Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 7. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Apologies, I didn’t realise the last thread had filled up.

Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
miss-support.org.uk/support/
blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
petalscharity.org/
www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk. I’ve had 5 MCs, and am now sadly at the end of my IVF journey, but want to keep this thread going for everyone else who might find it helpful.

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4559567-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-6-all-welcome?page=1

@Shyquiet sorry that you’re going through this now after finally getting that line, hopefully it doesn’t affect your place in the list but gives them more things to test for to help you instead. 💐

Hi. I got the news today that my baby died a few weeks ago - I should have been 10 weeks pregnant today. Got my surgery booked for tomorrow morning, though I’m terrified it’ll all come out today at home as the bleeding and cramping are slowly getting worse. I know some people would prefer this but I just want to be asleep in hospital when it all comes out. I’m so devastated and scared, just broken.

@JumbleJo so sorry 💐it sucks that you have to go through this at all but I hope you get to do it the way you’d prefer.

Congratulations 🥳 Can I ask how big your yolk sac was? I went into hospital for a 7 week scan and was measuring 5.5-6 weeks (am pretty sure of my dates) with an 8.1mm yolk sac. Based on what I've read this isn't viable. I have to go back into hospital on Friday for a follow up scan. I still have nausea etc. and my body hasn't reacted.

@fleur89 Hello 🙂

Sorry you're going through this too. The waiting is horrible.

They didn't say anything about the yolk sac, but I do have an image of my first scan and it looks a lot bigger than the embryo which I know isn't a good sign. I have a pic from my second scan too but it's rubbish quality and I can't make out the yolk sac.

I've been doing lots of reading online and I'm pretty sure I will miscarry at some point. Balancing realism with a little bit of optimism is really hard. Mine is an IVF pregnancy and apparently large yolk sac + small embryo for dates are stronger indicators for miscarriage even than in a naturally conceived pregnancy (maybe because you can be totally sure of your dates?).

My scan is on Friday too. I'll think of you and hope for the very best for you 💜 Is yours in the morning?

Hi ladies me again, I’m wondering for anyone who has had surgical management when did your periods come back? My procedure was on Friday and have just had mild pain since then and very light spotting but today the pains got a bit stronger and the bleed a bit heavier almost like a regular period pain. From what I’ve read it’s a bit too soon for my periods to be back? I’ve taken pain meds and have a hot water bottle if it’s still here later I’ll call the hospital but really don’t wanna go back there. Any insights appreciated. @JumbleJo i’m so sorry to read your post, sending love and light

Also sending love to @JumbleJo

@Laura7899 I had this with the surgery for my last MMC and it was a bit that had been missed during the procedure which my body was evicting. Have you done another test? I’d say keep an eye on it, but if you don’t have a negative HPT in 3 weeks then go back for a scan. Don’t do what I do and just wait for your period to come back, then realise 8 weeks later that it hasn’t! 🤦‍♀️

@countrypunk thank you for sharing. My rescan is 9am on Friday, two weeks after my first scan. I expected to be 7 weeks at my first scan but I had a gestational sac measuring 6+1, a 8.1mm yolk sac and no visible baby / heartbeat. They diagnosed me as too early to understand viability.

With my first I had an early scan at 6+4 and saw a healthy baby, heartbeat etc. so I knew straight away something was wrong. I then went to town on google and read about large yolk sacs and their negative outcomes. So pretty much self diagnosing as MMC but let's see on Friday for sure.

I still feel pregnant, fall asleep on the sofa at 8pm each night, constant nausea, etc. A friend of mine was in this same situation and found a heartbeat at her rescan despite a large yolk sac and measuring behind. He's now a healthy baby boy.

Tbh I've pretty much resigned myself to there being a negative outcome given the literature, but I just found out about my friend today so I guess I'm clinging on to something.

Good luck at your scan on Friday, will keep you updated as to how mine goes.

@fleur89 I really do think it could go either way for you. But I know you want to brace yourself for bad news - me too. It feels like the safest thing to do doesn't it.

I've also been to town on Google! It's impossible to stay away, even though it makes me feel like shit. But I feel a bit more prepared for bad news at least. The nurses didn't want to tell us anything at all which was mega frustrating.

I hope we both defy the odds. My scan's at 8:40. I'll update here too. Loads of luck and love to you. Xx

Thank you @Sunbird24 haven’t done a test yet they said wait 2 weeks, ended up calling the hospital my family basically dialled the number and put the phone to my ear, nurse said it’s normal & could be remaining lining coming away, unless I’m filling a pad and doubled over in pain it’s nothing to worry about apparently! I’ll keep an eye on it and test again. Thanks again for getting back to me ☺️

Wondering how @Eggling is doing today 🌻

Thank you @Sunbird24 - yesterday was horrible.
I have not called yet to our NHS infertility clinic about if they can continue our original referral or not.
Husband says to wait until I feel better, he wanted to take me back to A&E this morning as I’ve been bleeding quite a lot and unable to eat (vomiting) but I just want to stay at home now. Agreed if not feeling better by afternoon, will call the GP.

