Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 7. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Apologies, I didn’t realise the last thread had filled up.

Some links to online resources that may be useful to anyone currently or recently going through this awful experience:

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
www.tommys.org/
miss-support.org.uk/support/
blr.lifecharity.org.uk/
petalscharity.org/
www.miscarriageformen.com/

You are not alone - please post whatever you need, or just read if you aren’t ready to talk. I’ve had 5 MCs, and am now sadly at the end of my IVF journey, but want to keep this thread going for everyone else who might find it helpful.

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4559567-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-6-all-welcome?page=1

Thank you @moosey89. In a bizarre way I’m grateful to find out as it happened. I feel for those women who have to manage the shock at 12wks.

Oh @EdithGrantham, the waits are so hard & feel endless. I’m also finding it tricky to manage work and general life so hopefully we can both move forward this week

@FiddleLeaf I feel the same - it's why I'll always have early scans even though I'm not IVF (yet) and I know it's only a snapshot. I don't want to wait until 12 weeks then get bad news I could have had/processed weeks earlier.

@Olivia199 That's such a shock. I as same - everything looked good and no concerns whatsoever. Until it happened and so was dumbfounded. I was also ivf and had testing done to find out cause of loss and that helped.
Please know this was beyond your control. 💐
I also have a toddler and forcing myself to get out almost every day for walks, park etc helped. There's no magic wand though. It was just processing, grieving and time. And good food. Cake was frequently involved. 💖

@Khanga27 After my surgery I was fine for about 3 days. Then pretty bad cramping and bleeding for a week. Then bleeding for about 2-3 weeks longer. If i remember correctly (February).

@FiddleLeaf thinking about you.

Question for the group:
I felt quite unwell prior to my loss. Rapid nausea and sweating. So concerning I took myself to hospital to get checked. Didn't end up staying for consult, but labs were fine.
I think this was an early sign baby has passed.
A week later I was spotting and loss was found. Did anyone else have any weird symptoms prior to loss? My loss likely happened a day or two after my last scan which was perfectly fine, just too early to detect any issues. My memory is a bit fuzzy (suspect due to trauma) but loss was around 8wks, discovered around 10.

@Mumtobabyhavoc thanks for reply. I rang ward I was on and was asked to come in for swabs. They think its an infection and are giving me antibiotics. I feel really really distressed in case this makes me infertile or something. I'm just so worried about everything at the moment

@Khanga27 it's good you're getting medication. The anxiety is completely understandable. You are going through something very traumatic.

Hello again, all done - phew! I’m bleeding a ‘medium’ amount and hoping to be sent home soon.

I felt pretty grim as I came round but feel fine now & just want to be in my own bed… and cuddle my dog.

I’m very happy with my decision to go for surgical over the other options. I’m a control freak so the certainty has helped me deal with it mentally.

Big love to you all xxx

That's good to hear @FiddleLeaf, hope you make a speedy recovery. I've started with cramps and bleeding again this evening, going to ring the EPAU in a mo to see if I can get surgery rescheduled because otherwise I feel like I'm going to be on an endless loop of ultrasound/surgery booking.

@Olivia199 so sorry you’re also in this boat ☹️ It must be a rollercoaster for you thinking everything was coming together perfectly only to get a shock that it hadn’t worked out. Life feels quite cruel at times.
@Roxystar23 Im ok thanks for asking although I’ve had a bad day today - everything has just been on replay in my head and I had a bit of a cry this evening. I’m really desperate for my period to come, then I feel like I can start to focus on trying again next month.
totally get what you mean about POAS, you spend ages hoping to see a second line and feel elated when it appears and now you’re hoping not to see that second line ☹️ I tested twice, one quite soon after my MC as I wanted to know how strong it would still be. Silly me! Seeing a dark second line but knowing the baby had passed was just crap. I then did one at just under two weeks and it was so faint - a real squinter. I haven’t done another as I imagine it will be completely negative and like you, I think I’ll find it a bit triggering. That said, I was relieved when I did the second test as it felt like the physical was finally over and my body / hormones were trying to get back to normal so I’ll be in a position to try again. I also find myself randomly touching my tummy - does anyone else find themselves doing that!?

