Anyone else miscarrying now?

[girlfromipanema]

Have been miscarrying since yesterday but it's been threatening since the week-end. Have lots of support but it is lonely isn't it? Any company would be very welcome....

[Spacecadet]

dont know what to say , so much sad news, my heart goes out to everyone on here that is going through this

[girlfromipanema]

teatime, I'm so so so sorry for your loss. I don't know what to say but I'm thinking of you and sending you hugs....
I stopped feeling pg the w/end before last (8 wks pg), spotted for a few days and then m/c from then until now really, it's almost finished thank god (unless they find unfinished business on the 25th). I hope it's all gone naturally because it's been really grim and to have an op on top would feel just too much! But I'm sure it would be fine. If you do lose it naturally please let me know because I was surprised at how little the profs tell you about what it's like. I'm so so sorry for you and us all! I have had my mother here for the whole week and I've really needed her. The first few days I could not have coped without her to help with ds and am only just now starting to feel a little energy. My sis (a nurse) said I shouldn't be surprised to feel shattered for another whole week! Any way all the best to you Teatime, I couldn't believe it when I saw your name, I thought she's thinking of us how thoughtful.
hugs and spk soon, take care.

[TeaTime]

Not sure whether to post on this or the other thread - so will do on both. I've also left the 'due in August' thread with heavy heart today - scan confirmed what I 'knew' - the pregnancy had stopped although the sac was still there. I'm going to wait for it all to come away naturally - just seems right for me but no idea how long that will take. I relate to what you said Bella about our bodies really wanting to be pregnant - I feel that mine is holding on to 'Dot' although it's all over. Mentally I suppose I'm still holding on too and can't face the finality of the D & C.
The waiting for today's scan was mind-boggling - reading your pre-scan postings now I relate to your agony Dramaqueen, time goes into a weird warp of s-l-o-w-i-n-g down just when you least need it to. 25th must seem an age away girlfromipanema - but perhaps it's not quite as bad as waiting to find out if the baby is still alive or not?

[Spacecadet]

im not too bad today girl, it is so kind of you too ask when you are suffering.

[dramaqueen72]

well told you all everything on the other m/c thread, so no point in repeating myself. do feel like we've been on a journey together, we should all meet up or get webcams or something...a new thread to stay in touch. as awful as this whole thig is, i hope it marks the start of a whole new episode, full of good things like new HPT that are positive, or relationships that become stronger from such bad things. you know what i mean. cyber hugs out to you girlies.((((hugs)))

[Bella23]

Dramaqueen - finally Wed has arrived, thank god!
Will be thinking of you today, let us know how it goes.xx

[girlfromipanema]

dramaqn, i love bella's "step away with your arms in the air" - that is so excellent, it sounds like good advice too. Thinking of you tonight and tomorrow morning - it is a.m. isn't it? Hope the whole thing goes quickly as possible and that the wait isn't too long.
yes my bday begins with a four for the first time ... yikes, had a really nice meal tonight and at the w/end having a big day and night out with dh on our own.... can't wait. we had mil's cake tonight with four candles my ds helped me blow out, a happy evening.
ohmigod, the thought of trying again is very scary, am going to be nervous as a cat, drinking grotesque omega oil, and looking around for you guys on other threads!
Take care dq et al.....

[dramaqueen72]

mishi, i remember waiting for af afterwards...weird long wait for something you dont really want right? hope your cycle is quickly back to routine and you can ttc as soon as you feel ready.
girl -i hope youre having a good birthday.
its nearly wednesday. i should be 'in control' and know my exact options tomorrow. no more hanging about feeling in limbo. have no nails left -biten to death- and am not in very approachable mood. ah well. hope everyone forgives me.

[mishi1977]

DQ i am sorry about your wait in the maternity hosp...it is the same for our hospital[maternity] but at least ur nurses where worried about your stability...i was told in the bed i could go as soon as i was dressed...not so much as a bye..lol anyways just wanted to say i can undersatnd as over the xmas tht was my 3rdmc...i have had one successful pregnancy out of four so am wary of doing it again but then my ds is only 15mths and such a joy that i do want more children..it is a hard decision to make....we are not sure wether to ttc straight away or to wait a while..say 6-12mths...who knows...suppose fate will play a big part as i am still waiting for my first post missed mc AF, oh well im just sort of rambling at the mo sorry
take care
mishi

[Bella23]

Dramaqueen step away with your arms in the air!
Keep away from surfing. Trust me as I am the queen of reading every single sight and the only result is that you drive yourself mad with other people's stories!
Today is nearly over and then you will have all the answers you need tomorrow so keep strong!