Oh @Shyquiet I'm sorry you're feeling so ill, on top of everything else, it's just awful.

Thanks @countrypunk, I have been back for yet another scan and the sac and some clots are still there. Booked in for surgery under general on Friday. I just need it sorted out now, Friday will be a month to the day since I first went to EPU with bleeding and it's starting to feel torturous. I want to be able to move on and work towards trying again with our ivf clinic.

@Eggling It must feel never ending. Two more days and you'll be on the road to recovery. I hope the staff at the EPU have been kind.

I'm sorry you're feeling so ill @Shyquiet

Passed some tissue this morning so rang EPU - I have a photo of what I passed so will show the dr tomorrow and hopefully they will do a scan before the surgery- with any luck (ha! What's luck?) it will all have passed and I won't have to have the procedure 🤞

Also been told this evening that yet another of my close friends is pregnant. Plus been told by someone else that I don't know anything about infertility, which given multiple IVF's and now this month long miscarriage saga is a kick in the teeth. Today can honestly just fuck right off. Sorry, ranting, just have no one to talk to about it all.

@Eggling rant away, we get it and we’ve got you!

Well I had my surgery today. All went well apparently. Doctor doesn't expect any issues but just check I'm definitely testing negative in 3 weeks etc etc. Getting the odd small gush of bleeding when I stand up but otherwise so far it's fine. Not needed any painkillers either since getting home. I'm hoping that's it anyway as like @Eggling I want to crack on with ivf ASAP. (I hadn't actually started yet though this was a surprise natural BFP the month we were due to start)

@StarBug12 I'm glad it went well, I hope you get a good nights sleep. Our time will come xx

Thank you @Sunbird24 xxx

I am still having trouble wrapping my head around not being pregnant anymore and feeling like I must have dreamt that I was. If it was a dream, it was a lovely dream that I was pregnant. Maybe that's how I'll come to terms with all of it?
I'll be getting labs and a hysteroscopy and doctor will advise how things look to try again. Of all is ok I have one more chance.

I just want to offer support to everyone today. It's so hard to understand and accept these shitty outcomes. I'm so sorry for the sadness and the loss we all have to endure and figure our way through. 💐

@countrypunk hope everything went as well as possible for you this morning.

I just had my rescan and it's a loss. Nothing has developed beyond a large yolk sac so things must have stopped progressing around a month ago. Annoying there was such a lag between appointments.

Frustrating thing is there's doctors strikes next week so they're not sure when I can get surgery. By the time this is all over it'll be 6 weeks at this rate, that can't be good for me mentally or physically. Waiting to hear about the earliest available slot. Unfortunately medical management also requires hospital care at first and therefore is impacted by the strikes too 🤦‍♀️

@fleur89 I'm so sorry. Miscarriage also confirmed for me this morning. It looks like it stopped developing the day of our last scan. I feel strangely calm. Just want to be able to move on now.

I think I want to go for surgery too. How frustrating about the strikes. Are they saying they think they'll be able to get you in next week despite them? Sending you ♥️🌷

@Mumtobabyhavoc Sending you support too. I feel like I've run out of words for it all.

Love to everyone else too.

@countrypunk so sorry to hear your news too 💗 Earliest I can get booked in for surgery is next Friday, it feels like a lifetime away. They just talked me through the risks and although small I'm now freaking out a bit and reconsidering medical as they can do that at the beginning of the week. Need to decide today as they're really overrun and slots are getting booked fast

@Mumtobabyhavoc I hear you, it's such a lot to wrap your head around. What you said about it being a lovely dream really resonates with me, that sums it up exactly. I still find myself touching my belly every now and then even though I know there's nothing there. I hope all your tests come back ok. If you don't mind me asking, why have they recommended the hysteroscopy? I'm wondering about pushing for this with out fertility clinic.

@fleur89 I'm so sorry, doubly frustrating that you can't get booked in quickly. It's awful to have it drag on for so long. Next Friday I'm sure feels so far away but it will come round, as everything always does.

@countrypunk oh I'm so sorry, I was really hoping it would work out for you. I get what you mean about strangely calm, I have found things come in waves so I feel like I'm coping really well and then suddenly I'm a mess.

I'm at the hospital, had a scan and it looks like what I passed yesterday was the pregnancy tissue so we are not doing surgery today. There is a little bit of a thickened area with blood supply still at the top of my uterus so apparently that may pass or just resolve itself, I am back in 10 days to check. We have our review booked in with the ivf clinic on two weeks and then I'm just desperate to start trying again.