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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Being Pregnant after a Miscarriage

196 replies

Katherine · 13/01/2003 09:57

Hi Wills, everyone - don't feel ready to join the pregnancy threads yet as I don't want to tempt fate so as promised - here is what is hopefully a happier thread to vent that stress as the time crawls by. Need to confirm my booking in appointment with my mw today

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Katherine · 13/01/2003 19:06

Bought some maternity trousers this morning as only have one pair of my own trousers I can fit into and one pair of DHs but they are getting tight. Felt really nervouse like I was tempting fate but it was in the next sale - reduced from £30 down to £10 so felt I couldn't pass them by. Had a bit more pinkish muscous tonight though so starting to get really superstitious. Really queasy though - awake most of last night as I felt so rough. So much for Morning Sickness! Feel like I need another scan to reassure me already.

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sobernow · 13/01/2003 19:14

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sobernow · 13/01/2003 19:15

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Lucy123 · 13/01/2003 19:40

Katherine IO really feel for you as I was pregnant with dd soon after an m/c. I felt very superstitious too but really try not to be: statistically you are no more likely to have another m/c because you've had one before.

Like you though I didn't like to buy too much maternity wear too soon, but stretchy things are good! I bought lots of long stretchy tops and things like wrap around skirts that can be adjusted.

All the best

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Claireandrich · 13/01/2003 19:49

(((hugs)))

I know just what you are feeling right now. I has a m/c at 7 weeks before falling pg with DD. I didn't want to tempt fate and felt that everything was going to go wrong but it didn't. DD is now a beautiful, happy, lively 9 month old.

As Lucy123 says there is no reason for it to happen again. Look after yourself and try not to worry too much.

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percy · 14/01/2003 10:50

hi katherine
haven't been around for a while so am really pleased to see your notes on this and other threads. i remember all our jolly chat on the other pregnancy thread and just wanted to wish you well and say that i am really happy for you.

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bundle · 14/01/2003 11:21

and how are you feeling percy?

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Wills · 14/01/2003 13:15

brilliant thread Katherine - thanks for starting this one - hadn't realised you started this and therefore replied on the other one first.

I'm soooo over the top supersitious that I wont wear maternity bras yet. The fact that they hurt like hell keeps reminding me that baby's still safe! In my mc the first indication I had was that my breasts stopped hurting and that I no longer felt sick. The next day I had a slight bleed and went to the doctors for a scan to find out there was no longer a baby in the sack. I'd just caught the end of the M&S sale and bought loads of maternity clothes. Had to get my husband to put them in the loft so I know eactly how you feel over the trousers but realisticaly buying trousers is not going to determine the fate of our little ones although trust me I know how you feel.

I'll try to find out the name of those pills so you can ask your doctor about them. Will get back to you soon.

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Mumma · 14/01/2003 17:52

Hello

I have two DSs both of who were conceived within weeks of a miscarriage. I was scared to death through both pregnancies but everything turned out OK. I was seeing a consultant at the time I got pregnant with DS2 as I had just had my 4th miscarriage. He said that just having had a miscarriage could be a 'good'thing as it raised the levels of pregnancy hormone in my body which could have helped to protect the new pregnancy. I was also told that feeling sick was a good sign that things were going OK. I never did find out why I had the miscarriages but the only two times I stayed pregnant after 10 weeks were when I had just miscarried - I like to think that the babies I lost sort of paved the way for the babies that made it. I remember going to the loo to check for bleeding about 100 times a day at first but relaxed into it a bit when I got to 24 weeks by thinking that the baby would have a good chance then even if I did start labour or anything. Try to stay sane - good luck.

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Katherine · 15/01/2003 11:10

Percy, Bundle, Sobernow hugs{}. Mumma, that is really interesting. Fingers crossed. I'm glad things worked out well for you. Lucy123, Clareandrich and WIlls - it is so wonderful to know there are people listening who know just how I feel. I could generally consider myself a sensible person, non-superstitious etc. But its amazing how although you know what you are thinking is daft, you just can't help it. I know that what I buy or who I tell won't make a scrap of difference but it still makes me so nervous. I living in the loo which is daft as I know this baby has survived plenty of bleeding already so if I did find more blood it wouldn't necessarily mean the end, or that you don't actually need blood to have a mc so the absence is little comfort either - but I'm still in there every few minutes.

