Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 9 ALL welcome

[Nic2908]

New thread before we all lose eachother xx

Some advice please.
Been bleeding for about 8 days now, its been switching from a light bleed to heavier and back again.
Last 2 days have been at its heaviest but no pains or cramping, an uncomfortable feeling is more accurate.
Last night I'm pretty sure I passed the sac and def some clots, it's wasn't painful and it kind of slid out but went quite far into the pan so I could only see a bit of it.
Bleeding calmed from last night but still very much there.
Is that it? Is the worst of it over?
I was expecting a lot more pain and heavier bleeding, maybe its because I was only 6 weeks and measuring so small?
I have a scan tomorrow afternoon to confirm things.

Hi all. Sad to be joining this thread again but had another MMC diagnosed but this time but further on at 8 weeks after seeing a heartbeat at 7 weeks. Absolutely devastated and it's the second consecutive MMC and we have no living children. MVA booked tomorrow. Not sure how I'm going to get through the other side of this one but I'm not going to give up.

Hi @lola04 didnt want to ignore your message, but I don’t really have any advice. When I passed the sac the pain was horrific, but it was done with medical management which probably made the pain worse. I hope you get positive answers tomorrow. So sorry that you have found yourself on this thread.

@13lucy i am so sorry you’ve had a second MMC. I too recently had my second MMC found at the 12 week scan and no children. My most recent one has been diagnosed as a partial molar. My EPU also recommended to my GP that I be referred to tommys (this was before the partial diagnosis). So I have an appt at the miscarriage clinic in Coventry but not til November. Hopefully you can do something similar.
It is the worst feeling in the world. Hope the MVA goes as well as it can tomorrow x

@Figtree11 thank you for your message. It's so awful isn't it. Interesting that they are referring you after two and also crazy that it will take til November to get an appointment! I spoke to a consultant today and said we were willing to pay for testing, but he said after two miscarriages it's still very likely that we will get there and not to investigate yet. I think it depends on your age too. I'm still going to see what my GP suggests.

Hi @lola04 so sorry that you are going through this. From my own experience, I had the worst pain leading up to it. I had one night of really heavy bleeding and it was more of an ache after that. My sac passed a few days later and the bleeding started to become more of a period with the odd clot.
Hopefully your scan today shows everything had passed, let us know how you get on.

@holi2024
I'm so sorry for your loss 💐.
I had surgical management for MMC at 8weeks (no development after 6+2). Surgery went very well. I had almost no bleeding for a couple of days, then it sort of started and stopped for a few weeks. V low grade cramping on and off too. I just used panty liners most days and then just carried them in my bag if I needed them. It lasted for several weeks. At least 3, maybe even 4 with some spotting, a bit more than I expected. I remember thinking 🤔 am I going to be bleeding like this forever. But it did stop and then not long after my first period came.

Sorry you’ve had a second mmc @13lucy my first was after seeing a heartbeat which I found especially cruel. Hope that your mva goes as well as it can today 💜

Hello Ladies,

My heart is with all of you who have joined this thread, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Those of you who I’ve exchanged messages with before, I hope you’re doing as well as can be, both physically and emotionally!

As some of you know, I had my surgery just over 4 weeks ago now - physical recovery was great, hardly bled and then got a negative pregnancy test at exactly 3 weeks post surgery (still waiting for my period, can’t exactly say my partner and I have been safe though and feeling a little worried about it 😬). I feel like I’ve been doing quite well emotionally, my partner on the other hand possibly had a delayed emotional reaction and needed a break so we’ve been enjoying the South of England for the past few days.

The real reason I’ve popped back here is to rant a bit, I hope you ladies don’t mind! I found out last night that a family member of mine is 13 weeks pregnant, I would have been about 15/16 weeks right now, and I uncontrollably sobbed for about an hour. I was alone with my partner on holiday, so it was very much a private reaction to the news. I’m beyond happy for her, she absolutely deserves it and has been through some terrible losses herself so I want nothing more than for this pregnancy of hers to be happy and successful. However, I’m so devastated for myself. I’m going to have to witness her milestones at a very similar time I’d have been experiencing my own and I’ll have to see her have her Christmas baby whilst my Christmas baby will be merely a thought, commemorated by an angel on the tree. My partner couldn’t understand my reaction and said I should ‘just be happy for her’ and that me crying was quite selfish. I explained that I was happy for her but couldn’t help being so upset for myself and us as a couple. His comments upset me even more than the news, as I thought of all people he’d understand my initial feelings having been on this awful journey of loss with me.. only 4 weeks ago!! I’ve seen so many other pregnancy announcements on social media, they pain me a little but this family announcement has just floored me. My loss is all still so fresh, I thought I was doing okay but clearly I’m not. I just feel alone in my thoughts and feelings now, I feel misunderstood and isolated. I’m not a horrible person, I wish all women well who are lucky enough to be pregnant but that doesn’t mean I can’t be upset for myself, right?

