emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels xxx

[EisAHandbagaHolic]

hi ladies
well i think its about time we had somewhere where we can all come to reflect on our lost angels and help us to move on towards the future and support eachother through the bumps in the road in the meantime
love and hugs to you all
{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}
xx ei xx

anyone???

barbie - I'm here. First just take a deep breath and enjoy this last hour with dh, OK? One step at a time! It will be OK! Come on over and chat after that... you will get through all of this, I promise. xxxx

Hello again everyone and welcome *lilacpink - hope today will be a little but easier for you; taking one day at a time is a good idea atm plus concentrating on getting well again. Hopefully, you'll have family and friends around - take any offers of help that you can get.

mm - I hope the op went smoothly today and that you can finally start to heal, it's been a very long process for you but hopefully the worst is over now.

barbie - that's rough about your dh going away - will he back at Christmas for a visit? Can you talk on the phone/email very often?

villagemum - maybe it's as wise to leave your filling in place - if it's not broke, don't fix it!! I have fillings too but I've never given them a second thought!! I don't think I would willingly subject myself to dental treatment so you must've had good reasons to explore this option!!

Well, I feel OK, still get the odd headache but I reckon it's because my hormones are all over the place. My bleeding has 98% stopped, just the odd trace left which is annoying because I want to go swimming!!! I will wait until 24hrs+ of no bleeding passes before risking it though (I go swimming when I have af so I'm not sure if the risk is any greater). I'm hoping to manage a trip to the pool this weekend...so fingers crossed!!!

I did some retail therapy this morning and bought a new coat plus some other bits and pieces. There's nothing like spending money to make yourself feel better!

im back! hubby has gone now and after wailing like the women in the far east after a major disaster i feel so much better...i think a chocolate muffin might help even futher!
It was good to cry, so much pain coming out after the past few months and it helped that i didnt have to hide it from anyone, to much pressure at putting on a brave face had finally taken its toll...so hopefully more positive post from me in the future, thanks for putting up with me the past few weeks though!

villagemum step away from the dentist! i agree if its not needed why would you put yourself through the torment (yes i hate the dentist!)

mm even though my post have been all me me me i have in fact been thinking about you today, i do hope you are ok.

circularrainbow glad the bleeding is easing up, fingers crossed for your swim at the weekend. ps, no chance of seeing hubby as he will be mid channel crossing somewhere...depending on vessel he should be able to email on a regular bases and maybe even the odd call

barbie waves to everyone!

Im going to chill out for the next few days and then come monday its gym time, i want to fit into the shiny leggings with a vest for christmas! (yep they are tacky as hell but if its a size 6 to 8 ill wear anything! )
Im also going to start taking folic acid and charting/ temping. Having not had regular cycles since 16 i want to get to know my body...so any help is always welcome...
The next three months will be time for me to get over everything that has been dealt my way so the start of 09 will be more positive and brighter.

Im amazed how much better i feel just typing this!

Lots of barbie hugs. love and positive wishes xx

barbie sweetheart - We are all gonna be here for you as vm promises.. I cant imagine what an emotional rollercoaster you are on, and as for the silly insensitive girl at work - how tactless, and I know exactly how you feel, there was a girl here due in aug, my 2nd was due sept, it was very hard watching her walk around with her bump -its not fair is it...? Most of all I know DH going is what is upsetting you most right now so everything else will be magnified.. I promise like vm that we will be here to support you all the way, and your little angels will send you the strength you need to carry on too... Just shout anytime ok?! Sending you a massive hug to put in your pocket and use whenever you need too xxxxxxxx

4ever thankyou, thankyou thankyou!!!!
I do feel so silly at getting so upset...the hug will come in handy!

i have just googled the brown spotting i have been having, lost the link but will try to post it later, really interesting to read that brown spotting with no af to follow could be a sign of ovualting, this isnt a good sign though because it means a drop in progestrone and if you suffer from that it could result in mc in early pregnancy...i wish i could find the post as it will make more sense then

barbieour posts crossed! Good for you girl! The power of positive thinking and everhopefulness eh? We may not be into self pity but we are allowed to occasionally hon!!!

mm sweetie - make sure you get the chocs out and chill this evening & tomorrow, this chapters finally ending, and new one will begin for you when you are ready.. Thinking of you today!

lilac my mums fave colour! Sad hello to you.. Sounds like you are being really strong, we're all here when you're not!

Hello also to any other newbies I've not yet welcomed! Had a bit of a rough time the last week or too and had sunk a bit after tryin to stay positive, slowly getting out the woods but cant be bothered to chat about me right now! I'm boring myself!
Feels much better to send love and support to you girlys instead. Its nice to feel useful!

