Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 7. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Apologies, I didn’t realise the last thread had filled up.

Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
miss-support.org.uk/support/
blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
petalscharity.org/
www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk. I’ve had 5 MCs, and am now sadly at the end of my IVF journey, but want to keep this thread going for everyone else who might find it helpful.

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4559567-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-6-all-welcome?page=1

@fleur89 Did they advise you go for surgical or medical rather than wait for things to happen naturally? I'm going to wait a week and then if things haven't progressed I'll go for surgical. I may go for the option where you're awake and just have local anaesthetic. But I want to see if things happen naturally first. I'm having an acupuncture session tomorrow. I'm not normally a believer in that kind of thing but I like the practitioner and she says she can do a session that encourages nature to take its course. I really hope you're OK. It's such a lot isn't it?

@Eggling Hello 💜 That sounds as positive as can be in the circs? I hear you about wanting to try again asap. I do feel like I need an IVF break though. I think we will try naturally for a few months before the next round - you never know! Lots of love.

So sorry for your losses @fleur89 , @countrypunk.

@Eggling hope you are ok and your physical recovery can begin now.

I believe my one came out last night, pain is more manageable this morning.

Will def start trying again in few months time once we have recovered, at least we have some hope now, even it took years to get this point.

Hope all you and your families best of luck in this horrible journey.

@countrypunk they advised to opt in for either medical or surgical as a month has now passed based on dates and there's been no progression. Plus I had to wait two weeks between appointments for a rescan so I guess I tested the waiting option already. I'm provisionally booked in for medical management as they had one remaining slot available on Tuesday. Thinking it should hopefully be manageable because things stopped progressing around 5.5 weeks. I can still change my mind and go for surgery next Friday but I just want to move on tbh, I should be 9+2 today so it's feeling a bit of a drag. I did postnatal acupuncture after my first and I think it really helped, many of my friends do it for fertility / ivf and also swore by it. I think it's worth exploring 💗

@Shyquiet Thank you. I'm so sorry for your loss too  Has the pain been really bad? I'm a bit scared.

@fleur89 That makes sense. We're at similar stages - I should have been 9+3 today. I had acu for 6 months when we were trying naturally and no luck, but I'm gonna give it another go. Lots of love to you, I hope things get moving very soon.

@Eggling my fertility doctor advised at our follow-up appt yesterday re the hysteroscopy to ensure everything is ok and to confirm all previous tissue has been removed. It's a bit of a blur; the convo was short; and I recall saying I'd like the reassurance.
How are you managing?

@countrypunk "running out of words" is apt. Nothing seems quite right, does it?

Ah thanks @Mumtobabyhavoc I might mention it at our review and see what they say. All seems to look fine on the ultrasounds but I'm wondering if we need to look a bit more carefully.

Thanks @Shyquiet how are you feeling today? I hope the bleeding is settling and you are able to get some rest.

I had a bit of a breakdown yesterday and couldn't see a way forwards, just couldn't stop crying. Then this morning I was just exhausted, could not open my eyes so I ended up having a lie in for the first time in years as DH got up with DD. I feel a bit more even today, just really really impatient for our review. I'm also feeling a bit lonely as don't feel like my friends (those who are aware of our losses and struggles over the past year) have really been there, so don't really have anyone except DH to talk to in real life. Plus everyone I know is pregnant anyway 🙄 god this is all so rubbish.

@countrypunk thank you, currently waiting at EPU for my appointment 🙏 Sending lots of love to you this week too, hope you're feeling okay.

Happy to write about my experience with medical management afterwards if that would help anyone here 💗

@fleur89 Morning 💜 Nothing has happened naturally for me yet so I'm waiting for the EPU to call me back about surgery this week. I'd be interested to hear about your experience of medical management.

@Eggling I hope you're feeling better today. I had a similar day yesterday - lots of crying and taking out my emotions on partner. It's very very hard isn't it. Understatement of the fucking century!

@Mumtobabyhavoc Did you have IVF too? I'm not sure where to go from here. I made 2 embryos from our first round but the first didn't stick and this is the result of the second. If I can't make normal embryos I don't want to go through it all again. I feel like everything we've been through over the past few months has been completely and utterly pointless. I have absolutely nothing to show for it.

