Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 9 ALL welcome

[Nic2908]

New thread before we all lose eachother xx

Thanks so much @H20202, I appreciate you sharing and I'm so sorry for your loss too. It's all so much to process. I feel like my life has been dominated by fertility (or infertility) for so long and whether we just need to draw a line now. A conversation for another day but it does feel like there is only so much you can take.

Oh that’s makes me feel better that it does feel like the start of labour, I thought i was being so ridiculous.
Im not sure they would be able to get you in for the surgery this weekend you can ask when the next date is. The medical they could start the treatment today but if you took one today you would have to take second lot on Sunday and Sunday you would need a rest day or you could choose to take the tablets another day. Depending on what your events are I’m not sure you are meant to drink once you start the treatment either. My EPU have been really good and accommodating x

Thanks @Nicole90134 I appreciate your advice. I'm sorry for all you're going through.

As I am for you, hope you get sorted soon x

@Nicole90134 definitely not, I swore at that moment I’d never have the medical again or even get pregnant I was in absolute agony. It’s a joke they call it period like pain in some leaflets. I’ve been through it before so I knew what to expect and how severe it would be.
I asked the nurse if it would be more painful than natural MC as taking meds to induce it, she said no but also read online that women have said it is.

@SErunner do you have some days next week you could take off? Get through the weekend and perhaps go into the hospital for the first med on say Tues or weds, then take your pessaries Thurs/fri and have the weekend d to recover and rest?
I was up and about running errands the following day as once the pregnancy has passed it really calms down (well did for me).

I’ve also had exactly same thoughts, how many times can I do this and go through all this shit? do I want my life to be dominated by this for another few years at least? we really want a baby but at some point I’ll have to draw the line as physically and mentally I can’t keep going through this for years on end. I’m 37 too so I think a few more years of this and I’ll have to be done. It’s so sad to even contemplate I’ll never have a successful pregnancy or a baby at the end of it, but for now, I’ll keep trying and hoping. I see it happening so I’m trying to stay positive. Reassess in a month or so’s time when all this is done
xx

@Figtree11 so glad its finally all done and enjoy that chocolate and cake!!! Xx

@Nicole90134 so sorry its not worked, but please know that your body is amazing and you will get through it. The pain is excruciating, i think i spoke on this thread about how i thought maybe i was a wimp and everyone said no its like labour, and if anything worse as youre unmedicated and the mental distress on top. Really glad to know EPU is being helpful, and my suggestion is to have a hot water bottle handy ready for someone to fill up if the pain starts again, it was the only thing that helped for me.

@SErunner i got my pessaries inserted that day as i thought it would happen quickly but they actually advised me to think about it and come back the next day, so i am sure they will be fine for you to come back after the weekend? We also have struggled with conceiving, with this one taking a year and now nothing in the 4 months since. I have tried really hard to find the joy in the every day but its so hard to not focus on the what ifs, and its totally ok to feel sorry for yourself. Its a horrible situation xxxx

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@SErunner I’m sorry to hear you are going through this too. Like you I am also evaluating TTC after the most recent loss.

@Figtree11 I am glad you were seen and it all went ok. Hope you are resting up, and enjoy that chocolate. Definitely a time to eat whatever you fancy.

Four days on from surgery I’m having more of a bruising type pain, I remember this last surgical management. I have a very tilted uterus and (tmi) it seems to hurt when things are moving down towards the back passage. I guess this makes sense that it would be a little tender, but the pain can be quite sharp. Last time it settled after a couple of days so hoping it’s the same again. Definitely gets worse once I’m more active and back to my usual routine. Don’t regret having a little workout yesterday and going to the sauna though, it was good to feel like I have my body back. Pregnancy symptoms are largely gone now.

hope everyone has some nice things to look forward over the weekend. We deserve treats and lots of being taken care of xxx 💐

@SErunner I’m in a similar position to you at the moment. My recent scan last week showed limited growth so I’m back next week so confirm I’ve miscarried and arrange next steps I suppose.
It’s all so exhausting and similar to yourself and others, questioning whether I can continue. Will need to get past next week and go from there.
Hope you’ve managed everything with your work events x

Hi all, mind if I join? I had my second MMC diagnosed on Sunday but ended up miscarrying naturally on Tuesday whilst my son was in hospital after having major surgery (yes it’s been an absolutely shitter of a week). I was 12 weeks but baby was only measuring 8 after a good scan with a heartbeat at 7+2.

