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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels part 4 xxxxx

770 replies

littlebellsmum · 13/03/2009 20:44

Less sadness, more joy but always lots of lovely people who understand

OP posts:
gigglewitch · 25/03/2009 19:56

hi again all. As we all keep saying, I can identify with something in every single post on this page. lovin' the group hug and chocolate

well i made a prat of myself today, had arranged to see the director of HR, as the hr bod I normally work with is 17 wks pg, her dates are around a week away from mine so I just couldn't say a thing to her. felt that I needed to explain that I'll be off [again] for d&c etc, she totally understood, had had something similar herself, and basically I sat there and cried and ended up with a huge hug. Am mighty now though.

littlebellsmum · 25/03/2009 20:38

Giggle - you so did not make a prat of yourself - if she's been there herself she would have understood...

Kate - top girl, coping with work and all that

Everyone else - hello.

Got to go - we are lucky enough to be going away for the weekend with out the kids and I need to get the house tidy before my mum and dada arrive tomorrow. I know my mum will just clean it all again any way but I do have some pride!

OP posts:
MummyLovesSadie · 25/03/2009 20:53

The more we all write the more I feel normal!

GG did you keep getting positive opk's & feeling really good about it but at the back of your mind thinking that something was not right about it? I did & after loads of research on the internet I realised that they were false positives & I'd been wasting my time & my hope.

Giggle don't feel like you made a prat of yourself. I've personally found it easier the more people I've told but obviously some people are much easier to tell than others. It sounds like you have an understanding director of HR - its only when we start talking about it (sometimes to the most unexpected people) that we realise how many people have been through similar experiences.

gigglewitch · 25/03/2009 20:56

thanks, you two

Neeko · 25/03/2009 21:12

you lot definitely make me feel normal again. Will post tomorrow and let you know how work went. Stay way from the pg tests!

BionicEar · 25/03/2009 22:23

Hello ladies!

Sorry not been online to post recently - been busy bee!

Had my scan on Monday - took a good friend with me. Did feel a bit emotional about being back in same room for scan, but didn't cry whilst there so that was good. Was worried in case I did, and looked slightly loopy! Saw lovely consultant - my friend said she would have quite happily married him as he was so lovely! The cyst - he says is a blocked mucus gland - whatever that is?! But it shouldn't cause any problems so that ok. Consultant was lovely and very reassuring.

Had another appointment later that day for something different and the consultant there was just awful - one of the worst thoughtless insensitive doctors I have ever met - he kept banging on about my miscarriage and I left there and promptly burst into tears.

Went back to work on Tuesday - was quite nervous about going back but my team were really lovely and my boss kept checking I was ok - which is pretty good going for a man! Am up to my eyeballs in work though - yuck! But at least it will keep me busy.

Am having less days and more upbeat ones, so feel good about that. Only thing I do want is my period to happen and then I know it's ok to start the ball rolling again. But guess it's still early days yet.

Hope all you ladies are ok today - have been thinking of you all even though not on here over last couple of days.

Jules - that poem is beautiful - your friend was blessed with the wording for that and I intend to print it out to keep. Thanks for sharing it.

2ndDestiny · 25/03/2009 23:08

Nice to hear some of us are starting to feel normal again, that's encouraging... for me 'normal' seems to come and go... just when I allow myself to think I'm back to normal again I have another bad day... anyone else find that the road to recovery after mc is a very bumpy loopy one??

Wish I could join in with the trying to avoid the pg tests... I also stocked up on ebay a couple of weeks after the mc in anticipation of ttc again but 8 weeks on and nothing, no period, no signs of ov ... anyone else take that long? Sorry, will stop whingeing now

Am definitely joining in on the chocolate front though as Green&Blacks on offer in Tesco... like Neeko says, shd be eating healthily to get ready to ttc again but just can't get by without the chocolate at the mo...

Neeko · 26/03/2009 07:25

Ok guys, sorry if this is TMI but I'm really confused. Felt quite funny yesterday but thought it was because I'm going back to work (in 20mins!). Haven't bled since last Wed 18th and really didn't bleed much. Got up this morning and am bleeding like the beginning of AF. Can this be AF already or is it likely to be remnants of MC? Any ideas anyone?

Hope everyone's chocolate eating is going well. Beginning to think chocolate contains 'normal' hormones!

MummyLovesSadie · 26/03/2009 07:41

Neeko I had a three day bleed three weeks after mc which turned out to be a mini period.

Have also started spotting today, I think our bodies are just trying to a) get rid of anything that shouldn't be there, and b) get back to normal.

MummyLovesSadie · 26/03/2009 10:16

Feeling like I'm back in a black hole today. I don't want to be spotting. I want to be pregnant.

GracieGirl · 26/03/2009 12:02

MLS - I think I had a few goes with OPK whilst still had a BFP then someone on Mumsnet (possibly you) said they wouldn't work so I stopped. Also big hug, sorry you are still spotting.

Neeko how did work go? Not sure about your bleeding, could be AF or more MC bleeding. My post-miscarriage AF looked rather odd (sorry TMI), kind of very dark nearly black clots, which made me think it was more old MC blood, but then I ovulated 14 days later so I guess it was an AF. Try to think of the bleeding as your body getting ready for your next pregnancy.

Neeko and 2ndDestiny - Chocolate contains calcuim and sugar and fat - all necessary for building healthy babies!!! and keeping mummies sane!

