Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 9 ALL welcome

[Nic2908]

New thread before we all lose eachother xx

@CxCxTtc2024 dont feel bad, it’s not important. It’s a miscommunication and communication is difficult online at the best of times.

i really hope you’re ok and can get home to rest and be looked after as soon as possible. Xx

@13lucy really sorry about your losses. i expressed my concerns and told them I have no living children and have had blood testing and ultrasound everything is fine but keep miscarrying. I also quoted how Tommy’s strong view is that women should be investigated after 2 miscarriages and that I would feel supported if they referred me. I do think I was very lucky as the nurses were really nice and helpful & were happy to advocate for me. I just find it heartbreaking that no support is offered is generally offered until 3 MCs.

@H20202 thats great to hear the ball is rolling for you & you are getting closer to hopefully getting some answers/ your rainbow baby.

Next steps for us are continue trying, and probably waiting for telephone consultation in August. I can really relate to the ‘maybe its jst bad luck’ and it will all work out next time round but a part of me cant help but worry its just going to end in disaster once again. I am going to be honest my husband and I have discussed maybe just jumping to IVF as we know we can get pregnant its just staying pregnant which is the issue but I dont know if i am mentally and emotionally ready for it? It could be a long long journey with alot of stressful times where theres no guarantee we will be successful either. A part of me feels like I havent given it enough time and iknow i can get pregnant naturally, i jst probably need support maintaining the pregnancy and to try that first but then another part of me is like sack it and lets just go for IVF and get our rainbow baby. Im trying to decide how many times is too many times but honestly i dont know. I do know of a woman who had a MC & emotionally couldnt cope with going through another so didnt risk it and went for IVF & got her rainbow baby and for future pregnancies will use her embroyos and IVF again unless she gets pregnant naturally by chance.

Have you felt like this at all? Or anyone else in the comments considering this route? What are your thoughts and feelings? Would help me see it from different perspectives and maybe help?

@Pinkieblue24 I haven’t really got my head around all the ivf stuff yet, but I have heard it described as brutal.. a lot of prep, stress and usually a share of failed attempts along the way - of course all worth it if it works!

as most MC are a result of a chromosome issue for people with unexplained infertility then you’d hope that the screening for chromosome issues during IVF selection would be the answer however there’s so many variables with it, nothings certain.

all that being said, we will certainly progress down the IVF route as soon as possible should the next few months of TTC not work out.

it’s exhausting and such a worrying time. I hate we’re all here in this shitty boat ☹️
xx

@Pinkieblue24 that's great they've advocated for you. I'm wondering how to go back to my GP about it to ask for more support. I only spoke to them last week about it. I think because I'm 32 everyone says I have plenty of time, but that time soon goes with TTC and miscarriage!

I totally get the same feeling with wanting to get to a solution as quickly as possible and doing anything it takes to get there. It's quite overwhelming! I think it's good to give a set number of cycles TTC before looking into IVF etc. I know it's difficult though as I'm already 6 months ahead in my head in terms of when I hope to conceive by which will be xmas! Wishing time away which is so sad.

Hey All - sad to be joining this thread but here we are.

I'm just coming through the other side of a MMC, my first MC experience. I went for an early private scan on Friday 14th June when I should have been 8 weeks but pregnancy was only measuring 6 weeks at the time with no heartbeat. They referred me to my local EPAU who saw me on Sunday 16th, did an internal scan and confirmed what the private clinic said. They asked to see me again on 25th (yesterday) for a follow up scan to see if there was any growth detected. In the meantime it's like my brain and my body both caught up with each other as pretty much immediately after the scan on the 16th, I started bleeding/cramping. I took the week off work to rest and let the inevitable happen. Bleeding got really heavy for around 5 days and was passing lots of clots, then stopped over the weekend. They couldn't find the sac on yesterday's scan so confirmed it looks like I've had a complete miscarriage and no further management needed, which is one positive I guess.

I think I just went into this pregnancy really naively - with my DS we conceived pretty much straight away and had no real complications throughout the pregnancy at all. With this one it took us around 5 months to conceive which I know compared to others is not a long time at all but it felt like an age when our only other experience of TTC took only one month! I honestly thought the hard part was over once we got that positive pregnancy test. It also completely shocked me that the pregnancy basically ended 2 weeks prior to me knowing about it, I had no symptoms of anything being wrong before we had that first private scan.

