emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels xxx

[EisAHandbagaHolic]

hi ladies
well i think its about time we had somewhere where we can all come to reflect on our lost angels and help us to move on towards the future and support eachother through the bumps in the road in the meantime
love and hugs to you all
{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}
xx ei xx

Hi mm, sorry to hear you're feeling down. Tiredness can make a big difference and can just lower one's resistance to everything generally, especially the emotional stuff, so be easy on yourself... these dark gloomy days don't help either. Can you get an early night tonight?

barbie, hope you can have an early evening under the duvet too!

Well, after all my panicking yesterday about not ovulating yet I got a positive OPK result today, so the control freak in me is satisfied. Now I just have to AVOID getting this egg fertilised so that we can start ttc in the next cycle as planned. Sigh. It's all beginning to make my head spin!

Barbie As I am looking after you whilst your poorly, I have arranged that when you get home you will have butternut squash and red pepper soup with a soft floury roll. A nice hot bath with champneys bubble foam, with a warm fluffy towel for after. There will be a hot water bottle in the bed warming it up for you and a man sized pillow for you to cuddle. Hope that makes you feel a little better sweets x
Aspi So sorry that you had to join us and to hear of your awful experience, hope you get the support you need with us
MM I think you should decide on the day if you want to go to the service or not, see how you feel, try and take things easy and remember to get some "me" time x
VM It's really bizarre isn't it trying not to get pg! God help our men after Christmas that's all I can say
Sabs Think the idea of a new thread for the new year for us TTC is a fabulous idea

Hope all is well with everyone else

Emmsy thank you so much for this thread - I love it dearly, great name too! Great inspiration in your post that there is hope for us all! Congratulations!

Sabs Hello to you! I'm sorry for what you've been through and havent even said hi yet! Have to say, although a positive thought of a new thread, I'd feel I was betraying an old friend to start anew! Still a bit clingy to all thats comforting! Would hate to lose touch with some of you if you slowly filter off and dissapear! We have our pact of all meeting when we finally have our babies remember!

Aspi Welcome to our beautiful thread, these girls are a true support, and we all understand totally. Take all the time you need to come to terms with what an awful thing you've gone through, we are all here when you need to sound off, or just talk it through xxx

Mollie thanks for caring! Hope you're doin ok?!

Barbie How you doin today? Get the lemsip out and a big blanket for wrapping up in, DH had this awful head cold last week but better now so hopefully won't knock you out too long.. You go with your gut instincts about the service, it could be comforting, don't let my story put you off, yours is specifically for lost angels so should be very sensitive, might help, but you might not want to open your wounds again... You will know how you feel on the day.. Sending another hug in case the old ones wearing out! xx

VM, MM Circ - wow I started a religous debate yesterday! I actually feel bad for ranting so much now (taking on the catholic guilt VM!) As you say MM church can probably be a good thing to bring our feelings out as part of the healing ritual. As with Barbie you will know on the day how you feel, if you can cope, and whether to go.. I was handling the service itself, feeling almost uplifted, until they read out Baby Baker and all lost babies! I sent the vicar a really long ranting e-mail & now feel awful! Sent another one this morning saying sorry for my rant, but obviously its a sensitive issue! Also feel bad cos he's helped so much in the past, he did my dads funeral, and then our wedding, and we renewed our vows on our 1st anniversary too, and he's prayed for the babies. He is a kind and well meaning man, and would never of hurt us intentionally. I feel bad for badmouthing a man of the cloth. I need God on my side right now!

Think I'm just feeling VERY pmt. Did a -ive test so just waiting on AF (today or tomorrow). Sod all that 'it will happen when it happens'. In 2 weeks hubby is being tied to the bed for 2 days ! Am feeling quite obsessional and emotional, and irritible! Classic joys of womanhood...! My friend that mc called earlier, she sounds quite unaffected so far. I guess it hits us all in diff ways. She has a DS already so the feeling of desperation to be a parent isnt as overwhelming for her. She wants to ttc again asap, we all know that urge, but she said 'Its a race for one of us to get preg again now' which I thought was a bit insensitive of her! I thought it would open up this deeper understanding between us but it hasnt really, which is sad. One thing said at the service just stays with me tho; We can all grieve, and so many people say 'I know how you feel' and you think 'no you don't' even if you are mourning the same person, because we all have our own unique memories. For example my mums memories of my dad, her best friend and lover, are far diff than mine of my daddy. So I guess that although we are all united on this site and feel so close, that it doesnt automatically mean we will bond with everyone that has had mc. I think the diff with this site is we are all looking for the support, and some people may not be. Anyway thats my philophisising done for today...

