Emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels part 3 xxxxx

[christmasBarbielovesSanta]

so here we are on part three, let this one be fun of happy news.....

Thanks VM you always say the right thing How are you getting on? Are you busy getting your next book sorted - it sounds like a great way to distract yourself till the scan.

Congrats Mermaidspurse - that's wonderful news.

I had a fab pyjama day yesterday and am now making up for it by being super productive today. I've done the shopping, planted the last bulbs in the garden and even went for a quick jog. Time to start on the chocolate I think before I become too smug

Big wave to everyone else. Hope you are all doing okay.

Sorry I totally missed your post Scamper - I'm such a slow typist. Welcome back, we've missed you on mumsnet

Hello scamper! Hope France was fantastic.

Curlywurlee, I think the 'getting some of me back' plan is really worthwhile; I could actually have done with a few more months off from ttc but age and time were against me! Once you're pg again you'll find that this becomes consuming in turn, so go for that me-time... Yes I'm trying to get on with book 2 but feeling a bit grim thanks to morning sickness and anxiety; being pg is certainly no picnic this time around - the mc completely took away my innocence about pregnancy. But that's the way it is - we just have to get through it.

mm, how are you doing? I think of you often.

Hello to anyone else who might be lurking or about to post!

Hello ladies,

Got to say Happy New Year!!!!!!! Sorry I have not had time to post the last few days but been busy in RL though managed to squeeze in a quick lurk here and there. Back to normal now so should be back on a bit more but I am never too far away.

Got too start off with a big congratulations to mermaidspurse good news to start off a good year for us all!!

vm how is my lovely chat buddy, hope the morning sickness is not too bad hun. Your scan is the day after my birthday so your good news will make my birthday extra special this year........in fact your scan date is slap, bang in the middle of my birthday and the birthday of a certain other lovely lady from this thread.

Speaking of which barbie hope you are on the road to recovery hun. Sounds like you have a busy time on your hands atm. Don't do too much now, and have a great time at the weekend.

vjay hope you are doing good and not stressing too much.

mollie hope you had a good time at new year, been thinking about you.

Big, big hello's to curlee, scamper, jools, ginger, lippy* and anyone else I haven't mentioned by name.

Happy New Year my lovely Emmsys angels! Massive congratulations to VM Mermaid and Vjay! Also sad thoughts with you Blue.. The rest of you your BFP time will soon be here!

On new years day my time came! I got that little pink line! The BFP! I'm 5 weeks tomorrow! I was due on the 30th but wanted to wait til it was a brand new year before testing! Trying to stay positive like Vm and specialist has advised cyclogest pessaries and aspirin despite no causes found. Just took my first aspirin and getting gp prescription for the cyclogest. See the specialist in a couple of weeks and have my first scan on the 16th! Praying & hoping that this little one is a sticky one too! Have posted on couple of other threads for advice on cyclogest - anyone?

Feel a bit bad telling you all as we havent told our mums yet, we're telling them tonight! You are al privileged but have been so great to me.. I just read through, saw good news and was desperate to share ours!
Any tips on staying positive also appreciated! xxxxx

mm I hope it will be good news... if it's not I'll wait a few days before coming on here and depressing everyone! I will be thinking of you and barbie this weekend. I am feeling sick at the mo and clutching at that as a good sign; had this sort of sickness with ds but not in my last pg which miscarried. I'm also feeling low and a bit overwhelmed right now to be honest... Good luck with being back at work! Do you have any more medical follow-ups between now and ttc again?

4ever, our posts crossed - CONGRATULATIONS!! That is such wonderful news! I am struggling to stay positive sometimes but I think the early scan will help, and I really hope yours brings you reassurance too. Don't know anything about cyclogest, but maybe someone else does? Massive congrats again!!

4ever great news, fingers and toes all crossed for you this time No idea I am afraid about cyclogest but sounds like you are getting some very good care, sending you lots of stick thoughts.

vm I hate to hear you are feeling low. Your emotions will be all over the place this week until you get your scan, I know I have said it before but just get through one day at a time it's the only way to cope..............well that and having a good rant always helps, I'm here!!!!!! I am due to get my blood results back round about mid Jan (maybe later due to the holidays), I've been trying not to think about it too much but find it starting to come back into my head now that Christmas and New Year is over. TBH I am not expecting anything to show up as I had some of the tests done after our 2nd mc but I guess we will wait and see. I think in any case we will wait till March before ttc again, the last year has been totally consumed with ttc and mc so the break has been good. Physically I think my body needed the break after 3 preg in 10 months.

blue I meant to add you at the bottom of my last post but really hope you are good if you are lurking, been thinking about you lots over the hols, take care hun xxx.

