Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 9 ALL welcome

[Nic2908]

New thread before we all lose eachother xx

Thank you @moosey89 They called me 4 weeks after. It really wasn’t even something that was on my mind, so it did floor me when they called.
My pregnancy tests are light, and with my last MC it took 5 weeks for them to go negative so I am really really hoping this will follow the same path. I am feeling a bit obsessive with testing while waiting to hear from them, but determined to step back from doing them this week, as I can’t change any outcome

@Figtree11 oh I'm so sorry you've had such crap news. I have no experience with partial molar but I know how you feel with the endless testing waiting for it to turn negative, it took 4 weeks for me and it felt like an eternity. I hate feeling out of control and just waiting for things to happen I found really tough. I hope you hear from Sheffield soon x

@Figtree11 that is crappy to have to wait. Do you still feel any effects of the hcg? I haven’t been testing with HPTs this time as was on holiday last week and didn’t want to have to go back to the EPU. Hopefully yours will resolve quickly xx

@Loz365 thank you. I wish I could just fast forward life a bit and skip all of this. How are you?

@CurlyWurly1991 no I feel perfectly fine & back to my usual self pre pregnancy. Will probably test again mid/end of the week again. I was also putting off testing until I had the phone call, as I have visited the EPU too many times over the last 6 months!

No they didn't really say much about it and kind of just read the result and just that they recommend me and my husband get genetic testing for it. They mentioned it can happen in a male pregnancy so I'm not sure if that means baby was a boy.
Hoping when they send the letter through, it will tell me more.

I got my 1st period after surgery yesterday and it's definitely the worst I've had including pms. Hopefully it's just our hormones sorting themselves and things will go back to normal in the next month. I'd check with the doctors though to be on the safe side.

Yep I felt the same. Every day felt like an eternity.
AF arrived late yesterday so I'm onto the next cycle. I've never conceived naturally, always had to use letrozole so it was wishful thinking to think it would work this time. We've got our appointment with recurrent miscarriage clinic in a couple of weeks so focusing on that for now and see what they say. Hoping we get some positive news

@Loz365 i hope you get some answers from your appointment, so you can have a plan of action going forwards. I have an appointment, but it’s not until November

Just posting here as a way of getting all my feelings out - feel like I’m losing my mind today

had a miscarriage at 6+3 in March and fell pregnant again straight away, no period in between. Got to almost 10 weeks and had spotting, went to for a scan and no heartbeat found.

I then spent 11 days waiting for it to pass naturally, had my other children home for half term so pushed it all to the back of my mind. On Sunday I started bleeding, which then turned into excessive bleeding. Clots the size of my hand and blood just pouring from me.

Got taken into hospital where they manually removed clots 3 times, this was so traumatic especially in the middle of the night. I was so scared. Needed to wait to be scanned and in the meantime I was nil by mouth. I was passing out, vomiting bile, had drips attached to me. Had my scan where I covered the floor and table in blood, I still can’t believe how much was coming out. Eventually found to have retained tissue.

they weren’t sure when I could have surgery so offered me pessaries as by this point I hadn’t eaten or drank anything.

I went for the pessary option just so I could get home. Had some bad cramping and passed something the size of my palm which had hard, grey parts. The bleeding has eased since then

however today I feel like I’ve lost my mind. I can’t stop crying and just want everyone to fuck off and leave me alone. I keep thinking of my baby going down the toilet and thinking that my DP would be better with someone else who can give him a child of his own. It’s almost like I’m brain has only just realised what has happened over the last 2 weeks and is in panic mode.

i’m sorry this is long but I’m trying to hide how I feel from DP and have a brave face for my DC.

@AFeastForCrows that sounds so traumatic!

Why do you feel you have to put on a face for DP? You need to talk about how you're feeling and not bottle it up inside. None of this is your fault, please talk to your partner, I'm sure he will be there for you. What you've gone through is horrific and you're dealing with a lot. As the woman all the physical impact of loss is on us and it's such a different/harder experience.

Sending all the love and hugs xx

Thank you ❤️ I’m not sure why I’m hiding it all from DP, he is amazing and was such an advocate for me in the hospital. I just feel like if I start letting it all out then I’m never going to stop, I genuinely feel battered by the whole experience.

I also feel like surely it wasn’t that bad and I’m just not being strong enough. The flashbacks to them manually removing clots are horrible, the whole thing feels like it happened to someone else

Hi everyone,

Not sure what I'm looking for, just need to get it all out as dont have anyone else I can discuss this with.

Myself and partner are 40, I have a 17 year old and he has a 7 year old. Another baby was not on our agenda but it happened.

We were both initially shocked but I came round to the idea, he was still in shock mode.

We booked an early scan due to my age, went there on Tuesday and should have been 8 weeks. She said I was measuring 6 weeks and couldn't find a heartbeat. She said she couldn't confirm if it was a viable pregnancy and I would have to go back.