Love and hugs and strength to you all! xxxxxxxxxxxxxx Sorry for another superlong post! We've done religion - politics tomorrow anyone?!? (Only Joking!) xxxxxxxxxxxx

4ever You are right about the way we have all bonded on this thread we are all looking for the same things, don't be worrying about us losing touch I think a new thread is a good idea to move to when we all feel ready. We have all moved on so much in a few weeks and it is not quite so raw but I know I would still be checking in here also.

vm fair point about the dark gloomy days, it's dark when I go to work and dark when I get home whether I am working days of nights. I will try to get that early night but I always have the intensions but it never seems to work that way. Glad your body is doing what it should be again.

mollie forget the 'me' time I want some of your pampering, I think you ticked every box in my pampering mind there. How are you today hun, really hope you are good and joking aside I will get some 'me' time sqeezed in somewhere.

Hello everyone, I hope you are all feeling well today. My diet has started, and I'm feeling hungry, especially when I saw the butternutsquash and red pepper soup on the menu....yum!
I have been feeling fine for a few days now, then I started to think of my step sis who is pg, and is 2 weeks ahead of my 'would be' dates, and I got all upset, so I had a little cry, then thought, let her live her life, and I will live mine. Our time will come ladies, just as there time is now.

VickyJane, yes, our time will come - everyone has their own journey. I think your attitude to your step sis is a good one. Have to keep reminding myself that just getting pg (and having another child) will not be the answer to all of life's problems. Your step sis will still have issues to face in one way or another in her life even though she is successfully pg (and so will we all). Keep on being strong and wise as you are!

4ever, I'm sure your vicar will understand (and at least you'll have got your point across!) Politics? US elections, anyone?

mm, I hope you get that early night...

Don't you go starting that new thread without me! I am nowhere near ready to detach! x

So how many of us are ttc in the New Year, ie; seeing the New Year in with a bang?

Me! I'm another one tNtc an waiting until the new year...finding it so difficult to wait though, getting very impatient about it all. If I hadn't booked my (expensive) tickets to India, I think I would have ignored the docs advice and would be ttc next week!

Another spanner in the works for me is we are going through a major merger and thus restucture (again, the 4th in 4 years!)at work, so I may be out of a job come april 09, which doesnt help my plans in ttc in the new year. Hopefully it will all work out for me, cos I couldnt stand having to wait longer than the new year...

Re new thread, don't want to lose any of you lovely ladies in starting new thread. You will all have to join us...

VickyJane77 hope you're feeling better.
mm think I also need to get some "me" time...we should encourage each other
4everhopeful hello to you too..sending you lots of hugs
and hugs to any1 else I have missed

VickyJane, I will be ttc after next AF on 20 November! Am deliberately sitting here on the computer tonight in my efforts tNtc... may even resort to watching the US election results...

sabs, India will be terrific and you'll come back revived and ready to start, just you wait and see...

news at ten....
the missing af which was last seen on the 15th of september 08 has finally been returned to its grateful owner, mrs barbie wept with tears of relief when at 9pm gmt this evening the missing af was returned to its righful owner!
Statement from barbie read today by her press officer says: my client was like to express her deepest thanks to all of you who have got her through the dark days, she is extremely relieved to have her af back although slightly saddened at the same time, she has cried both tears of joy and of relief, she would now like some time with her chocolate lab who has been by her side throughout this time....