@H20202 anecdata only but I found the natural miscarriage this time round much easier than the medical I had for my last MMC. I wondered whether it was just my body’s getting depressingly more efficient at dealing with miscarriage

Thank you everyone for the words of support. I'm still at the hospital waiting to see a doctor. They kept trying to tell me I'd have to come back in a week or another scan but I've stood my ground and insisted they take the findings of the private scans I've had. I'm not sure how anyone could suggest an embryo now measuring half the size which had a heartbeat two weeks ago and now doesn't could possibly be viable. I've accepted nothing will be happening until after the weekend and just need to decide on which management route to take. I think I will opt for the medical management and am hoping they will be able to give me the medications/pessaries to use at home. I will be able to take some time off work thankfully. I've always used annual leave for my fertility clinic appointments and am never off sick so I don't think they can complain!

@CurlyWurly1991 I'm glad you did your workout and sauna. I went for a run this morning and it felt good to let out some energy. I stood in the woods and cried and shouted. Probably sounded like a mad woman to anyone near but it did help!

@xxcxdonxx I'm so sorry your in a similar position. Have you had a miscarriage before? It is so exhausting isn't it. And yet at the same time, I can't seem to sleep.

@HerbaceousPerennial I'm so sorry for your loss but am glad the physical aspect was 'easier' this time. What terrible timing. How is your son?

@SErunner hope you managed to get somewhere in seeing a doctor?
Unfortunately this will be my third so whilst it’s still very upsetting, it doesn’t have that same shock to it.

@HerbaceousPerennial im so sorry, that’s awful timing and what a stressful time for you. Hope you are all doing ok?

@xxcxdonxx I’m so sorry you are going through this for the third time. That is so unbearably unfair. Xxx 💐

Oh gosh I'm so sorry @xxcxdonxx. Heartbroken for you going through this again. What day is your scan next week?

I had a pretty devastating afternoon to be honest. After being there for hours I had to leave before a doctor could see me as I had to collect our daughter. The consultant rang me and went back to the same statement that I have to have another scan next week because they won't accept the findings of private scans. There has to be 7 days between the scans so that will be next Friday. I would have opted for medical management but now I'm faced with waiting until then I have asked to be booked in for surgery on the Friday. I can't face waiting even longer for the medications to work. I need to get the physical aspect of this underway. I felt so unheard and so upset. They just kept stating it was protocol, which was incredibly frustrating. I've had a scan showing a 5mm embryo with a heartbeat, followed by a scan two weeks later showing a 3.8mm embryo with no heartbeat, followed by the scan today showing a 3mm embryo with no heartbeat. I should be 10 weeks on Monday. In what world is this going to result in a viable pregnancy? What more proof do they need? I can opt for an abortion up to 24 weeks but can't choose to move forwards with miscarriage management when it is evidenced by multiple scans. It just feels wrong and I am so upset.

I’m mmc 8 weeks, measuring 6.

I have opted for surgery based on others experience of medical management- booked for next Thursday.

My concern is things happen naturally before then as my husband is away next week (back Thursday) and we have a toddler and don’t live near family.

does anyone know how long natural might take or could it just not happen?

I also had to wait a week for a second scan at 9 weeks I hope you can find the strength to get through it when you know in your heart what has happened x

Thanks @CurlyWurly1991, it is really unfair and to not have a reason behind it plays on my mind a lot.

@SErunner mines in on Tuesday so I’m
almost at the end of my weeks wait at least. I hear you, it seems so cruel to have to wait another week when it’s pretty clear what the outcome will be. That was a good idea to book in for surgery for next week, at least when you have your scan you can move forward quickly. Everything about it just seems so horribly long and drawn out.

Sorry you are in this position @Overthinking888 Unfortunately I think it might be one of those things that is different for everyone. With my first, I found out on the Monday and was booked in for a MVA on the Friday of that week and had no bleeding etc and the procedure went ahead as planned.
With my second, I found out on the Tuesday but couldn’t be taken until the following Friday so had 10 days to wait. I then had the heaviest of bleeding on the Sunday night but not everything passed until the Wed I think. It was confirmed that I’d had a complete miscarriage so didn’t need my mva appointment in the end. Hope that helps xx

I’m so sorry to see other people finding themselves on this thread 😔
Sending love to you all. Life can be just so cruel

@SErunner that seems completely crazy that they are making you wait like that. With my last MMC I had to wait 7 days after a private scan to be scanned again then get the 2nd opinion from a sonographer. But this time I didn’t have a private scan, just went to EPU and had one scan, no heartbeat having ended a few days prior confirmed by a second sonographer, and came back a couple of days later to discuss management. I think they just disregard private scans. It seems very unfair in your situation where as you say it is sadly very unlikely for the embryo to develop at this stage.

