Being Pregnant after a Miscarriage

[Katherine]

Hi Wills, everyone - don't feel ready to join the pregnancy threads yet as I don't want to tempt fate so as promised - here is what is hopefully a happier thread to vent that stress as the time crawls by. Need to confirm my booking in appointment with my mw today

Marina - delighted to hear your news and also that you are getting really good care. Best wishes x

excellent news, marina! congratulations!

So pleased for you Marina, feet up as much as possible

Oh Marina I am so happy for you and your family you deserve this great news,take care of yourself,love L xx

Don't know if I should add to this thread because it seems so happy. I had some really sharp pains this morning just as I was getting into work. I couldn't walk any further and had to sit down and eventually started to slowly go back home. By the time I got home they had gone completely but they'd left me so unnerved that I went to my doctors anyway. I wish I hadn't because she didn't have good news. She prodded my stomach, on the lhs there was nothing but on the rhs there was a very slight tenderness and if I'm really truthful about it I over played it slightly because I didn't want her thinking I'm a complete twit. She announced that the tenderness of the womb was not a good sign and it was entirely possible that I could loose it. I'm to rest for the next few days - no work on Monday and Tuesday etc. She's told me it could be up to a couple of days before any blood appears and if it does I'm to go straight to hospital. She also told me that many babies come through this etc. I could go today all the way to Tuesday with nothing and then loose it then. I asked if a scan would prove anything and she said that at this stage it would likely show nothing so she wasn't prepared to send me for a scan. I don't know what to do with myself, I'm torn between persauding myself that I've over stated the tenderness and a great big gaping hole that threatens to gulf me with fear that I may loose this little one. Sorry to blather on like this

Oh Wills - I hope everything turns out well for you. I will say a prayer for you and your little one. Make sure you have lots of rest, and like your doctor says, lots of babies come through this. I will keep thinking of you.

Wills, I am desperately sorry to hear of this latest setback for you.
I am sure you could get more detail (at the very least, and hopefully more reassurance) from a specialist in the field, such as a midwife or obstetrician.
I'm sorry, I cannot remember if you are London-based, but if you are, there is a walk-in self-referral EPU at St Thomas' near Waterloo Station. I have not used it but other Mumsnetters have highlighted its existence and its potential in cases like yours (ie where your GP seems unwilling to refer you to hospital).
Hopefully an expert such as Mears will pick up on your post, but I'd have thought that if you are around 12 weeks a scan might very well identify a cause of tenderness if there is a physical cause (some women have benign ovarian cysts which can cause this, but which do not usually threaten a pregnancy).
I can see that your GP may have meant that a scan now would not be able to predict how the pregnancy will fare over the next few days - I think we all reluctantly accept that ultrasound is not a crystal ball. But reading your post, it seems to me that you have been left high and dry over a weekend by your GP, which given she must know your previous history seems truly insensitive to me.
I really do hope that your fears are unfounded, but I do feel that on the basis of what you told her and how you were feeling, she could have done more. Is it too late to go back to her and ask if anything more can be done? Can 't she at least explain what she means by the tenderness being a bad sign?
Thinking of you and hoping for the best.

Marina - I've been thinking about what you've said and considering going. My concern is that its miles away - I mean I live just outside London - North. My husband's concerned that I've been told to rest but I must admit the possibility of seeing my child still fine or at least getting on with bad news is really tempting. The not knowing is agony although I'm sure if bad news came I might regret the rush to know. I've phone my doctor back up and asked her to ring me so that I can clarify things. I could also go private but we had been saving like mad for my hopefully future maternity leave - still at a time like this who cares! Hopefully my doctor will ring back and now that I'm now feeling quite shocked I will be lucid enough to ask the right questions and to keep going to get answers

Wills, have been following your and Katherine and Marina's progress and feeling so happy for you all. Am now really sad to hear your news - keeping everything crossed for you ... hugs

wills, hoping like mad that things work out for you - hope you get lots of support over the next four days.

Wills how terrible for you. My heart goes out to you. But please bear in mind that aches and pains are a big part of pg. I get sudden sharp pains sometimes, epscially if I cough or sneeze suddenly. It use dto panic me but I've had them with all 3 of my healthy pg.

I think its terrible that your GP has left you like this. I don't want to make you feel worse but if you do miscarry at this point then it can be very scary and painful and you should be under observation. Telling you to rest though will just make you feel guilty - if you are going to loose this baby then it will happen and is nothing to do with anything you do now.

Why do these things always happen just before a weekend when you feel most isolated. It has been such a bad journey for you coming this far. You've got to take the next few days one day at a time or even one hour at a time if necessary. And despite your doctors advice don't spend all weekend lying there in terror. You need something to take your mind off this - make sure DH spoils you rotten.

Is there anyway you can get your midwife to see you over the weekend to reassure you. You just need to feel someone is looking out for you. She might be able to pick up the HB (I heard mine bang on 12 weeks) or feel your tummy to see if you are still tender. Please be reassured that I have all sorts of pains and although that is no guarentee that yours are the same do not resign yourself or give up.

