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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels part 4 xxxxx

770 replies

littlebellsmum · 13/03/2009 20:44

Less sadness, more joy but always lots of lovely people who understand

OP posts:
iggypiggy · 12/05/2009 10:35

Hope everyone else is ok? How are you all feeling?

I am quite good this week - but I think AF should come sometime from around the weekend onwards, so am expecting another dip when the hormones kick in for that.

amyboo · 12/05/2009 12:44

Hi iggypiggy. I'm also doing fairly well this week. Things seem to be more back to normal, although I'm still getting light spotting, which is really irritating me. Still, lots going on at work and at home with lots of decorating, so I'm keeping busy and just willing the weeks to pass so we can start ttc again.

Will you start ttc again after af?

iggypiggy · 12/05/2009 14:10

Amyboo I guess so... although haven't properly discussed with DH - guess we both need to agree before can go ahead.

Spotting must be very annyoying - hope it stops soon for you xx

cupcakefairy · 12/05/2009 14:31

Hi all. Ray wishing you all the best for your time in hospital today. I hope you have the support you need.

Glad you're both sounding chirpier Iggy and Amy and yes, Iggy that is horrible about the 17 mcs I can't imagine that at all.
Good luck with the waiting for af too...I'm on day 41 now and the waiting is driving me mad! I know she is coming very soon though, have all my usual signs...

iggypiggy · 13/05/2009 10:26

Hope AF arrive soon cupcake

When are you counting from? The day teh bleeding stopped? Cos for me that is only 23 days... but is 30 days from when MC happened.. guess AF not for a while for me...

iggypiggy · 13/05/2009 10:27

Ray81 how are you? xx

cupcakefairy · 13/05/2009 10:37

AF arrived today very pleased body is getting back to some sense of normality.

I was counting from day of the actual miscarriage Iggy. Day 1 in cycle is always start of af so counted this cycle from first day of bleeding too... as the bleeding lasted 2 weeks rather than my af's usual one week, my cycle was about a week longer than usual so nothing too weird

Hope yours comes soon, the waiting is so horrible!

iggypiggy · 13/05/2009 11:04

Am hoping will be sometime after this weekend.. which sounds about the right time? Glad yours came - great news!

amyboo · 13/05/2009 13:05

Great news about af cupcake. Must be great to get a bit of normality back. I'm now 14 days since my ERPC - still bleeding It's really annoying me. I'm thinking of going to the gynae again if it doesn't stop by the weekend.

Hope af arrives for you iggypiggy. Can't believe I have at least another 2 weeks to wait. Quite aside from the annoyance of having to use contraception again, I really want to start ttc again

iggypiggy · 13/05/2009 13:10

amyboo Using contraception has been so odd after having not used it for what seems like a long time!

Sorry you still bleeding hope it stops soon - guess it just varies from person to person x

hoops997 · 13/05/2009 18:24

Hope it's ok if I join you all, I had a mmc today, baby died at 6.5 weeks and I am supposed to be 8 weeks, am booked in for ERPC tomorrow......am a bit nervous about it, have to be at hospital for 7 30 tomorrow morning......

amyboo · 13/05/2009 19:02

Really sorry you're joining us hooops997. Try not to be too nervous about the ERPC - it's really not too bad. I just found mine to be very emotional and I cried lots. Hope it goes OK for you. Sending you lots of virtual hugs. x

hoops997 · 13/05/2009 19:07

Thanks amyboo, I keep thinking that they have made a mistake at the scan place but then I remember the little kidney bean just floating in space with no heartbeat, took about 3 hours to sink in, been crying ever since esp when someone asks me if I'm ok

iggypiggy · 14/05/2009 09:16

Hi hoops997 sorry you are joining us. The crying really took me by surprise - and it seemed like it would never end. It does get better - but I still have up days and down days - and still cry sometimes - for me it has be a month now since the MC.

Look after yourself, cry and talk to us on here xx

amyboo · 14/05/2009 09:25

I kept thinking they'd made a mistake too. I think that's the hardest thing with a mmc. Because you don't have any symptoms as such, it's really hard to come to terms with. I didn't really come to terms with it until a few days after the ERPC.

cupcakefairy · 14/05/2009 09:33

Thinking of you today hoops.
I agree mmc is so cruel as you still feel pregnant and your body still thinks you are.. hope you will be able to come back and talk to us here

ray81 · 14/05/2009 11:41

Hey guys,

The erpc went ok, as well as can be expected.
Hoops Good luck for today we all know what your going through and are here whenever you need to tal.

Feeling ok at the moment off out to lunch with my best friend in a minute as its her 0th today and then out to luch with my other best friend tomorrow so keeping busy. Feel alittle down, i cried alot last week when it all happened but havent since then, am wondering if that is normal ? perhaps i am in denial??

There is a song that i realy like and reminds me to be strong it goes.........

