emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels xxx

[EisAHandbagaHolic]

hi ladies
well i think its about time we had somewhere where we can all come to reflect on our lost angels and help us to move on towards the future and support eachother through the bumps in the road in the meantime
love and hugs to you all
{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}
xx ei xx

vicky hello and a sad welcome to you. Glad you found the strength to finally post, first step on the road to recovery. We are all here to hold your hand to help you through until you are ready ttc again, and beyond that if you want us!

Hello again Thank you to Barbie1, Sausagemcgrah and CircularRainbow it has helped to find someone who understands rather than offering really unhelpful pearls of wisdom, 'at least you know you can get pregnant' being the current fav!! Why??? I've read further back through the thread, so many things that I've been thinking and felling.
The link is a good one, all information helps. Stops me thinking I'm loosing my marbles
My hubby is working and living away,(took the job as we thought it would be a great place to raise kids!!) so when this is all over trying again will be a nightmare.
I used BBT charts on www.pregnancy.org to help get pg in 1st place, don't know if anyone else tried it? Thanks for making me smile

nannyn my hubby works away too, so no chance of ttc....well until jan anyway! where is you dh? glad we made you smile, stay here and hopefully we can all smile together in the next few months xxx

nannyn, hello - that link barbie gave you is a brilliant one and explains everything - but yes, it is normal to bleed for up to 2 weeks after an evacuation, as long as the bleeding isn't excessive and you're not running a temp or having a smelly discharge (= possible infection). You're on antibiotics so you should be covered against infection for now, but make a fuss if any of the above occur at any point! And DO get yourself referred for a follow-up scan in roughly a week's time so that they can confirm that your womb is clear. I had two ERPCs, the first for mmc and the second for retained tissue (I also had an infection) - the follow-up scan at the end was hugely reassuring as after nearly a month of bleeding and medication I felt I then had closure at last. Best of luck and let us know how you go.

CircularRainbow - Again didn't make it to the pool... had a few hours to myself today and spent them asleep (all that charting is wearing me out! )

VickyJane77 - I'm so very sorry to hear that this has hapened to you again... come on here any time, the ladies are wonderful. Thinking of you. xx

Hi & welcome to vicky and nan - sounds like a very rough and unfair time you've been through.. you will get the support you need through these girls..

vm barbie mm mollie monkey hope you are all doing well and had nice weekends...

barbie I've lost my glimmer.. Its so frustrating, hoping to find out if can get our results sooner than nov 13th today, after bitch secretary saga, the manager of womens services is liaising with our specialist, she called this morning & said we cant see specialist til nov 13th still, but can get results from one of his team of docs (which is what we wanted) but she said they would call me and tell me over the phone.. Now please one of you tell me if I'm being difficult or picky here? But I want to hear the news with DH at the hosp, not over the phone while we're not together, sitting at work! This is all turning into a bit of a farce! My main worry is what if I get pregnant in between? I'm ovulating on weds, and if I have something wrong that I need treatment for, but don't have it cos we dont know yet, I could risk losing baby no 4... It was left, as me speaking to DH and getting back to them, DH suggested if we cant go hosp, then maybe they could send results to GP and we can go there together..?
I've left a message with her seeing if we can.. Why is this all so bloody complicated! I feel like I'm being left dangling on a string... Grrrrrr

The bonus is I'm still on the internet here at work! Taking a risk using it with things the way they are but had to post.. Another string dangling is whether I'll still have a job this time next year, been here 12 years but potential redundancy across my dept is imminent so yet another uncertainity in my already troubled and uncertain life!

Hi girls I am back. Sorry it has taken so long for a proper post but I just haven't had enough time, I have been having a quick lurk here and there but I feel as if we haven't chatted for AGES, have missed you all so much. Have kind of struggled physically since the ERPC on Thur, I think I just tried to do too much and then paid the price later, cramps and backpain, I am feeling better today but back at work tonight, nightshift arghh. I don't want to take anymore time off so am going to give work a try tonight and see how I get on, if I am struggling with it then I will come home but hopefully I will be fine, need to get back to normal now. We have family over from the states atm so we spent Sat night staying with them and got back last night, found out that bucketloads of wine helps with the cramp, so had a really good time.

barbie how are you doing hun, sorry I haven't been here for chats but will make sure I am available more from now on, thinking of you.

