emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels xxx

[EisAHandbagaHolic]

hi ladies
well i think its about time we had somewhere where we can all come to reflect on our lost angels and help us to move on towards the future and support eachother through the bumps in the road in the meantime
love and hugs to you all
{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}
xx ei xx

Hi, well im glad you have posted mm, hope the soreness goes away soon...hope you had a good day with dd, not too much cake i hope
Thanks vm and mm on the comments re pictures, it really was such a good day!
I have been doing so well today, really still thinking positive so all is good here, well apart from a massive spider in the bathroom, i bloody hate/ scared of them...good job i have another two bathrooms to use um on second thoughts i have only one bath though and its the one where the spider is on patrol!
vm when was your eprc again??? im so sure my period is up there (so to speak!) i have had such bad pains today and its 32 days since my op??? mm is right, i have never wished an af to arrive before

barbie waves to everyone xxx

Oh nearly forgot mm i will be visiting your neck of the woods in a few weekends time!!!

mm, lovely to hear that you're up and about and celebrating birthdays! Have a great weekend with dd! xx

barbie, my ERPC was on 11 September (I had that second one on 23 September for retained tissue, but that's by the by as I was told that my hormone cycle would have started kicking in again after the first one). I guess I'm a bit obsessive about knowing what's going on inside so I actually began a BBT chart on the day of the ERPC, counting it as cd1. I tested myself with a home preg test on the 14th and still got a +ve result. I tested again on the 17th and got a -ve. So I knew that the hormone chain would start firing up again only around then (your body waits till the hcg levels in your blood has dropped to almost zero before this happens). I ovulated on cd 25 (was testing with OPKs and had a BBT temp rise on chart), whereas cd17 would have been normal for me in the past (though counting from the day my hpt tested -ve that would be about 17 days). I'm now 12 days post ovulation so should be starting AF tomorrow or Sunday, or maybe Monday at a push (my luteal phase used to be 13 days, not sure if it's the same now!) Have all the old premenstrual symptoms: cramps, puffiness, etc. Oh dear, all this testing and charting makes me sound like some sort of mad scientist!

If you're 32 days since your op now then your AF could well be due - I've read that it can take about six weeks, though, or even longer, and that it's also normal for this first post-mc AF to stop and start, the way yours seems to have done! I wouldn't worry, but I'd say if you're still in pain by Monday and not bleeding yet, then have it checked out - you want to rule out a low-lying infection. x

vm laughing at the image of you i have in my head of a wacky scientist, surrounded by bubbling potions and jars full of body parts

barbie - yes, and don't forget the white coat and thermometers!!

Or the sticky out white hair, bald on top!!! he he maybe even thick rimmed black goggles!!

hey i have a question! has anyone had the sensation of pulsating in the lower abdomen?? i have had it for about 2 weeks now, always in same place on left hand side...ignored it until now but its started again and i cant ignore it any longer!

Morning!

I do apologise for not being on here more often, but things are rather chaotic here at the mo... I will endeavour to come on more often .

Barbie So sorry for you that your hubby has gone away till Jan, must be very difficult. By the way, he is GORGEOUS you lucky thing! Mind you, so are you! Loved the photies! Hope the time passes quickly for you. Btw, maybe visit this site for ov tests etc. Their current discount code is 'thankyou' - not sure how long it's valid for though...
Just read your last post from y'day - ooohhh weird re pulsating. Haven't a clue what it is, but maybe you should get it checked out. Good luck x

lilacpink So sorry you've had to join us, but welcome ... It's awful when you suddenly remember about your baby isn't it. My last mc was at the beg of September, and even last week when ds kicked me in the tummy while I was changing him my first thought was the baby . It takes a while for it to sink in.

vm you're so funny . What's 'light dusting'? Maybe it's just me, and maybe I'm going delirious from lack of sleep (ds woke v early) but it made me giggle . Has AF arrived yet?

mm Glad ERPC went okay, but you make sure you take it easy... Happy Birthday to dd for yesterday, hope she had a lovely day .

