Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 9 ALL welcome

[Nic2908]

New thread before we all lose eachother xx

Does anyone else have experience of getting support from the NHS after 2 MCs? I heard that for older mothers sometimes GP will allow a referral and not insist on 3 before referral. I don’t know if there’s any point since we have most likely decided to stop but then part of me wonders if there’s a treatable cause… would I feel differently? I guess it would be some blood tests, and probably a good wait for the referral…

@CurlyWurly1991 thanks for replying, I know the letter I got said bleeding for 2-3wks, but if anything it’s increased today more than it has in the whole week!

In regards to GPs looking into after 2 - I’m not fully sure yet, but the day I left hospital from surgery I had a text from the GP for me to make a phone appt with them. So I have that next week so will ask if they can do anything. But my EPU did say I’m in area to be referred to tommys miscarriage clinic in Coventry (I’ve had 2 MC now & im under 35) unfortunately does seem like a postcode lottery. Hoping the gp will refer me next week.
I have no children so am desperate to keep going & try again

Did anyone not feel sad after their surgery? I only had mine today and I feel very numb.

Preoccupied with things like I am flying next week to be a bridesmaid and then straight to a holiday. Will my dress fit, I can’t swim etc

When actually we were going to tell our families on the holiday so I thought I’d be feeling upset but I just feel exhausted.

Hello everyone.
Sorry we're all here....
I've been lurking on/off the last 4 years since we started TTC. Since then, I've had 1 MMC, 1 chemical and two 6-7w miscarriages that I went through at home.

The most recent one has left me with so much anxiety and depression that I can't shake off or function with. How are the rest of you feeling so far?? Anyone else going through severe anxiety??

🧡

Hi, I'm so sorry for your loss. I've also had 2 mmc now in the last 4 months. The 1st was after my 12 week scan and I have had severe anxiety since. It started off with me being terrified I'd lose my husband too and then being too anxious to want to talk to anyone at work when I went back or anything. It got a little better and then I got pregnant 2 months after and it eased but but had another mmc at 8 weeks, 2 weeks ago which was a partial molar pregnancy so it feels like it's still not over. Anxiety is back to being worse than ever, talking to my husband and going to work seems to help a little in the form of distraction but I'm considering going to the gp or asking epu to refer me to petals counselling at my next blood test on Monday. Have you considered counselling, talking about the trauma of what you've gone through may help. You are definitely not alone though x

I did the 1st 2 days after and then it hit me. I personally think because I didn't experience it like the 1st time where I had contractions and saw the baby that it just didn't feel real and I was in denial that it had even happened and that there was even a baby and then 2 days later I was a complete mess. I think it's normal but do be prepared just in case the emotions hit at a later point x

Hi @NphysT and thank you for sharing what you've gone through with me.
I've been where you've described before but this time it all feels too overwhelming.
Ive self referred to the mental health team where I live but the appointment isn't for another 2 weeks, which is why I've come here to get things off my chest. Hope that's okay.

I actually find that my work has given me more anxiety and I'm overwhelmed. I told my manager when I went back this week and she agreed and said I should look at taking more time off until I am fully better. Felt like a sting but I guess she's right...

I hope today is a better day for you!

@CurlyWurly1991 I can empathise with the anger feelings. I feel so angry with my body for letting me down time and time again when it comes to reproduction (even my daughters birth was a total fiasco). But I do try to remember all the amazing things it has done too. It's just hard to remember any positives when things feel tough, and like you say, when life just feels so unfair.

There is no harm asking your GP for tests - I think it will be a lottery in that some places and individuals might refer at your point and others won't. Thyroid testing and blood clotting screening would be two easy things they could do and perhaps refer for an ultrasound to check things structurally. Once you step outside these frontline tests I think the evidence base all gets a bit sketchy eg reproductive immunology.

@HerbaceousPerennial I had been really actively working on getting myself to a positive headspace with regards to a single child family, since our last IVF round failed in the autumn. I found it to be something I needed to actively put energy into ie starting to action plans we could do as a single child family such as planning work on the house (which we otherwise couldn't afford). I was also lucky to come across a new friend who is only having one child (again due to infertility) and this has helped no end. I think it's baby steps, and definitely takes some time, but as I said before, I was almost there when this happened 🤦‍♀️

@Figtree11 I hope you can get your referral ASAP. Again I am so sorry you are here, it's just the worst club to be in. Hopefully they might be able to see you soon and offer something useful in terms of tests.

@92rainbows im so sorry for your losses, how devastating. Have you not been referred on for testing etc yet? That sounds a long time and a lot of losses to not be seen further? Definitely a good idea to seek support if you are struggling from a mental health perspective, I hope the wait times aren't too long.

