Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 7. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Apologies, I didn’t realise the last thread had filled up.

Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
miss-support.org.uk/support/
blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
petalscharity.org/
www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk. I’ve had 5 MCs, and am now sadly at the end of my IVF journey, but want to keep this thread going for everyone else who might find it helpful.

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4559567-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-6-all-welcome?page=1

It's so awful. I'm so sorry you have to wait. The best advice I can give is get the GP to refer you to EPU as they'll want their own scans and it gets you in the system. I still had to wait a week but once they accepted my clinics report, they booked me the following day for the surgical management. It's a torturous week of feeling in total limbo.
I also had to do the brave face for my DD, who had her birthday this weekend, and honestly as much as it hurt, it helped too. I'm holding my perfect little miracle all the closer. I hope the home visit goes well! Thinking of you and sending much love back. Its bloody awful in so many ways. X

Thanks all for asking after me. I had the surgical management on Friday after a scan confirmed the medical management wasn't doing anything. Had a bit of a panic attack before the surgery but from what they've said it went okay, and they did a scan when still under anaesthetic which has them confident that they got everything. Pregnancy test to be taken 2 weeks after procedure.

Bleeding Saturday and Sunday has been very light. However yesterday and today has seemed a little heavier - not to the levels where they would be concerned as I'm not filling a pad, but every time I wipe it's bright red so very different to what I've had down there before. I also feel like using the toilet generally feels different and it's had me very freaked out. I'm waiting for a call back, but I think it's my anxiety rather than a problem. Just very freaked out generally by lots of little things...

Glad to hear from you @Khanga27 and glad it went as well as it could have done. My bleeding was up and down for a week or so, worse on days when I was more active but now two weeks on has pretty much stopped. WRT to things feeling different I wonder if it's because your cervix will be open? I'm not medically trained though so I may be talking shit!

New here - we just had a very early loss - still bleeding from it
Was our first time concieving

Welcome but also sorry you’re joining us 🙂

How long have you known? I’m a month on from finding out it wasn’t going to work & 2 weeks from surgery. It’s easier now but I still find myself falling into deeply sad moments.

I had similar @Khanga27, I thought the bleeding had stopped on day 2 but I had quite pinky reddish blood & a heavier volume when wiping for about a week from day 4. It was so light outside of loo breaks I just wore normal underwear on most days.

I also had weird toilet sensations and at times just pain after my surgery. It start 4 days after and went on for 1 week. I’m now 2 weeks since surgery and very, very slight spotting light blood when wiping but only occasionally so hoping that’s that. My doc said to do a test 3 weeks later but I did one last week (test addict!) & it was fairly faint.

Ours was an ivf baby but whilst we wait for our remaining embryos to be tested, we’re going to try naturally again asap.

Wishing you a very speedy recovery @Khanga27, hopefully the other issues work themselves out and they're able to ease your anxiety a bit (100% understand being anxious about everything).

Things are very sad here. Despite having a private scan locally at 6w+4d showing no heartbeat, our IVF clinic in London are insisting I continue taking all my medication (injection, pills, gels) until our scan with them on Friday. All my symptoms have disappeared and I'm still bleeding, although it's mostly brown now. I thinks it's only the progresterone meds that are keeping everything in place.

I was livid yesterday; my GP surgery promised to do an urgent referral to EPU as I wanted to be in the system down here in case I need surgical management. I still hadn't heard anything by yesterday lunchtime so i called and found out the referral was sitting in a in-tray with medical secretaries as it hadn't been marked as urgent 😡. They phoned EPU immediately and got me an appointment for Thursday; I'll be 7 weeks on the dot by then, so I'm hoping I'll be able to get some closure and avoid the trek up to London to the IVF clinic.

This is so heartbreaking, I'm having to drop my DD at school every day and put on a brave face, knowing I'm carrying around her sibling that she'll never get to meet.

I just want it over so we can start to move on.

@Khanga27 - I'm sorry the medical didn't work but I'm glad it's hopefully over for you in terms of management. My bleeding was up and down for a bit after the procedure too. It's absolutely understandable to feel anxious and I hope the call back put your mind at rest.

@MindatWork - I'm so sorry you're going through this. I also felt having to take the medications was a bit brutal. That's absolutely outrageous with your GP, glad they've managed to sort it now and you'll be seen by EPU. They'll want to manage it themselves and will likely want to discount scans elsewhere so it's always best to be with them. The last thing you need is to be going up to the London clinic again.
I felt very similar with regards to my DD, trying to make her days happy and special, knowing that her little brother and sister wasn't coming home. That time between first scan and management felt like forever. I hope things get a bit clearer in terms of a plan tomorrow. Thinking of you.

Just reading the new posts and heart breaking all over again. I'm mostly okay these days, but I'm wondering if there will always be a trigger at times. I still have to deal with the bags on my dresser with the keepsakes/memory things given to me at hospital after my surgery.
Sending love to everyone here. 💖

Thank you
It was confirmed to be not viable very recently - was an early miscarriage

Sorry to hear re your news & situation... thinking of you

Just going through my very recent early miscarriage

Just wanted to share that i did tommys miscarriage supoort tool calculator

& sent results to my gp as they suggest

I found that tool helpful

Im glad they are now recently giving females progesterone after one (/ their first) miscarriage ...