I am going away in teh morning and won't be back until next weekend but I will be thinking about you every day and crossing everything for you. Hugest hugs and loads of TLC

Hugs and crossed everythings, Wills. Your GP did say that many babies come through this so hold onto that thought.
x

Thank you all for your thoughts. I spoke to my GP again and this I gave direct questions and wouldn't let go until I got clear answers that I understood. This time she was much better. Firstly I told her that I have a fibroid, this has been causing me a dull ache down the tenderside of my womb all through my pregnancy. At the moment its fairly intense but during my calmer moments I have to admit that the pain has been there before and therefore I'm not connecting it with the spasms/cramps that I had this morning.

The next thing she asked was whether my bowls were working and funny enough I've been constipated for the last 4 days but have now clearerd. She said this could cause the womb to react as well.

Finally I asked her why should wouldn't refer me to a SCAN unit and she explained that it was entirely possible that I would see I nice happy baby but given the cramps from this morning that wouldn't guarantee I wont loose it tomorrow/sunday etc. She explained that only time would tell and that if I made it to Tuesday it would be worth sending me to the EPU to confirm then that all was well and ticking along.

I flick between thinking that it was constipation/fibroid or that I overestimated the pain (which bought me out in a sweat) and complete fear that this little one isn't planning to remain around. Worry is such hard work - but its lovely to hear your support - thanks.

Oh wills, fingers crossed from me too. I really hope things turn out ok. Keep talking here if it helps over the weekend - I can imagine that Tuesday seems a long way away right now.

Wills, I am thinking about you and hope everything turns out OK.

I'm really glad you got to talk to her and she explained things a bit more. What she maybe didn't mention is that often fibroids do quite nicely out of a pregnancy because of the extra blood flow to the wall of the womb, and some grow along with the baby for a while...causing pain and tenderness. Then they run out of space as nature ensures the baby and placenta get priority. I have not experienced this myself but have a friend who has, and there are Mumsnetters who have also had healthy pregnancies with fibroids.
I SO know the feeling of thinking every twinge means the end, Wills - and your bowels really do play bad tricks on you (they have on me this time too). Trapped wind can be so painful and so can constipation. I have found a spot of peppermint oil (BP, from the chemists) in a small glass of warm water really helps.
I really hope it was just a nasty case of wind, that things settle down for you over the weekend and that you finally get the scan you need early next week. Take care and as others have said, keep posting here if it helps.

Just wanted to add that I am thinking of you Wills ...
I have been following this thread and was really encouraged by yours, Katherine's and Marina's news ...
I hope you get some answers soon ...

Wills - I am so sorry to hear how distressed you have been. Let me reassure you if possible that lots of women suffer pretty severe pains around 8wks, 12 wks and 16 wks when periods may have been due. It is not a sign of impending misscarriage but is very frightening never the less. The womb has just started to lift out of the pelvis at 12 weeks and there can be stretching of the ligaments that also cause pain. Since you have not had any bleeding please try and think positively. I know that having a scan to confirm an ongoing pregnancy is what you would like, but it only does that for the moment in time that you see the baby. You may well get a few more episodes of pain over the next few days and it would be impossible to scan each time that happens. By Tuesday hopefully everything will be a bit more settled. As Katherine has said there are lots of episodes of pain/discomfort associated with being pregnant due to all the changes taking place. I remember it well myself but it doesn't make you worry less.
Could you speak to your midwife? Sometimes the FH can be heard at 12 weeks with a doptone. She might not be keen to listen in for you though because the heartbeat is not always easy to pick up at this stage and that might cause you more worry. I would also say that there is no need to lie resting unless you feel better doing it. It will not affect anything and can cause anxiety if you think you have done too much.
Hope this ressures you in some way although I have probably waffled on quite a bit. Make sure you are drinking plenty of fluids by the way to avoid constipation and also to avoid urine infections developing which can also cause pain.
Best wishes, mears.

wills, fingers crossed for you and your baby.

Mine are crossed too, Wills. Really hope all will be well. I'll be thinking of you.

Marina- I'm absolutely delighted that you're pregnant again and starting to feel good about it. Thinking of you too and my thoughts are very happy

Mears - thanks for the advice about sitting still. She wanted me to stay off work because I have 1.30 hour commute, most of it standing on tubes etc. She's told me to potter and take it easy but as with most things I'm not sure what "take it easy means" as I'm normally a sit around sort of person and to be honest its driving me nuts! It leaves me far too long to think. Probably I should simply spend the days sat in front of my computer (now mended thank goodness) reading Mumsnet and having drinks and food delivered - not sure my dh would agree though. Thanks for the information, knowing a little more helps to make my demons smaller - now if I can simply sleep through the night (oh for a bottle of wine!).

Opps I meant NOT a sit around sort of person

Wills - do whatever it takes to get you through the weekend and don't feel guilty about anything you do. Hope you are feeling better this morning. Off on holiday now but will be dashing up to check up on you as soon as I get home. All my love.