Emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels part 3 xxxxx

[christmasBarbielovesSanta]

so here we are on part three, let this one be fun of happy news.....

morning girls, am slumped in front of computer cos I went back to the gym today. knackered but its a good feeling. giggle and littlebell I so know what you mean about Finding the Old Me. I have realised this week hat I probably have lost my old me completley after 4mc I have a spiky coating which wasn't there before.
Mummylovessadie I am sure we have laid there waiting for them to say there was a lo still there,it is completely natural.
littlebell at your scanner, why do some people have to do that? I always think that something really awful must be happening in their lives but its not what you need with your feet in the air wishing you'd remembered to shave your legs. And how strong you are being around your family with babies everywhere and saying nothing. I am crap at hiding things. 2manychips I keep crying at things too the sales in waterproof mascara will be going through the roof - crappy hormones.
napa hmm vodka and cranberry juice? it would sure break up the boredom, but am heaps better with tablets from the dr who laughed at my honeymoon cystitus
4ever hope you are ok today sweetie? must be time to plan holdiay wardrobe, its great to have something to look forward to at the minute.

altagloria sad welcomes, you read through all of it? have a cup of tea and biscuts to recover! Try to take it easy over the next few days. This is a good place to be and has helped me beyond measure. Thinking of you today and sending you a hugx.

hi, altagloria sorry to hear of your loss. I m/c around 6 wks last June and didnt experience too much bleeding at all. So much so I was scanned to check it had all gone, and thankfully it had. I hope its the same for you.

mermaid read/skimmed all of it yes... Not doing anything else just now, off work for the rest of the week so have plenty of time to fill!

chips I thought there was always loads of blood and have been dreading it. Thanks for that I hope it's more like yours... can't believe we're talking about the 'best' way of losing our pregnancies

Oh God apologies in advance for a ranty rambling email but I'm now feel so crap. The sonographer said immediately sorry but your mc is incomplete. She also said that I have a cyst on each of my ovaries but 'its nothing to worry about'. Yeah right I've just mc & not even completely & now & have two cysts of course I'm going to worry. I really thought I was over the worst of it & I had been feeling really positive & we were even ttc again but now I know it isn't even over & I'm crying as I type this. I thought the twinges in my right side were because I was ovulating but it seems it was all because of a cyst.

I had a bloody bitch of a doctor afterwards too. She said I have to wait for it to pass naturally which might not happen until my next period. I asked her about the chances of mc again - I was really just looking for reassurance & expected her to say what you read everywhere 'once you've had a mc your chances of having one again are no higher than anyone else's'. What she actually said was because of my age (39) there was every chance that the chromosomes would be incorrect & it would end in mc again & even maybe the time after that. She said that that we have to make the choice of whether we keep trying until we have a successful pregnancy or whether we decide that we can't face another mc & stop trying. What a horrible thing to say. These people really don't realise that everything they say has such an impact on us & that we memorise it word for word & keep replaying it in our heads & read all sorts of things into every word.

Then when we left I said to dh 'I thought the pains I was getting were ov pains' & he snapped at me telling me not to think too much into things. Of course we all bloody think too much into things - how can you not when every fibre of your being is telling you that you NEED a baby. It's not a 'want' or a 'would be nice to have' it is a real need like food or water so of course we all analyse every twinge & pain. He has since sent me a text saying that I did well at the hospital which has made me cry even more!

I just want this whole horrible episode to be over so I can put it behind me.

Oh, Mummylovessadie, what a crappy day
To give you a bit of reassurance on ther trying again front, I went to see my GP when I mc's who was just lovely and in passing she talked about her mc's and what she had done about it. It turned out that she had 4 children and had had 3 mc's, one before the third and two before the fourth and, whilst she didn't tell me her age, I don't think she had been excatly a spring chicken. She did say that she nearly gave up bewteen 3 and 4 but carried on as she just really wanted that baby.
So, it has to be your decision if you try again or not - I think, having taked about it, we will, terrifying as the prospect is. Both my grandmothers had babies in their 40's , so I don't see why we shouldn't at least try as long as we want too.

