emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels xxx

[EisAHandbagaHolic]

hi ladies
well i think its about time we had somewhere where we can all come to reflect on our lost angels and help us to move on towards the future and support eachother through the bumps in the road in the meantime
love and hugs to you all
{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}
xx ei xx

It might be worth you asking (or not asking, but I'm not telling you to go ahead and do it) if you can take Aspirin in your next pregnancy. The preventitive dose (which is equal to half a normal tablet) has been shown to drastically cut the risks of miscarriage.

i was told in the scan i had at 10 weeks, that it was chromosonal, as the yolk sac was three times the normal size and a recent study has shown that that is a downs syndrome marker.
i think its hit me so hard because i had uncomplicated pregnancies both times with my kids, and just assumed everything would be fine. when i lost the baby in july doctor says it was possibly caused by a trauma i had earlier in the week (huge washing line full of washing snapped and fell ontop of me)
i am hoping that it is just a coincedence that the 2 mc have occured at the same time, and although i also mc when i was much younger, i had just put that down to first pregnancies being more likely to mc. (and at the time i was not upset as i was only 14 and didnt want a baby)
but im adding it up and its concerening me now 5 pregnancies and only 2 babies. doesnt look like a very high percentage does it?
am i over thinking this maybe?
gosh this is making my head hurt

tinkerbellesmum, your story moved me more than I can say - and your courage and dignity too. How beautiful both your daughters are, and how wonderful that you were able to get the answers you so badly needed - as you say, what an amazing legacy! Many, many congrats on your coming baby!

Natty, hello. I'm so very sorry to hear that this has happened to you too (my gestational and mmc dates were exactly the same as yours). Come and join us here anytime. xx

barbie - oh no! I hope I haven't given you my 'virtual' germs! So sorry to hear that your sis is now really going through her own crisis and that you're picking up the pieces... sisters can be high-maintenance! And your mum-in-law - that's really sad news. Take some time for yourself tomorrow if you can...

harmony - thinking of you... xx

mm - where did that day go, eh?! Will VM be able to do anything useful with her life on TUESDAY? Other than slapping on spot and wrinkle cream, that is...? the bets are on!

thank you villagemum

Women go through major RTAs and still carry, the baby is well protected. With those figures you really might benefit from Aspirin at least.

Thank you VillageMum

Sure, Natty - try not to brood too much on this tonight, OK? Your mcs could indeed all have been sporadic and unrelated - it's not impossible. Have you thought of speaking to someone - Miscarriage Association or GP - for more advice? There are tests you can request if you've had three mcs. They may set your mind at rest. xxx

Tinkerbelle welcome, and thank you for your amazing story, another cryer here! You've given lots of hope to me and every woman on here I'm sure. Congratulations & condolences all wrapped together..

Natty also welcome, I'm sorry you've had to join us..

I'm afraid I'm having a really bad day. One of those events that made me want to post asap when it happened yesterday.. I've been going on about D Day - Thursday - My RESULTS day. Me & hubby practically marking off the calender, praying I have the same condition as tinkerbelle and can take the magic cure all aspirin and heparin. A friend at work had exact same, 3 mmc, diagnosed with 'sticky blood syndrome aka antiphospholipid'put on above meds, now has 2 girls. I been holding out for an actual answer this thursday..

So, got home to a letter, they have moved my appt to Nov 13th !!! Thats how my emotions have gone. Apparently the specialist isnt there this week and cos he only has a NHS clinic on thurs afternoons thats how long til the next appt. Have been told we could get a doctor to give results & thinking of doing that as been banking on finding out & waiting for all explanatory specialist appt as well. So broken feeling and empty, right back to day we saw no heartbeat. I'm so dissapointed and frustrated. Woke up at 4am and never got back to sleep. Sitting at work in a hot office with puffy eyes, waiting to tell manager I wont be off thursday after all. Will keep trying secretary to get results from doctors instead, no clue how long that could take. So far recurrent mc clinic not the magical cure all bed of sympathy and reassurance I was expecting. I won't even tell you about my experience with the secretary..

I'm just sick of permanently being crushed. I just want SOMETHING to work out for us without things going wrong every step of the way..

4everhopeful have you looked up the other symptoms? One thing that made me cross with the article was the line "it makes the blood thick" because I told her more than that and directed her to the HSF. Reading through lists of symptoms and talking with other people on the APLSUK support group has been an eye opener, I can't believe how happy I have been to have a positive diagnosis for possibly the worst autoimmune disease there is!

tinkerbellesmum thanks for sharing

4everhopeful I have had 6 pregnancies and only one child it is crushing sometimes, if I decide to try again I will ask for extra tests to see if something is wrong apart from the PCOS

a pregnancy is hope renewed is investing and dreaming of a future, when it does not go on to a healthy baby it is hard to handle, there are the hormones, the hopes and dreams crushed the feelings of 'what is wrong with me what have I done wrong'

all the rational feelings in the world can't really match those early waves of emotion.
I suppose all we can do is hold hands and carry on

4ever How frustrating I know you were getting mentally prepared for Thursday and now this. I don't know what to say but I think I would get the results from a doctor rather than wait any longer, bloody NHS. For some Nov 13th may not seem that far away but when you are in the position we are in it is an absolute eternity. I am so sad this is happening to you, no wonder you feel crushed. Sorry I can't be more help but do understand why you are feeling this way. It's starting to become a cliche on here but remember we are all here for you. Take care hun.

Natty Welcome to the thread but so sorry you have had to join us. I know exactly what you mean when you say your pregnancies with your DC were uncomplicated and you just assume that any others would be the same. When I had DD we fell pregnant the first month of TTC and I sailed thru the pregnancy with no issues what so ever, since then we have had 3 mc and cannot understand why it is so hard this time. It is so heartbreaking to go thru but that's why we are all here for each other.

