Missed miscarriage

[Armdjm]

Hello, I am just looking for any advice (preferably from NHS experience) as I know no one who has gone through this to ask.

I am 9 1/2 weeks pregnant, had a private scan yesterday which confirmed heart stopped at 6+4. I had a gut feeling (hence the scan) I can’t explain why as I still have all my symptoms.

I rang my local unit and went today for a scan who again confirmed the same as the private scan but are making us go back in 14 days for a re scan before I can have any medical management.

it just feels cruel and I have so many worries.
Will it happen naturally when it stopped so long ago?
can I end up with an infection with it just left there?
Will the NHS offer surgical management over tablets?

I just feel tortured

thank you to anyone who has read this!

@Armdjm It really is! You’re so right. My sonographer suggested 3 options were available - expectant, medical or surgical (under GA) but that they’d discuss that in 2weeks if it hasn’t happened naturally. After reading lots of info today, I think I’ll opt for surgical?

@LovingFawn yeah it’s good to look into all 3! I opted for surgical under GA as I just wanted it over and didn’t want to really know what was happening and for me it was the best option, recovery was very simple and even though it’s the most invasive it felt the least because I knew nothing!

@Armdjm I’m feeling much the same - I don’t deal well with uncertainty so expectant is a no go, and I don’t want to worry or distress my daughters with medical at home, so that’s a no too. Definitely reaching the point of just wanting it over now.

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. My lovely husband has been an incredible support, but while his sadness is as great as mine, the experience is different. Happy New Year. Hope 2025 is a better year for you & your family 💜

So sorry you’re going through this. I had surgical management last August and the team who looked after me were so lovely and kind. I had very little pain afterwards (didn’t even need paracetamol) some bleeding, but the mental relief that it was over was huge. So glad you have a supportive husband, it made such a difference for me. Wishing you all the best for 2025 once this is over.

@Fletchasketch thanks so much for taking the time to message. So glad to hear you had a caring, kind team when you needed them most, and a supportive husband. It’s really good to hear that surgical went smoothly for you. Very much hoping it’s the same for me. Happy New Year to you too!

Hey, I just wanted to post and say thank you for a useful thread.
I haven’t quite been diagnosed with having a MMC but a MC is pending. I found out I was expecting early December. Week after positive test had some spotting and GP referred me to EPU who scanned me early - I knew when I ovulated due to ultrasound confirmation and I should have been measuring 5+1 on the day of the scan. The sonographer could only see a small empty gest sac, suggestive of 4 weeks not 5 which I immediately knew was wrong and had a bad feeling. They scheduled a follow up for Xmas eve where we saw the sac had grown, yolk sac and fetal pole with a heartbeat measuring 5+6. I discussed my worried of dates and they said implantation and tube travel could have taken a few days off of it but everything was normal and healthy. Truly believed by some miracle everything might be ok and EPU discharged me. We had booked a private scan when we first found out and prior to EPU which was a few days ago.. on this scan we found out the fetal pole hadn’t grown since Xmas Eve. There was still a heart beat it was slow and irregular so it still measured 5+6 but my sac was typical size for 7w as I would have been however there was debris and blood in the sac. The EPU initially refused to see me despite attempted referrals from the scan clinic and my GP, however I rang up the following day extremely upset and they said they would see me this coming Saturday. From what the sonographer said, there is no way this could be good news and I feel really horrible but I truly just want this over with and to move on if this baby isn’t meant to be.

Sending love to other ladies who have been through this and/or are going through this now. It’s so upsetting.

@KT199 im so so sorry you’re going through this! Is it tomorrow that you have your follow up at EPU?

It’s just such a difficult thing to go through and I’m so sorry you’ve found yourself in this position!

@LovingFawn how are you doing? It’s so hard for the husbands I think. Mine was devastated but really held it together for my sake and always said he felt like it was much worse for me because it was physically happening to me but it seemed to hit him out of no where a few months later

Thank you for asking @Armdjm. Nothing has happened naturally yet and still 9 days until our scan. Swaying wildly from acceptance to sobbing in the shower, researching all the miracle baby stories to feeling (completely unfairly!) angry at my own body. All natural I think, just trying to be kind to myself and feel all the feelings.

