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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

missed miscarriage, just sat here waiting.....

500 replies

dramaqueen72 · 13/01/2005 09:37

anyone out there relate to this? this is my second missed m/c, tho i had a baby inbetween. the shock of a diasterous scan still hurts like mad i found out yesterday. i now have to wait a week for a rescan, and then choose how i want ot proceed. either a eprc (d&c), or pills to force m/c, or 'sit and wait' with poss return to surgery. absolutely crap awful choices. i feel so numb and like my life is on hold. still havent told hardly anyone but struggling to day to appear 'normal' and jolly.
bloatella if youre out there......i couldnt find your thread so am wittering away on this one.

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dramaqueen72 · 18/01/2005 22:02

nearly wednesday.

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girlfromipanema · 19/01/2005 00:07

all the best for tomorrow........ almost today......

kid · 19/01/2005 06:56

Good luck for your scan today xxx

dawnybabs26 · 19/01/2005 08:16

Good luck today dramaqueen,

Sending you lots of love and support.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{Big Hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}

Dawn xxx.

littleweed · 19/01/2005 08:24

good luck. at least whatever happens today you will know one way or the other and be able to go on from that. I know how hideous the waiting is. i had teh same chices intiallly tehn they decided after teh second scan ( a weeks wait) to do teh erpc there adn then. bugger appearing normal adn jolly - you've having a rotten time of it so act how you bloody well like! seriuosly thinking of you

romilly · 19/01/2005 11:20

good luck, fingers crossed, prayers and whatever else it takes for you dramaqueen today..

girlfromipanema · 19/01/2005 12:49

dramaqn, hope you're ok, thinking of you.....

dramaqueen72 · 19/01/2005 14:10

thanks ladies for nice thoughts. there was no size change or heartbeat found this scan, so have surgery booked for first thing tomorrow morning (7.45am check in!) bit upset, but also kinda -weirdly- relieved all my 'what ifs' are ruled out and i can deal with this now. nervous as heck for tomorrow, sucha wimp when it comes to hospitals etc.

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beachyhead · 19/01/2005 14:17

glad they can fit you in so quickly and really sorry to hear your news but I guess at least you know now... best of luck for tomorrow. Make sure you are treated like a proper (as in non drama) queen over the weekend by your dh.....

Bella23 · 19/01/2005 14:29

Dramaqueen - praise be that you are booked in for tomorrow morning, no more days to wait in agony!
You will be fine in the hospital. Make sure you take loads of trashy magazines with you to pass the time as well as a dressing gown and slippers for a bit of comfort.
Trust me when I say that it is unpleasant but not totally scary. Just tell the staff and they will make sure they will look after you.
I shall be thinking of you tomorrow - just grit your teeth and I promise it will all be over very quickly.
Keep us up to date as to how you get on.

wilbur · 19/01/2005 14:40

Dramaqueen - I wanted to come over from the other thread to say how sorry I am about your sad news, and you too, bella23. I'm glad, at least that your wait is nearly over - I found the 36 hours wait between finding out my last pregnancy was ectopic and having the surgery was very painful so I really feel for you. Take care and I hope things go okay tomorrow. Look after yourself. xx

romilly · 19/01/2005 14:50

that is sad sad news dramaqueen - i do feel for you. just been there myself (m/c over xmas/new year)and i just wasnt prepared for that heartbreaking moment when the doctor goes silent looking at your scan. i knew before anything was said from the long awkward pause - and i don't think you can ever forget that moment. Like you, i was booked in for the ERPC the next morning. There's never the right words to say at these times but we are all thinking of you.

girlfromipanema · 19/01/2005 15:36

oh dramaqn, glad at least that your wait is over, thinking of you loads tonight, hope it goes quickly tomorrow, huge hugs............

dramaqueen72 · 19/01/2005 15:49

thanks guys. i am in a weird surreal world now were i am packed and ready to go.but not time i know its all over i want it done quickly. hate this afternoon/evening. am being horrible and short with everyone, cant help it.
bella how long do i need assistant after the op? dh home thurs/fri, but might struggle to have 'help' sat.
thanks for making the effort to come and find me wilbur, i appreciate that.
the scan was awful, i desperately asked the nurse to double check, and to make sure no tiny baby was hiding. she was very upset when i said that. sounds pathetic doesnt it? but i needed to know it was 100% over.
dh and i have decided to try again pretty soon. -but not telling anyone in 'rl'. we didnt even know we wanted another when i got pg this time but things like this change your perspective on everything. maybe i will get my christmas/new year baby? its a comforting thought right now, and helping me -and dh- thro this bit. you girls will ttc with me right?
we should start a new 'recovery' thread soon. what do you think?