@fleur89 I hope things are going ok, thinking of you 

@countrypunk I think the ups and downs are probably par for the course. I'm feeling alright today but there were a few desperate moments over the weekend. I hope you hear from EPU soon. Even though I didn't end up actually having the surgery, it might be comforting for you to know that the drs, nurses and anaesthetist were all so lovely and kind while I was in the hospital (this actually made me cry more but it's better than the alternative) and really did seem to be trying to be as sensitive as possible. It's so so hard, hope you're being looked after ❤️

@Eggling They just called - I'm in tomorrow for bloods etc, op hopefully early next week. Might happen naturally of course. My partner's away from Friday to Monday with work. Sod's law it'll happen then. Just to pile shit on shit!

Not in a good place today.

@countrypunk I'm sorry you're having a rough day. It's totally understandable, it's a completely shit situation, and it feels overwhelming trying to find a way forward. Are you off work? Just wondering if you can take a bit of time to try and just press pause on the outside world, go back to bed or make a nest in the sofa and cry / sleep / watch comfort tv. I totally get how hard it is when you're waiting for something to happen (and also don't want it to happen because it's a horrible thing to go through). That sort of being in limbo is so stressful, it's good you have a plan with the hospital but it doesn't make it any easier for you now.

@Eggling I'm not off work but I am working from home. I just want to get everything sorted before I take some time off properly so I'm not worrying when trying to recover.

Amazingly it looks like my DP might not have to go on this work trip now. He's explained the situation in full and they're being sympathetic. Fingers crossed.

Thank you for your kind words and support 💜 My boss is being very understanding and I'm not doing any meetings, so at least I can sit at my desk in my dressing gown.

Do you know when you'll have your follow up yet with your clinic?

@countrypunk I had a donor embryo.

@countrypunk I'm glad your boss and your DH works are sympathetic, it makes a huge difference. It'll be good if you have DH with you this weekend, even if nothing actually happens over the weekend it might be reassuring to know you're not alone.

We have our review booked next Friday, i have a scan at EPU on Monday to hopefully confirm all is well then hopefully can get going again asap. I've got a long list of questions I want to ask!

@Eggling That all sounds positive 🙂 I want to get trying again asap too, I hear you may be more fertile in the 3 months after a miscarriage.

Thank you @Eggling and @countrypunk 💕
As I expected, my body reacted faster than the doctors thought it would to the procedure. This happened when I was induced to give birth to my daughter.

They inserted 4 misoprostol tablets into my vagina at 10.45am, I was then monitored in a private room for 30 minutes to rule out any adverse effects. Once they'd checked my blood pressure, pulse and temperature I was released with a prescription for dihydrocoedine (pain relief, to be taken every six hours) and metochlopramide (anti-sickness, only to be taken if I feel nauseous).

I walked home (45 minutes) from hospital as they said things wouldn't kick off for 3 hours. When I arrived home around noon I realised I'd started bleeding lightly, I put a pad in at hospital so that was fine. By 12.30pm the cramping picked up pace and I started passing clots.

Feeling okay, just like day 1 period cramps. I guess the medication is dampening the pain though. The nurse said I shouldn't experience too much pain as the baby stopped developing around 5.5-6 weeks. It's passing clots that cause the pain as the uterus is contracting to push them out.

Still very much in the midst of it all but feeling better than I expected symptom-wise. Just curled up on the sofa with tea, homemade flapjacks and Netflix while my mum looks after my 1 year old and husband works from home upstairs just in case I need to rush to A&E (if I pass clots larger than the palm of my hand or feel in unbearable pain).

So far I think medical management has been the right decision for me. I'll let you know how things progress from here later today.

I guess my one warning so far is that things can kick off sooner than expected - for me it only took around 60-90 minutes. Also, stock up on those massive maxi pads and maternity style disposable pants so you don't ruin clothes.

Feeling so relieved to be finally getting treatment after what's ended up being 5 weeks since the baby unfortunately passed.

