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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Being Pregnant after a Miscarriage

196 replies

Katherine · 13/01/2003 09:57

Hi Wills, everyone - don't feel ready to join the pregnancy threads yet as I don't want to tempt fate so as promised - here is what is hopefully a happier thread to vent that stress as the time crawls by. Need to confirm my booking in appointment with my mw today

OP posts:
jodee · 15/02/2003 09:34

Just catching up after a busy week - Wills, thinking of you, I hope everything is OK. xxx

Marina, I am SO SO happy for you, that's made my day!

Wills · 16/02/2003 16:15

Well no bleeding so far but I'm so nervous

Many of you recommend speaking to my midwife - but I don't have one. There isn't one connected to my GP's surgery and I'm not supposed to contact my hospital until after my booking in a appointment (15.3 wks). Even then I will only be given a phone number. During my dd's pregnancy I belonged to a Domino group and they were fantastic. This time round no one appears to want to know. I don't want to sit around any longer and would like to have access to a midwife who I could talk to in times like this. I've considered going back to the domino midwives but I'm concerned that they'll get funny and turn me away. Does anyone have any suggestions please?

mears · 16/02/2003 17:00

Good grief - why do you not have a midwife? Why have you not had a booking visit? 15 weeks is late for a booking visit in my neck of the woods. You could phone the hospital - you are allowed to do so at any time - and ask them to put you in touch with the midwife who will be responsible for your area. It amazes me how vastly different the care provision is throughout the country, from area to area. You would have been given a contact number for the midwife on discharge from the early pregnancy ward at our hospital.

Marina · 16/02/2003 19:07

Wills, if you've still got the Domino team's number, why not ring them. If you're very unlucky they might get a wee bit funny, but I bet they will understand how you are feeling.
I take it your GP (again) has told you not to contact the hospital before your booking in...well, if I had not pushed it with my GP this time and last, I would not have been referred to the EPU at my hospital of choice because she flatly denied they had one. And she wasn't meaning to be obstructive, she just hadn't done her homework. It's been open over a year!
You could ring the hospital and find out if they have a Specialist Midwife in Pregnancy Loss or Bereavement. This is a growing area of specialism and there might be one since you had your first baby, or even since you lost your second. If they don't have one, ask to speak to the Chaplain's office. Our Bereavement Midwife is new and before she was appointed the Chaplain was the person to speak to. And if your immediate local hospital doesn't offer this kind of service, pluck up your courage and ring another local one.
I can't bear to think of you cut off from potential sources of advice or support because your GP is simply doing the bare minimum. I expect you are being far too polite and reasonable!
Mears, even though the Women's Services in SE London are very good indeed, booking-in has slipped back to 15 weeks here too (it was 11-12 when ds was born in 1999). I too wonder why women are not seen earlier, at a time (nuchals, CVS, late 1st trimester pregnancy loss) when they could probably really benefit from some expert support from a midwife. Surely it cannot be to cut costs...Anyway, I was told I could be booked in when I want, which was lovely for me, but a shame that this is not available for all women.
Wills, let us know how you get on. And, as a fellow beleaguered commuter, I am sure someone will understand if you ask for a seat on at least part of your journey.

Wills · 16/02/2003 21:16

Mears - thanks. I took your advice and phoned the hospital and although it was difficult actually getting through to a midwife (with everyone asking me had I phoned NHS direct etc) when I did get through I found a really fantastic person. She listened to me and told me it all sounded normal. That I wasn't a neurotic, paranoid person, merely a normal mummy who had suffered a miscarriage. She also explained that I should try and get the booking in appointment moved on the basis that I want the support that arrives after you're booked in. She appeared to base most of her noises to me on the fact that so far no blood and no serious cramps. I told her about my sore womb and she didn't appear phased by it and that the little one was probably leaning over on that side causing the stitches too. She wasn't sure what the constant tightening across my belly was but appeared happy that there is no associted pain with it - therefore it still ranked as normal.

It was really nice to find someone in the medical profession around here whose first reaction was not to turn me away as a pest.

Marina - agreed I need to sum up the courage to ask someone to get up. I tell myself every night that I'm going to do it and then chicken out every morning.

Today's experince has also shown to me that I must not accept everything and display a little more determination.

WideWebWitch · 16/02/2003 21:48

wills, I'm glad you're ok. Well done for making that call and thank goodness you got someone nice.

mears · 16/02/2003 22:57

Glad to hear you got through to someone. Hope you are feeling a bit reassured. Makes me realise what a good service we offer which often doesn't seem to be appreciated.

Marina · 17/02/2003 09:03

That's great news, Wills, midwives usually come up trumps in my experience! I am so pleased you found someone more positive and helpful to speak to (WE all appreciate you Mears!). I know how hard it is to make the call when you are worried bad news will come of it...it took me three weeks to ring and confess to the Bereavement Midwife that I had spotting and I was terrified. And this was with a direct number to call with someone I knew would understand at the end of it.
Is there any chance at all you could change GP? Yours really sounds unsympathetic.