Well ladies it's here!!!!! well more just when i wipe but my stomach is so bloated, headache etc so i know hopefully buy tomorrow it will be in full flow! So vm do i count tomorrow as cd1??

mollie thanks so much for looking after me, i left work an hour early as i just couldnt cope, it felt like i had cotton wool inside my head, up my nose and in my ears! on top of that period pains etc so i pleaded to leave early and on the way felt sad because i had nobody to look after me.....until i turned on the laptop as i was running the bath and i saw you! I didnt see the af until i got home so had a little cry then laugh and then a lovely long hot bath...soup was yummy

vickyjane good luck on the diet, my shiney legging diet has just gone out of the window, craving chocolate so brought a m&s chocolate sponge!

vm lol at you trying not to get pregnant but still being a control freak, always a project hey?

mm you really should take time out for yourself, you have told me enough and look how i have ended up barbie blows her nose in self pity...now rest and relax that is a order

sabs after our chat i did wonder about a new thread, thinking about losing all the girls on here, nearly posted to say lets just all stay here, but then thought harder and maybe we do need a next step, somewhere we can progress too, i for one will never leave emmsys but maybe ill just be here to help the newbies much like emmsy herself. By the way ladies did you know this thread is famous on mn, in all the chat subjects we always get a mention how lovely we all are and its the place to come after a mc, so i think this thread should run forever! It might be a bit insensitive to any newbies all of us talking about bfp etc and our meet up so our new thread will be a stepping stone......

4ever hope your af arrives hun, we will be cycle buddies, im here to hold your hand if you need it....

Night night everyone, im off to bed with my hot water bottle as arranged by mollie xxxxxxx

Ladies, sorry I have been away - have just spent half an hour catching up with everyone by reading through all I had missed on this thread. DH is yelling from upstairs that its time to go to bed, so this will be short, but wanted to say hello to you all. AF arrived on Friday which was for me as was hoping to be pg, but have my first acupuncture appointment tomorrow so I'll let you know whether having someone stick pins in me helps at all! So much of what I have read tonight from you all strikes such a chord - it is like seeing my own emotions written by someone else. Proper responses tomorrow after acupuncture as DH will be on a boys night out. Hugs and cakes to you all til then xxx

Hey girls. Hope you don't mind me joining this lovely group. I wish there weren't so many of you going through this but it has really helped to read through your posts and know I'm not alone in this.

After a missed miscarriage which they found on my first scan, I'm going in for an ERPC tomorrow. Now I just feel so worried, and guilty for wanting it all to be over. But like a lot of you I plan to try again in New Year so hopefully will be a good time for us all!

I miss this baby so much though. Please tell me it will get better. I feel like my heart has been broken and I just don't know how to get over this

Hello curlywurlee sorry you've had to join us, but a big hug and a welcome to you. The ladies on here are lovely, and between us all we get through everyday, week, etc....I promise you it will get easier as time goes by, but in the meantime we are all here xxx

Curlywurlee, I'm so sorry you're going through this too. ((hugs))) It will get better, I promise. It doesn't feel like it now, but it will. Just do whatever you have to do to get through the next few days and weeks. Be gentle on yourself. The ERPC should give you a sense of closure on the physical side of things and then the process of healing can begin. You won't ever forget this baby, but your sense of hope will return. Much strength to you and come on here anytime when you need support. xxx

Curly Thank you so much for joining us and you are always very welcome.. I'm so sorry for the pain you are experiencing, your heart has been broken, and everything you feel is very natural. The rawness will eventually get better but we will all feel the sadness in our hearts forever.. We cant fix it on here but we can help you get through the days! Good luck & thinking of you today..

Barbie Yea! So glad she finally turned up for you! I'm with you sweetie! We are cycle buddies! Ouuuuuucccchhhh! AF turned up this morning not even full blown yet but already in pain. Really suffering with her now, never used too.. Not sure if will last the day at work.. Hopefully last one for 9 months remember saying that on here last month! Will be very actively ttc in 2 weeks today!

Vm did you stay up watching the election? A historic day indeed , people will say what were you doing on that day? and I shall say bent over in pain with AF, wishing she wasnt here! Might take the oppotunity to skulk off work early & watch all the coverage on tv!