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Bella23 · 19/01/2005 16:07

Dramaqueen if you take it easy Thurs/Fri you should be ok by Sat, however everyone is different so make sure you ask for help from someone if you still don't feel up to it.
Listen lady I am ABSOLUTELY with you on the ttc.
I could really do with some handholding through the next couple of months so you won't be on your own.
Next week we shall start a new thread if you feel up to it.

Hulababy · 19/01/2005 16:48

Take care tomorrow dramaqueen. (((hugs))) Thinking of you.

girlfromipanema · 19/01/2005 17:13

you sound really strong dramaqn, and I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.
I agree, dh and I have been trying to concentrate on the positive in this sad time, ie how much we appreciate and feel lucky to have each other and ds at all.
Yes please with another thread (nervous to talk about ttc......) but you guys name it and I'm there.
plz don't feel you have to reply to this msg dramaqn, just hope you can do and get whatever you need to look after yourself.

hester · 19/01/2005 17:32

(((hugs))) dramaqueen. I'll be thinking of you.

Spacecadet · 19/01/2005 19:51

Dramaqueen, I am so, so sorry, I hoped and prayed that they had made a mistake, I will be thinking of you on thurs and I am so sorry that this has happened to you {{{hugs}}}

TeaTime · 19/01/2005 23:38

Another refugee from the 'Expecting in August' thread I'm afraid - had my follow up scan today (after bleeding 2 weeks ago at 7 weeks) and no sign of life, no growth, although the sac is still there. The scanner got a second person to check in case there was any little living baby in there, but there wasn't. It helped to know they'd really looked properly. Have opted to wait for nature to do its thing - I suppose everyone is different and it doesn't bother me that 'Dot' is not growing. That she ever arrived is a big miracle and I'm in no hurry to say goodbye. Thinking of you Dramaqueen for the op tomorrow - it may still come to that if nothing happens naturally for me. I was pretty sure that I was no longer pregnant so the scan result was not a horrible shock, just very very sad. Has anyone else just waited for a natural miscarriage? How long did it take to start?

dramaqueen72 · 20/01/2005 00:05

teatime, i am so sorry. i dont know how long it will take, i understand most hospitals have a set period of time they will let you wait before calling you in. i hope it happens how you want.
i think that was one of the things that helped me decide to have surgery again - the fact that the other 2 options could end up there anyhow. last time i had a missed m/c i had already gone nearly 4 wks -without realising it- according to dating scans, so i tend to think my body just hangs on to stuff and i could of had a trumatising long wait. i think missed m/c can be particularly cruel. seems a lot of casualties from due in august...... shame.
sorry you had to join us.
thanks for wishing me well for tomorrow. or today rather. if i could just get dd to sleep i could rest up for the op....but no shes a live wire tonight...sigh.
please keep your fingers crossed for me everyone. for the surgery. i am scared silly. big wuss!

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TeaTime · 20/01/2005 00:33

Fingers and toes crossed for you dq! I'm sure you'll be fine. Just been given a date for ds's grommet operation (2 years 10 months) - next Weds and am telling myself that hospitals know what they're doing these days, general anaesthetics are safe etc etc so can relate to the nervousness thing!

Another reason I decided to wait for the mo is that I feel OK in myself and am quite busy at work so it's just 'easier' to carry on than have appointments, admissions etc I know it wouldn't take long though and I might have to go through it anyway. I think 2 weeks is the time period they've given me before I need to check back.

Hope your dd has settled down - funny how they 'know' when you desperately need rest and don't let you have it!! I had about 1 hour's sleep the night before the interview for my present job with ds (then 10 months) leading me a right song and dance all night! Got it though luckily!

girlfromipanema · 20/01/2005 08:50

Teatime so sorry to see your name here, sorry for your sake, there are so many of us aren't there?
Dramaqn, thinking of you loads today and hope you're ok, I'm a hospiphobe too, there's no rationalising out of it is there? Take care and hope you got some sleep last night and the your dd settled in the end.... big big hugs

Bella23 · 20/01/2005 08:57

Teatime - I am so sorry to see you on this thread. There are quite a few of us from the August thread, it really is heartbreaking!
I have taken great confort though from the fact that I am not alone going through this, I hope it helps you a little.
Hang in there and if you ever want to have a sob or a "why me?" then we are here to listen.
Take care and lots of love to you and your family

girlfromipanema · 20/01/2005 17:03

Thinking of you dramaqn and hoping you're through to the other side and feeling not too bad....
Hope everyone else is well and Teatime - you've been on my mind a lot today.
I feel utterly flat today. Had not a terrible day today and looking forward to my birthday treat this w/end but am dreading next week when mother will have left me to fend for myself with ds.

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