2ndDestiny · 26/03/2009 12:30

MLS I don't want to give you false hope, but in some cases spotting can be implantation bleeding, usually if it's about 5 or 6 days before your AF is due. That's what happened to me last time I conceived anyway. Then again I've also had random on/of spotting since mc so it's impossible to tell but I wish for you that it's the former!

MummyLovesSadie · 26/03/2009 13:07

Hello, not feeling so gloomy now, freaking hormones.

GG I think we had that strange bleed at the same time didn't we? Neither of us could figure out what it was & I too ovulated a couple of weeks after that... we probably have the same cycle now.

2ndDestiny I did think about implantation bleeding but I'm probably just clutching at straws!! I had 5 days of spotting before I knew I was pregnant with the baby I mc so now I'm thinking if I am pregnant does that mean I'm going to mc again?

Queue yet more over-thinking!

kate030284 · 26/03/2009 13:26

. hi girls i was just wondering how long after ERPC that i might see my AF

2ndDestiny · 26/03/2009 14:54

MLS from what I've read, I think some women just sometimes bleed on implantation and implantation bleeding itself is harmless - having an implantation bleed doesn't actually increase your risk of mc but I won't tell you not to worry cos that won't stop any of us panicking about it will it! Once you've had a mc you can't go back to that innocence and joy of early pregnancy I guess, everything is shrouded in anxiety.

Kate wish I could answer your question, mine has gone awol but most other women seem to get theirs in 4-6 wks, I'm sure the other ladies on here can help

bessielabouche · 26/03/2009 15:15

hi everyone, i have been avidly reading all your messages but feel im gatecrashing a bit... i just had my 2nd mc 2 weeks ago. i was 17 wks gone it was very traumatic. i thought everything would be fine after 12 and got a good heartbeat just10 days before. i am still bleeding and still crampy pains but drinking raspberry leaf tea, really good for toning uterus and getting rid of anything that may give you an infection. my hormones are driving me nuts, happy sad happy sad ok miserable ok miserable... when will it end?

GracieGirl · 26/03/2009 16:34

Bessie - welcome - no such thing as gatecrashing! All welcome on this thread. 17 weeks sounds very traumatic, you must feel very cheated after getting past the "safe" 12 week mark. Stay here with us, we'll look after you.

Kate - I don't think AF can be predicted. I was on day 26 post ERPC, but unlike you I hadn't bled at all before my ERPC. Maybe expect it anytime around 4 weeks from first onset of bleeding. Which must be quite soon I guess.

Yes MLS we have the same cycle now I think. If you read the other thread, I'm on a mission not to do a pregnancy test before April.(I'm sooooo going to fail that mission, but I can try!)

Neeko · 26/03/2009 17:01

Hi Ladies.
Been missing you all today. stupid web-sense at work won't let me on to MN!
Bessielabouche welcome and sorry for your loss. I only gatecrashed a few days ago and everyone's been so kind. Nice to have people who understand.
MLS have fingers crossed for you. really hope it is implantation.
*GG8 you seem like my kind of person- can justify chocolate for everything!
Work was...survivable. Can't really say much more than that. Everyone was concerned and nice (I'm NEVER usualy off sick so most worked out something really wrong) and I'll manage to limp on until Easter hols - week tomorrow.
My best friend had her scan today 15mins after I was supposed to have mine. Sent me a pic of a big healthy looking 14 week old baby. Really pleased for her but so jealous. Will wait til her excitement dies down before telling her my news...
Bleeding has mostly stopped so can't be AF after all...

MummyLovesSadie · 26/03/2009 17:59

Oh Bessie I'm so sorry, 17 weeks is far too gone to lose your little angel. I can't imagine how awful it must have been. Please don't feel like you are gatecrashing, you are welcomed with many open arms.

I had a text this afternoon from a good friend who had her 13 week scan today & her baby is due 2 weeks later than mine was. I'm happy for her but feel so goddamn jealous.

I feel so so desperate to be pregnant. It's using up all of my brain space & I know it's not healthy but I can't help it.

GracieGirl · 26/03/2009 18:16

Neeko well done for surviving work. You must be a brilliant friend to be able to support your best friend through her pregnancy. I'm amazed you've managed not to tell her about yourself, but you are right, it wouldn't be fair before she had a healthy scan as it would give her more worry she doesn't need. Big pat on the back - I'm proud of you!!

MLS - we're jealous too!!!

Just off to a night shift, see you all in the morning.

bessielabouche · 26/03/2009 18:48

wow, thanks for all your kindness. i know what you mean about wanting to be pregnant. everyone thinks im completely bonkers, but it just seems to be the best way to work through this, i dont know...

Neeko · 26/03/2009 20:42

GG thanks for your nice comments. Don't feel a good friend just now - just envious and a bit lonely...
Think we're all desperate to be pregnant. That's why we're here supporting each other. Treated myself to a bumper order of pg and ovulation tests to congratulate myself on surviving work today (how sad) That lets me follow my quest for BFN before hanging around waitng for BFP!!!!

BlueMoon1981 · 26/03/2009 20:59

welcome bessie, you're safe with us, join the mad crowd!

having a bit of a low day today, but have a couple of days holiday from work so gonna chill out a bit.

hope everyone is ok ((((hugs)))

Neeko · 26/03/2009 21:03

Have lots of chocolate and try to relax for a few days. It's hard but will help.

BlueMoon1981 · 26/03/2009 21:08

thanks neeko i will, i think i need it, just to catch up on sleep more than anything, feel so exhausted. a bit of retail therapy and me time will work wonders i would think