In my heart I knew the pregnancy had terminated. I started spotting, very light but there. I went to the EPU yesterday and they did another scan, confirming same thing. When she pulled her instrument out there was a reasonable amount of blood on.
She said she would expect to hear a heartbeat by now and along with the spotting, she thought the pregnancy had terminated but couldn't confirm without another scan.
Everyone on here says its a week wait but she has said it has to be 2 weeks ! That's such a long time to wait!

Last night I had a little more bleeding, i assumed she had dislodged some old blood during her examination. This morning it was back to barely there, mainly just a bit when I wipe. Just now was a bit heavier when I wipe but still not filling a pad.
No pains or cramps.

I have no idea what to expect, does this sound like the miscarriage will happen naturally over the coming hours/days or could this be it and il still need medical intervention in 2 weeks after the next scan?

So sorry for long post.

@AFeastForCrows oh lovely - please don't ever diminish your experience. You have been through something truly traumatic - I have had 3 missed miscarriages but had surgical management each time to avoid having to go through the excessive bleeding and pain and I feel traumatised enough just by my experiences! My advice would be to let it out all - otherwise it'll only creep up on you and end up coming out anyway but not how you choose. Xx

Can any give me some advice or support! 😭

so 6 weeks pregnant. Monday I started brown spotting, Tuesday night bleeding when wiped, yesterday morning i woke
up as normal at 5am went to toilet lots
of bloods and 3 jelly
blobs came out they felt like a blob, I didn’t look and couldn’t see in the toilet as they sunk and the water was dark red, haven’t had much pain alart
from period pains 1.5 hours after, since then just bleeding like a period maybe a bit lighter as my periods are usually heavy, like when I wee it’s more strings of blood that sit in one place rather than red water.

now I don’t think I have passed the tissue because I didn’t really have any pain so my question is am I just sitting at home for next 3 days for the pain to get excruciating this is mentally exhausting

Sorry to hear of your experience. This thread has gone a little bit quiet so thought I'd reply to you.

I cant offer any advice as going through it myself for the first time.

I've had 4 days so far of light bleeding, probably just about fill a pad in one day but when I wee blood seems to come out more that way. No pains or cramping and no clots. It's literally like a light period. I'm wondering myself how things will progress and when.

Good luck xx

And to you so sorry! It’s awful
isnt it! I’m exactly the same one pad a day, no pain, but I did pass 3 clots yesterday morning, I say clots they felt different I must say but after that just like you described.. can I ask how far gone you are? X

I should have been 8 weeks but measured at 6 weeks and no heartbeat.

The bleeding in the pad is fairly light but when I wee more comes out that way. No clots or anything yet, it's just a dark red colour. TMI !!

Its the not knowing if this is it and will just remain like this or if and when it will progress. How will I know when its passed etc.

It's such a shit thing to have to go through !

Feel free to message me directly if you can on here, no idea if that's possible

@lola04 @Starrynight999
I'm so sorry for your losses. I was on this thread a few weeks ago after going through my second miscarriage this year and I didn't want to read & run. Hopefully I can help you both.

My first miscarriage (Feb) was a MMC at 10 weeks but baby didn't develop much past 5 weeks. The loss itself was much like labour over 8/9 days my body would get what I can only describe as labour (I have other children) which gradually increased in severity until the sac had passed. The bleeding was extremely heavy both on the pad and in the toilet.

My second miscarriage (May) at 7 weeks was much like you describe. Mostly in the toilet when I went for a wee and nowhere near as painful.
So it's really hard to say if it will get worse for you, it's shit and I'm so sorry I don't have a clear answer for you both. I'd definitely recommend making sure your EPAU scans you again to make sure you've not got any retained tissue. Hate that term and I'm sorry to use it, but it's really important to make sure it's all been passed.

Please try and take some time for yourselves away from work etc to recover from this, it's just awful to go through I know x

hi @Starrynight999 , things have maybe moved on for you but just wanted to give you my experience too if it helps.
One of my mcs, I had at home too. It started as period like bleeding and got progressively heavier over the course of a few days. I had one night of really heavy bleeding and passing lots of clots and what I assume was my womb lining. Mine wasn’t painful with cramps but more a really heavy constant ache. I was glued to my hot water bottle. My little pregnancy sac didn’t actually pass until a few days after that and once it did, the bleeding did slow down. As @JellyBean123456 said, checking for ‘retained tissue’ is the big thing as only after a few trips to epau did they class my miscarriage as ‘complete’. Hope you are doing ok, sending lots of love 💜

Hey! So sorry! It’s just awful isn’t it!
so mine has been nothing but period type pain very mild and also period bleeding of anything lighter, but my periods are heavy day 1 and 2, so I would say this is like day 3 plus apart from that gush and 3 blobs Friday morning and then Sunday I think it was passing something that looked like white and red and now still light bleeding like when I wipe and also a bit in pad, I don’t think I have passed it all with such little pain or bleeding, but I have a scan today at 1pm so we will see! X