I'm so sorry to see the new members joining and so sorry for your losses. Life is so cruel. Take time to grief and do what you need to do to get through this awful time.

@DogMom62 you are not awful or selfish and you are definitely allowed to be upset. A close friend announced her pregnancy 4 weeks after my miscarriage and her due date is 2 weeks before mine would have been. It broke me. I then went on holiday with our friendship group and spent 4 days with her talking about how excited she was, how her husband reacted to the news etc. I faked happiness but a few of my friends saw through it and kept asking if i was okay, I lied and said yes but I sobbed when I eventually got home.
I'm so happy for my friend but it was another reminder of what I was missing. I'm so desperate to be a mum and 3 years of TTC takes its toll.
I am feeling better but I found I have to turn down invites to events I know will upset me - baby showers, christenings etc. And every pregnancy announcement I see breaks my heart that little bit more. We will get our rainbow babies though, keep going, keep crying and keep talking to people who understand 💕

Update from me, we had our appointment with the recurrent miscarriage clinic. Essentially just went through the blood results:
Lupus antibodies negative
But clotting is abnormal and anticaridiolipin antibodies raised (suggesting possible antiphospholipid syndrome) but they have to repeat to confirm and you have to wait 12 weeks (!!!) to repeat it, then another 2 weeks for the results. So more waiting... 😔 means we won't have an answer until August and I can't restart letrozole until then. Feels like I'm wasting so much time but I know we need to find out if there are other issues and treat those to hopefully get our baby 🤞

@DogMom62 you are totally valid in your feelings. With my first MC, a work colleague announced her pregnancy a few weeks after my MC, and handed me a scan photo. So I can sympathise. My colleague went on maternity leave last week, so at least for me I don’t have to see her again now til next year. But while she was at work I found it so tough and would compare where I would be at compared to her - the only way I could cope some days was to just take myself off somewhere else for a bit. I know a family situation is different though.
My DP also sounds similar to yours, where he could understand why I was bothered but thought I should be able to move on from it quickly. I think they are one stepped removed from the process so don’t really understand how much it hurts. Sending love x

@DogMom62 you are absolutely allowed to feel sad for you! My partner's brother and other half were 1 month ahead of where we should have been with my second loss and I found the whole process so hard. I'm still not fully over it, I could only hold their baby when I was pregnant again (which has now sadly ended in loss so I'm back to feeling immensely awkward around the baby again). It's so hard when it's so close to home.

Hi all,
it makes me sad to see so many of us are in this horrible boat...
I've had 3MCs in 15months, 11w (for which I blame myself - despite what everyone else says - as I was exercising when I felt a "tear" and I MC in the next 2days), then at 7w and 8w (after seeing heartbeat).
While I was going through this 2 of my workcolleagues have had 3 preganancies so all their announcements / due dates are linked in one way or another - which makes it really hard, everytime I see them I end up exhausted and just wanting to cry.
I'm 38 which is just adding to the preassure...
I did some tests on the RMC and they didn't find anything, I also had an Hysteroscopy as there was tissues (I had 2 ERPCs) and I'm still recovering so I haven't been able to start trying again.

apologies for the long post, I just needed to put it out there is been a bad week 😩

I’m 33, so wasn’t expecting to be referred.
But I’m in catchment for the tommys miscarriage clinic in Coventry who say you can be referred after 2.
It’s good to hear your consultant said that. I really want to TTC again before the November appointment. Clinging onto hope I’ve just had bad luck, but then I feel daft for thinking that sometimes!

@JaneSmith8 sorry for your losses. I almost think the worst part of it all is seeing it work out for everyone around you progress with their lives when you can't and it being a constant punch in the gut. I'm managing someone at work who's pregnant and was meant to be recruiting their mat cover until finding out about my MMC. I just don't want to deal with it and want to run away from it all. You're not alone and it's not your fault.

@Figtree11 that's brilliant. I'm 32 so similar age. I'm going to speak to my GP anyway to see what they can do and I'm going to get a second opinion from the consultant doing my MVA today and will let you know what they say. Such a horrible thing to be going through. I feel so broken.

