Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 8 ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Exactly as the thread title says.
Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
Www.miss-support.org.uk/support/
www.blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
www.petalscharity.org/

www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk.

Link to previous thread:
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4732386-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-7-all-welcome?page=1

I’ve started to feel really sick has anyone felt like this before the mc started? Can’t get it out of my head wondering every day if it is going to start. I am going to go down the medical route but they have told me I need to wait a week x

@Nicole90134 don’t be fobbed off, if you want to do medical sooner rather than wait a week then call or go into the hospital and explain. As per NICE guidance it’s your decision and you can elect any option. You shouldn’t have been made to wait when the heartbeat has stopped x

Thank you for all the kind messages.
it’s so sad to hear others going through it but helps to few we aren’t alone.
@Loz365 we started TTC the cycle immediately after surgical management, I think I just ovulated a couple of weeks later than usual. It was a bit of an odd one as I had a faint positive before my period started so could never be sure if it was residual hcg from the MMC and that was a bit stressful (even though I’d had a negative test in between)

@CurlyWurly1991 oh i am just devastated to hear that I was so happy when you caught! Sending so so much love to you xxxx

@Loz365 i didnt wait but its now coming up to 4 months after mine with no joy, but my cycles were slightly shorter the first 2 cycles and this cycle i am ovulating late so I think my body is adjusting still. I think they say to wait till you feel mentally ready? I did not though

@Loz365 I started again asap. Passed the pregnancy naturally on 4th April and was confirmed to be complete on 8th April and bleeding had stopped. Started my OPKs on 14th April and also got a negative pregnancy test around then too. Got my peak on 20th April and now in the TWW again. I've yet to have a period but I was just glad to see I was ovulating and didn't want to miss the chance!
It's really up to the individual person/couple when they feel physically and mentally ready to start again.

@Loz365 I'm sorry you have/are going through this too. I tried straight away but it messed with my head because I wasn't quite sure when my period would be. I had a very very light bleed and was unsure what it was at first, took a frer which was positive but continued to bleed. I'll never know if it was a CP or faulty test but my period was so light I was in a panic. (I had surgery though). We ended up skipping last month so I could see what my next period was like. I'm CD 2 now and it's much heavier than the last one, closer to like it was before so I feel more reassured amd more positive TTC in May. There's no right or wrong thing to do but I felt desperate to be pregnant again and wanted to try immediately. I'm glad I've had that time now though.

I had lots of period pains in the night, fairly mild but strong than I’d had already so I wonder if things might progress naturally before I go back to speak with hospital on Sunday. Don’t want that to happen as I have my 10 year old and she doesn’t know about this or the previous pregnancy, really I just want to do surgical management asap but this is the earliest the hospital could offer.

Hi @Nicole90134 I am so sorry to hear that I understand its very hard emotionally. I had missed miscarriage diagnosed 5 days before 12 weeks scan as i was having spotting type bleeding. then had Surgical management on 2nd of April. Bleeding was verryyy minimal lasted for 5 days. and then stopped for 4 days and then has very light bleeding for another 4 days I was testing my ovulation so I got static smiley on 23rd April. Which probably means body is back to normal.
Praying for you.

@Nicole90134 sorry to hear that you’re going through it too. My experience was like @Faz19 and minimal bleeding after surgical management and body back to normal quickly (then I conceived following the first period). This MMC I haven’t had any spotting yet but I think once Your mind knows about the loss sometimes the body follows and the miscarriage starts naturally. I think they leave a few days/week between scans/appointments in case this happens, sadly they probably couldn’t accommodate everyone for surgical management because miscarriage is really quite common. I am going to request surgical again as it was very straightforward and I felt the kinder option last time, but any of the options will be ok. It’s the physical bit you have to get past before you can process it emotionally which is so very difficult. 💐 xxx

Thanks @Faz19 I didn’t even realise a missed miscarriage was a thing before this, how can our bodies be so cruel. I am going to ring the EPU today and see if they will see me sooner. I have accepted what has happened but my partner is still holding on to a glimmer of hope that we might have another scan and it will be fine. If they can’t do anything before next Thursday I will have to hold out for him so he can be certain. I’m hoping everything will return back to normal quite soon. I only have one ovary and we had been TTC for two years building up to this. I know they don’t carry out tests for one but has anyone ever had similar circumstances where they have agreed to do some tests? The one ovary is my concern

@Nicole90134 I think waiting for another scan for the inevitable is really cruel and your partner is holding onto hope which is unfair. I read on the NICE guidelines if two professionals see the scan and agree that is also acceptable as opposed to waiting for a rescan. That’s what happened to me; she got someone else in to check and agree and I was offered the 4 options there and then.
i understand waiting to see if growth catches up incase dates are wrong but a heartbeat being seen and then stopping is different.