Well, I went to get my results yesterday, armed with a sheet of questions (thanks again vm ). Was expecting her to say there was no explanation, so was going to bombard her for information. As soon as I sat down she told me that I'd had a partial molar pregnancy, which apparently is when two sperm fertilise one egg, so the resulting baby has 69 chromosomes, rather than the normal 46. It would never have survived outside the womb. Also, I had a tumour on my placenta (is part of the partial molar pg) which made the rest of placenta overactive, so it was producing more HCG than normal, which is why I was so very sick. My gynae was a bit rubbish and didn't really explain much - she also said we could start trying again straight away. Have since read on the net that it's advised to wait 6 months at least after a PMP as if any of the cells remain from the tumour it can cause problems next time round. Also, apparently they do monitoring in the UK every month to check things are going back to normal, but my gynae never mentioned anything like this. S'pose is different over here... Anybody know anything about PMP's? I'd heard of them before y'day, but didn't have a clue what they were.

I feel a bit better emotionally because now we have a real reason, and it wasn't my fault. But I can't help think of what could have been - there is a little voice at the back of mind that's saying that rather than having lost just one baby, I've lost two - PMP's are what happens when otherwise twins would be made. Can't allow myself to think like that though can I... Is also driving me mad that I can't speak to dh about it - he is up a mountain somewhere in Nepal and is out of contact till at least the middle of next week .

Hello to everybody I haven't mentioned, hope you're all okay and that you have a good weekend. A big hello also to the newbies, sorry I haven't been able to reply to you all individually, but I'm thinking of you x

mm - good to hear the op went well and I'm guessing your dd's birthday was a great tonic to take your mind off things.

Well, this afternoon I got back on the old horse and had my first post-m/c swim! I prefixed it with a steam room and then managed about 20mins in the pool. It was enough and I felt fine throughout. We're members of a hotel leisure centre so it was very quiet. I will endeavour to return tomorrow...I have to say, I feel human again. The one thing I found really tough was not being able to swim for 6 pesky weeks after giving birth - it was torture not being able to go and I can remember the wait vividly!

Hope you're all OK today, can't believe it's the weekend again.

barbie, hi - the mad scientist says please see your GP on Monday about that pulsation in your abdomen - that plus pain does not sound good. OK? If it's nothing then you can tell me off for making you waste your time... but you need to rule out an infection. x

monkeybumsmum - so great that you have been given a comprehensive explanantion for what went wrong, especially since statistically this sort of problem is so unlikely to happen again - I read somewhere once that it's only a 1 in 100 chance. I also remember something about having to wait for a while (six months to a year?) after a PMP so that your hcg levels can be checked regularly. Will you be seeing someone as further follow-up in the next few months? I'd ask again if it's not automatically offered. Here are two previous mumsnet threads about molar pgs which might be a help:

thread about molar pregnancy

second thread about molar pregnancy

'Light dusting' is when I flick available surfaces around the house with a handkerchief in order to avoid the swimming pool/ my work/ Tesco's.

CircularRainbow - aaaargh! You've beaten me to the pool! I WILL go tomorrow!

AF arrived this morning as expected... Have started a new BBT chart and cracked open a few more thermometers to celebrate...

Hi girls, sorry I haven't been posting much the last couple of days but been caught up in some family stuff, all good. Been missing you guys but will catch up in the next couple of days, promise. Hope you are all having a good weekend. mm xxx

Hello everybody......

