Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 7. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Apologies, I didn’t realise the last thread had filled up.

Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
miss-support.org.uk/support/
blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
petalscharity.org/
www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk. I’ve had 5 MCs, and am now sadly at the end of my IVF journey, but want to keep this thread going for everyone else who might find it helpful.

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4559567-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-6-all-welcome?page=1

Sending love to old members and new members of this shitty club, all in this together ❤️❤️

@Charlotte390 sorry to hear your sad news. This thread is a very supportive thread as you have people who have gone through what you have been through-I found it.easier to express here as no one I knew had gone through what I had. We are here for you ❤️

@EdithGrantham you must be exhausted. Wish you some peaceful rest tonight. 💖

@EdithGrantham - Glad you're home and resting, you must be shattered. It went okay thank you, the op itself was absolutely fine. Bit tearful when I went off to sleep and woke up the same. Mainly just because it hit home what they were taking. But got discharged very soon after and home by 7. Physically feel absolutely fine now, not sore and barely bleeding. So that's something at least! DD is staying with mum for the day so I can mope and process it all.
Test in three weeks to see if it's all negative, which coincidentally was my DD's due date.

@Charlotte390 - I'm so so sorry for your loss. I hope you're surrounded with love and support and doing okay as you can. Thinking of you x

Thank you all so much for your kind words. I had to go back to the hospital today to give 7 vials of blood for testing - hopefully I won't have to go back again!! They seem determined to empty out my veins. Just feeling the cramping a bit more this evening but I have been trying to get out and about a little, so probably need to get more rest.

I'm so sorry for all of your experiences too, it really is a comfort to know that we're all in this and sending strength to you all xx

Evening everyone. Hope you’re all doing ok. It feels so sad that someone new seems to join everyday but I hope that you’re finding comfort and support here ❤️ To the ladies who have just had surgery, I’m glad it all went ok and now the “physical” part is over, you can concentrate on the emotional healing.
@Charlotte390 I’m so sorry for your traumatic and heart wrenching experience. I’ve only had first trimester losses and have found those hard enough, I can’t imagine what it must be like to experience a later loss. You’ve got a lot of support and care here xx

Hey everyone, just wanted to give an update after my surgical management last Tuesday. I felt pretty good by Thursday AM but had pain Thurs PM whenever I went to the loo or passed gas. That’s continued. A quick google says a lot of women get it but it’s still awful and yet another thing to deal with 😔I’ve got some milk of magnesia today and that’s meant to help. Will update either way.

I just want to feel normal again.

@FiddleLeaf Glad to hear your update. My first few days were fine, cramping etc started day 4. Everyone is different, but if concerned contact your medical caregiver. Sending you support. 💐

@Sunbird24 Just wondering how you are doing? 💖

@Charlotte390 - Absolutely try and rest where you can, though I know it's hard when resting involves being still with the thoughts of it all.

@FiddleLeaf - Sorry to hear your uncomfortable. Hopefully things improve quite dramatically from here. How are you doing now?

Thanks @Olivia199 & @Mumtobabyhavoc. The milk of magnesia has helped I think but still not feeling myself 😞 At least I can work from home for a few days & have no reason to leave the house. I wish I could take the week off but after ivf and the mmc, I’ve been off quite a bit & life goes on.

Thank you, I’m doing ok - got promoted at work so moved halfway across the country. It’s now about a year since my final failed embryo transfer and I’m at peace with the knowledge that I’m not going to be a mum. I do keep an eye on the thread and it’s lovely to see you all still supporting each other, even though we all know it would be better if nobody ever needed it ❤️‍🩹

Sunbird, it's really just a day at a time, isn't it? I'm happy to hear the good news in your professional life. 💖

@FiddleLeaf sorry to hear you’re not feeling great. That’s good you can work from home for a few days. Make sure you look after yourself - yes life goes on but don’t feel pressure to rush back to normal life if you’re not feeling up to it just yet x
@Sunbird24 How lovely to hear from you and congrats on the promotion and house move! Lots to keep you busy x

@Sunbird24 oh and thank you for this thread despite going through your own difficulties / rollercoaster of emotions. It really has helped many of us to feel less alone x

Definitely thank you to @Sunbird24 didn't realise how much I would ever need this thread.

@FiddleLeaf sorry to hear you're still feeling the physical effects. I started with splitting headaches yesterday which I think may be related.

I went into work this morning and it was so much harder than I'd anticipated, I'm on a phased return and able to take each day as it comes so will see how it goes.

@FiddleLeaf - So sorry you're still feeling it but glad you can work from home at least. Though likely the last thing you want to do. It's so hard with the amount of time IVF takes up, both physically but emotionally too. Constantly waiting on phonecalls and scans and the knowledge that at any scan they'll tell you to trigger and you'll need two days off. It's exhausting and doesn't leave much in reserve for managing something like this.

100%! You totally get it. I’m grateful we have four embryos in the freezer so hoping one will work out without going through egg retrieval again which was taxing physically and mentally with all those calls & appts. We have our next ivf appt tomorrow (online) just to discuss next steps.

On a positive note I’m feeling a lot better today. If anyone reading it suffering with going to the loo issues post MMC then I recommend milk of magnesia. I read it on another forum & after 24 hrs the pain is less frequent & sharp. Thank god!

Thanks for the well wishes ladies. Being in this position truly sucks but I’m so grateful we have this space to share.

@FiddleLeaf - Amazing news about your embryos in the freezer. I have the same amount. The stims and egg collection side if it is beyond taxing so it's comforting knowing that this bit is done. I've had two FETs now and found the entire process a lot kinder and a lot more relaxed.
I hope the appointment goes well. Apparently I was discussed at the MDT meeting and they decided if I go again then they'll change me from lutigest to cyclogest. Part of me was pleased to hear they'd had the discussion. The other part of me feels a bit sick because what if that could have helped.

So glad to hear you're feeling better, that's amazing news.

I’m not sure if this helps @Olivia199, but I was on cyclogest. For my case it’s likely there was an abnormality so it wouldn’t have made any difference but I had zero side effects from cyclogest and it was easy to insert. I’ll happily go back on it next time.

@FiddleLeaf - Thank you, that does help. I had my DD with the lutigest so I guess it threw me to hear they'd change it and immediately assumed that was what caused the issue. Though I know likely, sadly, there was just something wrong. Funnily enough I wished I had cyclogest as it's less frequent and has different ways to use. Lutigest always had to be vaginally which, when you're on it 12 weeks, gets a bit sore (and tedious!)

@FiddleLeaf - Just need to win the lottery now so I can actually give it all a go!

So after my confirmed MMC on 8th August (after private scan 29th July suspecting this) and medical management in hospital on 11th August, I had confirmed today there is still a small amount of retained tissue, so have more medical management on Thursday, then to take another pregnancy test on 28th September. It feels so cruel for this to be taking at least 2 months. How can anyone properly move on and get closure with things seeming to never end?!? 😔