4ever sounds like you really need a break atm, how hard can it be for some help from the so called professionals now and again, all you are looking for are the answers that they have to be communicated to you and dh. Hopefully they will agree for your GP to give you the results, fingers crossed for you.

villagemum wow you sound like you have really worked out your body cycle, dedication and it will pay off. You have got me wondering when we will have out BFP on here. Getting the virtual champers on ice.

circularrainbow well done you on getting back swimming, you are right the endorphin fix will so help you stay nice and positive. Hopefully within the next couple of weeks I can feel up to joining you.

mollie fingers crossed that af makes an appearance soon for you but like you say it is always when you least expect her.

sausagemcgrah good to see you back and glad you feel up to chatting now, sounds like a step in the right direction.

mbm Glad you got some answers but it now must be hard digesting them with dh away. I don't know much about pmp but hope you get some answers to the next lot of questions you know have.

Welcome to the newbies vickyjane77 and nannyn, sorry you have had to join us but a big welcome to the thread, it is such a big help as I am sure you have found out already, I dread to think how I would be coping without all my fantastic chat buddies. Take care everyone mm xxx.

4ever, it's completely natural to want to hear your results with dh present, and not over the phone, alone! Hold out for what you need...

mm - great to hear you sounding well! Sorry about the aches and pains!
Don't hold your breath for a BFP in my case - to be honest, in spite of all the charting, I veer from wanting to be pg again straight away to extreme dread. Half hope it doesn't happen too soon, without wanting to go so far as to prevent it... I guess it's good to know that my cycle seems to be getting itself back on track; if only the emotions could be too!

barbie, how are you doing? Are you feeling OK, and how's that pulsation in your abdomen?

And hello to everyone else!! ((waves))

villagemum I know what you mean about swinging between wanting to be pregnant again and waiting. We have both made the decision to wait about 6 months before TTC but there is the constant niggle that you want to be pregnant. If I am honest I don't feel positive about any future pregnancy atm and this stops me thinking of TTC until after we see the obstetrician, still I'll keep the champers on ice there will be good news even if we are not the first. Hope you are doing well today.

Thanks mm - TBH I'm actually feeling quite down about it all. Ever since my mmc I've been on a 'we'll be ttc at once after first AF' autopilot, and now that the AF is here, it's a reality - and I think: hang on, do I really want this so soon? Am I really not ready yet, or is that just the fear of having another mc speaking? Mind you, irrational fear of another mc might be a sign that I'm not ready yet... Oh dear. I also feel that I haven't managed to get myself together again on some level after the mc; I was hard at work on various projects when I unexpectedly got pg, and since the mc all I've been able to think about is getting pg again and not about my working life at all, which can't be healthy. Have to talk this one through with DH... am actually quite weepy just writing this! Thanks for being there as always. x

vm from my chain of thought what you are feeling is extremely rational. I have always been scared that this would take over but it is so hard to stop it. I agree with you about not thinking about work again, I am sitting trying to get my head into work mode and there is no enthusiasm at all. Maybe you should take some time out to see how you feel. Question do you aim for a milestone (af for instance) only to find when you get there you don't feel like you thought you would, I feel that is how I am getting thru days atm, next milestone for me consultant appointment. If you still want to chat be back in about 25 mins, school run calling.

mm, thanks for being there! School run calling here too and then library for overdue books (!) but I'll be back later...

To spill all: I'm also getting myself in a knot about the projected due date for a sprog conceived this cycle, as the birth would fall around the time of a fairly stressful event - my ex husband is getting remarried in what would be the very same week next year, and my ds will be expected to go to the wedding, which will be up north - some issues around that as he's not always keen to stay overnight with dad. So I think: would I really want to cope with all of that plus giving birth in the same week (assuming, of course, that this baby arrived on the due date?!) On the other hand, should I put ttc again on hold this cycle because of it? (or am I actually looking for excuses not to ttc?!) Aaaargh, I think I am driving myself nuts! Maybe I do need time out...

vm - I'm back and soaked oh I hate scottish winters, and it not technically even winter yet. I was where you are with my first mc, worked out my due date would have been within a couple of days of dd starting school so many reasons for not ttc that month mainly wanting to see dd on her first day and too many changes at the one time for dd, never the less even though we went out of our way not to conceive we still did. I actually thought it was just meant to be but now in hindsight I guess not. So I understand how you are feeling in that respect but that was my first mc so I didn't have any of the extra fears you are having. Maybe you are looking for reasons not to ttc atm, but tbh there is no perfect date to have a baby you kind of just need to go for it but only if you are ready emotionally. When you really think it is such a brave decision to ttc again after any mc and all the emotional baggage that goes with it but on the other hand you want so much to be pregnant again, god it is so complicated. In our case dh has pretty much made the decision for us this time and it is actually a bit of a weight off my mind, it has been such a rollercoaster over the last 10 months that we need that break so much although on the other hand I get the feeling when we ttc again will be lead by the obstetrician more than us. The subject of mc and ttc afterwards is such a contradiction of emotions for us that only people who have been through it can understand, talking between us stops us from thinking we are going mad, so keep chatting girls. Hope this helps vm but trust me you are not alone on this one.