Sorry @13lucy I missed your last message. How did the MVA go?
Hope you are doing as ok as can be?
I’m 6 weeks on from my latest loss & had been doing ok this week. But had a rubbish day today. I know I’ll come out the other side, but it’s just rubbish. Sending love x

@Figtree11 that's ok! The procedure went ok but was in a lot of pain that evening and threw up too! Was much worse than the last time I had it. Felt a sharp pain during it which left me feeling a bit worried but I'm probably just over analysing it. Been finding it really tough and also away with family on holiday and the lack of routine/slow pace leaves me with my thoughts and feelings a lot. Sorry to hear you've been feeling rubbish. Loss is such a difficult thing. Have you had your cycle return yet? I'm tracking BBT again and it's hovering just above follicular phase temps.

@13lucy im glad it went ok. Was it under local? I had my surgery under general so at least I didn’t know what was going on! My first MC was medical & the pain was horrific.

I’m sorry you are having a rough time. I was on holiday last week just with DP and I felt like myself again. It was so nice. Got back yesterday & was in such a bad mood & was googling the life out of everything again which is never good. And just overall worrying about the future.

No I’m still waiting for my cycle to return. As mine was partial molar, it takes longer for HCG to return to normal. I’m 6 and a half weeks since surgery now, and the molar clinic is happy where I’m at, but I have the faintest squinter still on a pregnancy test

@Figtree11 glad you had some respite while you were away. It's so difficult to shake the sadness but I try and remind myself that there will be better days ahead. Sorry to hear it was partial molar, that must be so difficult on top of the loss itself. Do you have to wait longer before you can TTC?

My surgery was MVA under local. I also had I to remove retained tissue last time round so knew I could bear it. It wasn't bad at all during the procedure, just afterwards once I got home. I don't think it's meant to be like that though.

@13lucy glad to hear your procedure went well! It’s really not nice but I hope you’re recovering well too.

@Figtree11 @Loz365 @moosey89 thank you for your kind words, it’s nice to have people who understand! I managed to get over myself quite quickly and haven’t got upset about the family pregnancy since - making progress!

My first period post ERPC arrived on Saturday evening, very light but Sunday and Monday was a normal medium flow. However, today it looks like it’s coming to an end already, which is unusual for me. I keep thinking about the EPU Nurse telling me my first period could be lighter than usual but I can’t help worrying it’s not normal, as most people say their first is much heavier and with clots. We really want to try again this cycle but now I’m concerned I may not ovulate if my period hasn’t been usual.

@DogMom62 if it helps, I had very light periods after MVA last time round. Only 3 days and wouldn't fill a pad. They gradually got heavier but still not much at all and would even stop for a day and start again. I had an ultrasound that showed all was ok, lining was a bit thin from what I googled but they weren't concerned and I conceived on the 6th cycle. I've heard of others experiencing the same.

easier said than done but try not to worry. I’ve had two surgeries - my period after the first was very light. I lost my mind paying for accupunture and seeing a specialist convinced something was wrong.

I went onto have a healthy pregnancy. I’ve recently had another surgery and my period came back heavily - so even with the same person it varies and normal can change!

Hi guys, me again. Just a quick question, I rang the miscarriage clinic in my area today as I was referred 6 weeks ago after my second MC. They said it will take around 6 weeks for them to contact me and if i havent heard anything within that time frame to ring which I did today. They said they have me on the waiting list for a telephone consultation in August give or take (happy i dont have to wait too long but not holding my breath incase timeline changes) Has anyone had a telephone consultation and if so what happens and what do they ask? What is the process after that for e.g will they ask me to come in and run some tests? If so how long after the telephone consultation would they book that? I have so many questions but havent found the answers, thank you in advance🩷

I feel like I am having better days, but still get knocked sideways.
Yeah I have to wait until the specialist clinic signs me off. They said my last result was normal so now I have a blood test in 2 weeks time. If that’s clear I’m free to TTC. If not I’ll have to keep repeating it every few weeks.

I hope you have had a slightly better day today x

Hi, I’ve had a telephone consultation. They ask about losses, yours and your partners medical conditions, vitamins being taken etc and arrange for some blood tests first for you.

theyll likely want day2-4 bloods and possibly day 12 to look at if progesterone is rising.
so how soon that is depends on your cycle and how quick they will come back to you with results. After this they’ll arrange a further appt to discuss the results and next steps, further testing etc.

i couldn’t go in last cycle as I was on hols which was annoying so hoping to get in next week for my bloods X

Hi guys... me again.
I'm 7 weeks pregnant and have had bleeding from light spotting to passing one clot earlier this afternoon since Thursday. I have a scan at EPU tomorrow. Obviously expecting the worst. My last mc was a silent one and I didn't have any bleeding, and had surgery under GA. I'm a bit scared that this one is seeming to want to present itself and I'm going to have to deal with it fully and consciously. Doesn't feel right dampening the spirits of the birth month group I was chatting to, so thought I'd place hold here now for my inevitable seat tomorrow