This afternoon I need to wear my new trousers to a meeting and that makes me cringe. I feel really stupid but I am also really scared. However I feel gloriously ill - now that makes me happy! Such a shame my MW is away for the next two weeks as I really want to see her but at least I know when I do I will be past all my other mcs. 10 weeks today

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Katherine · 15/01/2003 12:20

More bleeding.

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Melly · 15/01/2003 12:43

Hello Katherine, have been thinking of you, good news that you are feeling sick, that's a good sign. Try not to worry too much about the bleeding, I know it's so difficult isn't it and I really know what you mean about being superstitious. Have you had an early scan this time? I know they are not very nice but at least they put your mind at rest.
I think a posted on another thread about being so paranoid in my current pregnancy (I conceived about 2 months after a m/c) I bled from 6 - 12 weeks and it was the most awful time, the only thing that kept me going was the reassurance of feeling so crap (!) and that my boobs were still sore.
The reason for my bleeding was not clear and it was thought I may have initially been having twins (this was picked up on an early scan).
I was so paranoid I wouldn't wear or buy any maternity clothes until after my amnio results and I wore some lucky earrings from the day of the amnio and still haven't take them out!
Anyway, please keep posting if you can and let us know how you are.
Take care, Love Melly xx

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Katherine · 16/01/2003 12:51

Thanks Melly. Had a scan last Friday and was amazed to find a baby in there. Everything was fine. But then had a scan last time at 7 weeks, HB and everything fine but then mc at 12 weeks so although it was wonderful the reassurance has worn off already.

Bleeding stopped very quickly and still feel sick so don't think its anything to worry about. Keep telling myself that this little one has survived worse already but its hard to be objective.
Just wish I could go to sleep and wake up at about 14 weeks rather than going through this all the time.

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karenanne · 16/01/2003 13:44

hi katherine...i know exactly how you feel right now.i fell pregnant in may 1999 and was sooo happy(it was my first)and at 8 weeks i started bleeding it turned out i was suffering from blighted ovum where the egg doesnt progress ,it was awful feeling pregnant but no baby.i had a d+c and was sent off to try again in a few months.within two weeks i had conceived and after missing a period i did a test which was positive ,i was so sacred i had another done at my chemists and she said it may just be the hormones left from the last time.it devastated me and i then went into complete denial,instead of going to the docs to have it confirmed i just hoped and prayed that i was pregnant.
it wasnt until i was 12 weeks gone that i actually went to the docs and had it confirmed.
to say i was petrified throughout the whole pregnancy was an understatement and at even scan i was a complete wreck until i knew my baby was ok.it didnt help i had some problems throughout but i didnt actually believe i would have a baby until she was actually born.
i hope everything goes ok and you get the baby your wishing for....

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Wills · 20/01/2003 15:07

Hi,

Well I'm bleeding again - brown mark every day. I went for a check up at an early Pregnancy unit this morning and they said all was well. The little one even managed to wave at us. But this hasn't stopped my stress at the fact that I'm bleeding. I feel like a tightly coiled spring that is going to go pop any moment. The mw told me to relax and "enjoy" myself - I wish I could. I had just started to only go to the toilet when I genuinely needed to! I was told that quite a few women bleed all the way through their pregnancies but I didn't for my first so why should I for my second? I've also been told not to excercise or tire myself physically but that stress is ok. I'm under a lot of stress at work at the moment and have worked the last couple of weekends but I'm assured this causes no problems. Possibly I should simply go out and buy hundreds of black knickers - then at least I'd stop staring with fear. The one good thing is that I'm still getting waves a sickness and this reasures me.

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Katherine · 20/01/2003 17:08

Oh Wills I'm so sorry you are going through this but I am in the same boat. It seems that each week I have a little bleed. Nothing major - sometimes pink, sometimes brown. My symptoms go and my life just freezes. I simply can't function for about 24 hours. It is really depressing me as I really want to get on an enjoy the pg but every time I start to get hopeful - more spotting. I can't beleive it is only just over a week since my scan and everything was fine. Thinking of asking for another later this week just to keep me going as I don't see my MW until next week. Its so hard isn't it. DH tells me I should be positive but that hard when you find the blood. All my knickers are stained now so I spend ages on the loo trying to work out if the mark is new or if its grown. Today I wore dark grey and had to admit it was easier but I've made myself quite sore with the wiping.

I can't really offer any words of comfort - only to say I know just how you feel and I could happily strangle all those helpful souls who tell me I'm fine and should just get on with it. No-one can begin to imagine how disheartening it is unless you've been there. All I can say is take one day at a time and take heart in your sickness (!). My spotting days are always followed by days when I feel really bad as if my body is trying to reassure me in some small way. But every time I have wind I think its my waters breaking again.