Anyway, hello all other lovely emmsys angels! {{waves}} love hugs and kisses to all of you - I'm off to dose up on pain relief! xxxxxxxxx

i'm so jealous I want my af!!!!. but I think she's about a week and a half away yet.

barbie, that's so great! Yes, count today as cd1! Hope the aches and pains aren't too bad.

scamper, there's always this month... have heard great things about acupuncture and fertility. I had to laugh at your dh calling you for bed; mine did the same last night while I was still on the computer but my answer right now is NO, I am avoiding the zone of temptation! This trying not to conceive is a wearying business... roll on next cycle when we can...

Thinking about threads: when this thread approaches 999 posts we will have to start a new one in any case - how about restarting the angels thread (call it emmsysangels 2?) for newbies and those of us who still want to linger here, and maybe starting a ttc one at the same time for those who feel ready to move on? Personally I'd still drop into emmsysangels 2, like barbie. Just a thought... x

Hi everyone,

vm good idea about the joint threads, I also will still be calling in here but when we are all talking about ttc and bfp it might be a bit too raw for newbies, lots of chatting still to be done on all threads from all us lovely ladies.

barbie and 4ever good news about the arrival of AF, now you know your bodies are starting to get back to a normal cycle. Hope the pain isn't too bad, emotional and physical.

curlywurlee welcome and so sorry you have had to join us. You will find unlimited support from the lovely ladies on here just read back and you will see that you are not alone in what you are going thru, we are all here when you need us.

vicky not too long to wait for AF how much we just want our bodies back to normal for ttc.

scamper I was smiling when you said about 'reading your emotions written by someone else' this has happened many times for me, I think that is why this thread has really helped so many of us.

Felt really tired the last couple of days, tried to have an early night last night but wasn't too successful so going to go back to bed while dd is at school today. I think I have maybe been trying to do too much atm so starting to plan a chilling out weekend, there just always seems so much to get done between work and rl but going to take a step back.........promise. Have also been snapping at dh the last few days I just feel so frustrated atm and can't quite put my finger on why, been thinking I should give the mc counsellor another call. Anyway that's my rant for now, going back to bed.

Take care everyone mm xxx

4ever, I watched the elections till late and then charged downstairs again early this morning to get the news before waking ds up for school - what a great day this is. (What was I doing on this historic day? tNtc!) Seriously: I've seldom been so excited about a world event - and can't quite believe that my own lifetime has seen the fall of the Berlin Wall, the end of apartheid, and now this momentous moment too (well, plus the first man on the moon - was born three weeks later so that just about counts! I'm ancient I tell you!)

mm, hope you feel better soon! ((hugs))

vm you are most certainly not ancient, still a young fertile lady, and I am on my way to bed now!

mm, thanks, you always cheer me up about my (old wrinkly spotty) self! If it's any comfort I've been snapping at my dh too - for both you and me I suspect it's the frustration of not being able to get on with ttc yet, and maybe feeling we haven't moved on till that happens. But we will... go get some rest! (When will you be seeing your consultant again, BTW?)x

vm gave up trying to sleep, between the phone and postman I swear there is a conspiracy to stop me from getting some extra rest. Still waiting on the appointment to come in from the consultant, hopefully I should here something soon, btw I still have spots too.

mm, I know the feeling; I've now taken to turning the phone off if needs must because the damn thing won't stop ringing! Hope your appointment comes through soon... I have another scan on the 27th (because I terrified my consultant so much at the time of my mc that he's now being extra, extra careful with me) and really wish I didn't. Oh well. Serves me right. I have a whole fresh outbreak of ov spots, BTW! Yuk!!

vm sooooooo not ancient! Must stop with the self depricating my dear! Great day though isn't it? Wish my dad was here to see it! Expected a big party on the streets of south london but not quite happened! Braving out the AF pains on double dose anadin (co dydramol last month so improving!). Still at work, looking forward to catching up on news later!

mm Ahhhh hon, surely you could turn the phone off for a while? You sound like I felt the last few days, I think our hormones are still spinning, can't get back just like that, think of post natal, some women have that for up to a year later so don't give yourself a hard time.. Hopefully you'll get to chill this weekend. Take mollies advice for barbie! Lots of pamper/chill/me time is my prescription for you!