[dramaqueen72]

happy birthday to you girl!!!! 30? 35? 40? please dont say 21!!! oh i hope your birthday lifts you. a birthday cake? oh how lovely. i made my own last year.....sad huh? so youre close to your son birthdate wise? how nice. in this house so far, no-one shares a birthday month. good job really, my kids are very territorial about them! to day i had some horrible feeling s towards a pg woman....and now i feel bad, but i cant bear to know its still happening successfully everywhere but here with me. you know after a D&c at our maternity hospital, they make your dh go get the car -cause youre abit wobbly from the op still- and they sit you in the entrance lounge to wait. its absolutely full of huge 'in labour' sized pg ladies, and over the moon new dads, all making phone calls. and last time just little me, in the corner of much happiness, feeling so very sad. i've told dh i'm not waiting there ever again. as its a maternity hosp. they cant really help it, but it feels so deliberate at the time.
stupidly have been to an internet site about misdiagnosed m/c. think i told you this already (sorry) anyhow i did leave my 'story' and got lots of replies. most saying not ot have a d&c and how bad they were for you, and how at my scan measurements they could be wrong about dates and it could all be terrible..etc etc....so instead of finding comfort, i got very upset. am trying to write site off as over zealous prolife type sort of place, but of course somethings they said stuck in my head. why oh why do i do the internet research thing??
okay so thats not a very happy birthday post is ti. so sorry. tell me all about your little low key gifts, and what sort of meal youre having a the weekend.
bella thankyou for positive thought. i conceived mollie (youngest dd) within 3 mths of my d&c last time. i do really think a d&c is prob quite good at getting it all fresh and ready for next time, however awful it is for us to go thro. i must add i was a total wreck during last pg, obviously. despite being promised many scans, i only got one early one. if i ever do this again, i am paying for private ones all the time to reassure me. tell me, are you all doing it again?

[girlfromipanema]

dramaqn, I keep checking to see if you've posted. to distract you, it's my birthday today (a milestone unfortunately...) and luckily I didn't organise a big party just a night out with dh at the w/end! but am having a lovely low key day with cards and presents and my mother who I'm holding onto for as long as poss..... and I just found a birthday cake in the garage that my mil had hidden there for me at the w/end. she is a sneaky one.
had to call the nct to ask them not to call me for antenatal classes then felt really upset leaving this msg on an a/machine saying I'm not pregnant any more...... sounded SO TRAGIC and awful, think I am continuing to be in denial about what's happened sometimes....
I didn't realise you were still m/s - that is too much - I'm willing time to speed up for you until tomorrow, all the best and to you all too.........

[Bella23]

I have started to think of my m/c that wouldn't expel as my body saying that it is really good at carrying a pregnancy and just doesn't want to give up easily. The embryo didn't have the right information to carry on but my body was determined! I know it seems really unfair that other people don't have to go through this waiting drama but I think it just means our bodies really want to be pregnant!

[dramaqueen72]

aw! ladies dont get me crying! but thankyou so so much for nice words to help with tomorrow. i'm so scared of tomorrow i cant concentrate today...cant settle to anything, cant seem to get anything done either. never mind. people keep asking me what can they do to help. i have no idea, absolutely no idea, but i wish they wouldnt ask, just one more thing for me to worry about! today i feel very sick (why has my m/s stayed? thats so not fair)and restless. wishing my life away...... hope you all have a good day
post lots and keep my mind occupied.

[Bella23]

Hang in there people. I woke up this morning and feel like I can see the small glimmering light at the end of the tunnel. Dramaqueen I know it must seem like time is moving soooo slowly but tomorrow is just around the corner and we are all thinking of you.

[girlfromipanema]

space, your msg was so moving, thinking of you and sending hugs... how are you today?
Bella excited for your project too - would love to know the colour.
dramaqn one more day as you say, thinking of you.
yes my m is a sweet heart she's staying til thurs, don't want her to go, feel very regressed!
woke up today feeling brighter, sunshine helps, trying to think of a project too.
thanks for your company all - have a good day,

[Spacecadet]

Trying to do so dm, I got depressed because I was rushed to hospital 4 months ago with a suspected blood clot on the lung, everything was fine but it set off a spiral of panic, its more panic with me tbh, but some days are down days, on November 12th when my sam would have been 14 I felt very low and have found it hard to pick myself up again really, most days are ok.Not long to weds now and I am trying to think some positive thoughts for you.

