Missed miscarriage

[Armdjm]

Hello, I am just looking for any advice (preferably from NHS experience) as I know no one who has gone through this to ask.

I am 9 1/2 weeks pregnant, had a private scan yesterday which confirmed heart stopped at 6+4. I had a gut feeling (hence the scan) I can’t explain why as I still have all my symptoms.

I rang my local unit and went today for a scan who again confirmed the same as the private scan but are making us go back in 14 days for a re scan before I can have any medical management.

it just feels cruel and I have so many worries.
Will it happen naturally when it stopped so long ago?
can I end up with an infection with it just left there?
Will the NHS offer surgical management over tablets?

I just feel tortured

thank you to anyone who has read this!

@Armdjm so glad the scans went well and that you got some private ones in. Do they do only transvaginal scans at that stage? I can imagine the anxiousness, I would be the exact same but nearly at that 12 weeks mark now which is incredible. Sorry about the sickness this time round, hopefully calms down for you soon!

@Bellebg that is incredible news, so so exciting! Hope you’re able to enjoy this trimester a lot more :)

I’m doing much much better, thank you. Some moments it still hits me and I can’t believe everything that has just happened. We found out yesterday that our close friend’s are expecting and it brings with it a lot of mixed emotions. However, we took a month to just heal mentally after AF returned post surgery and have just now started our TTC journey. Fingers crossed for this cycle🤞 xxx

@LimeStork I had an abdominal at 8 weeks because the place I went to only do internal if they can’t see what they need to but then went to window to the womb at 10 weeks and they did internal. I know it feels like it’s been a really slow 12 weeks I think because of the anxiety so hoping once I’ve had my nhs scan i can feel a bit less anxious!

This happened to us, one of my husbands friends found out they were expecting (at 24 weeks she has the coil in and they were finished having children) and it really bothered me and then I got upset that it bothered me because I never want to be that person that can’t be happy for someone else but it’s just a very hard thing to hear isn’t it when you’ve been through what we’ve been through. You just have to be kind to yourself

I don't know if I'm experiencing my 2nd miscarriage if I am it's different. I noticed a tiny amount when I was 5 weeks 6 days and a tiny amount the next day just once more so light pink and smooth on the 2nd day. Now is the 3rd day without seeing any blood. I'm waiting on ultrasound next week.

@LovingFawn I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope today goes as well as it can for you and you get plenty of rest and recovery time. Thinking of you xxx

@BeCraftyWriter hopefully it wasn’t anything! I know a lot of people who have bled in pregnancy (myself included at 14 weeks with my daughter) and it’s not been anything to worry about. Keeping everything crossed that all is okay!

Thank you so much for all your well wishes and support ladies. It helps so much not to feel alone. ❤️ My op was bumped numerous times but all went as well as can be expected once I was in late afternoon. Sobbing mess in recovery but feel lighter now. Sure it’ll all come in waves. Home late last night and very glad to be in my own bed.

Question - did any of you get sent home with daily anti-coagulant + buscopan injections to do? I’ll obviously do them but was a little surprised.

Thank you too for sharing your wonderful baby news! It fills me with hope. I’m sure it must be an anxious time, but it’ll be worth every second when you have your little one in your arms. 💜

@LovingFawn glad it went as well as it could. Watch for a big hormonal drop about day 4/5 it took me by surprise and it was a hard day so get in some snacks and just chill!

No I didn’t get given any injections but prophylactic tinzaparin is never a bad idea after an operation! Buscopan is really good for wind type pain but hopefully you’ll not be in too much pain! I took paracetamol the first night for the cramping then actually didn’t need anything after that recovery was suprisingly painless!

Thank you @Armdjm! That’s really good to know - will stock up on snacks and get a couple of good films lined up. ❤️

Thank you! It’s definitely my husband who has to do them, feels too odd injecting myself for some reason - thankfully his Dad is a Dr and Mum a Senior Nurse so we had a full walkthrough last time I had surgery. I had horrendous gas pains straight after despite having had enough fentanyl & oxy to tranquilise a horse 😂but just getting up and moving more has done wonders. I’ve only had paracetamol since and am perfectly comfortable. Thanks again for all your help!

@LovingFawn I had to take them daily in my 3rd trimester with my daughter due to a funny vein in my ankle and my husband had to do them and I’m a nurse! I just couldn’t no matter how much I tried 😅

I hope you have some time off to relax both physically and emotionally

I am so glad it’s not just me @Armdjm. I felt a right wimp last time! It just feels so unnatural!

Thank you. I’m currently on sabbatical anyway but my husband has been gifted the rest of the week off and can have more if needed (fortunately works for a wonderfully empathetic company) so should have plenty of time & support to relax.

When is your 12 week scan? 😍

@LovingFawn im glad you have plenty time off! My husband took the week of my op off (mine was a Monday) and I think emotionally he could have done with longer! I ended up taking about 5 weeks off after my op as I was just so emotional I knew I couldn’t put my effort into caring for other people!

My scan is next Tuesday so that is exciting. I feel a bit more human this week so hoping my symptoms will start to ease. I’ve struggled a lot with my symptoms this time and feeling like I should just be grateful and shouldn’t complain it’s been a whirlwind of emotions!