Its new advice/ research / news & tommys do say to share that with your gp ^

Just wanted to share incase others here like me havent tried progesterone yet

And to highlight that sometimes sharing your results from the tommys tool can maybe help / encourage some Gps to help re that

I'm still following this thread as I got a lot of support when I had my mmc at the start of the year so sorry for all the losses

@worldwidetravel2017 I just wanted to comment on your post about the progesterone. I done a lot of research on this after my mmc in feb as I believe low progesterone may have been the cause of mine I had spotting before my mc and also with my first pregnancy I also have long irregular periods. I had a lot of anxiety that I was going to have to fight for it if I got pregnant again but I was pleasantly surprised. I had spotting at 5 weeks in this pregnancy was seen by epu very quickly and was prescribed it straight away with no issues did not have to fight for it at all. I get it on repeat now from my GP until I'm 16 weeks. i am now almost 14 weeks and I have had no bleeding since being put on the progesterone so I would also highly recommend it to others in similar situations

Thank you - i really appreciate this post

Lovely to hear lovely stories too

Hi everyone, jumping in here for support from people in the same crappy boat. First pregnancy, started to bleed on Saturday night and found out in a scan at EGU yesterday morning at 9+1 that there's no heartbeat (saw a heartbeat 10 days earlier at a private scan, although baby was measuring smaller than I had expected, which had me worried). I'm booked in for a second scan to confirm on the 21st, and absolutely hate the feeling of being in limbo until then when I already know the pregnancy isn't viable anymore. It's also really hard not knowing what's going on inside my body - I'm still bleeding but not all that much, and I'm having some mild cramping/discomfort but again nothing really bad. I really hate not knowing what's going to happen and when, and I'm frightened of what comes next.

I knew it was going to be bad news at the scan and thought I was at least a bit prepared for it, but I'm still totally heartbroken - every couple of hours I start crying and feel like I'm never going to stop. Rationally I knew we were still in the highest-risk part of the pregnancy and we kept trying to talk in terms of "if we get to 12 weeks", but it's really hard not to look ahead and start thinking about telling people and planning for what comes next.

Huge sympathy and hugs for everyone who is experiencing or dealing with the aftermath of a loss at the moment.

@CluelessInLondon so sorry to read your news

Do consider talking to Tommys baby charity - i spoke to Such a kind lady there the other day

Also gynae told me it was not my fault & talked about how common miscarriage is.

Let yourself feel all the feels
Im still bleeding.
I cry, i get angry, my partner tries to make me laugh & we dance in the kitchen a bit too

Ive just ordered a book called life almost as i think it may give me some comfort

@worldwidetravel2017 Thank you, and sorry for your loss too. It's so difficult to know what to do or how to behave - and I know there is no 'right' way, everyone is different. It's really hard right now to be rational and remember all the things I know about how miscarriage is common, it's usually just random and it's nobody's fault - when I'm at my most emotional I keep feeling like my body has failed me and that's really hard to deal with.

Your body has not failed you and its not your fault.

Will take time to process - grieve etc

Be kind to yourself

@CluelessInLondon im so very sorry
youre going through this - I think it’s absolutely barbaric they make you wait so long. What in earth do they possible think could happen in that time period to magically fix things?

Im 7 weeks today and have a scan at EPU this morning but I know the baby’s gone. I just hope they don’t make me come back to ‘confirm’ a week later or I’ll lose my mind 😫.

Sending love and strength xxxx

Just coming back for a bit of moral support, came into work this morning, was feeling a bit wobbly but getting in with things until the head teacher popped round as usual just to say good morning to everyone, asked if I was ok and I just burst into tears. Sat in the staff room now trying to get myself together but I can't seem to stop, it's two weeks on from my surgical management so not sure if it's because it's an "anniversary", if there's hormonal stuff going on, or if it's just because it's shit.

Thank you, and the same to you too - I hope your scan this morning at least allows you to move forward. The feeling of being in limbo and unable to do anything is so horrible.

@EdithGrantham Sending you a hand-hold for how you're feeling today - it's hard when you're trying to get back to normal, but I think if you need to have a good cry then that's what you have to do.

We had our scan today; thankfully they were able to confirm a missed miscarriage so I’m booked in for surgical management on Monday. Still feel numb really - I’ve informed the ivf clinic and will stop taking my progesterone meds now.

I expect I’ll pass the pregnancy naturally over the weekend but wanted to book the surgical as a back up in case nothing happens. This is such a weird headspace to be in 😵‍💫

Sorry to hear
Do consider talking to tommys baby charity - they really helped me this week -, i felt so heard

So sorry to hear all the recent joiners stories. Sending massive hugs all round. My MMC was back in April and my due date would have been next month and I have been having so many complicated emotions around that. Not least as I recently had a couple of days of new hope, only to have a chemical pregnancy. Literally BFP and then started bleeding 5 days later. I barely had time to get used to the idea, but it's just brought all the grief even more to the fore all over again. This most recent one has sort of rapidly mingled with my April loss. I'm feeling a little bit hopeless just now tbh, and worried about what two in a row means for my eggs etc. However I'm also relieved that if this one wasn't viable it ended before it properly got going. It's hard. You just have to take it one day at a time don't you. And I'm glad that I was able to experience joy and hope again even if it was short-lived. I wasn't sure how I'd feel on seeing two lines again but I was excited. And I hope I will be again in the future. Every new pregnancy is a possibility for hope and joy and a cause for celebration for as long as it lasts. That's how I'm trying to see it. 💕

Lots of love to you all. ❤️

@SnookyPook so sorry to hear about the cp

Can relate to the getting a positive result and bleeding soon after ...

Eggs wise - have you tried coq10 ? Menna be good 4 egg quality
Lots of American fertility drs recommend it

Ive just started it

Keep the hope