I have had such a hectic day at work, cant believe people are out xmas shopping already, it isnt even november yet! Strange to come home to a house with out dh being here...just the chocolate lab who has such terrible wind this evening...yuk!

mbm thanks for the link i will look into this evening. I Have no idea about pmp's but i hope you find the answers you need. didnt realise that your dp didnt go to your appointment with you, hope you had somebody with you to support you. Im glad you have some answers at least and hopefully once you find out what to do next you will be fine

mollie hi hun hope you are still lurking has af showed yet???

mm hopefully you are still enjoying your weekend and are finally feeling better now everything has been resolved for you

circularrainbow clapping my hands for you!!! good to hear you are back in the pool....my new fitness routine starts monday, now if only i could find my trainers

4ever i hope you are doing ok, i have finally found that glimmer you were on about and its getting brighter each day...i hope you can see it too?

vm no af still, period pains much like you would expect pre bleed. Pulsating is on and off.....notice it more when i am sat still or relaxed. However i will still book an appointment to get it checked next week. Cracking news at your af, i wish i had your knowledge and knew my body better least i have the next few months to try!

my doggie is stinking!!!!

mm, great to hear that all's good - you've clearly been living real life, rather than mumsnet life - way to go! x

barbie - you'll soon be an old pro! (Oh dear, that doesn't sound right! )

Goodnight all... [yawning icon]

VM Hurray your AF is here, now you can get on with your charting If your this organised with charts god help your DH hope he knows what he's in for
mm Glad to see you are being distracted, it will do you good. Hope you are feeling OK in yourself
Barbie How are you doing honey? How has the first week been? Hope you survived the farting dog
Monkeysbum I'm so pleased you got some answers from your appt, I can see totally empahise with your line of thinking about the twins, it's only natural to torture yourself, it's what we women do. Hope DH is home for you soon x
CircularRainbow Well done you for getting back into your routine, I love swimming but I need to lose about 10 stone before I'll put on a cossie again, also the changing rooms smell like poo!

Well still no sign of af getting really p*ssed off with it now, just want it to come so I can draw a line under the whole awful experience No usual signs, the sore (.)(.) I was getting have eased, CM has increased but then died off and now I've got an upset tummy and have been up half the night on the loo Oh well, I'm sure she'll come just when I least expect it

mollie laughing at changing rooms smelling of poo! the gym ones smell like muddy football boots...yuk! but then anything is better than a farting dog

an my af too? where the hell is she??? the 2 days of spotting happened 9 days ago now...i keep thinking my boobies are a little tender too but then maybe its wishful thinking i hope you trips to the loo has eased of now.

barbie waves to everyone as she gets reading to walk the farting dog...pooh wee!

Mollie, hahahaha, so far I've tried not to burden DH too much with the details of my battle plan. Probably wishful thinking after all these years together; he knows I am totally obsessive! - or not? He was woken again on Friday morning by the sound of my BBT thermometer beeping and finally said, (poor dear), 'what's that noise I keep hearing in the mornings now? Do you have a new alarm clock?' No, honey, I am launching Operation Conception and have been at it for the last month!! Wakey wakey...

Hi, not sure if this is the right place for this but looking for some advice/assurance.
Went to the epu at 9 weeks as I was having some spotting. There was no heart beat and they said it had probably stopped a few weeks earlier.
I opted for medical management as I'm needle phobic, it was the most traumatic experiance of my life. I realise it's not the same for everybody but the speed and volume of passing the 'product' (what an awful term) was unbelievable. After 10 days I was still bleeding, they re-scanned me and there was still some material there.
They gave me more tablets and sent me away, I knew after 4 days it wasn't working but they can't do anything until 10 days.
I got scanned again and the material was still all there.
They then booked me in for a ERPC, it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. the only problem is 8 days later I'm still bleeding. I'm on anti-biotics for a bladder infection and I've tried phoning the epu to get re-scanned but they won't do anything unless I'm refered.
Sorry this is such a long message but this is a seemingly endless experiance. I just need it to be over so I can move on. I've been through the angry and greaving stages, I still have weepy moments, I just want to know if any of this is normal??
Has anyone else had a mc last over a month? Thanks for taking the time to read, sorry for your loss too.

nannyn welcome to this wonderful thread sorry for your loss what you are experiencing is sadly very normal. May i suggest if you have the time to read back over this thread (it might even might you giggle at times!) Nearly all of us on here have had mc within the last 2 months mm post might be helpful to you as she has been through a tough time herself with infection etc etc. Im here all day and all night (totally addicted ) so post again if you want anymore help, sending you ((((( hugs ))))))) to help you through this time xxx

Hi everyone,

It's been a while since my first (rather brief) appearance! I feel more ready to chat now I think.

