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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels xxx

993 replies

EisAHandbagaHolic · 15/09/2008 22:26

hi ladies
well i think its about time we had somewhere where we can all come to reflect on our lost angels and help us to move on towards the future and support eachother through the bumps in the road in the meantime
love and hugs to you all
{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}
xx ei xx

OP posts:
sausagemcgrah · 20/10/2008 20:31

How was the gym barbie?

barbie1 · 20/10/2008 20:44

Well girlies im finally back into gym mode, all be it a short return (50 mins!) i remembered that my programme had been removed last time i went as i was pregnant then. So tonight my key wasnt programmed so could only do a short cardio work out. I have bookeed for a new programme to be done with me on thursday, so i really have no excuses now
circularerainbow good for you , keeping up with the swimming, hopefully i can stick to the gym.......shiney legging...i must fit into shiney legging!

vickyjane and nannyn hope you are both holding up today, we are hear for you x

4ever im sending you (((hugs)))) i do hope that glimmer finds you again soon. at the silly doctors! bloody cheek asking you to have results over the phone. The doctors sound like a good option, i cant see why not??? As for your job its good that you are still online and dont worry your pretty little head about possible redundancy..one step at a time as the wise vm once told me!

mm thanks for thinking of me, really im so much better. I just hope your pain heals soon and im so glad you have been enjoying yourself with your family. Ps im not sure i want to go to glasgow if the weather really is that bad!!!

mollie any show yet??? i have had such bad period pain that i just know its coming...now if only i knew when?

villagemum took your advice and called for a gp appointment, but have to wait until thurs i think im in pain because of the cyst, all the pain is centred at the place the cyst is so im going to ask for a scan to see if its growing again.....as for ttc do whatever feels right. Im sure something will happen to make up your mind for you. Even though im trying to get to know my body i dont think im going down the route of charting or the pee stick thingys....im just going to see what happens and enjoy the bd!

hello to sausagemcgrah glad you are enjoying the best thread on mn!

Hi to mbm and everyone else that might be lurking xxx

mm1509 · 20/10/2008 21:16

Hi Barbie well done in getting yourself down to the gym, lol at the shiny leggings the only ones in this house are for dd and her dancing. When are you up in Glasgow? Hopefully you will get a dry day then, not too many of them around atm.

barbie1 · 20/10/2008 21:23

Ha ha shiny leggings! tacky but oh so in fashion dont you know i doubt ill ever really wear them but saw ones in size 8 and set myself the goal....i bet when i get to be a size 8 baggy pants will be back in! coming up the weekend of the 15th nov, my mum is coming to keep me company for a week and as she has family there we thought we could both do with a weekend away xxx

nannyn · 20/10/2008 21:26

Thanks for the advice circularrainbow and sausagemcgrah, called the ward where I had my op, cried down the phone and the sister took pity on me. Going for a scan on Wed and not taking the drugs!! See sometimes crying works

barbie1 · 20/10/2008 21:28

Way to go nannyn! just stay positive untill wed....

mm1509 · 20/10/2008 21:40

Barbie You'll have a good weekend with your mum, Glasgow is a really good city for a break, I'm not too far away btw.

Nannyn you go girl........not long till Wed and then you should have some answers.

barbie1 · 20/10/2008 21:55

mm i would love to meet up with you one day...im thinking that now i have family there i can just pop up whenever, the train is sooooo cheap

mm1509 · 20/10/2008 21:58

barbie would love to, give me a shout anytime you can make it and we can arrange, now you are making me smile.....and I am even at work.

barbie1 · 20/10/2008 22:00

its a date!!! oh why are you at work at this time of night???

mm1509 · 20/10/2008 22:06

I am back on nightshift so will see how I go tonight. Need to get off of these shifts but looking forward to our date.

barbie1 · 20/10/2008 22:09

Back to work you naughty girl!!!! Yep our date is making me smile too! night night x

mm1509 · 20/10/2008 22:11

sleep tight xxx

VillageMum · 20/10/2008 23:58

CircularRainbow, mm, barbie, sausagemc - thanks for all your support... really means a lot to me. DH and I had a long talk this evening and I'm coming round to the idea of waiting this cycle out, just to get my head together again! We reckon that waiting one more month to ttc won't make a huge difference biologically, my great age notwithstanding () but might well make a difference to my state of mind. After that, though, it'll be all systems go. SO... this month I'm going to try to reconnect with some of my work goals and get my old productive (as opposed to reproductive!) habits back. Generally just reassemble myself as a person again. That's the plan, anyway. Argh, 'the wise vm' (as barbie put it) is clearly barking mad!

barbie - well done for booking that GP's appointment; best to get it sorted! Thanks for the link - brought it all back, the thoughtlessness of some of the medical staff quoted there - all too familiar...

nannyn - really glad you're getting a scan so soon. As to your GP: I think you should print off barbie's link article and send him a copy!!

mm1509 · 21/10/2008 00:12

Hi vm glad to hear you sounding much more positive tonight and you are right one month won't make that much difference. Maybe focusing again on work will help take your mind off ttc, for the time being anyway. Just think of the fun you will have come next month. Anyway what are you doing still up don't you have a school run in the morning!!!!! Take care hun mm xxx

VillageMum · 21/10/2008 00:16

mm, yes, school run in 7 hours! Help!! Hope you get some rest soon too... thanks again so much for being there... xxx

mm1509 · 21/10/2008 00:17

Anytime hun, sweet dreams to you too xxx

lilacpink · 21/10/2008 00:37

Thanks for positive replies of support to my first thread - this thread is a savour when you can't sleep! I felt like I bounced back, and even thought I'll be fine, this is just one thing that happens in life to lots of people. Then my dd asked me if I had a baby in my tummy, made me feel so sad that she has seen so many other pregnant mummys around, and maybe picked bits out of conversations, to think of it. Then I saw Chrismas decorations and remembered again how I had looked forward to telling people before Christmas (when I thought I would def be in 'safe' zone). Then my dd was cuddling her baby toys tonight and I thought "you'll love a brother or sister", and that has had me crying for hours now:but this thread has made me laugh and cry so feel calmer again!

