Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 7. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Apologies, I didn’t realise the last thread had filled up.

Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
miss-support.org.uk/support/
blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
petalscharity.org/
www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk. I’ve had 5 MCs, and am now sadly at the end of my IVF journey, but want to keep this thread going for everyone else who might find it helpful.

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4559567-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-6-all-welcome?page=1

Welcome @WolfMother326 - great name! - though I’m really sorry you’re here. I have a nearly 3yo and am almost 38 so very similar stages. It’s hard not knowing if we’ll get a sibling, and horrible having to go through surgery. It totally makes sense to be sad. You can be sad here :)

I’d call the EPU about today’s test and let them know. They may call you in for a scan or ask you to test again in a week. I’d keep testing myself anyway in another week just to make sure. Don’t bother with a digital, a cheapie is fine, but personally I’d go for a sensitive (10 rather than 25) just to make sure. It wouldn’t show for ovulation but Could just be hormones are taking a while to settle, or may suggest retained products. Keep us posted.

Hi @WolfMother326 , I've been thinking about you over the last few days - glad to hear you are doing okay at the moment. I would definitely call EPU about the test result to see what they advise, in case they want to check for retained tissue. We were on similar timelines so I'm at the 3 week point tomorrow and am keeping fingers crossed I get a negative test (jumped early and did one last week which was still positive).

@WolfMother326 just want to offer my support. 💐

Hello all, thanks for the welcome.

@CluelessInLondon good to see you here- how are you feeling?

@Oxalis00 that's exactly how I feel. The other day I cried seeing two siblings playing in the park :(

I've called the EPU. They said to test again in 1 week, as I don't feel unwell or have symptoms they hope they won't need to do anything else but if still positive next week they'll first do a blood test.

@WolfMother326 I've been up and down - sometimes I feel totally normal and then at other times I feel like an absolute wreck. I guess it's to be expected so I'm trying not to force myself to feel or behave a particular way. It all still feels a bit surreal - it's strange that something so profoundly life-changing has happened but most people I know have no idea and everything is just carrying on as normal.

It's good that you've been able to speak to the EPU and get a bit of reassurance - keeping fingers crossed for you that you get that negative test soon. I guess this is the only time any of us actually want to see a negative pregnancy test!

Morning everyone, it's the end of the week and I hope there are some lovely things for people to look forward to this weekend. 🌼

Just wanted to share that I did my 3 week post-surgery pregnancy test this morning and got the biggest, fattest negative imaginable. It's crazy how happy and relieved I am about it, but it feels like a massive milestone and it's a real weight off my shoulders.

@CluelessInLondon ah I'm glad - the only time we're happy about a negative test eh? But it's such a relief. Hope tour cycles get back on track quickly now. X

@CluelessInLondon that's brilliant news! It is such a relief. I had mine a couple of days ago so I'm also in the waiting game for my period. Started using OPKs and BBTs to track my cycle but feeling a bit obsessed as it's the only thing I can control! 😬

@13lucy I think the idea of control in any of this is an illusion! We can't really control anything our bodies are doing, but doing tests and looking at lines helps us to feel like we can...and I am a bit of a control freak generally so not being able to do anything about any of this really doesn't sit well with me!

@CluelessInLondon I totally agree! Just hoping to have some reassurance that my body is getting it's cycle back to put my mind at ease. Time feels like it drags but we really shouldn't wish it away!

Hi @13Lucy and @CluelessInLondon . Glad things are settling for you - physically at least. Fingers crossed for your next steps in this stressful journey xx

After my depressive meltdown on Monday I feel a bit better. I’ve decided to just let be what will be.

Not tracking anything- not cycles, not temp, not CM. Not even logging sex. If we get pregnant then we do but knowing when to ‘date’ it doesn’t really matter in the early stages anyway. This will just let me relax.

And we will be off via the DE route in the new year if that’s what nature decides.

In the meantime, I can have a nice glass of wine tonight.

Thanks everyone for your kindness ❤️

@Noodles4Me Glad you are feeling a bit better now. Not getting caught up in the TTC admin sounds like a very good plan - and you never know what might happen if you relax and just let things go where they will. What matters most is that whatever you do next feels right for you. ❤ And the glass of wine tonight is also an excellent idea, I think it's fair to say you deserve it.

Glad you got that negative @CluelessInLondon, definitely a step in the right direction!

Hi ladies, hope you are all well. I’ve been lurking here for a while so thought I would officially join 👋🏻.

