Missed miscarriage

[Armdjm]

Hello, I am just looking for any advice (preferably from NHS experience) as I know no one who has gone through this to ask.

I am 9 1/2 weeks pregnant, had a private scan yesterday which confirmed heart stopped at 6+4. I had a gut feeling (hence the scan) I can’t explain why as I still have all my symptoms.

I rang my local unit and went today for a scan who again confirmed the same as the private scan but are making us go back in 14 days for a re scan before I can have any medical management.

it just feels cruel and I have so many worries.
Will it happen naturally when it stopped so long ago?
can I end up with an infection with it just left there?
Will the NHS offer surgical management over tablets?

I just feel tortured

thank you to anyone who has read this!

Thank you @Armdjm that’s really helpful to know. My bleeding hasn’t been red / heavy / clots since Wednesday but I am still getting random bouts of brown / stringy (sorry this is so TMI) so assuming this is old blood and may be stopping, but it’s also irregular in the amount varying from spotting to hitting the pad. I have tightening / pulling around my uterus on and off at the moment so unsure if there is more that needs to be expelled or maybe it’s my uterus shrinking.

I am due to do the test officially in 10 days so will have to see what happens between now and then, although was told the bleeding should only last 2 weeks max so may contact them Tuesday if I’m still feeling abit off.

Thank you for your help, it’s so stressful as I really thought the MVA would be the end of all this but the worrying continues 😣

@KT199 It is such a worry isn’t it, I would definitely phone if you’re worried about bleeding and hopefully they could offer you a scan to check for any retained product. It was my biggest worry after surgery. Yeah it’s probably why they tell us to wait so long to test after surgery because it takes so long to fade but I’m the biggest control freak and needed to take one every day which I wish I hadn’t!

@WildFinch @Armdjm thank you both, I wouldn’t have even thought about jewellery, I’ll definitely be sure to take off what I can. Both my trusted dog watchers are on holiday so I’ll probably be without DH for at least part of the day as the dog is useless on his own (joys of having DH working from home!) so entertainment will definitely be needed..

Thanks @Armdjm. I did call them this morning but as I aren’t flooding a pad an hour and only losing old blood, they won’t consider a test until next week and can’t do anything for the time being. But if it’s happening and still positive at the 3 week mark I will be re-scanned. 6 days to that point at the moment and absolutely no decline in the colour of my tests, still as dark as the test line 😩 and no change in the bleeding.

@KT199 oh bless you it’s such a big waiting game isn’t it. I felt like I couldn’t even begin to process/move on until that test was negative so I know how you feel. Hopefully the bleeding stops and your tests go negative or if they don’t that they get you in quickly for a rescan after the 6 days! I always felt like they should just rescan everyone after the surgery to make sure nothing is left behind

Make sure you take iron supplements for a while. They were not recommended to me and I didn’t think of it at the time but when I look back at photos of that time now, I have ridiculously black circles under my eyes and am really pale white, and also had cold sores - for months afterwards.

My medical management had to be done twice and I was bleeding for more than three weeks. There wasn’t any follow up care ot advice at all as it was during lockdown, but a good multivitamin and iron might have done the world of good from a physical viewpoint.

@Armdjm It’s the strangest feeling looking at that test and wanting it to be negative too, but I don’t feel like I can get back to normal and stop worrying until that happens. I agree with the re-scan after surgery, it would make more sense and it least we would know where we stand.

I feel a little extra anxious as we are due to get married in 9 weeks abroad and this puts that at risk too, as if it’s still going on we can’t go ahead with it. I just assumed it would be successful first try and not fall into the 1 in 100 statistic of retained products!

@FoxDox Thank you that’s really useful advice, I have noticed I am looking quite pale already. I will pick up my supplement routine pre TTC and add in the iron.

Hi folks. I am also sadly a member of the MMC club. Second pregnancy, two year old daughter already. Went in for my NIPT yesterday evening at 9+5 and baby was measuring 7 weeks with no heartbeat. We were shocked to say the least. Waiting on a phone call from the EPAU to officially confirm. Feeling very flat at the moment.

@SureLook sorry you’re joining this awful club. I hope EPU are able to see you soon and it’s not too drawn out for you. Sending love.