@NphysT @Overthinking888 it's interesting to hear your perspectives post surgery. I have mine today and am currently feeling relieved it's going to happen, but not sure how I'll feel later. Thank you for sharing, it's so helpful to (sadly) hear others experiences and know what may be coming,

@SErunner
Thank you, and I'm so sorry for yours as well...

I was told by the hospital to self refer to the Reoccurring clinic through my GP. I have a face2face on Monday about the miscarriages, not sure if they will be able to do any tests before I'm seen at the clinic. I have had my thyroid and hormones done in the past, most recently when I found out I was pregnant in March. Those have come back normal.

I've gone into a spiral of "there might not be anything wrong".

Thank you for your reply.

@92rainbows I can't imagine, it must be incredibly hard. I hope you are seen soon and can have an opportunity to ask questions and hopefully get some answers. There is an excellent book by Robert Winston which is inexpensive and called 'the essential fertility guide'. I can't remember if it has much about recurrent miscarriage, but it is incredibly helpful if you are starting to have fertility testing etc done. I will check my copy when I get home and let you know if there is much relevant content for you.

Morning all… so I’m still testing positive.

baby stopped growing on/around 26/3.
spotting since 30/3
medical management 19/4
scan 23/4 - said pregnancy had passed and something about a line in my uterus which tells them my cycle is starting up again.

tested on the 29/4, 7/5 and 10/5 - all positive although line is getting lighter.

called hospital, they said to present in emergency. I honestly can’t face that room again and usually when I go there are no fucking drs on and no scans available or a ridiculous wait, which I just can’t do today with work.

has anyone else had this and it’s finally gone negative or was surgery needed? Thanks xxx

PS - NO way possible its a new pregnancy

Is today 3wks exactly since medical management?
When I had medical, it took 5wks to get a negative test. I called EPU after 3wks, who said to wait another week. I did, and was still faintly positive. I then went in for a blood test which showed my hcg was really low, and then a week later it was negative

I would have thought by this time you might be looking at retained product? So sorry @H20202. Can you not contact EPU and ask to be seen there? Or did they advise ED? That seems horribly unfair. I was advised to contact EPU if my test is still positive after 3 weeks. If you do have to go to ED, you could call them through the day to find out wait times and hopefully minimise the amount of time there? So sorry x

@92rainbows that sounds so tough, you’ve really been through the wringer. I suffered with anxiety when I was younger so understand how debilitating it can be, you have my sympathy. It’s not the same I know but the only thing which helped then was patience and routine. Those feelings gradually became a smaller and smaller part of my life. To be honest my overwhelming emotion at the moment is absolute pure rage, which I am struggling to control. Last time I got very very low, and specialist fertility counselling helped - I paid for it and it was 100% worth it albeit appreciate not always an option.

@H20202 that’s rubbish your hospital told you to present as an emergency - like others my EPU keep you on their books for I think 4 weeks after your miscarriage and I just called them up when I wasn’t negative after 3 weeks. Mine was a tiny amount of retained tissue which was gradually re absorbed, I had weekly blood tests to check what was happening and the silver lining was the nurses checking in on me and seeing how I was coping. Sometimes they said it just takes some people’s bodies a bit longer to clear the hormones so hopefully just that

@SErunner good luck for your surgery today. Thinking of you. Yes, I think I need to map out how life could look with just one, or with a large age gap, that’s helpful, thank you. Knowing ‘the plan’ for different scenarios will be a comfort. I have a friend who was unable to have children at all and her perspectives have been like a breath of fresh air, I’m so grateful to her and to see how she’s adjusted to have a wonderful life, just different to the life she was expecting. And I too had a disaster birth with my first! On top of PCOS, mad cycles etc. it’s easy to feel betrayed by your body, but you’re right, it’s done lots of great things too. I wasn’t really expecting to be able to even fall pregnant but I have, even if it’s not worked out well most of the time.

Yes 3 weeks today since passed pregnancy. I know for sure pregnancy itself is passed as I saw it l and buried it in the garden, I also had the scan which confirms so must be some tissue.

The only way to speak to EPAU is via the emergency line.. and whichever nurse in a&e has answered has said to come in to be assessed by dr. I’ve emailed a contact I had at patient experience and they’ve said to do the same they can’t get EPAU to call me 🙃

My hopeful train of thoughts says that as it was a MMC, the medical management had to stop the hormones and force the pregnancy to pass (19/4) and so it may take longer for my hormones to hit 0… the scan on the 23/4 didn’t allude to anything being retained but I have read online that sonographers often miss retained product especially as it can be so small.

