emmsys angels xxx support for mummies of lost angels xxx

[EisAHandbagaHolic]

hi ladies
well i think its about time we had somewhere where we can all come to reflect on our lost angels and help us to move on towards the future and support eachother through the bumps in the road in the meantime
love and hugs to you all
{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}
xx ei xx

barbie today went well, had a couple of minor wobbles I can't believe I started over a take that song funny how a song can get the emotions going, but positive thoughts and moving on. Hope you had a good day hun.

mm i had a good day, i think ive been concentrating on everything else! Just watched wall e....Kids film but keeps my mind busy for a few hours. Glad your day was ok, slowly slowly eh?

villagemum hope you got back safely from london, i have missed you today x

Night night sweet dreams everyone x

barbie are you stalking me!!! , all stalking very welcome. Sweet dreams to you too xxx

ha ha just obsessed with mn, kept the window open and saw you! i think you can match me for the amount of time spent on here!!!! have a good weekend

Clearly I am just as bad , DH rolling his eyes.

helloooooooooooo??? where is everyone? i thought at least mm would be on here Hope you are having a good weekend x

Hello everyone! Sorry to have been so silent - went to London on Friday for some fairly gentle work but my immune system is obviously so shot that I began to develop a horrendous cold there and then on the train back, and have been in bed for the last day! Feeling better now though. Barbie, kept thinking of you and your colds; this must be fairly typical response after a mc and general anaesthetic, I'd guess; had a stinking cold after the first ERPC too! Hope you're feeling better now...

mm - I cry now whenever I hear Take That's 'Rule the World', ANY song by that whinger, James Blunt, and classical music is just so dangerous that I don't even go there. Had to go to ds's school recital just after we found out about the mc; the choir sang a few pieces from a requiem mass and I was bawling in the front row - the headmaster thought I was moved by the beauty of the singing! Didn't have the heart to tell him the truth.

harmony, welcome. I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this terrible time. Please just come on here to talk whenever you feel like it; it can be the most enormous support to have the ear of other women who have been through similar experiences and who won't judge you, whatever you are feeling. mm is right, you need someone with you right now and just to give yourself a chance to work through the emotions; the medical answers can come later...I'm sure you'll be offered some medical follow-up after your d & c and that there WILL be solutions. Thinking of you. xxx

villagemum good to hear from you, not so good about your cold hopefully it doesn't last long, our bodies really have had a lot to cope with lately. Sad smile at the headmaster thinking your were moved at the singing, I suppose why would he think anything else, but songs really can be a trigger for the tears and when you least expect it. The song that got me was Take That's 'wait for life' and it hit me like a ton of bricks I guess it's still early days. Maybe we should start a list of banned songs for the moment!!!!

barbie how are you today. You had me smiling the other night when we were both on at the same time, twice. You really lifted my mood thanks

4ever hope you have had a nice weekend before the emotions are put to the test again this week. Take care and we are here for any venting if and when needed.

mollie how are you doing, still thinking of you. You know where we are when you are ready. Take care.

mbm hope you are ok, not heard from you in a few days hopefully it's because you are busy having fun.

harmony hope you are coping, take care.

Wasn't on yesterday had a busy day with DD before she went for a sleepover with Granny and Papa so it meant that DH and I could get some 'us time' last night. Had a nice night but then had a heavy bleed and passed yet another large clot, sorry if tmi. I am pretty annoyed that this is still going on after the hospital told us that there was pretty much nothing left, have passed 4 large clots (again sorry if tmi) since we were told this on Wed. Still I was determined that it wasn't going to spoil our night too much but it has left me wondering if it is over or not. Feeling really crampy again today so will just have to wait and see what happens next. Will be seeing my GP this week so will have a really good chat to her about all of this then. Anyway no more moaning, some good news it is actually sunny up here after all the rain yesterday.

