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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

Anyone else miscarrying now?

85 replies

girlfromipanema · 13/01/2005 08:56

Have been miscarrying since yesterday but it's been threatening since the week-end. Have lots of support but it is lonely isn't it? Any company would be very welcome....

OP posts:
ja9 · 13/01/2005 09:02

so sorry.

i just cant imagine.

buckets of love to you.

Hausfrau · 13/01/2005 09:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dawnybabs26 · 13/01/2005 09:11

Dear girlfrompanema

{{{{{{big hugs}}}}}} sweetie, you're right, it is a very lonely thing to go through, even if you do have lots of support from loved ones.

I'm really so sorry, I know exactly what you're going through, I had a missed miscarriage last november, and I still think about it every day.

I found mumsnet a real help after miscarrying, reading about peoples experiences really does help you to realise that you're not alone.

Sending you lots of {{{hugs}}} and a big cuddly duvet!

Take care,

Dawn.

Azure · 13/01/2005 09:29

Girlfromipanema, I've been there twice so know what you're going through. It's such an incredibly awful thing. Don't be afraid to cry and cry and cry if that's what you need to do - I preferred to do that by myself, but that's just me. Don't set yourself any deadlines to "get over it" - it just won't happen. I know there are a couple of people from the "Due August 2005" thread who are unfortunately in a similar situation, so hopefully they will see this thread. Take care of yourself.

KristinaM · 13/01/2005 09:31

So sorry....I've been there...but still dont know what to say

dramaqueen72 · 13/01/2005 09:40

hi, i wanted to say hello and hope youre doing okay today? am sat waiting for my missed m/c to 'do' whatever its going to do, so am not where your at yet, but at a very scary point all the same. feeling pretty destroyed today.

pinkmama · 13/01/2005 09:42

Just wanted say am thinking of you girfromipanema and dramaqueen. How bloody awful for you both. I'm so sorry.

ghosty · 13/01/2005 09:43

Hugs to you both ...
I have been there too ... it is soul destroying, the waiting, the 'event', the whole lot ...
Hang in there ...
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Marina · 13/01/2005 10:00

Been there too, and seen someone very close to me through it as well, hugs and support to you both. Vent as much as you like here if it helps.

Original poster
girlfromipanema · 13/01/2005 10:12

thanks for all your thoughts and company, I was one of those on the Aug2005 thread until this morning Azure, lovely to hear from you.... dramaqueen72, I've changed my name, don't feel like Bloatella any more. My ma is being so sweet and is making me some tea now.
I feel very odd about it,either crying or completely cold and practical, one or the other - very strange. My ma says it might be a little bit of shock, not quite having taken it in. Thinking of you lots too dramaqn72, and sending you my best, it was like seeing an old friend's name when I read this thread just now.
I had no idea this is what a mc could be like, I can't believe how much bleeding there is, it's shocking, but my sis says it can go on for a week. I think I'm holding back from accepting all this until after my little boys birthday party at the w/end. family is saying chill out but I can't of course and am dreading it and not being ready. Scan tomorrow will at least confirm what I know already but all a bit grim. dh finding it much harder than me, didn't realise how invested he was. thanks so much, going to bed now.

OP posts:
dramaqueen72 · 13/01/2005 10:20

oh i'm glad i found you girl! i missed you! isnt it absolutely awful where we are? i havent told anyone yet, so struggling with being normal, but your mum making you tea sounds lovely. i'm sorry your at the bleeding part. i do almost wish i was there tho, this waiting is killing me. i hope your ds birthday goes well, how funny, my ds is 13 this weekend too i know the timing is crap for us/them.
cant remember, has this happened to you before?
i hope well, no chance of my dd letting me do that but i'd love to
take care of yourself
dq......x

Original poster
girlfromipanema · 13/01/2005 10:47

glad you came here so quickly too dramaqn72! I felt so strange leaving our aug thread, really really sad. the gulf between preg and mc is so huge isn't It? It's like one state brings you closer to the whole world and part of some huge group happiness and a mc leaves you just so alone, it's like no one can come all the way there with you. So much empathy for the waiting. don't know where my emotions are but maybe they can take longer? Is it hard not having told anyone? I felt immediately better just having told a friend this a.m.
I haven't had a mc before no. But it took almost 2 yrs to conc. ds during which time every period felt like a nightmare but that wasn't like this... take care of yourself and i am thinking of you all day.
thanks for all msgs and all the best - my ma is about to march me to bed.