Hi - Happy New Year to anyone I've not "spoken" to for a while and congratulations to 4EverHopeful VM - your online family will want to share your news with you - good OR bad I've been thinking of both you and Vjay and lurked on knicker checkers from time to time to check on you both

CurlyWurlee - thanks for your sensible comments I'me still feeling blue - think I may actually be ovulating and should be happy, but am just so, so angry that we are wasting this egg and desperately worried that I won't be able to get DP to participate in active TTC next cycle either It is my last chance to have a baby before I hit 40 and a big psychological milestone for me.

I hope everyone else is well. I do still look out for you all but am a bit me-focussed and miserable at the mo, so am not posting too much ...

Thank you jools mm and vm! I've been off work til today so easy to hide in a bubble at home and detach myself a bit, I'm sure the anxiety will soon take over! I am thankful for great care - cant knock our nhs!vm it is bound to be a rollercoaster, & wont be entirely relaxed to our babas are in our arms gurgling at us! I'm sure that come Aug & Sept they will be! mm just like you hon, after 3 mc in 10 months I had a 6 month break and I realise now how much i needed it, not just physically but pyschologically too! I am looking at this as a brand new experience, and cos I was ok up til 9 weeks with the 1st 2, then 13 weeks with the 3rd, I refuse to worry til that point this time round so hopefully that will keep me a bit saner for the next 4 weeks at least! Will seem more real getting these delightful cyclogest pessaries from the doc later and telling our mums and work though!

Congratulations 4ever!!! - sending the stickiest of sticky thoughts your way and reassuring to hear your six month break did you the world of good as I'm about to embark on the same!

VM - soo feeling for you at this time. We really are in the hands of the gods in the early weeks but feeling wretched is a good sign all your hormones are kicking in.. I will be thinking about you on the 10th (and thanks for your kind comments about DS and my photos, it did make me chuckle!).

Vjay - sending you lots of positive vibes too and hope its not too cold up your way.

Welcome back Scamper good to hear from you.

Hi MM - glad to hear you feel your break has done you good too and you're tentatively thinking about ttc in March.

Jools - I'm really feeling for you and your ttc predicament. I hope you and your DP works things out x

I'm working from home this week as not ready to face colleagues just yet. I have access to my work emails and wanted to have peace to start my new project (highlighter pens at the ready) but have spent most of today staring wistfully out the study window like a teenager!

to everyone else. Right Blue, focus, focus...

Hello, well I had some brown spotting on Friday so have been feeling a bit blue since then. I saw my doctor today and she is going to do a re-test next tuesday to see if I'm still pg, if it's +ve she will continue with my booking appointment....so all I can do is wait. Other than that I am fine

vm forgot to say, I finished your book and all I can say is bring on the next one xx

Oh VJay you now have me weeping over this keyboard! I have been feeling such a wreck... have been feeling in the last week that I'm just not up to this business of parenthood, loss, miscarriage, pregnancy, and that biology is a dangerous, dangerous thing, that it's reduced me to rubble and that I'll never be a functioning whole person again... and now you say these kind words and it's like a tonic. So thank you; I don't think you can know what it means to me. xx

Jools, really thinking of you and anyone else who is feeling low!

mm, thanks for being there...

4ever Congratulations wishing you lots of luck and positive thoughts for this pg
Vjay How's the spotting? I bet you are worried sick aren't you? Will keep everything crossed for you
VM I know how you feel about all the innocence disappearing after m/c, I will dread the next pg even more, but it's like walking on fire, you know it's going to hurt but you have to do it to get to the other side. Good luck for the scan on the 10th will be watching for an update
MM Hello lovely how are you? Definately a sensible idea having a little wait, hope your results don't get delayed too much. Have you had bloods done for gene compatability? We have and they will be among the results we get back in Feb, silently dreading that one I can tell you
Barbie Sounds like things are manic with you at the moment sweet, let's hope whilst your mind is somewhere else you come back to us with a BFP
Blue I've been thinking of you, glad to hear you are taking things easy
Jools Sorry things haven't worked out as planned this month, please try and stay positive I know it is hard, but keep smiling lovely
Scamper Glad you had a lovely holiday
Curly Wow you were busy yesterday, hope you enjoyed the chocolate though

Well it's approaching the anniversary of first m/c and I have to say it's all I'm thinking about at the moment, so feeling a litle low, dreading the fact that I will have more EDD's and anniversarys throughput the year too Oh well, life goes on, note to self stop being so bloody miserable!

Hello to anyone I haven't mentioned

vm I too am an absolute hormonal wreck at the moment, you are not alone. The spotting I had has really upset me, it's the not knowing and waiting to see what happens next that is worse, and accepting that there is nothing I can do.

I am actually dreading getting to that 6 week knicker checking stage (aswell as desperately wanting to ) so I sympathise Vjay I keep telling myself that, since there is nothing I can do, there is no point worrying and I'd just have to accept it but I am certain it is almost impossible not to panic and worry.

I've given it a lot of thought, and will probably book a holiday if when I get to 6 weeks and go away somewhere to take my mind off things and also avoid lack of productivity at work whilst I obsess. I've also got planned in my head a sort of emergency kit to keep with me at work - loads of pads, dark clothing, a towel etc as I have a real horror of things happening so suddenly again when I am out in public.