Hugs strength and love all round xxxxxxxxx

barbie, that all sounds so good - if you can see the separation from dh as an opportunity to get to know your cycles and get ready for the next pg, then it could be a really positive project (I love projects! )

I've started using a great (free) site called Fertility Friend that does online charts:

Fertility Friend

It pinpointed ov accurately for me this cycle, even though it's still the first cycle after my mc (ov was coincidentally confirmed by the ultrasound scan I had at the same time). And there are lots of buttons you can press and interactive lines that pop up, always fun.

Enjoy the gym. Size 6 to 8? I am full of awe! (VM is a rustic size 10 to 12!)

CircularRainbow - great that your bleeding is tapering off! I also used to swim freely during AF; I think the reason they advise not to while bleeding after mc is that the cervix can still be slightly open.
I really have no excuse not to swim now - I will also make an effort to dust off the old Speedo and go this weekend!

barbie - don't panic about the spotting. Re your fear about low progesterone: are you thinking about what's called a luteal phase defect (LPD)? Cycles can be all over the place for the first few months after a mc, so don't assume you have a progesterone problem. Check out this info:

New cycles after miscarriage

If you're ovulating now, then you could expect AF in about two weeks. The luteal phase (length of time after ovulation) is usually 10-16 days. xx

vm i really could cuddle you! Such good info as always, web page looks good fun so i have added it to my tool bar...roll on my af so i can get down to the serious business of inputting my information!
Ps size six is wishful thinking more 8-10 but one can hope
pps i have stopped googling, to much stuff out there which really doesnt help but make you worry...mumsnet it is for all the help i could even need

4ever this cuddle is nice....thanks!

barbie - yes, google is the very devil! I'd steer clear as it just fans the fears... If you're ovulating, BTW, then that's a wonderful milestone - congrats, your fertility is back! I doubt that you have a luteal phase defect, actually, since you've had one successfully implanted pg already (usually a LPD results in chemical pgs.) If you've had AFs of different lengths since age 16 then you probably ovulate on different days in each cycle (the luteal phase or the time after ov, on the other hand, is normally pretty fixed for each woman). Charting will help you work out when you ovulate, but it only tells you after the event; OPKs will tell you when you're ABOUT to ovulate, so have a few handy for February! I'm sure that by then you'll have it all worked out!

4ever I meant to say hello! ((waves))

Right im on a positivity mission! i will be positive, i will be positive off to boots now to get a load of stuff to help in my mission, vitamins, temp guide, folic acid...tissues for my still slightly watery eyes. see you all soon barbie waves goodbye ......

Hellooooo vm {{{{waves}}} and ! You're such a fountain of knowledge! You are this sites true villageMUM great name!

Barbie Good girl good girl! Go and have a big spend up in Boots! PMA PMA PMA!!!! So proud you are doing so well already! Glad you're liking the hug! Use it whenever you need too, I'm very huggable right now cos you skinny girls, I was a 10 forever and I had to buy 2 size 14 jeans in last few months . My little round tummy and expanded bum are filling them out but making my hugs very good so glad you are enjoying!

I'm very much in shock Work announced this morning they are banning internet access , other people have apparently been abusing it! Not me though, just the odd visit to you ladies , however this was meant to be today and I'm still on here! Hurrah! Please let them have missed me by mistake! If not will be mailing at you strange times! Whatever will I do without you during the day - you're making work bearable! Worse way, we have our own internet cafe here so I'll just dissapear from my desk for long periods of time instead!! Ha ha! xxxxxxx

Waves and kisses to all you other girlys - hope you are riding it out through all of our ups and downs xxxxxxxx

Hi 4ever - ha ha, my problem is that I work from home and so have a minimised Mumsnet window more or less permanently parked on my screen. Apparently excessive computer use is not good news for getting pg though (some or other fertility guru once wrote.) So you will soon be up the duff and I will still be sitting here!

Im back...i have all sorts of goodies to play with now..just need af and maybe a husband to babydance with While i was i called a friend who told me to go to the pound shop for pregnancy test, yep i kid you not! her dad is a doctor and he always highly recommends the ones that they use in the surgery, ie the dip test ones. So now i have 5 packs of 2??? Ill keep them safe for the next few months, might come n handy if we move to dubai, wouldnt be able to read the word pregnant in arabic on a clear blue Im going to temp with my new chart and thermometer and the girl in boots recommend searching the internet for ov sticks because you can get them cheaper. I have vitamins, folic acid, tissues oh and a chocolate bar!!

4ever i hope they dont catch you! he he...when i at work during the day its horrid having to wait until i get home to come on here..i hope you dont go getting yourself pregnant at work though (unless your hubby is the boss! ) barbie laughs at vm last post

To much time on my hands now hubby has gone so i uploaded so pics on my profile page...happy days!!!
V.quiet in here tonight, think i might of tired you all out!