[dramaqueen72]

oh oh thats what i'm doing! or going to be. well not actually painting but revamping an old fireplace/over mantle. thought a project would help me 'focus' afterwards. migt kill myself in the effort as its very old and needs much TLC.
girl i think i want that oil now. could do with skin shining and looking wonderous. all of me feels abit 'grey' right now......bluuuuuuurgh.
nearly wednesday right? just another day and a long evening to go right? sigh.
space, sorry you feel sad. stop and count your blessings for a moment. sit down relax and breathe deeply. and UNcancel the cbt. everything will be okay. everything WILL fall into place.
girl, i really like the sound of your m. i could do with someone to 'boss' me around and order me to put feet up etc. sometimes i feel the only grown up in this house!!

[Bella23]

Dramaqueen don't worry I didn't think you were being funny about saying I was over it, just me having a moan! It takes a hell of a lot to offend me!
I do agree it is better to be "after" than "before and waiting"...hang in there.
I bought some paint today and am going to start my DIY project on the lounge, thought it would keep me busy as socialising doesn't feellike an option at the moment. Lets just hope that in a couple of months I don't look at the walls and think "what the f**k was i thinking with that colour!"

[girlfromipanema]

iknow iknow iknow you can get it in tablet form and I had some pregnatastic capsules but this organicshamanic wunderoil said that it was better, faster, more vitaminous and omegalovely and cold-pressed through the wings of angels and would turn me into Gwyneth Paltrow crossed with Liv Tyler and my skin would shine like sunlight on a mountain lake etc etc.
sorry losing it now, cackling like mrs rochester in the attic, rattling chains, m bringing me tea telling me to calm down, need to put feet up and watch university challenge, strap a poultice to my head etc etc thanks for the craic!

[Spacecadet]

You are welcome girl, I will think of you on the 25th, dm thankyou for the kind compliment, I only wish I could therap myself so well sometimes!

[dramaqueen72]

girls you made me laugh! i have a line of vitamins to start taking after wednesday. all sorts of weird and wonderful things.. we seems to be very alike here, matching kaftans next thankyou for making me smile. girl -you realise you can buy that stuff in a tablet so you dont have to taste it?!! bella, i didnt mean to say you were 'over it',all done and dusted,sorry. i appreciate how long it is to ever get 'by' it, never mind over it. of course emotionally we will be scarred alot longer. it is exactly like the unknown, because it is so very different for everyone. but having this thread and this board helps alot right? please rant and vent all you want. make a change from me doing it!!! i do wish -weirdly- i was where you are tho, because this limbo is (still!) killing me. i'd rather be after the surgery if i cant be pg.
well ladies, time to veg in front of the televison for abit. (did you see 3 celebrities and a baby last night!? OMG!) will check in on us later.

[girlfromipanema]

but bella, when I was still pregnant I bought some vile organic super omega oil from sainsbury's (for about 6 pounds)which has all those things you get from fish but from hemp oil and essence of nirvana (ykwim) and you're sposed to take 3 tsps a day and it tastes disgusting. well I'm still taking it because I'm telling myself it'll help me heal better.... but it is so so so so revolting

[Bella23]

Dramaqueen I totally understand that you are in limbo and it really is f**king awful! I particularly like your description of the vicrorian lady screeching in a high pitched tone GFP!! I keep feeling like that! Am so tempted to do it especially if one more person asks me if I had a good Xmas and New Year! This is happening at work from people I haven't seen yet.
Dramaqueen I do feel like I am moving forward but it is a strange feeling - a bit like stumbling into the unknown as I am not sure how you "move on" exactly! I have however convinced myself though that my body knows when I am thinking negative thoughts and therefore am bloody determined to think positively. I also seem to have turned into one of these hippy types who has bought loads of royal jelly and Aloe vera in an attempt to take anything that may help my body to heal. At this rate I may have to start wearing kaftans also!
Anyway enough blathering on from me.
GFP - I am wishing time to go quickly until your scan on Wed xx

[girlfromipanema]

Yes just crossed! Yes not as far as some! Please feel free to be demented here with me. I feel like the physical process is starting to end (which is a kind of end to something) but the emotional is sort of frozen. But hope I can be sensitive to your limbo til weds - not knowing must be intolerable, like part of you is in one of those waiting rooms from hell. But for what it's worth I'm waiting with you and am not moving unless I am too demented to be good company..... I am really feeling a little odd today maybe with all the busyness of the w/end it's only just starting to dawn. thanks thanks