I can almost see it that dream i'm dreaming but theres a voice inside my head saying you'll never reach it. Every step i'm taking every move i make feels lost with no direction, my faith is shaken, but i gotta keep trying, gotta keep my head held high.
Theres always gona be another mountain, i'm always gona wana make it move, always gona be an uphill battle, sometimes i'm gona have to lose. aint about how fast i get there aint whats waiting on the other side, its the climb.
Those struggles i'm facing, the chances i'm taking, sometimes might knock me down but i'm not breaking, i may not know it but these are the moments i will remember most just gotta keep going, i gotta be strong just gotta keep pushing on........ Keep moving, keep climbing, gotta have faith.

I dont know if anyone else feels the same about songs but sometimes it feels that they are written just for me.

cupcakefairy · 14/05/2009 12:26

Glad you got through it ok Ray and no I don't think you're in denial at all; there is no 'normal' for how much you should cry or whatever. Just feel what your body tells you to feel. Glad you're seing friends; after my mc my best friend stayed with me in our flat while my dh was at work and it really helped me to not think about everything too much and wallow.

I totally feel that way about songs too and love to listen to lyrics properly. I really like that Miley Cyrus song it's beautiful and it's true you do have to just keep going, it's all you can do

loobyboo · 14/05/2009 13:32

i didn't know whether to join this thread or not last week found out that i had a mmc after a scan went due to funny discharge i should have been 9wks +4 but was told by the scan person that it had not grown pass 6wks which would have been when we did the test and found out properly.

It was a shock to discover we were expecting again (have 2 DD's 6&4)and got our heads round that and then to have this funny discharge on may bank holiday & the next day i knew then something was not right as my last 2 i had nothing like that, i'm not a very positive person so i thought the worst and this was confirmed at the scan.

we decided to see if my body would do it naturally and if not was booked in for a ERPC, i didn't know what to expect with any of it. my body has gone the natural route and it wasn't as scary as i thought it would be, horriable, painful yes, but coping with it at present and just waiting for it to finished.

I never thought in a millions years that this would happen to me as i had 2 good pregnancy before. ( even after last year finding out i had a blood clotting disorder Factor V leiden) not an issue the doc said after the mmc as i have been pregnant before.

sorry its long just wanted to say it to someone else other them my lovely DH who has been wonderful.

hoops997 · 14/05/2009 14:03

Hello everyone.....ERPC went really well today and actually feel alot better than I did yesterday....thanks for the support everyone and I'm glad Ray that your procedure went ok, are you having a little service or have you not decided yet?

I'm with you virtually and sending you lots right noe xxx

iggypiggy · 14/05/2009 15:15

Ray81 I was like that - ok for a bit after a couple of days crying. I just found that it did come back a couple of times - but each time, less bad than the first.

hoops Glad it was ok today and that you feeling better. Sometimes tohe witing for it to happen is almost worse.. xx

Loobyboo so sorry that you are joining us. I had my MC naturally too (on Drs advice) - I have to say I only had one really bad day - the rest was ok. And once the bleeding stopped I felt alot better (emotionally as well as physically). I know what you mean about wanting to say it to someone - that's exactly how i felt. This place has been really good for me xx

DesperateEm · 15/05/2009 19:42

I had a MMC in February, and have found out this morning that I have had my second in 3 months. Last time I bled a lot up to the point the scan said that the heartbeat had stopped... and then NOTHING for 12 days, and then 3 weeks of bleeding, and considerable pain. I opted for the natural way of miscarrying, and I said "never again". This time I have asked for ERPC, but they have no appointments for 12 days. I don't know what to do. I feel like if I have to go through the same again as before, I might go slightly mad. I want this over with. Having read the comments on ERPC, I am now worried about having it and reconsidering whether I go through the awful alternative of waiting for my body to recognise I am no longer pregnant. I hate my body at the moment! I don't want to be off work any more - I was off 2 weeks last time.
What solutions do hospitals/ medical staff offer you for any 3rd/ later attempt for a baby? I can't face another pregnancy without knowing I might be able to reach full term.
Thanks.

Original poster
littlebellsmum · 15/05/2009 22:18

Hi Em - really sorry to hear your story - twice in three months must be hideous. I'm not sure what advice is given after two mc's but there are some lovely ladies on the Emmsys onwards and upwards chain who may be able to help?
I completly understand how you feel about hating your body etc - I had my first mc in Feb too and am scared about it happening again, should I get pregnant.

Sorry - little advice, lots of sympathy - take care, look after yourself and hopefully someone else is around who can help more

OP posts:
hoops997 · 15/05/2009 22:31

Hello Em, really sorry to read your post, I can't believe they have no appointments for 12 weeks that is shocking, the nurse/doctor that I saw was very kind when they said we have an appointment for the next day and asked me whether that was too soon, I wanted it out of me soonest, I don't think I would have been able to handle a 12 day wait......

My thoughts are with you, the ladies on this thread have really kept me going.........

One thing they did say that the chances of having a 2nd/3rd pregnancy that ends in miscarriage is not higher than normal, but I am quite worried about falling pg again because I would absolutely hate to go through this again......take care and look after yourself and remember you are not alone, sending you lots of hugs....x

evaangel2 · 15/05/2009 22:36

Can I join in?

Hi to everyone

I have had 2 miscarriage in 11 months, one last june and one 4 weeks ago, not sure whether to ttc again, it is heart breaking, both pregnancies ending at 8 weeks