Hi, not checked in in a while. How is everyone doing? Did anyone experience this. I had my miscarriage last month and bled for around 16 days and then stopped bleeding for around 11 days and started bleeding again for another 13 days (i would assume this was my period). I took a pregnancy test a week ago and it now shows negative ( it showed positive up until the second bleed). Feel like my cycles are so whack and out of sync now. I have PTSD and the thought of having a 3rd MC is terrifying. It makes me cry the thought of getting pregnant and being told im having a MC. I want a baby so much & will keep trying but cant say I am not petrified. Is anyone else feeling like this or felt like this? Im also in the mindset ‘if it happens it happens’. Im content in life if its not meant to be but at the same time its thinking about all the things that could be. I also had a moment the other day where I thought ‘if i get pregnant again its my 3rd pregnancy with no living children’!! Like how can I be on a 3rd pregnancy but have nothing to show for it. I feel robbed of all the experiences and joys of pregnancy as I will just be waiting for something bad to happen. I dont know if what Ive said makes any sense but hoping someone can resonate with the mixture of emotions.

@Pinkieblue24 I had my third miscarriage (all missed miscarriages) last month, as well as a previous chemical. It sucked. But my overwhelming emotion was and is anger and frustration at having to go back to step 1 AGAIN whilst I see so many of my friends and family moving forward with their lives. I really feel for you - I think I was more worried after my first and second losses than I am now though, now my thought process has moved to more practical stuff like ok, how long do we want to try for, how many losses can we deal with, would we consider adoption etc. And of course more tests for both recurrent miscarriage and sub fertility (takes us a relatively long time to get pregnant) which at least gives me something to focus on.

@moosey89 im so sorry for your losses. It’s quite literally the worst possible thing mentally and physically we can go through. I am also feeling the same way, it took us on 4th try to get pg first time and 8th time second try. I was angry but now its like im losing hope. I dont see children in my future anymore, i dont plan for them or even talk about it anymore. And I can relate to the starting from the beginning every time again. It feels like 2 steps forward, 10 steps back. Its jst the worst. I dont know how to be happy with even the TTC process again. Honestly, i feel defeated. My husband is still hopeful but everytime he brings it up i just try and avoid the subject. Mentally and physically i feel tired. Why does it have to be so hard for us?!! I had so much hope 2nd time round & it just ended in MC again. Doctors and nurses just tell you its common to have MC, your young we’re not worried but clearly there must be something wrong with me?!! I have tried thinking practical but honestly my mind doesnt want to think of anything else except for wanting to give up. Sorry for being negative and offloading my feelings on here but its one of the only things keeping me from exploding.

@Pinkieblue24 it is so hard - but please don't think there's something wrong with you. Most miscarriages are just bad luck unfortunately and there's not a lot you can do to change that.

We use home artificial insemination which actually has really helped as we keep sex for when we want to be intimate with each other, stops it feeling like a chore.

It took 2.5 years, 6 months and 9 months for my pregnancies so I totally get feeling like you're going backwards. As my first try was with my ex, the first time I TTC was 7 years ago so I'm definitely not where I imagined I'd be at 35 🙈

I've found the only thing that helps is focusing on other things that bring me joy - forcing myself into those situations (even though I don't ever want to go because I'm feeling so tired and deflated). I always feel better after doing things that I enjoy. I've also got a mantra now that I deserve to be happy, and by truly believing this it's helping me enjoy other parts of life whilst TTC is so tough. You deserve to be happy too, don't forget that. Big hugs xxx

Hi everyone. New poster on this particular thread. Firstly I’m so sorry to read some of these stories, it breaks my heart that there are so many of us in this boat :(

I had a question that I was hoping someone might be able to answer. I had surgical management for a missed miscarriage a week ago, it seemed to go well and more than anything I was just glad to get it over with. I want to move on emotionally, but I think I’ll find that hard whilst still experiencing physical symptoms. It’s only been a week, but I’m still bleeding, which I know is expected, however: the last 2 days there has been hardly any blood at all and I thought, great it’s done, but today the bloody started again (like a heavy ish period) and i just wondered if anyone else has experienced this? It’s so frustrating to think ok, it’s stopped, let’s move on, to then go to the loo and it’s there again! I know it could be much much worse but I’m just feeling fearful at the moment and struggling to see beyond it. I just want to move on :(

@Pinkieblue24 I've experienced similar to you also with my miscarriage last month.

I bled for 10 days with the miscarriage then had a negative pregnancy test about a week after I'd stopped bleeding. Had 15 days where I didn't bleed at all. And then bled really very heavily for 10 days. Some days it felt like I was miscarrying all over again as I was losing clots.

All very strange but seems to have settled now and I'm ovulating at the moment. It's so annoying how our cycle gets messed up as well as dealing with the loss itself x