcomes to bluemoon
Sorry to hear of yor loss, my most recent mc was end January(was 12 weeks but measuring 9 weeks, had 2 early losses in 2004 before i had my DS). Everything you say you feel is entirely normal, the envy at pregnant women/newborns, the crying yourself to sleep, the all consuming sadness. Give yourself time to grieve, take as much time off work as you need, ignore any STUPID comments from well meaning friends/work colleagues/relatives-everyone on here has experienced these
Life WILL get back to normal, it mighnt seem it at the minute but it will, it gets quite hard around the date your LO would have been due, but then that passes.
Eat plenty of chocolate-that is a tried and tested remedy among us ladies on here (smile)

anniecam38 · 20/03/2009 09:07

(smile)-BAH!! i meant .

4everhopeful · 20/03/2009 12:03

Hi ladies... I'm back from holiday and feeling a bit post hol blues, 7 weeks today since erpc. Just spoke with one of closest friends who is PG - she had her 12 week scan day we come home and was all blase 'yea its fine' talking about due dates in sept which is 3 weeks after our lo was due. I should be nearly 16 weeks now. Very hard to talk to her... Was more positive before hol that we would just keep trying no matter what and each time made us stronger. We might of made no 5 on hol but the positivity and hope is hard to hang onto. For the first time I considered what if it just wont ever happen for us? We so want a family and adoption feels like failure but I think if we get to 7 mc we might just have to consider it. That would mean going through another 3 MC. Our holiday was fantastic but took a few days to truly relax & just made me think what a hell of a year its been, and compare to our honeymoon when we were so full of hope and dreams..

Sorry all me me me, nice to see you started thread 4, and Scorpio MLS GG Giggle and the rest of you girls are getting stronger.. I'm the only original one left it seems cos I'm in groundhog day going through this over and over again. Havent seen mermaid? Is she on 'onwards & upwards'? Not looked yet? How many more PGs may there be I wonder? Sorry oh woe me... xxx

BlueMoon1981 · 20/03/2009 19:43

Thanks so much to everyone for responding - it really is comforting to know i'm not being over sensitive about things, and you wouldn't believe how good it is to talk with people who can empathise with your loss in the way no one else can unless they've been through it. Anniecam you are so right about stupid comments, i know people mean well, but i'd rather they said nothing than say something stupid or pretend they understand.

Even reading all your comments brings tears to my eyes, its so hard that the babies we so badly want aren't with us yet. After writing on here last night, i went to bed and cried, i really feel like i'm stuck in a hole with no way of getting out. I find the feeling of emptiness really hard to bear, and i worry all the time that i've had my chance and i will never be able to get pregnant again.

I am hoping that being on here will help, you seem a lovely friendly bunch so thank you for your warm welcomes.

But cuz its the weekend! Wine and chocolate here we come.....

Hugs to all xxxxxxxxx

Original poster
littlebellsmum · 20/03/2009 20:18

Yah booh sucks - met some one I vaguely new in the park today, her and her bump that is. Now, personally, pregnant women haven't bothered me. However her due date of September did as that was my LO's due date - first time I've been confronted with someone who is due when I would have been and it really wasn't nice. Not nice at all.
Luckily, I don't see her often but I can garuntee now that it will be all the time as she lives quite close.

And we've run out of gin. This is not a good night.

Hope everyone else is a little happier - welcome blue moon and sorry for your loss.
4ever - great to see you back. I think Mermaid moved on?
I can only sympathise over your mc's - having even one has made me think twice about trying again. However there are so many success stories on here to give you hope? Glad you had a good holiday and brought the sun back with you!

OP posts:
happyjules · 21/03/2009 02:24

I have just come across this site and as I still cant sleep it's now gone 2 am it's comforting for find people in a similar situation who are being honest with each other as it can be difficult to talk to people you see as it's not always that easy to judge how much empathy they really have.

I have just had my second miscarriage (on the sixth aniversary of the first). What I am finding really hard that alhough I have two daughters already I am finding my self feeling guilty for being upset because of that because people are telling me that I should count my blessings. Yes I do but I still wanted this baby just as much as I did the others.

GracieGirl · 21/03/2009 06:43

HappyJules welcome to our thread. Of course you wanted this baby and the one before as much as the others, people really don't think before they open their mouth do they! (if you can find the Emmsys part 3 thread I posted a letter about the things people say / do - probably on the last page before the thread got full - I found it on the internet and thought it about covered how I feel). Myself and Kate on this thread (who I know in real life) have spent many an afternoon competing on which friend/relatve has said the stupidest "helpful" comment that day!

Got to rush or I'll be late for work!!

BlueMoon1981 · 21/03/2009 16:10

Hi Happyjules - welcome, i'm new here too but have found reading these posts really helpful. Its just nice to know that others know similar pain and can really feel for you, even though it is so sad that we are all in the same boat.

I don't have any children yet, i had my 1st mc on 4th Feb this year. I'm sure it makes no difference whether you have already have children or not, you lost a child and it still hurts the same and you still need time to grieve for that child.

Had a bad night last night, think being part of this has opened me up again, so i can only guess i didnt fully allow myself to grieve when it happened. I went back to work after 3 days just to keep myself busy, i think about it all the time, but i always fight back the tears until the bedtime. But last night was too much i sobbed for ages onto my partner, i think i surprised him cuz he thought i was ok now.

And today i've been sad too, realising its Mothers day on Sunday, and its not my turn yet

Hope everyone is trying to keep their spirits up

Original poster
littlebellsmum · 21/03/2009 19:49

Hi HappyJules - welcome to our cave - sorry you have to join us but nice that you are here. I also have two children but that doesn't mean I didn't want the one I lost any less.
Bluemoon - lets aim for next Mothers day for you. You are supposed to be more fertile after a mc and so, once you are feeling strong enough to try again, it might be in time for the next one iyswim!
How are you doing GracieGirl?

Much better day today for me - impressive as I did spend most of it at an NCT sale surrounded by bumps, babies and baby clothes.

OP posts:
GracieGirl · 21/03/2009 19:50

BlueMoon I know what you mean about Mothers day - I should be 16.5 weeks pregnant, not childless and not pregnant anymore.

BlueMoon1981 · 21/03/2009 20:07

I've been meaning to ask - does anyone have these weird spasms in their stomach since having their mc? I had some during and very shortly after which doctor said was normal and was the body re-adjusting. But the last few days it has come back (i had mc on 4th Feb), sometimes its quite violent and bf can feel it if he rests his hand on my stomach. Is this normal? I feel like i'm going backwards, and nature is playing a cruel trick on me