Loads of cyber hugs coming your way

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Lucy123 · 20/01/2003 17:25

Katherine and Wills - still thinking of you. Let's hope you both have babies that start kicking early so you don't have to worry so much!

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bundle · 20/01/2003 17:25

Katherine, Wills, how awful for both of you, especially people telling you to relax! lots of hugs to you both, x

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Wills · 20/01/2003 18:13

Katherine,

You are the first person to make me smile in the last couple of days - thank you. (I can so relate to the comments about wind and dark underwear). Its great to know someone understands how you feel. The mw started off by almost accusing me of lying simply to get a scan but I burst into tears so after that she was much nicer! I know they see this all the time and that they then see the same people go onto success but unfortunately I don't have their experience and can only relate to my own experiences of which 1 was successful and 1 failed. Unfortuantely the failure was the last one and the memory of it is amazingly sharp and has clouded the memory of the first one (my dd's). Whilst I would not wish this upon anyone it is also nice to have company and to be able to talk about it. Like you my husband tries to sound caring but I suspect he thinks I'm loosing it.

Lucy123 - as for kicks - yes please and if I get to that point then I promise not to complain (well not much).

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Katherine · 20/01/2003 18:18

Lucy123 - that would be wonderful. Such a relief. I know its only then that I'll start to relax. DS kicked at 17 weeks and DD at 15 so maybe with those maths I can get hopeful at 13 weeks. Mind you because with my last MC I had proper contractionns and my stomach went hard I will probably just start panicking that any bumps sticking out (felt these before the butterflys both times) are actually contractions rather than baby

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janh · 20/01/2003 19:27

You would think that midwives, having seen so many pregnancies, would realise that each case is different and each mother is different and that everybody has a history, some much harder to cope with than others. (Mears, I am quite sure you are not at all like Wills's midwife!)

Katherine and Wills, you are both incredibly brave, I hope too that for both of you the bleeding turns out to be in the end nothing more than just a really panic-making symptom (hope you know how I mean that!)

Wills, I am so glad yours managed to wave at you. Hang on to that. Lots of luck to you and Katherine. Fingers crossed all round.

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Ghosty · 21/01/2003 08:53

Katherine and Wills ... am thinking of you both lots and lots ... hope everything is going ok for you ...
We are TTC this week and I am trying hard not to think of what happened to me in November ... am taking load of folic acid ... not drinking etc (which is silly because DS was not planned and I didn't know what folic acid was and also DH and I were plastered when we conceived!)
I just can't think of anything else at the moment. I have never wanted anything so much in my life ... I so want to be pg and to have my second baby and I know that I will be worried about it all until I have a successful 12 week scan ... I am not that worried about conceiving as DS was a surprise and when we tried the last time I got pg first time ...
Anyway ... just wanted to share ...

PS ... Katherine ... I got your e-mail but we have had a shocker with our system and have lost all our history (addresses etc) ... could you send it again????

Hugs ... Ghosty XXX

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Batters · 21/01/2003 11:58

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Katherine · 21/01/2003 13:51

Thanks Bundle - hope you are doing OK. I keep looking at the pg threads but haven't dared to speak yet! hosty - good to hear from you. It must be so hard to find yourself at the beginning of this journey again. I feel like I've been here forever. Remember one day at a time

Wills - do you suffer from "The Trickle" too? Its driving me nuts. Every evening I collapse onto the sofa and just at a crucial moment in whatever I'm watching I swear I feel a trickle of something. Sometimes I just worry cos I feel wet but the worst is the trickle. I hide behind a cushion like a dirty old man trying to decide if my pants are wet vowing not to move until the break but 2 seconds later I give in and dash to the loo. There is usually nothing to see and I feel stupid again but it totally grips me.

On a more cheerful note my boobs have suddenly sprouted and feel HUGE!

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Wills · 21/01/2003 15:39

Hi

Thanks to all well wishers.

Katherine.

I've just returned from a very very important lunch meeting where I needed to maintain an air of poise and dignity as I negotiated with two people for more of their resources for less money etc etc. All this had to be done whilst wearing a brand new silk shirt with a mark on the shoulder where my daughter this morning carefully wipped her nose! Even then knowing I was doing well and knowing that if I went to the toilet and discovered my worst fear that I would fall apart - STILL I ended up going three times because of a trickle.

Good news is that this morning I could barely get off the tube and make my way into work because I wanted to throw up!

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