OP posts:
fisil · 13/01/2005 10:57

big hugs. I know what you mean about the lonliness. Everyone I love was so wonderful and supportive, but I knew they were mourning too and I felt guilty going on about it the whole time, and I didn't want to bring it up with them if they happened to be having a good 5 minutes! Being on MN was wonderful - there was always a shoulder to cry on when you needed it. No-one ever gets fed up with you coming on and saying how sad you are. I am sad today because this day last year was when I started my last period which became the beginning of the pg which ended in mc. I know that sounds obscure - but that is how much it keeps hitting you - and you have every reason to feel down and want to come and talk to us all.

MINNIE1 · 13/01/2005 15:10

Sending you hugs ((((((((((hugs)))))))))
I MC in june and it was a lonely time, although DP was great and was there for me, I felt nobody knew the pain i was going through.. Take as much time as you need for yourself, and please let us know how your feeling..

berolina · 13/01/2005 15:26

girlfromipanema and dramaqueen - - big big hugs to you both. Miscarried in July and can really empathise. Wishing you lots of strength for the time ahead - along with the opportunity to not be strong sometimes and just grieve.

biglips · 13/01/2005 15:29

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}} TO EVERYONE WHO HAS MISCARRIED - IVE GOT NO EXPERIENCE TO MYSELF [SAD]

Bella23 · 13/01/2005 15:35

Huge sympathies, I have just miscarried this week and too had to leave the "due in August thread". Mine was also a missed miscarriage so ended up having to go into hospital yesterday to have a op to remove it - very distressing but at least brought me some closure. I went in yesterday to discuss options and ended up saying I wanted the op and they had a space so all a bit of a whirlwind!
The thing to remember is you are not alone - would be happy to discuss any thoughts etc any time.
Be nice to yourself and give yourself plenty of time to cry. I found that for the first few days i found out I could hardly walk into a room without wanting to sob! Let it all out and any time you want to talk I am here.

MINNIE1 · 13/01/2005 16:23

Bella23,
((((((((HUGS))))))))))) so sorry for your loss. Will thinking of all you ladys who have mc over the last while..

Bella23 · 13/01/2005 16:26

Thanks Minnie

RudyDudy · 13/01/2005 16:29

((((hugs))) to you all. Be nice to yourselves...

dramaqueen72 · 13/01/2005 17:28

bella, i'm sorry for you too, isnt it crap? i'd like to say welcome to the thread, but its not a board we want to be at is it so i will just say hi. tell me how youre recovery goes as i dont think i will have much help afterwards, at home i mean, and need to know how bad it is/isnt. cant remember from last time. which was may 2002.
the weird 'wonderful' world of waiting is def getting to me. i will ask for the surgery next wed when i get my second scan. horrible life right now, i am glad you posted on my other miserable thread too. we need to stick together.
tell me do you intend to try again? or not? i dont know right now. i really think this takes some getting over. i tried the minute i could last time and got pg -successfully- within thre months. seems a whole lifetime ago.
hugs to you and girl.

Original poster
girlfromipanema · 13/01/2005 17:37

so good to read all your messages.
have had a real sleep this afternoon which was good because its much much more painful today.
a friend took ds this pm which was great so the house was quiet and just the sounds of my m ironing and listening to radio 4.
feel weirdly cut off from what's going on, don't think it's hit me yet somehow maybe the scan tomorrow will help me get my head round it.
bella23 that's so hard. Were they nice in the hospital? how are you dramaqueen72? Thinking of you. thanks thanks

OP posts:
hester · 13/01/2005 17:37

Oh, this is so sad. Big hugs to you both. I miscarried in November and felt so devastated. Am feeling stronger all the time, but the feelings are still so close and I shudder at what you are going through. Lots and lots of love from me.

Bella23 · 13/01/2005 18:06

Drama Queen I really feel for you. I am not lucky enough to have a cny children yet so don't have to cope with looking after anybody at home. Physically I feel fine after the op. The hospital staff were so nice, i was in Kings in London where they seem very good at dealing with emotions and everybody i spoke to were very sympathetic.
As for trying again well I have to admit that i think i am going to just wait a couple of weeks and then get straight back to it. At the moment I feel that is the only way to deal with it for me. I think for the first few days it is just such a shock that you can't really take it in and then all the waiting for something to happen is just not fair!
Hang in there and I do think like smeone said earlier that the second scan almost helps in a way as a kind of goodbye!
Make sure you both get lots of cuddles. My DH has been so great and my cats have quite literally got me through the day with constant cuddles and purring - all helps!
WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS

Bella23 · 13/01/2005 18:15

DramaQueen just beein thinking that if you have already decided that you want a ERPC then you could push to speed things up. I was told of misses m/c last friday and told to come back in a week for another scan but by the Tuesday decided that I couldn't wait so phoned up and managed to get in the next day. Once there I insisted on having it asap and luckily they had a slot free yesterday.
Sorry didn't mean to droan on there - what I am trying to get at is - if you don't want to wait then phone them and push to be seen sooner??