Take care everyone mm xxx

Lovely to hear from you mm! It sounds as if your body is dealing very efficiently with anything that's still left. This could just be congealed blood, though, so don't worry (I had the same after the second ERPC - clots rather than tissue.) Must be enormously reassuring to be seeing your GP this week - I hope she gives you the all clear! xx

Hello lovely girls, im back after watching the great north run. The finish line is on the coast 5 mins from the house so dh and i treated ourselves to a day off from the house renovating and enjoyed some us time....

villagemum glad you are back, sorry about your cold, i seemed to catch mine before it got to bad but still sneezing and full of the sniffles! still waiting for af too all the symptoms and now i have 3 whole spots on my chin!!!! i never get spots! well apart from the odd one around that time of month! As for you crying at certain songs, i have made a play list of 'songs that are ok to listen too' so when im driving to work i know that everything on my playlist is safe! hope your cold gets better soon.....

mm ha ha still laughing at us both being totally obsessed with mn!! my dh asked when i will stop going on here and he too rolled his eyes when my answer was NEVER! well i had to explain that you ladies will be here when we are pregnant again, through the pregnancy and then for all the help after, and then i told him that goes for all of us so im here until each and everyone of us finally gets a happy ending...oh and of course then there will be the meet up! im going to start saving for that flight from dubai Sorry to here that you are still passing clots, hopefully it will stop soon hun, good luck at the docs..

Barbie waves to everyone else......

Hi again

villagemum I hope you are right and it is congealed blood but the clot last night was as big as anything I have passed before but you are right my body does seem to be dealing with all of this well.

barbie hope you enjoyed the run, we were watching on TV today maybe I even got a glimse of you without knowing I know exactly what you mean about being on here for the long run. I don't know how I would make it thru the day without you guys. I was doing the ironing earlier and realised that I was thinking about what I would speak to you about next. It then dawned on me that last night when I passed the clot it was going thru my head that I would speak to you girls about it today, it stopped me going on about it to DH all night. I never thought for a minute that speaking to you all would help so much getting thru this. I am glad we have all got to know each other just sorry the reason we are all here. Anyway here's to happy endings, the big meet up in the future and all the other stuff in between. Just realised we are both on around the same time again maybe I should mention this to my GP

Sorry to crash, it's been a help reading of others' experiences though. Here's mine:

I've just come out of hospital today after going in for medical mgmt of missed mc yesterday. Briefly, I had bleeding last Sat, scan on the Mon conf'd the mc. I was only measuring 5-6 wks and an "empty" sac or anembryonic preg rather than the 11 wks expected. I booked in for the medical mgmt but couldn't get space til Thurs for the 1st tablet (felt fine on it, a bit more bleeding when only had one occasion on the Sat) then day patient for an expected 6-8 hrs yesterday. Things got going after 2-3 hrs and I had a lot of pain, but got good medication (pessary worked best). Bled heavily and passed lots of clots but no sac. After examination by dr after 9-10 hrs, I was advised to stay overnight as the cervix was still open. Managed to sleep a bit and pain/ bleeding much better today. Still no sac though. I am now booked for a further scan on Fri, then possible surgery - which I am dreading. But I think I am more afraid of passing it at home, the whole process feels like it is dragging on and I feel drained in every way.
Not sure if this is a bit of a rant, but would be interested to hear more experiences. Thinking of you all and let's hope we heal well.

jemima hello, i had the same experience as you, mmc at 12 weeks, baby only measuring 7 weeks, opted for medical management but like you didnt pass anything. I had two courses and stayed in hospital for the first. I didnt pass anything the second time so was sent home...nothing happened thankfully (or not, depends how you read it) so had to have the op 3 days later, which i have to say was remarkably ok considering. I was so scared of the g.a in case i didnt wake up from it, that they kept me with my husband for an hour to calm down. You will feel drained, crap, lost and all matter of emotions after but we are here for you, good luck xx

mm isnt is weird that we could pass in the street but not know who each other were? yet you know my most inner most thoughts, dreams, and secrets!!! the run was good but cold and i really thought i had started to bleed so came home a little earlier, no bleeding so went for a nice long drive up the coast and a portion of chips by the beach, classy eh? i smiled at your last post because like you i do/ think things during the day and think oh i must tell the girls!
p.s if you are reading this and its still sunday you are well and truely addicted!!!! ha ha

barbie OMG just logged on again honest, the joys/ pitfalls of using a laptop in the living room. Chips by the sea are soooo good glad you had a nice day with DH. You are so right about how we share so much but have never met, well not yet anyway.