I’ve decided I’m probably not going to do anything today, I’m on training with work and I honestly feel too pissed off to see anyone in hospital I’ll end up being horrible to someone. I think I’m going to retest early next week and then brave the emergency room if still positive. Probably Tuesday as Mondays are always ridiculously busy.

nothing is ever simple for me, not even a MC, so fucking sick of this.

@HerbaceousPerennial & @Figtree11 thank you that gives me hope that I won’t need to do anything else but be patient xxxx

@SErunner thank you too… do you have surgery today? Absolute best of luck if so and big hugs.

@CurlyWurly1991 I was told it’s very much practitioner discretion so push for it. One hospital told me it’s 3 losses (yet they have agreed to some testing for me) yet another hospital agreed to the MC referral for me…. Keep asking… I’m 37, ectopic last year and MC this.

@CurlyWurly1991 have they done any tests? My gran had reoccurring miscarriages and she had a blood condition which they didn’t find out until many years later. If she’d have taken an aspirin a day it would have stopped them. She had quite a few but might be a test worth asking about xx

@H20202@Nicole90134 thanks for your replies about tests. EPAU said 3 MCs needed but I could try with my GP. I will keep it in mind if we think we may continue TTC (unlikely). Don’t know if there’s any value in these tests if we don’t decide to continue.

@H20202 I was testing positive at least 3 weeks onwards after my first surgical management. EPAU at the time gave me options either wait a few days and test again or come in for a scan now - by 4 weeks it was negative. These one step strips are very sensitive. It could be retained product or just the trace hcg still leaving. I hope very much it is the latter and you don’t have to go back to what sounds like a rather stressful hospital.

I saw this post last night, might be helpful! @CurlyWurly1991

I was referred to recurrent miscarriage after my last, I only had 2mcs but had also had a chemical which i had to argue was still a loss. I’m 38 so maybe that helped my case too.
I had to wait about 5 weeks for an appointment which was a telephone call with the consultant. We went through my history and she asked some additional Qs. I had already had some bloods taken by my gp to check my thyroid etc so I skipped that part and was sent for another blood test for ‘sticky blood’.
As I mentioned that I spotted about a week after my peak ovulation test she agreed to giving me progesterone to take to see if it made a different in helping a pregnancy implant.
In the mean time, I had my blood work back and had tested positive for this sticky blood. However, they need to do a second test 12 weeks apart to ensure it is positive. She did say to hold of my attempts to get pregnant (which I didn’t) but if I was to get pregnant before my second blood test I would be treated as if I did have sticky blood. So this most recent pregnancy, I was on progesterone and aspirin from 3dpo and then clexane injections too after they confirmed the pregnancy was in the right place.
Just to add there was a bit of conflicting advice as to when I should start the aspirin, when TTC, on a bfp or at 6weeks.

Sorry if you already knew any of that but just thought it might help with my experience of a recurrent miscarriage referral. Obviously for me I still miscarried and don’t know what the next steps would be if we decided to try again. A massive IF!!

It really is unfair. In regards to @H20202 there is a book called it starts with the egg or all about the egg can’t remember the title but that is all about improving egg quality. I’m trying not to look into any of that for the time being though because I think it would take over my life but if anyone was interested my friend has read it and said it was good and she got pregnant but you just never know with these things if it was just chance xx

I was doing a lot of the stuff in it starts with the egg… because I’m 37 and DH 46 we were both taking 200mg CoQ10 daily, all the vitamins (Proceive), fish oil, vit D etc. All the bbt temping and timing things etc. I had been to a herbalist for hormone balance and my periods which were formerly irregular got much more predictable and I stopped spotting between periods. All this over about 6-9 months. At that point I conceived in Nov 23 and Feb 24 so I know it helped as we didn’t get anything before that. However I think in our case it’s just age, most likely, if money were no object I would want to look into DNA fragmentation for DH. I think egg quality is basically tested by TTC. So we kind of have our answer with the outcome. I am making peace with it, but if any of that stuff sounds useful to anyone else I’m happy to share.

I am concerned my miscarriage are age / egg quality. I got pregnant (successful) only two years ago at 34 and now I’m 36 and multiple miscarriages which I assume is my age.

Can things really change that fast? I don’t think I’m ready to face giving up or accepting it yet. But I’m exhausted.

I often wonder the same @Overthinking888 . I was 35 when I had my little girl and we started trying again when she was 20months with multiple mcs from them. So in a really short space of time it’s all went downhill. I find it so hard to believe my eggs could deteriorate that quickly but could be the case.

@Overthinking888 & @xxcxdonxx i really don’t know, as I’m 32 with no children and 2 MMC. I’ve started taking coq10 in case it is egg quality to see if that will help