Eat lots of chocolate, watch crappy telly and go easy on your DH, he may be feeling it too. Mine really surprised me last night by telling me how upset he'sd been and I'd been too wrapped up in myself to even notice!

Lots of hugs

altagloria I am glad you have a week off, thats something at least. I would tend to agree with 2manychips and will keep my fingers crossed that this is true for you too. I lost a lo in Sept at 6 weeks and it was simular to a very heavy period with bearable period type cramps. I think the rule of thumb is if you are soaking through a towel every half hour then its probably a good idea to nip to hospital. Have you got lots of support, choc, books etc? I think that it must be worse waiting for it to happen. Mine have happened without much warning that anything was wrong. I have mc at 12 and 9 weeks and they were much worse so hopefully..... yeah you are right its awful talking about the best way. sending you a
mummylovessadie for you do you want some of my vodka and cranberry?

mummylovessadie sorry you are having such a terrible time just now. What an encouraging doctor you have... don't pay any attention she doesn't get it! There is absolutely no reason not to keep trying if that's what you want and you could well be successful.

mermaid yes am here with DH, cats, tea and cake, full wallowing session. But feels so weird to have to wait for it to happen... I don't even know if I'll be able to go back to work on Monday. I told one person what was going on and have no idea what she's told everyone else. Will just have to not worry about what they're thinking I suppose.

altagloria perfect ingredients for wallowing honey. It is a horrible time and somehow I think it makes us feel very vulnerable to what other peoples reactions are. Monday sounds soon though you poor thing, can you take more sick leave?

mermaid given that I'm still waiting for 'it' to happen I think I'll use the booking-in appointment I had made for Monday to ask to be signed off for a few days, then I have the option. I'm still on self-cert time at the moment. Nice to get some use out of the appointment I suppose

Poor DH doesn't even feel ready to go back to work tomorrow! Suppose I'm glad he's such a sensitive soul, seems to be sharing my hormonal ups and downs.

Oh yes please mermaid voddy & cranberry will do very nicely thank you!

altagloria oh your lovely dh. mine found it hard to have to watch me going through and felt unable to fix things. I felt his exclusion when we spent the day in hospital and the tea lady ignored him - its a case of 'stand by your man'
mummylovessadie yep and an umbrella,and a swizzle stick

mummylovessadie I've been following this thread having had my own chequered history, 2 x DS, 2mc, 1 hydatidiform mole, 1 TOP re bad cvs result so truly feel for everyone for whom these experiences are very fresh.

Hope you don't mind me popping into this thread just once to say that I am now in the July list thread at the grand old age of 44, CVS clear and 20 week scan all normal. So this is just to say to you DON'T give up! How dare the sonographer give you such negative advice. You aren't as old as me, you have 5 years until you're my age and I'm pg with a baby who's chromosomes have been karyotyped and appear normal. Hugs & good luck to you xx

rubyriley thank you for being so kind.

feeling tonight. xx

MummyLovesSadie Hard not to be sad when mc so recent; that's normal (hormones play havoc with emotions as if mc isn't traumatic enough) but felt had to post as fairly sure that aged 40, chance of chromosome probs is still 98% chance all will be ok. Try again when you're ready and every chance you'll be successful.

I wanted you to know and remember that there IS hope, you haven't left it too late, in fact I would say it's much more likely that your eggs are healthy than the sonographer's negative viewpoint and where DID she get her facts from!! xx

Sorry, meant Doctor's incorrect facts not sonographer's

absolutely everyone who has posted here, I've just read all last night and today's posts, I have tears everywhere because I can identify something in every post and i just want to give you all a huge ((((HUG))))
look after you, every single one of you, and remember that whatever little bit of 'me-time' you get is just what you deserve, and you need it, to get better.

identify with i should have written

That's kind of you gigglewitch

From your posts yesterday you sounded like you're having a difficult time just now. Hope you are ok. Give yourself plenty of time to recover from this, three weeks doesn't seem very long considering how awful this whole thing is...