Needing to wait for a slot for surgical management is understandable, some hospitals are busy with them some can see you in a day or two and some only do the procedure on certain days. It is fair to have to wait for this but if they make you wait for a rescan and then it’s a longish wait for your surgery appt thats unacceptable for me.

if they insist on waiting for your rescan then ask how soon after this can you have the surgery so you know what the wait is.

let us know how you get on xx

Hi, looking for some advice. I had surgical management for my mmc on Tuesday for a partial molar pregnancy. Had heavy bleeding straight after which turned to spotting and continued to have spotting the next day. Then yesterday (Thursday) started bleeding more which has carried on today and more than what I had when I miscarried naturally in January and I thought it should be less since they took everything out. Bleeding is not ridiculously heavy but just feeling quite anxious and uncertain about what's normal with surgical management. Also been getting quite a bit of cramping on my left side since the day after surgery.

Thanks everyone, I have spoken with the EPU and they have brought the appt forward to Tuesday for medical management still a short wait but better then nothing xx

@Loz365 i had a miscarriage in Feb (previous poster) but it didn’t complete and had medical management early March. Had my period 4 weeks later ( very light). Expecting my next period next week and will try after that so decided to. Wait 2 periods xx

Thanks so much for all the replies. I think I'm going to wait for my period before we start trying again. Otherwise I think I'll get myself into a stress over testing and waiting and not really knowing where I am in my cycle.

@Nicole90134 i am being seen by the assisted conception at the hospital but I had already seen my GP who did blood tests before we conceived. They know about the miscarriage and are still seeing me, we had TTC for a year prior to this and I am nearly 36. Or did you mean tests on the baby? Mine was just tested for molar not anything further as it was my first loss.

No, I meant on myself. When I spoke with them this morning they said the year resets now but due to having already had a referral before getting pregnant they would only make me wait 6 months before getting a new referral. I have moved county’s now the last referral hopefully I don’t need one again but if I do hopefully it doesn’t take as long!

I had a d and c at 12 weeks on 25th March so 4 and a half weeks ago. I came on my first period yesterday and dear god. It is beyond heavy. I’ve never had anything like it. is this usual?

@Nicole90134 oh gosh thats so annoying, i think i have a really nice GP. She did say though that they can possibly try and see why I miscarried so maybe thats why? Its insane how different care is across the country.

@Nic2908 my first 2 periods were really light for some reason, but the hospital told me it would probably be heavier. My acupuncturist says a heavy bleed is a sign of a good womb lining and my last period was insanely heavy and he was happy that things were going back to normal.

Yes it is but they said that I’ve basically proved everything is working by getting pregnant. They did say that when I get pregnant again if the spotting starts they would give me progesterone straight away. I have read in some forums it can be quite hard to get so that’s one less thing to worry about as I spotted pretty much from the get go with this one. I’m not going to wait for my next period going to track my ovulation from when the miscarriage ends and just try straight away. Wish everyone look on their journeys xx

Hi everyone, found out about the baby having stopped developing around 8 weeks on Thurs and my symptoms have now gone almost completely and boobs no longer hurting. Very keen not to miscarry naturally (have an older child at home and it’s weekend, she doesn’t know about this or previous MMC). How long did others take to miscarry naturally if no spotting etc? Last time I went about 10 days before surgery but my symptoms continued, this time I think my mind has accepted it quicker so maybe the body will get on. Just hoping I can make it to (fingers crossed) surgical management early next week. Im due to go back into to EPU at hospital tomorrow morning to do the pre D&C paperwork.

Have a noticeable baby bump which is making me sad. I was so happy when it started and now it’s just a reminder and I want the physical side past me so I can start to process my feelings.

@CurlyWurly1991 I bled on and off for two weeks then had medical management because not everything had passed so definitely think you’re doing the right thing ❤️

@Livefreely sorry to hear you had that experience. It’s so uncertain isn’t it? It makes it so much harder to process when you have to get past the physical side.

@CurlyWurly1991 sorry I can't give much of an answer to your question. Unfortunately I started bleeding and then had the MMC confirmed so it all started at the same time for me.

I'm having a rubbish day. A close friend has just announced she's pregnant and had her 12 week scan this week. Almost the same time I would have had mine. I was just starting to feel ok about everything and this has really knocked me again. Then I feel awful for feeling awful and not happy for her 😔 I'm so done with this

@CurlyWurly1991 my bleeding was minimal and started and stopped quickly over the course of 3 weeks. I had medical management in the end as I didn’t want to leave it too long and risk infection. X