Lovely pics barbie, thanks for sharing! What a shame your dh has to go away so soon after getting married - will he be home again soon? My dad went to sea all his life but (before she had kids), my mum sailed with him and even spent two birthdays on one particular ship! Anyway, sounds like you had a fruitful trip to Boots - have fun getting to know your body! And Dubai sounds hot - I've only ever walked through the airport and it was midnight but still 38C [sweats]!

My bleeding has almost stopped now [hopeful emoticon] so if I get a completely clear day tomorrow, then I'll be back in business at the weekend for some exercise....

glad you like them circular hubby will be back mid jan but like your mum i have sailed a few times before on the ship! last time spent two months at sea with only 20 men to keep me company!
Glad your bleeding has almost stopped...just wish mine would start

'with only 20 men to keep me company!'

My mum tells me she liked this particular aspect of life at sea!!!

'Glad your bleeding has almost stopped...just wish mine would start'

Yes, that's an interesting one - I've got no idea when af will return and it's odd not knowing either! Still, we moan when we get af then wonder where she is when she is awol...

Gosh you lot jibber jabber so much I must catch up on here more often coz I miss so much!
Welcome to the newbies Mayl Bluewater lilacpink & detoxdiva hope you find plenty of laughs, shoulders to cry on and ears to listen
mm Sorry to hear that you are having to deal with all this extra shit on top of everything else, hope all went as well as it can do today, hopefully you will be able to move on a little once this over with, sending you a hug x
4ever Can't believe the treatment you received from that vile woman at the hospital, hope it all gets sorted soon, and glad to see that your further posts are happier. Although at banning internet access, let's hope they do miss you out
Sparkly Hello lovely x
Barbie How are you holding up sweetie, what an insensitive bitch at work some people You will be strong enough hun, you come across with such positivty and strength on here that I am sure it is no different in real life. You are bound to feel low at the moment, after what you have been through and then to have your DH have to go away is just awful. But we have all promised to hold your hand and be there for you as surrogate family/DH
Circular Retail therapy Good girl!

Went to GP Tuesday, as still no AF, it's been 8 wks since ERPC and 2 wks since chemical pg, but still no sign like you Barbie just want her to come so that I can get on with things! She's asked me to wait 2 wks and return if no sign

I'm off to bed shortly after my mammoth post! Mollie waves to everyone and promises faithfully to post on here more

Hi all, thanks for the supporting messages. I didn't sleep at all last night, and after nap today woke and then had to go through an awful stage of remembering I was no longer pregnant (my dd had just wet herself and I had to help clean up quickly, I was using some anti-bac spray and thought 'better not breathe this in, isn't good for baby...').

Now I want the bleeding to stop, to hear was just mmc, no other problems, then have regular AFs over end of year, and think of planning in New Year, have another dc with 'normal' pregnancy next year or maybe one after (hoping DH will be ok to plan after Xmas). So I have my list for santa! (I have irregular cycles, so this may never happen)

Barbie - sorry to hear your having to face 'baby talk' at work. I couldn't sit with anyone and listen to that either at mo. I don't think it's wrong for you to walk away and not want to see bump in future. I'm not going back until midweek next week (or maybe later) and hope to avoid anything similar.

barbie, what beautiful photos, and what a beautiful bride! You both look so happy too.
Must admit I didn't even know there was such a thing as a profile page!

lilacpink - I hope you managed to sleep a bit better last night... your plan for the rest of this year and next sounds good!

Mollie, hope you're feeling better too...

CircularRainbow, you are going to beat me to the pool - meant to go today but had to do some light dusting.

mm, thinking of you after your ERPC and sending you hugs.

My AF is due this weekend (based on ov two weeks ago) and it certainly feels as if it's about to arrive. Fingers crossed!

lilacpink Hope you got some sleep in the end, love the santa list!
VillageMum The only time we want our AF to arrive! Hope yours is more accommodating than mine

I've had plenty of time to be on MN today and typically you are all quiet! Might get a bit paranoid

By the way Barbie agree with VM gorgeous pictures lovely lady

Hi everyone, quick post tonight. The ERPC went as planned yesterday no issues apart from being pretty sore afterwards, nothing some painkillers couldn't sort out though. Had a busy day today as dd is 5 today, I cant believe it tbh, so took her to the science centre and we had a fun day although I think I may have overdone it a bit so paying the price for it now but it is her birthday.........where did I put the painkillers again! Anyway got to run for now as all the family will be round in 10 mins. Barbie thinking about you hun, thanks for the thoughts from you all will catch up with all you lovelys over the weekend. Take care mm xxx