Emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels part 3 xxxxx

[christmasBarbielovesSanta]

so here we are on part three, let this one be fun of happy news.....

bravery medal goes to MLS

Happy new eyes, MLS.
As for hiding threads, I didn't know you could but now I know, I don't ever have to see the August or September threads again. Hurrah

so not just me then LBM? I've hidden well more than that, plus anything else that goes on / might even dare to mention babies!!

Hello again!

Am up late again, but off to bed in mo.

GracieGirl - no not got any follow up appointments with regard to mc but have to go back in couple of weeks for another scan as they found a cyst whilst looking for baby - didn't really take it all in as kinda switch off after they said baby was dead. So not going to worry about it until nearer time. Oh hope return to work went ok for you.

Littlebellsmum - Aunty didn't say anything in response to LO question, but she did ring whilst we were out earlier to say she be round to drop off something tomorrow so think LO made her feel guilty! Wonder what it is? Gonna have to buy more vases if any more flowers arrived!

MummylovesSadie - hope your op went well.

4ever - hope you were able to kick your heels up on your birthday and have a drink or two - you deserve it!

Today been a bit of a mix day - very flat this morning - lots of bleeding etc but perked up a bit this arrvo with arrival of yet more flowers! not from Aunty thou! And took the DH and LO to park to play - was fun, then went to friends for tea, so was lovely to be pampered and not have to cook.

Right off to bed now - honest!

I survived my first day back at work. It was really busy which helped keep me occupied and keep everyone else from asking me too many questions.

I am sooooo tired - off to bed.

Hi,
I had a miscarriage a week ago, I was 12 wks. It was my second pregnancy and my husband and I are really devastated. Just wandered how people coped really cos still find myself getting weepy at the silliest of things and the guilt is that norrmal I feel like I should have picked stuff up earlier, but could doctors do anything that early on even if I did speak to them?
Stopped my bleeding after a few days but it started again has anyone else had this?
I was taken into emergency but they couldn't do anything except give fluids. then had to go for scan next day in which my husband and I had to wait with other mums who were looking at there 20 wk pictures and giving us strange looks, then had to go for anti-D injection and was sent to wrong place they sent us to labour ward!! was called back and then had to wait agin, was there for 3hrs!! Like some form of NHS torture!
Would love some advice on how to deal with emotions, my todler thinks I'm loopy at the mo although I do keep getting urge to spoil her wrotten, so she doesn't seem to mind!!
Was thinking about planting a rose or smtng to mark my little one? At least would have a place to go as it is so hard to explain a loss like this to people who haven't been through it, I mean I felt it moving from early on, and it would just be nice maybe to have something to mark it so I don't feel it has just been forgotten and put aside. I thought maybe I could use the spring flowers (crocuses and snow drops) (sorry about spelling!) then it will feel like it is something that is always with me but in a beautiful way.
xxx

Welcome to our cave bionic and engelbart, so sorry for what you've been through, bionic you sound like you've got a lovely caring family..

Hello and thanks to the other lovely ladies on here for the birthday greetings! I spent it writhing in agony from AF, and almost overdosed on co dydramol! Was taking 1000mg every 4 hrs and was out of it by the evening! Pain was finally numb by then! Sooo birthday is now postponed til this evening and going for a meal with DH then instead!

Hope you all have a good day, sorry for short post, loads of work to do! xxxxxxxxxx

Ahh xposts litlebig - so sorry for your loss hon, sounds like a bad experience at hospital, its crazy how mc sufferers are put alongside PG women its so insensitive.. Your feelings and emotions will be on a massive rollercoaster and its all normal.. Dont analyze it just roll with it.. This site is brilliant, I lost my last one neraly 5 weeks ago, sadly its my 4th mc in 16 months and am desperate to be a mum. This site has been my therapy and support, alongside my amazing DH of course. Read through prev posts and the feeling of being alone in this will dissapear as you will be able to relate your feelings to each and everyone of us, and that really helps.. Marking your babys short life helps, we planted 3 rows of winter flowers before the last mc, and when due dates or anniversarys have come, we have let off a helium balloon, it all helps.. One girl thats graduated to the next ttc site had a tattoo... all ideas.. Anyway too many for you to take, right now deal with one minute at a time, and go with your feelings.. We are all here whenever you need us.. Sending you a big hug.. xxx

littlebig huge hugs to you. Sorry you have had to go through this. Nobody really understands how hard it is unless they have been through it themselves.

Nobody could have done anything to stop your miscarriage & there was nothing you did wrong to make it happen. Your lo was simply not developing right for some reason & your body knew there was no chance for survival so it did what it is programmed to do.

Had you already had your 12 weeks scan? Did you have bleeding before this or did it just suddenly start & you lost your baby. It happens differently for most of us but there is absolutely nothing any of us can do about it. For me I had slight spotting in weeks 5 & 6 & two scans revealed that the baby was ok & the heart was beating but then in week 9 & had more substantial bleeding & the scan showed the baby had died & I mc later that day.