Been MIA from this thread for a while as I found out I was pregnant in early December..
Unfortunately it’s ended in another missed miscarriage, my second MMC and third miscarriage so the only sliver of silver linings is that I’m now entitled to some support.
I’ve opted for surgical management this time around so we have to go back to the hospital later to see a doctor and get that booked. Hopefully there won’t be much of a wait
I’m devastated, I was naively clinging on to hope after the last scan showed I was measuring 1-2weeks behind but had a heartbeat, none of the staff seemed concerned about the dates and I was only booked for a rescan because I was sobbing. Realistically I haven’t had hardly any symptoms of pregnancy since the start so I should have protected my heart a bit more but here we are 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Confusedmermaid1 i am so so sorry this has happened to you again. It’s so difficult when you’re measuring behind but with a heartbeat that’s what happened to me so the staff were just so hopeful I had my dates wrong which I knew I didn’t. I hope the surgical management goes smoothly for you and hopefully you will get some answers as to why it keeps happening

Well when I went back to speak to the doctor this afternoon they they said that the nurse had jumped the gun by saying I could move forward with intervention and I will need a rescan tomorrow and they recommend expectant management.. I didn’t have it in me to push back on that today so I’ll be saying tomorrow that expectant is not my preference as I’ve had no bleeding at all so far so how long will they expect me to wait realistically 🤷🏻‍♀️
The doctor said similar to me about how you can’t really know re dates etc but I track ovulation and DH and I haven’t had the baby making kind of sex since I last ovulated so I know it’s not that! I really feel the way she was saying it would give some people all the hope in the world that the scan was a mistake, it’s not fair..

I've also been a bit MIA but I have been following updates. Just wanted to say how sorry I am @Confusedmermaid1 to hear your news. It is so unfair. I've just had the one pregnancy/ MMC but I knew expectant management would be too hard for me. Have they offered you another scan to check growth?

Sending @Armdjm and @Bellebg congratulations, I'm holding on to hope following your updates. I hope the scan goes well next week @Armdjm .

@Armdjm Oh gosh, I'm not surprised! Can't imagine needing to care for others at a time like this.

Very exciting! So pleased you're starting to feel more human. Can only imagine the whirlwind of emotions but we can feel so many (all valid!) things at once. Feeling grateful... but also feeling awful!

So very sorry @Confusedmermaid1. Will be thinking of you tomorrow for your rescan and hope the doctor accepts your preference without question - these things really shouldn't be a fight, should they?! It's hard enough. Life is so terribly unfair.

@WildFinch to be honest I’m not entirely sure on the reason for the rescan as it’s only 24 hours later so presumably not enough time for significant growth anyway. The doctor insinuated that sonographers make mistakes re the heartbeat because it’s so difficult to find in early pregnancy but I should be 9 weeks, I’d understand at the 5-6week mark 🤷🏻‍♀️
It’s frustrating because the scan is 9am and the doctor is 13:30 so it means coming and going but I had no fight to argue about whether another scan was necessary.

@LovingFawn thank you, I’m so sorry for your loss as well. I hope you’re recovering as well as can be expected!

@Armdjm wishing you all the best for your scan, glad to hear your symptoms have eased slightly

So sorry to read this @Confusedmermaid1. Really hope they handle things for you in the way you want. It is horrible having to advocate for yourself at such an emotional and difficult time. Sending lots of love.

I wondered if anyone had had an MVA and how the bleeding ect was afterwards? I had pretty much nothing for a week and since Tuesday this week have had really irregular bleeding going from red and heavy, passed a few small clots, to brown, back to red and then brown again now and almost stopped. Trying not to worry too much but starting to fear I may have retained products 😣 I don’t need to do the “official” test for 11 days, but did one out of curiosity this morning and it’s still absolutely positive so not sure how quick it can change

Thankfully I had a different doctor who didn’t push back at all like the other one had so I’m booked for surgery on Monday. They’re also going to take a history from me for a referral to the recurrent miscarriage clinic while I’m there and then bloods 6 weeks after the procedure.

Can someone tell me like I’m a child what I need to take with me Monday? I know it sounds ridiculous but I’ve never had surgery and neither has DH so I’m a bit clueless! I think the doctor thought I was an idiot because I knew you couldn’t eat but I didn’t know about no tea/coffee etc 🙈

So sorry you’re going through this, but glad you’ve found a more reasonable doctor. When I went in for surgery last August, I took a change of jogging bottoms, sanitary pads, pants, some snack bars and a book. The book was the most useful as there were at least a couple of hours in recovery. Everyone at the hospital was lovely though, made it as easy as possible and I had very little pain afterwards. Hope all goes as well as it can.

@Fletchasketch thank you that’s exactly what I needed

Glad you've seen a different doctor and to hear they are referring you to the recurrent miscarriage clinic.
I echo what @Fletchasketch says. I'd never been in hospital before either. Leave all your jewellery at home. I kept my wedding ring on and they taped it up for surgery. A resuable water bottle was handy too. You're able to sip a little beforehand but I was so thirsty after. Comfy clothes and big underwear. Getting the compression socks on was very hard, not sure if there's a knack to that though!
I hope everything goes as smoothly as possible.

@KT199 so I had my surgery on a Monday (it was under GA but it’s the same physical procedure as the MVA) and barely bled until the Thursday when I bled really heavily for about 6 hours and passed lots of clots which the hospital put down to retained tissue and then bleeding failed off after that but in terms of my tests I was obsessed and tested every single day and it took 2 weeks post surgery for mine to even start to lighten and I eventually tested negative at the 3 week mark! I was so shocked at how long it took to not be blazing positive!

@Confusedmermaid1 I’m glad you’ve managed to get booked in for surgery as I know expectant management would be so hard to deal with! Same as others have said and from working in a hospital it’s the same, keep all valuables at home in terms of jewellery but anything you can’t take off/dont want to can just be taped. I went into hospital in comfy clothes and just wore the same home as you will be in a gown anyway so won’t have them on, spare underwear, pads for bleeding and then anything to keep you entertained- tablet/headphones/book etc. I know I was on an emergency list (although planned the Friday before) and i got bumped down the list quite a few times so it was a long day! I really hope it goes okay on Monday and your recovery is a smooth one and I’m so sorry again!