TMI alert but I think we’re mostly past that aren’t we…

Did anyone who had the evacuation under GA suffer with pain when going to the toilet. I’m struggling to know what’s normal and what I should be worried about. I hadn’t been able to go for a number 2 properly since the surgery. Even sitting on the toilet for a number 1 felt uncomfortable.. Read that GA can cause constipation so I wasn’t too worried but I got so uncomfortable I took a laxative last night and well let’s just say I’m no longer constipated but I’m still in pain when I sit on the toilet. I’ve literally never suffered with constipation before (if anything I lean toward the opposite problem) so I don’t know if laxatives make you crampy or if it’s still pain from the surgery and when I should be concerned. Paracetamol hadn’t touched it hence the laxative which was probably not the smartest of moves but here we are!

@Confusedmermaid1 don't worry about TMI I'm here for all the advice/experiences. I definitely had pain going to the loo after my GA for MMC. How many week post surgery are you now? The morphine/co-codamol made me constipated so I stopped taking that. I did so much googling as going to the loo (especially no 2) was so painful, sharp pains rather than an ache and constipation. I do get constipation before my period which I think is progesterone related?
I read some threads on MN that suggested a correlation with a retroverted uterus which I have and possible irritation with your bowel? But I never bothered to speak to the GP about it. It did eventually disappear but I remember being crampy and having the sharp pains for a couple of weeks.
I hope you get some relief soon.

Thanks @WildFinch. The surgery was Monday but the pain has been getting steadily worse (switched to cocodamol which still hasn’t touched the pain) then I passed a massive clot this afternoon so I contacted GP who sent me to hospital for an examination and they suspect an infection based on bloods they did so they’ve started me on two antibiotics.. not sure if that’s what’s causing pain but we will soon see. The sharpness of the pain is what shocked me, I passed gas earlier and it took my breath away with the pain which is why I was so worried.

Oh gosh @Confusedmermaid1 that does sound bad. I'm sorry. Really glad you were referred quickly and they picked up the infection. Hopefully the antibiotics will start to make a difference soon and you get some relief.

Can I ask for anyone who went themselves naturally at home after finding out they'd had an MMC - did you have any indication that it was about to happen? I don't know if I'm imagining things but I think I'm cramping/sore back but then nothing. Any advice would be helpful!

@Confusedmermaid1 so sorry you’re going though that! Glad they got you seen and started on antibiotics! But I would imagine infection would cause pain too so hopefully that will ease your pain once they have kicked in!

@SureLook so I didn’t wait I had surgery but it took a few weeks to go through the scans etc and get it booked in and I kept thinking it would happen on its own as I would get cramp and back pain but nothing ever came of it! Whether it would have if I waited even longer I’m not sure but by the time of my surgery the baby had stopped developing 4-5 weeks before with no bleeding whatsoever

Thanks for the reply @Armdjm. I'll be a day off eleven weeks when I go in for my scan on Wednesday which will be four weeks for me too from when baby stopped developing. I've had back pain and some cramps but I don't think it's related. I'm definitely leaning towards surgical management at this stage.

@SureLook yeah my hospital didn’t even suggest expectant management but to be honest I made it very clear I just wanted it over so think they didn’t see the point in suggesting it. I was the same I felt like if my body was going to react to what had happened it would have in that time frame which may not be fully true it may have just needed longer but I knew mentally I just needed it over with

@Armdjm I feel the exact same. I don't think it's gonna happen on it's own and I don't want it to drag on any longer than it already has. Physically I feel fine but mentally I'm all over the place. Very up and down and flat. I feel in limbo. Don't even really want to leave the house much.

@SureLook I was exactly the same. I used to feel like if I left the house everyone would know I was carrying a baby around that had died, it was so strange but I just felt like everyone knew. I was also scared it would happen in the middle of a shop so barely left the house between my scans, in fact I’m not sure I did! Your feelings are very valid. I felt instant relief after my surgery which is strange to say because it was devastating but I was desperate to have the physical situation over as mentally I struggled so so much

@Armdjm I'm repeating myself here, but, again I feel the exact same! It's a very strange feeling. I'll report back after my scan on Wednesday.

@SureLook yes please let us know how it goes on Wednesday! Will be thinking of you

Good luck on Wednesday and sorry for your loss @SureLook sending love!!

My scan today confirmed retained products, I feel so fed up and drained from all of this!

Sorry to hear that @KT199. Had you already had some sort of management?

I had, I had surgical management 3 weeks ago tomorrow but my tests were still incredibly positive so they re-scanned me today! Of course better to know, and there’s now a plan in place but the fact it’s dragging on so much is like emotional and physical torture!

@KT199 I’m so sorry it’s dragging on for you.. it’s so hard waiting for a negative test, I know I didn’t feel I could move forward last time until I got one
I hope they manage to resolve it for you as soon as possible!