That was three weeks ago & today my af started three weeks to the day. We all deal with it differently but I think for most of us we really want to get pregnant again really quickly. I know I do and as soon as af is over I'm getting right back on that horse again.

I too was giving my dd loads of hugs but also (very guiltily) screaming at her for the littlest thing - not like me at all.

The rose idea is a good one. As is jewellery with an angel/cherub. My husband has bought me a Links of London charm bracelet with a little cherub with wings as a charm. I also have a box with my +pg test, a letter from the hospital & my NHS prescription maternity card in it. We can't pretend were not pregnant & we shouldn't try & forget it either. It does get easier although I doubt the pain & the heartache you feel when remembering 'what should have been' will ever go.

hi - sorry short one from me too today. hideous day. mc 4 weeks ago today - and obv cos it was feb it is the 5th again too which feels like a double whammy. very .
still bleeding, still got infection, still feeling crap. well, crapper actually if there is such a word!! oh, and still off work. well it can only get better can't it...

gigglewitch- so sorry to hear you are feeling so crap. I would say something like "I hope you feel better soon" but I know when people have said this to me it hasn't helped one bit, nothing can make us feel better. It's not like we've getting over a cold or some other trivial ailment.
Can anyone do anything about the bleeding? I'm still bleeding and spent ages looking on the net today looking for answers, apparently there are some pills or something which can help the bleeding stop. Though no-ones mentioned this to me...

Hello everyone, not got much to update today but just want to say hi to Littlebig and sorry to hear about your mc and the experience you had at the hospital. I don't know about the stopping and starting bleeding but think it's unpredictable really, sadly you could bleed for a couple of weeks or more, I'm on day 11 of light bleeding and don't know what's going on.

Emotionally it will take time to heal. You'll have ups and downs and will feel extra sensitive to things. I watched a film today (not back at work yet!) with some violence in it that I found really upsetting and am still upset by, when normally it wouldn't have bothered me as it's just a film! Feels silly but I'm just different to my normal self.

Hope you have plenty of support and the opportunity to stay at home or do whatever you find relaxing.

Giggle sorry you're feeling so crap! Hope the antibiotics do their stuff.

Hope everyone else is ok x

Gigglewitch - it's my one month anniversary today too. I'm not doing too badly today - but then my lovely mum came round and babysat and we got to go out to the pub. Interestingly , the last time we were there I told my DH I was pregnant and we had a pretty heavy discussion about if we could cope with another child.....

Englebert - I'm not sure there is anything that can be done about the bleeding, mine took about 3 weeks to stop .

Littlebig - sad welcome to you. Sorry for your loss , 12 weeks is just too long. You mention blaming yourself and I know just what you mean, I'm convinced that it was my fault that I lost this lo, I had too much wine and drank too much coffee and tea - it may not be true but it won't change how I feel, I just think I didn't look after this one like the other two, maybe it was because it was such a surprise. One month later, I can live with it but I I don't think the guilt will go...

Gigglewitch someone's looking for you here

thank you alta, you sweetie

hows you today?

Gigglewitch - BIG BIG HUGS!!

and not forgetting Littlebellsmum too - BIG BIG HUGS to you too!

Hope the day got easier as it's gone on, and tomorrow an even better day.

Littlebig - am sorry for your loss and here's some BIG BIG HUGS for you too.

My day was a bit shitty to begin with as LO insisted we play with her dolls which she insisted on calling her baby bro and sis babies and got quite cross cos I wouldn't call them babies, so found this quite hard to cope with, but day improved as it went on.

Saw lovely female GP today as finally managed to get an appointment after 4 days of trying! Burst into tears on her within less than 2 seconds of sitting down! But she was lovely, gave me the painkillers I needed and signed me off work for 2 weeks, even though I insisted I wouldn't need that long as had far too much to do, and she was quite firm in saying they would managed without me, and I shouldn't rush back until I was ready. But I'll see how I go (how long do must peep usually take off?) Also gave me some anti bios as I'm still bleeding heavily, and said that the hosptial should have given me all this when I went on Mon. NHS for you eh?!

On the plus side at least I'm helping to keep the pads company in business! Sorry I keep having random weird sense of humour at moment - must be the hormones!

Find that mornings tend to be the worst for me in feeling low, and then I sorta go stupidly chirpy in the afternoons, and am sure this is confusing people. Am I the only one doing this, or is that par for the course?

BE, soo glad you got to the gp and she was good
I think we've all posted the 'how long' question, and there truly isn't a right answer. Other than to say take as long as you need. Honestly. I have been off a month
but as your doc says, they manage without me (even tho i'm the manager lol!)

LBM I thought of you this morning too, I knew we had mc'd on the same day. (((hugs))) to you sweetie.