mm and villagemum - I can empathise with the mixed emotions with regards to ttc again because I also feel ambivalent about ttc, however, as my af is AWOL the reality of ttc is not yet real. Overall though, my thinking now is that too much thinking is bad!! I guess it may be different for those ladies who are 'young' (i.e. under 35yrs!) but for those of us with slightly more vintage (coughs), then carpe diem!!??

I had my steam room and swim this morning and I realised that it is my therapy - it really invigorates me! I will be heading back again tomorrow morning after the kids are safely at school/nursery! It won't be as easy next week with it being half-term, so I need to get as much therapy in as possible whilst I can!!!

Hope everyone else is OK.

Hi there cicularrainbow you are so, so right we do think too much and where does it get us? The trouble or trick is how to switch it off, I feel as if my mind goes constantly atm. Well done to you again back swimming, I will get going when I am physically a little better but keep posting to embarrass us all into getting up of our backsides and letting those endorphins lift the mood. Just seen the new halloween smillies .

The thing is, you can prepare for a pg by taking folic acid, vitamins, iron and by eating a good diet, but after conception, it's pretty much down to nature. Scans and check-ups will be certainly reassuring but they won't alter the outcome. SO! personally speaking, given my unfortunate experience of m/c, I think I have no alternative but to embark on ttc/pg with a counter-intuitive attitude; i.e. by not worrying too much and by not being too fearful. Of course, there's no such thing as a stressfree pg but I think having a m/c has made me more relaxed about a next pg. What will be, will be!

Great attitude just wish I could do the same but I know myself too well. I do think exercise is the great stress buster and that alone will put you in a better frame of mind I just cannot see myself enjoying any part of pregnancy again especially the first 12 weeks. Then again as dh always says what for you and all that.....

hello all barbie is off to the gym ...............

barbie - fab; bet you'll enjoy it and feel great afterwards!

Hi everyone,
I've just been reading back through the latest messages. You're all such a lovely bunch on here. The friendliest and most suppotive thread I've ever encountered.

Barbie - the gym! I'm very impressed! Can you work out for me too please. I'll sit here and fuel us both with some nice biscuits, keep the energy levels up.

circularrainbow, I thik you have exactly the right attitude about what will be will be, and being relaxed when pregnant again. I ope I would be able to be like this. I was so relaxed the first time, and now worry that I would be a nervous wreck next time. I think the only way to survive would be to give in and relax. Like mm says though, how to relax is the question!

villagemum, I know what you mean about feeling scared about ttc. I think it's easier right now, not knowing where I am in my cycle and if it's even possible anyway. If it happens it happens. I think I will be a bit of a mess when AF comes and I know there's a real chance of being pregnant and everything this entails.

Hi all, another question. has anyone been given Primolut N hormone tablets to stop the bleeding after a ERPC??
Went to see the o so helpful GP today and came out with 3 weeks worth and no referal for a scan. His exact words were 'Should do it, if I'm wrong you'll have to have another scrape out!!!!'
Still in shock after that one, can't find any info about using these after a ERPC. Don't know if to take them or get a second opinion. As far as I can tell it will give me a false period after I stop them which will make it another month before we can try again. AArrgg think I'm loosing my mind, help!!

I had an emergency D&C and was given one dose of antibiotics after the op (so the registrar informed me the next morning) but was not given any to take home, I was just given a box of pain killers (which I didn't use because they didn't touch my headaches - I used my regular brand instead!). If you feel unsure about taking these tablets, then you could call either the Miscarriage Association for advice or try the gynae ward at your local hospital (where your op was carried out)?

nannyn, I'd second circularrainbow's advice and ring the miscarriage association. I was given some antibiotics (7 days worth) after medical management, but was a bit naughty and stopped taking them after a couple of days as didn't want anything unnecessary in my system. I'm no expert though, but the bleeding must be happening for a reason - i.e not all out? (Sorry - I didn't know how to word this better?) In which case will tablets stop it anyway? I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. You'll get through this.

Im back...has everyone read this --www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article4964678.ece

i dont think the link is working ill try again....
www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article4964678.ece