I'm desperate to try again as soon as possible but I think I will just be filled with so much anxiety now I have had this experience that this will happen again and I will be unaware. My EPAU have offered for me to come in for a scan if/when I reach 6 weeks with another pregnancy so they can check everything is ok.

@CatLady1994 Sorry to see you here my love and I am so sorry that you are also going through this 💔

Sending all my love to you x

@CatLady1994 sorry to hear this, it's a really awful thing to go through. My first loss was very similar although I had to have surgery for retained tissue which meant it dragged on for a few weeks longer. I totally understand the anxiety with future pregnancies - I've only had two MMCs so only associate pregnancy with anxiety, fear and loss. Great that your EPU are supportive. I try to take things one day at a time now otherwise the anxiety of TTC or miscarriage can get overwhelming - easier said than done!

@CatLady1994 I'm so sorry for your loss. Im glad you seem to have fully passed everything, take all the time you need before trying again. It's great the tour EPU have agreed to scan you again

An update from me. I've been spotting for 8 days now, passed a clot on Sunday. Had a scan on Monday there was an irregular sac and no embryo, some bleeding nearby. They diagnosed PUL and advised 48 hr bloods. Called on Thursday to find out what was going on (one more clot passed on weds) and my HCG had gone up over 75% in 2 days and was at 54,000. So they want to scan me next Friday. Still light bleeding and had some more clots today (with a bit more blood). I'm feeling really low about it all and think it's just delaying the inevitable so I might call them on Monday and see if they can scan me again then. I'm 37 now and I think this might never happen, and I'm worried about what might happen over the next few days. I have no idea why my HcG was looking normal if everything is wrong in there but I guess that can happen sometimes.

I hope everyone else is doing okay x

@CxCxTtc2024 I am hoping and praying for you that everything is ok in the end for you, keep us updated. My HCG kept rising and my pregnancy symptoms kept getting worse even though the baby had died as my sac was still getting bigger. It totally messes with your head.

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. We're all here for you xx

@moosey89 I'm sorry to hear you had something similar, that does sound like what might be happening to me. How long did they leave it with your HcG rising before they discussed what happens next? Did you have any bleeding at all? I hope you're okay. I haven't read back through all of the thread yet as there's so much so sorry I'm sure you've already answered all of those questions

@CxCxTtc2024 because I had a baby with a heartbeat, they could see the heartbeat was really slow which is a bad sign. So I had another scan in a week which confirmed baby had died. I had surgical management 2 days later because they wanted to make sure I got seen before the bank holidays and didn't miscarry at home as they were sending samples for genetic testing x

Sorry forgot to add, I had no bleeding at all, wouldn't have known anything was wrong and would have assumed it was a viable pregnancy if I hadn't had losses before because of the strong symptoms x

Hi everyone.
I'm sorry we're all here :( I hope everyone is being supported and getting through this okay. I know I wasn't and that's okay too, but the better outcome of this is that we all still have hope....

I had my 3rd confirmed MC in April. My gp referred me to reoccurring miscarriage clinic in May and I lucky had my appointment yesterday. They looked back at the tests I had done in March April May and June, they found my thyroid was elevated back in March when I was pregnant but didn't do anything about it (thanks infertility unit). Yesterday the new dr confirmed I need thyroid medication but first I'd need a biopsy and camera scan in my uterus. I now have that scheduled for next week and things finally feel like they're moving forward.

After every positive test I was left in limbo and basically waiting to see what happens. I feel like things can only improve from here on out.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and me. I hope there will be a baby before the end of the year. I can't express enough how much my gp did for me. The MC clinic even said her referral was very passionate 🥹 I hope you all have that as well....

Best of luck 🧡

Hi guys. I had surgery this afternoon for (suspected) molar pregnancy. I bled 500ml during the surgery but didn't need to stay in so have gone home.
I had surgery for MMC in march and only bled lightly, I understand a molar leads to more blood loss.
I'm on my third pad since I got back home about 6.30, it's coming and going but occasionally when I've checked it's literally been dripping out, then sort of settles for a while.

