Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 9 ALL welcome

[Nic2908]

New thread before we all lose eachother xx

thank you @warmbutteredtoast well remembered. It has been on my mind a little as I had a smear test and was asked about contraception. I also lost one in April a bit further along that would be due in November. No longer TTC here.
how are you doing?

@CurlyWurly1991 The anniversaries are tough ❤️ I'm in Cornwall on holiday and it feels like a lovely place to contemplate and remember them. I think DH & I will go for a beach walk later, maybe around sunset and remember baby. I'm ok, I'm pregnant again which I think does help, feeling sad about the one we lost though. Take care of yourself xx

@warmbutteredtoast congratulations on your pregnancy, I hope everything goes easily and you have a beautiful baby in your arms soon xx

@CurlyWurly1991 Thank you xx

Learned today that I've had a mmc - should be 10 weeks, but scan private scan showed no heartbeat and that development stopped at about 6 weeks. NHS pregnancy support centre scan found the same, but cruelly I have to go back next week for another scan to confirm a non viable pregnancy.

Feeling very sad and scared about management options - natural/medical/surgical. Don't know how to weigh up the costs/benefits because they all seem unpleasant.

Hugs to everyone else in this shitty situation.

@InvisibleDragon i am so sorry. I had similar happen to me last year at a private scan, but luckily didn’t have to go back a week later like you are. Look after yourself as much as you can, it really is the worst position to be in.
I have had both medical & surgical management. But the EPU should talk you through all options to help you make an informed decision

@InvisibleDragon I'm so sorry this is happening to you, it's fucking horrible. I've now been through all three options, and I'd choose surgical again moving forward, but that's personal to my circumstances at home, the way my body clings onto pregnancies and the way my mind processes the grief. You make the decision that's right for you at the time. If you work, take plenty of time off if you can, not just for the physical recovery, but for the emotional recovery - it's a big deal.

@InvisibleDragon I'm so sorry you're going through this, I had very similar. I've only had surgical management (3 times) and would choose it again as it allowed me to get the physical side over with so I could process the emotional/mental side. But it's a super personal decision and there's no right or wrong choice. Sending hugs xx

Thank you @MooMaeMoo @Figtree11 and @moosey89 , I really appreciate your messages. I think I am leaning towards surgical management if it doesn't happen naturally this week - I just want a clear ending and the thought of going through all the bleeding and the pain, possibly with my 2yo at home, is too much.

Hi all,
Hope you don’t mind me joining onto this thread. I am having my first miscarriage at 6 weeks 5 days.
I had been having bleeding on and off for nearly a week-it got bad last Thurs so I went to EPU. They scanned me and found baby with heartbeat. Left happy. Monday comes round and bleeding gets bad again (during an inset day this time so I had to go home). Get scanned yesterday and see heartbeat and baby (measuring correctly) again. Since the internal US, I’ve had bleeding. Today it got really bad and I had like a gush of clots (2-3 to begin with but then more) at around 11. Felt it whilst I was in the middle of teaching year 8. Luckily, headteacher knew so came in to cover me and I went home. Pain on and off like a period and bleeding generally not too bad now.
EPU gave minimal advice of basically “come back in a week if you still test positive as you’ll have had an incomplete one”.
Has anyone got off relatively lightly with natural miscarriage? Or is this going to get worse? Very anxious about this and heartbroken. It was so cruel to feel like everything was okay and hear baby’s heartbeat (with perfect growth, fetal poles, yolk sac etc) and then to realise I’m losing them. Also a bit worried that I’ve had clots, some looking a bit like liver but nothing really “fleshy”.

Hope everything is going as well as it can for everyone!

@TurboGoose88 Oh you poor thing. I’m so sorry you are going through that. I’m afraid I have only ever had missed MC and surgical management so don’t know what natural MC is like. Have the EPU said they would scan you at any stage?

They said that they would if I’m still positive (to look for anything left) next Thursday! I would be annoyed but they were so willing to scan me the other two times, I can’t really complain. To be honest, the less time I spend in hospital now the better. I don’t want to be back at a place which now will signify sadness to me (I gave birth to my DS in a different hospital)

@InvisibleDragon so sorry to hear about your MMC. It is a horrible decision to have to plan the next steps physically when all you want to do is hide and grieve the loss. I had surgical twice within a space of a few months, both were fine. I think it depends on the gestation as to what they recommend. With my first MMC I might have chosen medical but I had builders in and windows being changed so felt very self conscious about MCing at home. Second time I was more like 8/9 weeks and worried about how much material there might be. It’s a very personal choice and there is no best option unfortunately they are all shit 😞
When I had the second MMC the nurse said that the consultant advised it was not a good idea for me to choose surgical management again if I wanted to continue TTC. I don’t know if anyone else has been told that before?

@TurboGoose88 ah sorry I missed that. Do take care and don’t rush back to school, that’s not an easy place to be with what you’re going through xx

@TurboGoose88
It’s so hard to be left not knowing - you could push for another US sooner but also appreciate that may not be what you want.
I read a lot of women have a bleed/clot but the baby is fine - but the only thing that will give you a definite is the US. Even if it is a MC it’s likely you’ll still test positive for quite some time as it takes a while for the hcg hormone to come back down to 0 - my spotting started 31st March, had to have medical management on 19th April and my period didn’t test negative until 13th may.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this - hoping baby is ok and it’s an unserious clot or bleed making its way out x

Sadly, I dont think it’s a good outcome. When I spoke to EPU on the phone, they agreed it sounded like miscarriage (due to clots and pain) and I’ve had period like pain this PM. Pain has now subsided but bleeding hasn’t. It’s bright red every time I wipe and I’ve gone through like 3 sanitary towels since it started. It’s just so sad that it all changed so quickly.

@TurboGoose88 yes that amount of blood doesn’t sound hopeful at all. I’m really sorry xx