So, so sorry to hear about your awful experience nannyn, I really feel for you. My missed miscarriage happened 2 weeks ago, and I am slowly recovering from the shock and trauma of it all. It's going to take a long time though I think, as just when it's going well something small and silly will reduce me to a blubbering mess again. I can't help with your other question though as luckily medical management worked successfully for me. I hope you manage to get another scan though.

I have a question... When did you all get your periods back after miscarriage (If they have returned yet! I have read through the thread and can see that some are MIA). Do you think it is any different when they return after a missed miscarriage and other types, or the type of procedure you have for a missed miscarriage (natural / medical intervention / surgical) Hope this makes sense. I really want to try to start looking forward again, but it's difficult when I guess my period might not return for months!

sausagemcgrah welcome back hun I had my op 35 days ago now and still no af..I have been reading up about it . After mc with no medical intervention it is normal for af to return after 28 days but can be up to 6 weeks later. After medical help is isn't abnormal not to bleed for up to 12 weeks. However according to some medical pages i have been looking at most will recommend a trip to the doctors if you haven't had af by week 10 after mc. Hope this helps....vm tends to be the best at all the medical stuff Ill try to find you the link so you can read it for yourself and hopefully it will make more sense.....

www.pregnancyloss.info/waitingforaf.htm hope this works, its the first time at posting a link!!!

Hi barbie1, thanks for that link. I'll check it out. It's going to be quite frustrating not knowing when af is due, and wondering if I might be pregnant again. Hmmmmmm. I am a POAS addict at the best of times - I'll be terrible if there's no'late' period to be a guide to when I should test. I'll need shares in pregnancy tests! And I'll drive DH mad! I wonder if my af will come earlier as I didn't have the whole medical intervention thing as things happened very early. It was more half naturl half medical. Confusing. Wish I could see into the future; then I might relax a bit! Are you TTC agin barbie1? Sorry - should read back through threads again but have the memory of a fish.

would love to ttc again but hubby left for work abroad for three months just two days ago, hence being on here 24/7...its the only company i have since moving 400 plus miles from my family...
I have done two tests so far this month was hoping to fall again but with spotting happening last week im not sure what the hell is going on??? get yourself down to the £ shop, one friend advised to get the dip test ones as her dad is a doctor and recommends them 2 for a £!!! bargin! i will use then until i really think there is a good chance and then ill move on to the digital. However i wont cant try until end of jan!

nannyn - sorry for your loss and welcome to this thread. Your experience sounds horrendous, I'm not surprised you want to move on. I hope it will be over for you soon so that you can start to heal properly. I had a mmc just over a week ago and had an emergency D&P due to excessive blood loss. And if I'm ever unfortunate enough to experience a m/c again, then I will opt for a D&C immediately. I would never ever want to experience blood loss like that again.

sausagemcgrah - with respect to af returning after a m/c, I would imagine everyone is slightly different. I was told af would return between 2 and 6wks but who knows?! I guess you could use ovulation sticks to get some idea of what's happening within? It does feel odd though, not knowing where you are in your cycle....atm, I feel as though my body is wondering what to do next...

villagemum - you are very dedicated to chart when it means being woken up early every morning! I'm sure your efforts will pay off in due course...and at least you have af now so you know whereabouts you are in your cycle - unlike the rest of us!!!!

Well I was back in the steam room and pool this morning and it was great. The steam room was very hot and I cooked myself thoroughly before having a swim. I'll be back tomorrow morning too for another endorphin fix .

Hello, I'd popped onto this thread a few times after my MC in June but never posted. I found out I was pg at the end of September, but sadly lost my baby. I can't belive it has happened again, I feel so let down, but I don't know by what. It doesn't help with having 2 sisters pg at the same time.
I've decided to give myself a break now before ttc again, it's just too hard at the moment.