They said to go back to a&e if the bleeding is "too much".... what is "too much" and what can they do apart from monitor me there?
I don't want to go back to hospital in the middle of the night unnecessarily, but also I don't want to wait at home if it's something I need checking. 😭😭

Hi everyone, I hope it's ok to join.

I had my MMC confirmed today, I'm nearly 9 weeks, stopped growing at 6.

Been referred to my local hospital for Misoprostil, will probably call them on Monday and get things started.

I've been on Progesterone suppositories and will be stopping them, and I'm hoping that maybe things will start to happen naturally?
To be honest I'm terrified of doing the medical management as I live abroad and don't have any family here, only my Partner.

I'm really glad to have found this thread 💗

@CxCxTtc2024 I hope things settled for you? I found NHS 111 really helpful when I was going through natural miscarriage. They had a Dr call me and when I said I wanted to avoid hospital as much as possible she phoned me a couple of times in the day to check I was ok. Can't help with how much bleeding is normal but I hope you're ok now.

@susie1984234 sorry for your loss. I had exactly the same last year and started miscarrying naturally around the 10 week mark. I wasn't on progesterone so not sure how that affects things. I hope you are getting the support you need!

Hi mums, I tragically learned that I lost my baby today at 8 weeks. We had seen a strong heartbeat two weeks earlier but unfortunately bub was always measuring two weeks behind so I always felt something was wrong. This doesn't change the shock and heartbreak and mourning of all my hopes and dreams for my future with Bub 😢 I just have to get through each day and try to think about the future and dream a healthy pregnancy is on my cards.

I'm so sorry. I had this when I miscarried in Jan, baby always measured 2 weeks behind so I never really felt confident ❤️

Have you decided on your next steps treatment wise? I hope you have a lot of support around you. There is certainly hope on the other side, I'm now 17 weeks pregnant xx

Hey ladies, I didn’t know this section existed here - assume it doesn’t trend? I’m sorry we’re all here anyway.

Im 42, and had a bit of a now or never moment last year and started to try - very naive, didn’t do any of the testing, just trusted flo app. Fell pregnant, and am (or was) 7 weeks. Got a stitch when out running last week (never happens), and had some light spotting on Monday afternoon, that turned to brown dry discharge, to period blood now to red blood. EPU can’t scan me till Mon, I also feel they’ve really tried to fob me off with false hope when it’s pretty clear what is happening.

I really felt like this was the one shot, I’m gutted.

not sure if to have a private scan to get it out the way? I do resent these people preying on women’s insecurities, but it’s all just supply and demand really isn’t it 😔

@Gigicb so sorry for your loss 😔

@ConfusedCrab i’m sorry you find yourself here. My first MC I had some spotting that then got heavier. It was a Friday night so I booked a private scan for the next day as I have to go through my GP to get an EPU appt. I am glad I had the private scan as I couldn’t bear a long wait either. But if you do choose to, in my experience I found them really not very helpful at all. And so was sat with my sadness until it was then confirmed by EPU a few days later. It really is an awful place to be, so sending you love

Hi i think the general guideline is if you are going through 1 or more pads per hour is my understanding x

@carnation2531 thank you, it ended up being okay it was quite heavy that night and then settled the next day, I bled moderately for about a week after then sort of stopped and started for a while.

Every time I think it’s done (or get a tiny bit of hope being honest) it’s back to cramps and bleeding. It’s shit being a woman sometimes.

a practical question, I run a lot and normally running clears my head which I obvs can’t do at the moment. Assuming mc completes without needing any intervention, does anyone know when it’s advisable to run / exercise again?

Just whenever you feel physically able really. There’s not a set time as far as I know.

One benefit of an earlier priavte scan is it will give you more of an idea what’s happening, however many places are NOT great at handling mc and I’ve seen lots of women on here voice how they’d never use a private place again. The EPAU won’t accept a private scan result either so you may need more than one with them before they confirm MC.
if it is confirmed you’ll be given 3 options, wait for it to pass naturally, medication or hospital procedure. Mine stopped and started and after 3 weeks I opted for medication.

sending big hugs it’s truly awful x

@CurlyWurly1991 Thinking of you today, it's our due date with the baby we lost and January and I know yours was around this time as well. Hope you're doing ok xx