We’ve been TTC #3 since December and just had our third miscarriage. I’ve had a chemical in December, mmc in March and mc a few weeks ago. For this most recent mc, I was due to have a Mva but miscarried a few days earlier at home. I was able to ‘collect’ the pregnancy to be sent for genetic testing but unfortunately they’ve sent a letter to advise there wasn’t enough tissue to test. I’ve been referred to the recurrent miscarriage clinic but I know that there is a currently a 12 week wait so a bit in limbo at the moment.

I feel like I’ve lost a bit of confidence in what to do for best when TTC, the vitamins I should be taking etc. as what worked with my successful pregnancies hasn’t worked now.

Sorry that everyone finds themselves here but I’m so grateful to have these spaces to share with others 💜

Oh @xxcxdonxx I’m so sorry to see you here. I remember your name from the MC boards from your MMC. What a miserable turn of events since then - I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sure it’s really difficult not knowing whether there’s anything particular having an effect, and what you might be able to do about it. Have you had any tests already? Sending strength. X

Thanks @Oxalis00 , it’s so bittersweet to see a familiar name!
The midwife at epu had said during my scans that everything else looked good and it was just down to bad luck but it feels like there must be something that can be done.
I’ve to go for bloods this week so hopefully that should help eliminate some things at least.

How are you getting on? x

Hi everyone, hope you're well.

So I posted a few days ago about having had a faint positive pregnancy test 3 weeks after a surgical management of miscarriage. I phoned the EPU and they said to test again next week. I've since started bleeding a bit. I'm spotting pink blood, no clots. I have very subtle cramps and its not a lot of blood. I'm guessing this isn't my period, probably an infection or retained products from the miscarriage? I'll phone the EPU tomorrow when they open but wanted to see what you all thought.

So just to update my previous post, I feel like I'm getting my period. Having exactly the heavier bleeding of day 1 of cycle after spotting last night (always start my period in evening). Is it possible I've got my period at just over 3 weeks after smm? I was bleeding for 10 days before having the procedure, so obviously the miscarriage started much earlier than the date it was removed surgically. I'm confused.

@WolfMother326 anything is possible, our bodies do weird things when it comes to reactions to hormonal changes - 3 weeks is within the realms of my own experience. Try not to compare this to your normal cycle though, just kind of go with it for the next few days, do another test towards the end of the week.

So sad to see some familar names from the other thread here now too. I hope you're all doing okay.

I had a really good weekend - we were away for a wedding but I think the combo of a few days of little sleep, a hangover, seeing all the wave of light posts and going back to work tomorrow for the first time since it happened have me a little fragile tonight. Sometimes, I still don't think I really believe any of this has actually happened, it all feels so surreal.

Thanks @Sunbird24, I appreciate that ♡

I thought people might appreciate these. I found them comforting when my loss was fresh 💕

Morning all, it's a new week and I hope the start of things feeling better for everyone who is going through this rubbish experience. ❤

@xxcxdonxx Welcome and I am so sorry to hear about your losses. I hope the tests start to give you some answers and help with what to do next.

@WolfMother326 How are you feeling today? Hopefully the EPU can advise if there's anything you need to do.

@Bugdem123 I know what you mean about it feeling surreal - there are times when I think none of it can have happened and I must still be pregnant, even though I know perfectly well that I'm not. It's hard to get that feeling of "I should have been X weeks pregnant now" out of my mind. It's good to hear that you had a nice weekend though, even if you were feeling a bit overwhelmed afterwards - I think having some good experiences is the reminder that things will gradually get better. Good luck going back to work today.

@SnookyPook Thanks for sharing those - I like the bookcase graphic, there's something quite uplifting about it.

I got all excited on Saturday as it looked like ovulation was on its way, but then my next test was a lot fainter so I guess not. It doesn't exactly matter that much at the moment as we won't TTC again until after I've had a period, but there's a bit of a sense of checking off the milestones so I would just feel better if I had a positive ovulation test this month!

Thanks for checking in @CluelessInLondon.
Just spoke to the EPU, they said completely normal to have a period now, as I had a missed miscarriage, my body thinks its been 4+ weeks. So I feel reassured and hope to get back to my normal cycle. Definitely having a heavier period but not feeling unwell.

Hey everyone, how are you all getting on?

My first week back at work has been a struggle. I'm finding myself very upset after I finish and for the rest of the night. I'm pretty sure my period is starting today as I'm cramping and spotting which might explain it as I do get really bad PMS for a few days before it starts. Hope you're all having a better week.