Ah so that explains why you up so late Gigglewitch all this skiving?! Seriously no I do appreciate we all need as much time as we can get. Guess I just feel a bit parnoid about having too much time out, and worry what others think. My Mum was a bit when I said on phone yesterday that I wasn't sure that I'd be up to going back on Monday, so kinda made me parnoid that I'm overreacting to situation and should just plunge right back in.

Am a bit scared about going back as one of my work colluges is pg and has a bump, and finding pg women most heart stabbing at mo and worried about how I'll feel. I know I'll have to deal with it - just so raw at mo.

Anyway I'm just gonna see how I do over the weekend, and take it from there. If still bleeding lots, I don't intend to go in on Mon, as keep needing to go to the loo frequently to sort myself out. That's another question - why do I keep needing to go to the loo?! Just wish I could bleed quietly without body doing big song and dance about it! Can you tell I don't have a lot of patience?!

Anyway change of topic... remember the Aunty who didn't bring flowers? Well today she rolled up with a potted pansy which was sat in a family heirloom bowl which used to belong to her grandmother. Can't believe my LO made her feel so guilty that she's passing on family heirlooms! DH was very amused and impressed by the skills of our LO in getting people to give things to us!

And so on that note I shall bide you goodnight ladies! Speak again tomorrow.

Morning all, just finished my 2nd night shift.
BionicEar I had 1 week off between the bad scan and my ERPC waiting for the miscarriage not to happen and then 3 weeks off after my operation. I bled for just over a week after my ERPC.

Glad I took a whole 4 weeks off as during this nightshift I've looked after 2 people having suspected miscarriages , one with a possible ectopic and then finished nicely with a few hours looking after a woman in labour! Just what I didn't need!

hi everyone i mc on tues still bleeding at mo in a weird mood today one min im fine and the next omg i cant cope with this . ive been reccommended to come o this site from a great friend who nows wat im going tho love ya loads xxxx

gracie dear of you, we are lucky to have ladies like you I hope you are ok, apart from being wrung out and sleepy.
bionic dont feel guilty about taking time off honey, I did precious little for about a month but I am self employed so I did have impatient customers and an empty bank balance. You need time for the utter rawness to balance a wee bit especially with lovely bumps everywhere. Love the heirloom
And yes I was/am very low in the morning and then get completely insanely random pm = hormones.
giggle for you sweetie, infections, antibiotics and still bleeding you must be feeling ultra pants. Be gentle on yourself it is still early days , I know it dosnt feel like it though.
englebert hi, I dont think stopping the bleeding with tablets sounds too healthy tbh I think its all got to come away and in its own good time. It makes sense to me that while we are bleeding post mc then stop, slow down and start recovering. I bled for 14 days exactly.
littlebig big hugs for you and your dh, what an awful time I hope you find support and help and a little smile sometimes too.x
4ever hope you finally managed to enjoy your birthday af really did bing her hobnail boots did'nt she.
altagloria sounds like you are still in limbo land nearly time for your scan on Monday?
littlebell Don't blame yourself sweetie, it is so hard and I know we all do try to find a reason for the eternal why question but I dont think a few glasses of wine, or in my case my dreaded coffee habit was to blame.

I think that I am about ready to move out of our lovely cave now... and that is really hard for me to write. I have been here from September on and off through 2 mc and could never have coped without this amazing thread. Lots of love ,sandy kisses and warm sea breezes.xx

Kate - Welcome to our thread, I'm really sorry you have to join us, but we'll look after you! I imagine you've figured out who I am after my rant this morning about A&E! I'm here for you in real life too, remember that - 24 hours a day.

Mermaid - yes I'm fine thank you just having a rant! I was just stressed cos the woman in labour wasn't that bothered she was pregnant, but that is what A&E is all about, anyone who has cared for their pregnancy by the time they are full term tends to have found out which hospitals have maternity units or attended some antenatal appointments! I feel much better for some sleep. That is why you Kate need to take plenty of time off work!!!! (see I can pull rank and boss you about on here too! )

Big hugs to Giggle, MLS, Littlebig, LittleBell, Alta, EngelBart, 4ever, Bionic and anyone else who's still around.

Hello ladies just a quickie, can anyone help me with af stuff? I thought the first one after mc was supposed to be heavy & crampy. I thought mine had started yesterday but it has been light. There has been hardly and blood on the pad, its really been when I wipe - there is more blood first thing in the morning but it doesn't seem like the kind of period I'm used to. I'm really hoping its af.

Thanks girls

I've just started bleeding again after none for almost 2 weeks. Its 3 weeks and 3 days since my ERPC. Is this my AF do you think or just random post miscarriage bleeding? So far its really light and no pains whatsoever.
MLS I think we're copying each other again!

GG this random bleeding is really very annoying isn't it?! How are we supposed to know if it is af not not? One thing I do know is that the clot has not made an appearance yet, I think I'll know when that comes out