Think I just passed the sac, that'd be 3.5 hours since they first inserted the tablets. Hopefully the worst is over 🙏

@fleur89 you're doing amazingly today 💕 I hope things are starting to settle for you now. Interesting what you say about induction working quickly for you when you had your daughter, I was induced but it didn't work (had contractions but didn't dilate) so I wonder if that's connected to the misoprostol not working for me? I was told that once the sac has passed bleeding should begin to ease and I found that to be true, hopefully it's done for you now and you can have a good sleep tonight.

@fleur89 Thank you for sharing that. It sounds like you're coping really well 💜 I'm glad you've been able to rest and delegate care for your daughter, and I hope you're through the worst of it - it sounds like it - and get a good night's sleep tonight.

The waiting to get to this stage is really hard isn't it.

I do wonder why hospitals don't give pain relief to women who go for conservative management. I've stocked up on cocodamol just in case.

Thank you for the kind messages. The cramping pretty much stopped around 6pm last night. Today I've not passed any clots but am still bleeding, much like the heavier flow days of a period. Feeling very tired, didn't sleep much last night (even though my daughter slept through - win!).

Focusing on resting up this week, as of today I have started taking my fertility supplements and seed cycling, and from tomorrow will revert to a Mediterranean style diet in the hope this will prime my body for TTC when it's ready again.

Apparently they will call me tomorrow to check how I've gotten on. Then in 2 weeks time I need to check in again to confirm the bleeding has stopped. If it hasn't then they'll arrange a scan to check for retained products. In around 2-3 weeks' time I'll take a pregnancy to confirm all is clear too.

Agree that those adopting the wait and see approach should also be prescribed painkillers in case things kick off naturally. They really helped me.

So interesting about your experience with the induction @Eggling I think there's some weight to that based on our experiences.

Wishing you well this week @countrypunk and hope they can arrange surgery for you soon

@fleur89 It sounds like you're on the road to recovery which is great. Can I ask, what's seed cycling?

My surgery is booked for Saturday morning. I feel relieved and also scared.

@countrypunk I read about seed cycling recently online. I'm skeptical about these things but no harm in trying as it's healthy, etc. During the first half of your cycle (until you ovulate), you take 1 tbsp ground flaxseed + 1 tbsp ground pumpkin seeds to support boosting oestrogen. After you ovulate, switch to 1 tbsp sesame seeds + 1 tbsp sunflower seeds to help support an increase in progesterone. It's mostly anecdotal evidence at this stage but willing to give it a go to see if it helps regulate my cycle / fall pregnant again.

Glad you've your surgery booked in, that's great news. Can totally understand that you're nervous, I'm sure it will go well and you'll be in good hands throughout. 💗

@fleur89 Thank you, that's interesting. I'm on a cocktail of fertility supplements already, probably none of which are doing anything whatsoever!

Hope everyone else is doing OK.

Hope everyone is doing OK. I haven’t posted on here for a while but just wanted to come on as I had a D&C for a MMC in December.

Since then my periods have been one or two drops of blood a month. I went to see a specialist this week and I have Asherman’s Syndrome - scarring from the D&C which means my uterine lining can’t build up and I can’t get pregnant.

The solution is to have another operation in April to remove the scars, then should get normal periods again.

I don’t want to scare anyone off having a D&C/surgical management - the consultant reckons this happens to 5% of people. However, just want to raise awareness as it’s something the NHS doesn’t really flag / don’t have the skills to know much about. So if you or anyone you know ends up with no periods or much lighter after a D&C it’s worth getting checked as it’s better to sort it sooner.

thinking of everyone going through a MC right now x

@countrypunk haha me too re cocktail of fertility supplements, mine worked first cycle both times I fell pregnant (1 successful, 1 MMC) so I'm back on the same ones again now.

@Hopefulhoney6 thank you so much for sharing - so important to raise awareness. This wasn't mentioned at all to me in hospital when they talked me through the options. I actually found out this morning that this exact thing you describe happened to a friend of mine. She had the second procedure to remove the scarring and it was successful. She now has a healthy baby boy 🥰 Wishing you the same success too 💗