I don't know if other people have coping strategies that work for them - maybe it would be interesting / helpful to get some opinions on how to get through this - I'm sure talking about it helps though ....

Thanks ladies for your kind reassuring words! I start the cyclogest tonight so will keep you posted!

Vjay just had to say that with last preg I spotted browny stuff for 2 weeks from week 6-8 & went straight to EPU for a scan, at one stage I had scans every 4 days!, then it went to weekly ones, bean continued to grow just fine til 13 weeks & loss was totally unrelated to spotting. I was reassured spotting is perfectly normal so everything is crossed that you will be fine! Mainly tho get straight to EPU & demand a scan to reassure yourself! Fingers crossed and praying for us all xxxxxxx

VJay, if it's any comfort, it sounds to me as if you are still well and truly pregnant with hormones going strong - the sickness etc - and that the spotting you had wasn't enough for a mc. I know it's hell though. I'm proving to be really crap at the waiting game and only wish I were stronger... but I'm not. Each day brings us closer, though.

Jools, I think forced distraction - physical removal to another place and clime if need be - is probably as good a strategy as any and that your holiday idea sounds great!

Mollie, thinking of you as you approach this anniversary. Take the time you need to grieve... sometimes there are no short cuts.

4ever, congratulations! I'd like to add lots of grinning faces but am typing on phone and not sure how to.

Vjay and VM hang in there, it's bound to be an anxious time but just cuddle the little ones you have already brought safely into world and remind yourselves that you can do this. Vjay, my friend had spotting and bleeding throughout her pg and was terrified but her 5 year old son is proof that it doesn't mean the worst. If brown, could be old implantation blood? Keeping everything crossed for you

Jools, not sure about coping tips, apart from I would really recommend acupuncture for calming and mumsnet of course for getting things out of your system! I think you said in a previous message that you see your next birthday as a big milestone but if you look on this and other threads you'll see lots of ladies safely delivering babies in their forties, so don't feel like it won't happen unless you get pg before your birthday, it WILL happen for you hon, don't ever lose hope

Mollie, sorry to hear you have been feeling sad, anniversaries always bring it all back to the surface. Am thinking of you

Big hellos to all I haven't mentioned by name. I have own good news to add for 2009 as I finally got that BFP. Am in doctors waiting to be seen just to let them know, but it's very early days. I don't have any pg symptoms which is a bit worrying but am just feeling like what will be will be and trying to stay hopeful

Big hand holding and positive thoughts to VM and Vjay. As Jools says, getting through 6-8 weeks is nothing short of agony as its the time for lots of normal 'activity' which can also be the sign of trouble, the worst combination for one's sanity ever.

re: coping strategies, interesting points Jools. There were alot of coincidences with my two mcs i.e. I had just started a fortnight holiday with both of them which at the time you think - great bloody timing - but looking back I'm so glad I was off work and got to hide away until the initial shock and pain had settled down.

We were initially going ttc from April this year but have a big extended family holiday in June when I would be 6-8 weeks and there is no way I'm tempting fate timing wise. We're going to ttc from June (might even start during the family holiday and just lie low the rest of the summer. Sadly I feel a bit of an 'old hand' at it now and feel prepared for the scenario I truly hope won't darken my door again...

Popped next door earlier to drop new baby present off at neighbours (wee surprise, they have a 13 year old, Mum is 41 and Dad 43). Baby Robbie is absolutely gorgeous and at the tiny, curled up like a comma stage. My DS looked like a big giraffe in comparison! It reinfoced my heart that I do want another and will do my utmost to make it happen (as God is my witness... oh, I've come over all Gone with the Wind).

Sorry Scamper - x-post. CONGRATULATIONS!! so happy for you x

My goodness there must be some strong baby dust on this thread

Congratulations Scamper - that has made my day

Bloody hell girls, soooooo many bfp !!!!
scamper Well done my lovely, hope the doctors went well....at thiis rate you will all be starting your own pregnant thread, save room for the rest of us wont you?
mm my very good friend, how are you, i have been so busy so havent got around to that email ive been promising A very happy birthday for this coming weekend!!! least we can enjoy a nice drink eh?!
mollie hello to you too, i hope you relax and take time to grieve/ look forward to the future over the next few weeks, it will be our turn soon....
vm your book whichi just havent had the time to read is now in my cabin bag ready to be read on the flight to dubai! Flights are booked for next wednesday yikes.....
jools i think im not going ot test to see if im pregnant, just wait until my bikini no longer fits! that way ill be at least three/ four months gone and would of missed all the worry! great in theory doubt very much it will happen though!

As for me, the flu has finally gone, we have carpets and a moving date so its all go..
Still no period, not had one since last may apart from the two eposides of spotting but you know what? Im not worried or bothered int he slightest, What will be will be....that my new theory for 09

love and kisses Barbie x

Scamper Congratulations!!