I'll tell you what, having now had a mc, it's going to make me a hell of a lot more sympathetic next time it happens to friends. Previously I hadn't thought that much about it except for saying sorry - I now am so much better informed. Obviously I'd rather not be quite so well informed but I really need to try and see a positive in this!

Just what I've been thinking today littlebellsmum

Before I got pregnant (when I started worrying about everything!) the thought of mc had really never occurred to me. I don't know anyone personally who has suffered one so had no idea how common it is. I was aware of the reasons for the 12 week wait for telling people but thought it was mostly a formality. How naive.

I've learned so much in the last few days that I wish I didn't have to know. But as you say littlebells it's opened up whole new levels of sympathy and admiration for other women who have come through this even just once...

I'm running off to Edinburgh for a long weekend with my DH, my brother and his girlfriend. I will try my best to resist the urge to find an internet cafe to check Mumsnet whilst I'm gone . Hopefully this weekend will be just what I need. Speak to you all soon. x x

I just did a pregnancy test and got negative - at long last !! How weird to be this pleased to get a BFN , but at least my body has finally caught up 2.5 weeks later that I'm actually not pregnant anymore. Its the next step to getting my head together bit.

GG congrats on your BFN.... it feels funny saying that but when I had mine the other day I was happy too!! It's kind of like having a clean slate again.

Have a fab time in Edinburgh, I'm going there for the weekend in a couple of weeks.

and support for mls insensitive cow! Bless ruby for posting and giving hope to us all, and I wanted to add my mum had me at 43 so ignore silly drs stupid comments! Re the retained product, I had that with mmc no3, I was 13 weeks, had an erpc, week later scan showed retained product, got told could have another erpc or wait for it to pass, waited for period, had scan & still not gone so ended up having another erpc 6 weeks later. It was awful as all the thoughts of moving onwards, ttc, & in my case, all my tests had to be put on hold. It was a really hard time of being in limbo, I said often it was like my body holding me ransom. I really feel for you hon, see how you go, but if it happened to me again I'd be straight in for another erpc for psychological reasons alone!

Hello alta welcome, and so sorry for what you are going through, its an awful time, hoping your bleeding isnt too bad...

littlebell thanks for being sensitive re dd & ds, those of us not there yet do suffer a little with bump envy, but you certainly dont need to apologise! Bless you for being so sweet

gracie have a great w/end in Edinburgh!

mermaid how you doing sweetheart? Know what you mean about spiky coating! Gonna try & shed it on hol tho! Also sooo relate to dh being ignored by tea ladies, docs, nurses ect! Makes you wanna shout 'its his baby too you know' and stand over them protectively stroking!

As for me AF is imminent & will prob arrive for my birthday next weds! Am hoping to come home to NK result in post but am almost convinced its gonna be negative so wont be dissapointed, obviously praying its not but not holding out too much hope, looks like it continuing forth with a wing and a prayer method for us! Am confronting my bump envy head on with my pregnant coleague who sits next to me(!!!!). Shes 20 weeks and very visible. I'm coping tho, even asked about maternity clothes today (pats self on back) . Still trying to shake off should of had 12 week scan on mon, and on other thread a few are discussing theres, so was a bit hard. Also did have the urge to phone preg friend, who had mc at 4 and a half weeks after knowing was pg for 2 days, and is now 10 weeks, we were PG together for 2 weeks, and I know its awful but shes now fully into PG mode and she kept saying she could understand how I felt after my mc cos she had one, but she only knew for 2 days, not 3 months like me with no 3, or 2 months with the other 3, and I really want to say imagine it now then? Which is so wrong of me but I am confessing my sin on here to you all ..

Am still rather hormonal I think!