Wills · 17/02/2003 09:43

Mears - I don't think she's unsympathetic but I live in an area that is just beginning to fill with new families. For years now its been almost a retirement village and she is close to that state herself. She is a classic country doctor with a tweed skirt suit and all. She simply doesn't understand. As my dh pointed out there are 3 doctors at this surgery and she's the best one amoung them. Also with new houses appearing all the time moving surgeries (or even simply getting into one of them) is a major feat. Given the reactions I get at the hospital as well (except the midwife I spoke to last night) I would have to say that the medical services of the entire area are having difficulty keeping up with the increase in population and the shift to younger families.

I looked at the NCT site yesterday (hoping to find a midwife on line service etc) and found that I am entitled to change my pregnancy care to whatever hospital I want at any time (including during labour - although I must say I'm not sure I'd have the energy to do it at that point). So today I've decided to investigate all my options. Its given me something to do that is more than simply sitting around worrying and concentrating on every twinge, ache and tweek my tummy makes! There is of course a superstitous part to me that makes me think I shouldn't be tempting fate but if I do this throughout my pregnancy I'm going to go mad!

Wills · 18/02/2003 12:43

Hi everyone. I went for a private scan last night at a Bupa hospital and I truly wish I could do this all private. It was totally wonderful (if not the most expensive 20 minutes that we've spent for a long time). Not only was I scanned by a consultant but they also did a nuchal test and took my bloods (to be phoned through tonight). My baby looked beautiful. The little one was kicking and waving and looking gorgeous. He went right round the womb to check that all was well and then that it must have been bowl problems. His disgust at my doctor was barely disguised. A SCAN on Friday could have told me the same information and I needn't have gone through hell and back. I'm currently floating on cloud nine - so much so that I haven't really given much thought to the abnormality tests coming this evening - but will let you all know (so fingers crossed please).

I also phoned the antenatal clinic who (unlike my doctor) announced that the late appointment was a mistake and promptly booked me in next monday (14 wks 1 day). They also let me change consultant without even blinking. I'm still scared, but its at a far more manageable realistic, normal pregnant mother level and to be honest - I feel great! (I just hope I can keep this feeling for the following 26 wks).

jemw · 18/02/2003 13:06

good news wills, that feeling of relief after a positive scan is overwhelming isn't it after all the dread beforehand...fingers crossed for you for the results tonight...jemw

CookieMonster · 18/02/2003 13:28

Wills, that's brilliant news

bundle · 18/02/2003 13:33

wills, I'm so glad things are looking up for you

Marina · 18/02/2003 13:35

Wills, that's more like it...what a shame you had to go private, but sounds like you had really kind service. Great news for you all!

Demented · 18/02/2003 13:55

Great news Wills!!!

sis · 18/02/2003 15:46

Just caught up with this thread, great news Wills, congratulations to you, Marina and Katherine!

WideWebWitch · 18/02/2003 16:41

Oh that's great wills! Phews all round

sobernow · 18/02/2003 16:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

musica · 18/02/2003 16:49

Well done Wills - I hope everything continues to go well, and that you get some good kicks soon! V encouraging!!!

jessi · 18/02/2003 18:06

Brilliant news Wills and hope you get great results tonight.

Batters · 18/02/2003 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wills · 18/02/2003 21:29

OH WOW - results have come back as 1 in 3462 - so I don't think I shall be risking the 1 in 100 for an amnio - don't think I need it. I've never heard of such a low result. With dd I was 1 in 1896. Didn't think I could float any higher but I'm now on cloud 19.

leander · 18/02/2003 21:50

Wills,That is brilliant news ,i am made up for you.

clanger · 18/02/2003 22:39

I wonder if anyone can help. I suffered a m/c last year which resulted in an emergency D&C and blood transfusion. I am now 11 weeks pregnant and nervous. I had a scan at 7 weeks which showed all was well and started to enjoy feeling sick etc. At 8 weeks I had spotting and some pain. Yesterday I had my booking in appointment and dating scan. The scan showed I was only 10 weeks 1 day - is this OK? (my previous scan had showed I was slightly more advanced than my dates). The midwife was not very helpful and just said that if I was going to miscarry it would happen (which I accept) and that if I started bleeding heavily in the street so be it. At the booking in appointment they said not to come back for 11 weeks when I have my anomaly scan and I wouldn't see a midwife until 24 weeks. I was given no phone number or anyone to contact if I have any concerns. When I had my ds (at another hospital) they were really helpful and took time to answer all my questions and gave me a number to ring. I now feel worried in case the baby isn't growing properly and can't believe that I only see someone every 12 weeks. I know that I am probably paranoid after what happened last time but just wondered whether anyone has any thoughts.

mears · 18/02/2003 22:54

Glad you have been reassured Wills - I am sure all will be well for the next 26 weeks.

Clanger - scans are not totally accurate regarding dating so to have a difference of 6 days between your dates and scan is not at all unusual. If your periods are regular and you are sure of your last period, your due date would not be changed as a result of your scan. You should be visiting your GP or midwife monthly at this stage.You should have been given a contact number for the midwife or hospital at your booking visit. Do you have hand-held records? I am concerned that women are not given contact numbers at the booking visit. It is very poor care IMO. Be reassured Clanger, that it is most likely that your pregnancy will carry on quite nicely without people interfering with you