I can well see the same happening with mine - he’s an emotional man and a big thinker but so far he’s just thrown himself into care mode and has done all the practical things possible to boot. We’ve just been chatting about what you’ve shared about your OH though and he’s very grateful for the forewarning.

@Armdjm my scan was this morning and the news is what we expected, no longer a heartbeat, so I am booked in for surgical management on Tuesday. Unless nature takes its course before then.

I am sorry you have had to go through this too, it’s an experience I wouldn’t wish upon anyone.

I am so very sorry for your loss @KT199. There are no words really, are there? It’s completely & utterly devastating. Will be thinking of you on Tuesday and hope all goes as well as can be.

Thank you. I’ve just scrolled the thread and read your story, I hope you have a more positive outcome 🤞🏻🫶🏻 but if the worst does happen and you need someone to chat to that’s in a similar position feel free to message / post on here xxx

@KT199 Hope everything went as well as it could have done on Tuesday. How are you doing? Obviously, please don’t feel any need to reply AT ALL, just wanted you to know that you’re being thought of. 💜

Aw thank you so much. It went as well as it could yes, I’m doing okay just plodding on. Fingers crossed you still get some better news, when do you go back to be re-scanned? X

@KT199 glad you’re doing as well as can be expected. I hope you’ve got plenty of support and time to recover. 💜 Scan Monday but the dates just don’t add up to anything positive, unfortunately.

Completely understand your worries and apprehension, from the moment my dates didn’t add up I had a gut feeling my pregnancy would end in miscarriage. But equally, some people do have positive stories so I truly hope yours is one of them. I will be thinking of you Monday and of course feel free to reach out with either good/bad news and I will be here to support if wanted/needed. You absolutely are not alone in anything your going through, and feeling isolated and lonely is a very tough part of the journey. I was so worried to tell anyone what had happened to me, almost like embarrassment that my body hadn’t successfully carried and supported this baby, but when I did I felt a sense of relief. Being able to speak freely and express all of my emotions has really helped me process what has happened. ❤️

Thinking of you today @LovingFawn xxx

@LovingFawn let us know how your scan goes if you’re up to it! Thinking of you!

Just catching up on messages so sorry this is late but also thinking of you today @LovingFawn xx

Thank you so much for your well wishes @KT199 @Armdjm @Bellebg ❤️Unfortunately the scan confirmed what we knew - a missed miscarriage, no further growth and no heartbeat. Back to the hospital tomorrow for surgery. Feel completely numb.

@LovingFawn i am so sorry! It’s the most devastating feeling even when you know it’s coming, I hope your surgery goes as well as it can tomorrow and you have a quick recovery

I’m so sorry @LovingFawn. There really is no feeling like it. I hope the coming days pass quickly for you and that with time you will come out the other side 🤍 hope that your procedure and recovery goes as smoothly as possible. We will all be thinking of you x

@LovingFawn so so sorry to hear what you are going through. It’s the worst news to hear. I hope this next part is done as quickly, safely & smoothly as possible for you. We are here if you want us to chat during recovery. Please be kind to yourself, it is not a straightforward time (mentally too). Sending lots of love xxx

@KT199 I am so sorry for your loss. How is everything going for you post procedure?

@Bellebg @Armdjm Hope everything is smooth sailing & your symptoms have not been too bad. How far along are you both now?

xx

@LimeStork I’m just under 12 weeks now. Had another private scan at 10 weeks just after last time feeling very anxious but been nice to see some growth so looking forward to my nhs one next week. I’ve had terrible sickness this time around but just trying to see it as a good sign! Thank you for asking!

Ah thanks @LimeStork. I’m now 27 weeks, which has come around so quickly. Overall have felt a lot better in 2nd trimester than in the first!

@Armdjm hope enjoy your next scan 🥰 and that you feel better soon!

How are you @LimeStork? How is everyone doing?