Jemima welcome so sorry to hear what has happened to you. I have had 3 mcs and haven't opted for the medical management for either of them so cannot comment but with my second I did have the ERPC (D&C). My experience went with no issues it was over quick and at least then I knew it was over. Another ERPC was my choice again this time however I passed the sac the night before I was booked in. I can also understand worrying about what you will pass at home, if the sac is only measuring 5-6 weeks then hopefully it won't be too physically distressing. Friday seems a long time to wait on top of what you have already been thru. This is such a horrible time for you but you may find chatting on here helps, that is how many of us on here have got thru this. We are here if you need us.

ha ha caught you out!
Whoops me too [caught red handed

mm - how are you now? Hope things are settling down and that the clots are easing off... do mention them to your GP when you see her and just keep an eye on your temperature meanwhile; if you're not hot then all should be well and you can be reassured that it's just nature taking its course! If not congealed blood then this could also just be the decidua (fragments of the endometrium) coming out now, so I wouldn't worry. xx

Jemima, welcome. I'm very sorry to hear you've had such a terrible time. I had a mmc discovered at 10 wks (my baby had stopped growing at 6wks) followed by an ERPC a week later as my body just wasn't beginning the process on its own. I subsequently had to have a second ERPC due to retained tissue, but please don't be alarmed - it's very unusual for this to happen. The ERPC is quick (the procedure takes roughly half an hour)and painless and is usually a very good way of getting medical closure on what has happened. After that second ERPC I am now officially reproductively fit again, by the way - ovulated on Saturday and saw the mature egg with my own eyes on ultrasound two days before during my checkup scan! So it just shows you... Take heart!

barbie - glad you're OK, running and everything! When this cold has gone I've promised myself that I'll go swimming again... xx

Jemima So sorry for what you're going through, life just isnt fair. All the girls here really understand and its been a massive help for me. In real life no-one can understand unless they been through it which is why this helps so much. All my mates have kids, I'm the only one that doesnt, yet..(!) I did find erpc better than naturally mc, I havent had medical management tho. 1st mc was natural and sac caught in cervix so 4 days in, was rushed to hospital, put on morphine and docs opened my cervix like in a smear and got it out that way, not nice at all. 2nd time was erpc at 9 weeks which compared to 1st time was brilliant, only spotted for 2 days & had pain night of op then that was it. 3rd time had erpc again, but as full 13 week term (only died 2 days before scan) there was retained placenta and had to have a second erpc 6 weeks later. Either way, I'd still go for erpc than natural so dont be scared of it hon. I feel you need to deal with the physical before addressing the mental emotions.. There will always be that emptiness tho, and that what me & these lovely girls are here to help with.. Sending you strength... xx

Harmony Sorry to you too hon. If only we could answer why this keeps happening... Its so frustrating not having the answers. Have you been referred to a recurrent mc clinic? I'm getting my results this thurs from a load of blood tests and scan.. It helps feel like you can get a bit of control back over whats happneing, and even hopefully some answers.. Check with your GP and keep on venting here, it helps massively!

Mm Still passing clots hon? Poor you, did they give you measurements of retained products in prev scans? Week after erpc I had 25mmx21mm, 5 weeks later was still 15mmx15mm even tho I had AF inbetween! I'd get another scan if I were you.. How frustrating.. Hope it didnt spoil your weekend too much.. I too spent the weekend wondering how you all are & thinking how glad I am that you're here this week for when we get results, and when I get AF which I know is coming . Was imagining how it would be when I fall again, and what an anxious wreck I'll be, but that I can get support from you girls and how great thats gonna be! I been telling hubby all about it too and he's really pleased I've got another outlet. I feel sorry for him and wish there was a mans version!

Barbie I watched the run and it inspired me to go for a jog round the local park! I still look pregnant so decided to do something about it! Sounds like you had a really nice weekend..