@xxcxdonxx @SErunner thanks both, son is recovering well thank goodness although a slight complication yesterday which sent my stress levels skyrocketing again. The paediatric community nurses have been fantastic though and came out straight away, checked him over and all’s been well since.

@SErunner that’s rubbish, I’m so sorry you’re going through all this fuss, when all anyone wants in this situation is for it to be over. They’re always very cautious unfortunately and will be working on the basis you could have got your dates wrong (even though everyone knows you haven’t) - for my last MMC my EPU were really frank and said it was obvious this wasn’t going to work out and they were really sorry but they have to follow the clinical guidelines, they have no choice. I had to wait a week too and it’s really crap. I took it off work (pregnancy related sickness so it doesn’t count towards any sick leave) and spent a lot of it doing anything physical to take my mind off things, I think doing whatever helps you get through is all that counts. Sending sympathy, it’s so hard.

@Overthinking888 I don’t know if it helps or not but I miscarried naturally this week whilst waiting for treatment and it was genuinely ok, as far as these things go. However I had a friend staying with me as DH was staying in hospital with our son and I had started bleeding, and like others have said it’s really variable, my last miscarriage was not ok. My EPU said if you’re not bleeding, have someone on speed dial who can get to you quickly if it starts, and if you’re bleeding, you need someone with you at all times. Is it essential for your husband to go away next week? I’m so sorry you’re going through this

Hoping it's ok to join you ladies, I'm so sorry to hear about everyone's losses. I've been reading the thread and everyone seems really supportive. I could do with a hand hold and writing it down might also help.

In February I had a mmc, I was 10 weeks but baby stopped growing around 5. Found out at a private scan and also then had to have two nhs scans with a week in between. I miscarried naturally and it was physically very hard taking 6 days before I passed my baby and lost a lot of blood, had labour like contractions too.

We were lucky enough to fall pregnant again straight after my first period post mmc. I had some spotting so EPAU scanned me, dated me at around 5 weeks (which matched my ovulation date) and said they had no concerns with the pregnancy. They booked me in for a repeat scan 2 weeks later (that's next Thursday) and said they would give me progesterone if all was still ok by then.

Unfortunately the spotting returned and I am as of yesterday bleeding like a period, although last night there was a gush of blood as if a tap had been turned on. So I'm guessing I'm miscarrying again for the second time this year. We're absolutely devastated.

EPAU won't bring my scan forward as they have no earlier appointments, they said they've never been so busy as they are now. So I'm at home trying to rest (as much as possible with a 2 year old) and just wanted to reach out on here and say hello to you all x

@HerbaceousPerennial @xxcxdonxx

Thank you both! My husband can’t really miss the trip but can be on standby to come back if needed.

I don’t feel like it’s going to happen naturally - I’m still being sick every day so my body clearly hasn’t caught on sadly!

Hi @JellyBean123456

I know two people who got pregnant straight after a mmm and had a lot of bleeding in the first trimester - a sub haematoma and both had successful pregnancies. Really hope that’s the case for you!

@Overthinking888 Hi, I've heard of sub hematomas but as they didn't see any cause for the spotting on my last scan I've kind of presumed that can't be the case for me. Unless something has developed since that scan of course. Thanks for your reply and I also hope it ends up being something like that!

Hi everyone,
I posted on the last thread about my missed miscarriage. I had my first early scan due to bleeding and the gestational sac was all they could see- measuring 5w2d which was 2 weeks behind and I was so sure of my dates. They booked me in for Wednesday coming (a long 2 week wait!) but since that scan I had cramping, heavy bleeding and clots. I’ve now stopped bleeding and can’t build up the courage to buy a pregnancy test like they suggested. I’ve been experiencing pains in my lower right side. Not like my usual ovulation pain- it it just where I’ve thought the baby had implanted. I’m wondering now if it hasn’t come away and I’m going to have to go for surgical management. I’ve got an awful head cold too! Suppose I’m feeling sorry for myself but has anyone ever experienced bleeding stopping but still having the pregnancy there? I thought I’d still be bleeding to be honest.