Villagemum are you going to be joining me for two busy days in a row.

Barbie feel free to join us if you are off today, hope you cold better today.

Hope everyone else is having a nice morning well apart from the rain.

sfxmum virtually holding hands right now, hope you are good today.

Hi tinkerbellesmum didn't notice your post there, I clearly haven't woken up properly yet (says mm after 4 hours). Hope you are keeping well today. Think I need a coffee.

Oh, 4ever, what a frustrating turn of events for you! Maybe getting the results from a doctor first and then going back on 13 November is an option? just so that you can start finding some answers in the meanwhile...

sfxmum, you put it very well. I swing from being optimistic about next time (but then, I've only had one mc) to terrified.

mm - I am going to exercise a will of steel today and maybe only post here, say, 20 or 30 times!

im here! just catching up with all the post, i say you girls are worse than me! ...

sfxmum I would be asking about the possibility of Aspirin (Heparin would depend on when you've lost your babies) and/or prednisone in another pregnancy. I also wouldn't let them put you off with "you've had a healthy pregnancy before" because, as it says in the Mirror, there is always a chance of having a healthy baby and someone has to have that baby.

thanks Tinker the losses been at different times 3 at around 6-7 wks one a blighted ovum seen at 12wks and the most recent ectopic but not sure where exactly, must have been early as n need for intervention and I seem to be ovulating now.

honestly I just want to make it till Christmas relatively sane and then we will see, I will be 40 early in February but not thinking too much about it atm

Thanks for replys mm vm sfx & tinkerbelle.. We are definately going with what vm said, try to get results from doc then see specialist on 13th still. You all understand the eternity of the waiting game. Its all us girls ever seem to do is count the days.. I've never wished a year away so quick as this last one. Just so bloody deflating. Just out from telling my really nice manager, its that point where I started sobbing, hadnt til then. Works like an oven and I was a hot sweaty blubbing mess, she said I can go home, bless her. She really is cool, which is so appreciated. Theres the odd untactful comment which I've really now learnt not to take personally from people that havent gone through this..

It just brings the whole waiting on dates thing back, and its crap. tink Trust me have researched every element of causes and tests. Despite dramas incurred with my recurrent mc clinic they are pretty good judging from all info on website, which I am posting a link for...www.miscarriage-specialist.co.uk

You girls all check this out cos its is really really explanatory and all those that want to know what questions to ask will find this so useful..

Ah, the secretarys asst just called and said that although secretary not in today, they are going to do what they can for me and totally understand how desperate I am - cue for more crying. PMT or what ?! I made light of it then. I know my highly emotional state right now is validated Anyway will call back tomorrow and let me know what they can do - more waiting!

Thanks for letting me vent - sorry its been a me day.. Am gonna go home put on PJs and watch crap on telly. I need a laptop. Miss you girls already... will check back in tomorrow! Sending hugs of appreciation and gratitude xxxxx

tinker I tried taking the baby aspirin last time but unfortunately it didn't help us. After I got my last BFP the EPU's policy wasn't to automatically recommend taking it but then they told me unofficially the dose is so low that it wouldn't do any harm so why not try, so that's what we did. Although in the long run it didn't help it still felt better that I was doing something. I had some blood tests done after my 2nd mc and at the time was still waiting on the results coming back, they should have taken 6 weeks but ended up taking 10 weeks. They all came back clear by the way . I think it is something that is so simple to take so may be worthwhile checking out for some.

Sometimes the Aspirin isn't enough on it's own and you need Heparin too, but that's not even available from a GP let alone OTC. It's been shown to improve the outcome in women that take it, even without any diagnosis and in a first pregnancy. Prednisone (a steroid) has also been shown to improve the outcome.

BTW, if you do take Aspirin make sure they give you the EC version as dissolvable is bad for your stomach when taken on a regular basis. I have to remind my doctors on a regular basis!

Have you looked into what Hughes Syndrome does in every day life, 4ever? It covers so much that most people are grateful for a diagnosis because they suddenly realise they're not mad or a hypochondriac or a liar! Something that annoys me about the HSF website is how limited it's symptoms are. There's so much that it doesn't include. I only know about reacting to supermarket lights because it caused a discussion on the APLSUK group. Don't forget that a negative test doesn't mean anything other than your antibodies were low at that moment.

Hello everyone, I have gratefully just come across this site and glad I did. I was 8 weeks pg and had a miscarriage on sunday 5th oct, my emotions are all over the place and the pain is so raw, but i know i will find comfort here..

emmahelena Welcome to the thread, so sorry for your sad outcome but you are right we will all comfort and support you thru this sad time. Don't expect too much from yourself right now, just get thru it anyway you can and feel free to vent, rant as needed on here.

4everhopeful - so glad you're getting some attention from the clinic now! That's great!

emmahelena, welcome. I can't tell you how sorry I am for what you're going through. We have all been there. Just take it a day at a time and come on over here whenever you want to. Sending you hugs. xx

mm - I think we've been very restrained in posting here today (but in my case that's only because I've been asleep for most of the afternoon! . Another useful day for VM.)

barbie - hope you're feeling better! x

villagemum how naughty were we yesterday all part of the recovery process, that's what I tell myself anyway. It's so good to laugh and not feel guilty. Good for you having a nap, we all should take advantage when we can. Here's to useful days.

barbie I am now officially worse than you regards time spent on here.

Hi - im pleased i found this place, i miscarried at 20 weeks in oct of last year and have been searching for somewhere to talk ever since. Im finding this month especially hard as her 'birthday' draws nearer but hope to make new friends and find support

Hi thejesta2 you have found the right place and as for friends and support that's what we are here for. So sorry for the lost of your baby it must be so hard especially this month. Welcome and post away.