I have a dilema and wanted to ask opinions: I want to confide in my best friend about what's happened, but my she's getting married this Summer, I'm a Bridesmaid, but hadn't got a dress and had planned to say before as thought it wouldn't work (given I wouldn't know size). I can now be a BM and not say anything, bearing in mind I don't want her to feel any negativity around her special time. Yet she also has reasons that she may have infertility, and has shared all with me, so I'm thinking I should tell her, but then enjoy the celebrations too (i.e. not show too much pain as she has waited awhile to find 'mr right' and I'm really happy for her as she never thought it would happen to her). Or, I could wait until after her special day, as I have other friends I see more regularly and a close family who do know and have been supportive. Other issue is I'm going through the same 'want to be pregnant now/want to wait' emotions. I know dh would prob say to wait well into next year (or even next...), but I would still rather be pregnant, and not be Bridesmaid, but then wonder how my friend would feel if I knowingly got pregnant before her wedding. My Mum suggested I ask not to be a BM, but a member of her family has already done this and she was heartbroken. Anyone have advice? (BTW, I hope this doesn't sound really negative, I was really happy to be asked to be a bridesmaid for my friend, and may well not have the chance again, but the thought of waiting months makes me feel worse...).

mm1509 · 21/10/2008 01:20

Hi lilac it is a difficult one. I know if my best friend was going thru mc I would want to know and be there for her, on the other hand it is so easy to get caught up and totally stressed about wedding preparations. It is hard to advise when I don't know her in person but if she has shared her possible fertility problems with you then I am guessing she would be pretty understanding. If she is a true friend then she will understand your feelings on this, anyway who says bm can't have a bump (in fact many brides do).

nannyn · 21/10/2008 07:29

lilacpink just a pratical thought, go ahead and be a bridesmaid. Tell your friend whats been happening, she'll be there for you if she's a true friend.
If/when you fall pg you will be able to get the dress altered, my bf was my bridesmaid she put on 2/3 dress sizes due to broken wrist & ankle. They put a panel in the back and corset type back. She looked fab! Having something else to focus on might help xx

VillageMum · 21/10/2008 09:28

Hi lilacpink, having just been through a similar stressfest about pg timing and a summer wedding next year, I'd say, tell your friend what's happened. Sounds as if she'll be totally supportive and understanding (what woman wouldn't be?) She'll probably say that she wants you to be a bridesmaid anyway. Then just do what feels right. If you want to get pg before her wedding, then that's your choice and your dh's and no one else's - you can't put your life on hold for a wedding or a dress (and as nannyn says, the dress can be adjusted!) If you want to delay ttc for other reasons, good for you, but don't make this the main one; it's really not important enough!
(I'll be trying to apply all of the above in my own life this month too! )

How old is your dd? My ds is seven, and one of the hardest aspects of my mc was having to break the news to him as he'd already bonded with the baby. One of the worst days for me came not long after the mc, when we bumped into a heavily pregnant acquaintance of mine in town. Ds couldn't stop looking at her tummy. Then, as we walked away after saying goodbye, he hit me and said angrily, 'That should have been you'. I realised then just how much it had affected him. These moments, on top of everything else, can be awful.
But there will be a next time for us, don't you worry! x

VickyJane77 · 21/10/2008 09:53

Hello, after my post on Sunday I ended up in hospital, I'm now home and taking it easy. The hospital said they won't do anything until I've had a third miscarriage, which I thought they would say, but no harm in asking!
We've decided to wait until after Christmas before ttc agian, but I do feel very negative about it, in that I am only doing it for it to fail agian, which I know is terrible. Perhaps it is too early days for me to be thinking about it, and I will feel more positve in a few weeks or so.
Hi Lilac, I know what you mean about Christmas, that was when I was looking forward to telling everyone too.
I don't feel as depressed this time round, which is good, I think it's because I hadn't allowed myself to get too excited about it. It's still heartbreaking though.

VillageMum · 21/10/2008 10:22

VickyJane - you may never have a third mc, only a third pg with a baby at the end of it. That's possible too... So sorry to hear you've been in hospital. Hope you're taking it very easy! ((hugs))

mm1509 · 21/10/2008 13:40

Hi vickyjane sorry to hear that you ended up in hospital, hope you are feeling a little better now. As hard as it is try not to obsess about going on to have a third mc, the reason they carry out investigations after the third is because many, many women who have had two mc go on to have a healthy baby third time round, statistics are still very much in your favour. Hold on to that thought.

vm Hope you are feeling better today after your talk with dh, you will feel that a weight has been lifted after all your worry yesterday, at times the more we think the more we worry...........I know that so well.

VickyJane77 · 21/10/2008 13:58

I have read a lot about baby aspirin, what is this supposed to do?