Villagemum Get well soon, lots of vitamin c and soups for you!

So, apart from my run, and attempts at wallpapering(!) my weekend was quiet, hubby met me from work on Friday with a big bunch of flowers before we hit sainsburys! I had convinced myself maybe pregnant again and feel like a bit of an idiot now cos went and got an early test, which was negative. Bit dissapointing although I know I need my body to recover more (and mind probably), and also to get results from recurrent mc clinic on thurs.. Although I kno I'll be a nervous wreck when I do fall again, I'm desperate to
get the ball rolling again, even if it doesnt work out. I figure one time its got too. I'm 34 in march, and although not that old, obviously clocks ticking and each month that passes so do my hopes. Anyway, one step at a time I guess. Await AF and then thursday.. xx

barbie, ha ha ha, I've just realised that you were WATCHING the run, not DOING it! Back to bed for me - my brains are obviously still scrambled! - either that or you are Bionic Barbie! (as well as being beautiful, blonde, and married to a sailor!)

mm - 4everhopeful may be right about that scan, you know - fingers crossed everything is normal for you, but probably couldn't hurt to ask them to have another look! My scan after the second ERPC showed clots which I then passed naturally; third scan was clear. It was reassuring to know after the second what I still had to expect by way of bleeding/passing.

4everhopeful - best of luck on Thursday. Oh, and you are YOUNG! Very, very YOUNG!! (says decrepit, aged Village Mum... oh to be 33 again!! )

Morning girls!!!!

villagemum I have made an appointment with my GP for
Thursday so will discuss the clots with her then. I don't think I am worried just annoyed that they are still coming, the hospital told me after the scan there was one small clot left measuring about 1 cm and I probably wouldn't even feel it pass. After hearing that mentally I started to move on but every time I pass more it just takes me back. No more since then so hopefully that is it now but still feeling apprehensive in case I get caught out somewhere embarrassing. Hope your cold is starting to lift and you are feeling better.

4ever Good to hear you are back running, that will help both physically and mentally. I know what you mean about wanting to get the ball rolling again, DH and I have been talking about TTC and have both agreed we will have a break for around 6 months before TTC again. Although I know it is the right decision I am almost wishing the time away so we can get started again. Don't worry at being 34 you still have lots of time left, I will be 37 in Jan and am not too worried yet.

barbie you have no idea how many times you have made me smile when I log on and see you have been logged on just before me. I know when I go back to work I will need to cut back on my time spent on here but you all have helped my so much that I need my daily fix (or more often if I have time as you well know). With us all starting to move on with life again we all get more positive and of course as you say all the good news stories have still to come.

jemima How are you feeling today, you know where we are if you need to chat. Take care

Hi to everyone else hope you are all having a good day. mm xxx

mm - so glad you aren't worried; you sound as if you have the situation under control and that the bleeding really is easing off now. Oh, and you are YOUNG too!! Years to go yet! ((VM desperately rubs Oil of Olay into wrinkles))

villagemum I have rubbing away with No7 protect and perfect on mine. After the last few weeks I need all the help I can get.

mm - you do cheer me up - I too have tried No7 Protect and Perfect, ho ho! (Is product placement allowed on Mumsnet, BTW? Who cares! None of these creams work anyway but they do smell nice )xx

villagemum smiles all round and hopefully not too many wrinkles, don't get me going on the subject of the odd grey hair argggghhh

mm sadly No 7 P & P doesn't work on grey hair either . What I'd like to know is: how is it possible, at my great age, to have both wrinkles AND spots?

hello all I hope everyone is getting on ok

here have been doing my best to keep motivated WW seems to be going well and have been out running regularly, even in the pouring rain yesterday dh&dd went along in the bike and we all got soaked

still don't feel ready to even think about making decisions as to whether we should try again or not, will give myself a break until Christmas i think and age be damned

btw I do like N7 P&P, and am not yet giving up my hair colour sessions at hairdresser, just spacing them more, it is a great treat for me
will try and catch up with tread properly