@Khanga27 oh how horrid for you. It’s understandable to feel anxious and let your mind wander down all sorts of rabbit holes but the fact they’re giving you medication now is good and they can nip it in the bud early is positive
@FiddleLeaf Hope you’re curled up in bed with your dog - nothing better than dog cuddles ❤️ I’ve had surgical in the past and like you, I found having control over the situation made me feel better.

@EdithGrantham Oh I really feel for you. The waiting is horrendous, especially when you’re suffering symptoms. I would definitely pester your EPU - being in limbo makes the whole situation 10 times worse. Good luck, fingers crossed x

Agreed, it’s an emergency unit too so it doesn’t always need to be pre booked. I had an emergency move in front of me yesterday.

Update on my surgical - I was finally discharged at half 8 (after 10 hours!). It would have been sooner had it not been for low blood pressure & the nurses changing shift. I had cramps through the night and a small amount of spotting when weeing. Still in bed with my dog and a cuppa. Today is 100% resting.

@EdithGrantham - I think we are both in for follow up scans tomorrow (though mine will be to confirm lack of heart beat). I'll be thinking of you and hope all goes well.

@Fiddleleaf - glad to hear the surgery went well and that you've got the day to rest with puppy. Hope you're doing okay and thinking of you.

@Olivia199 - Oh no, sorry you're still suffering from sickness. But glad that you are getting to nibble on some good stuff! :)

@CrazyMILonthecase - I hope you're having a better day today. I know exactly how you feel - I'm anxious for my first post MC period - just so I know my body has sorted itself out and I have cycles and dates to focus on. It's this bit of limbo land in between now that is making things harder to try and look forward. I need something to focus on. You're not alone with the belly touching. I've only just stopped feeling the phantom flutters - which is silly because it was too soon to be able to feel movement from the baby. I think it was just my body moving things around perhaps. It was quite a nice feeling though. I'm just eagerly awaiting the day that I can update my period tracking apps. I'm annoyed/upset that it wipes all the previous data when I reported pregnancy/MC.

Will be thinking of you @EdithGrantham & @Olivia199 when you go for your scans. x

@Olivia199 good luck for tomorrow x

@CrazyMILonthecase and @FiddleLeaf I rang and she's put me on the schedule for surgery for tomorrow after the ultrasound.

@Roxystar23 thank you. Glad to hear you are heading towards the next step.

Thanks ladies. Good to know you've been booked straight in @EdithGrantham.

I'd love to try again but realistically I don't think I can. The treatment is so expensive and I've already used my best frosties. I can't bare the thought of saving for months and months and bringing me and my DD to the edge only to put us through this again. Hopefully in the future I'll try when I feel a bit stronger about it all (or win the lottery) but for now I think I'm just going to cherish the wonderful daughter I have.

Copied and pasted from the thread I created before finding this one: Went in for a scan yesterday and there was just the sac left. Had to wait around a lot whilst they decided what to do, daytime surgeon examined me and wanted to wait to see if it passed naturally as was low down nearly past my cervix. When the shift swapped over the night time surgeon just said ok let's get you in. So it was a very long, emotional, hungry day in the end but hopefully the physical part is all over with now. Feeling very fragile today.

@Olivia199 sorry to hear you've got extra barriers to trying again, that must be really tough. Definitely pour all your love into your DD xx

@EdithGrantham - I'm sorry it was such a drawn out miserable day but I'm glad it's over with for you. I hope you've got lots of support and some cosy PJs to relax in.

I'm just sat on the ward waiting to go to theatre. Think I may be last on the list.

Hope you get called down soon @Olivia199, the waiting around is horrible!

Thank you @EdithGrantham - I'm last on the list so waiting a while yet I should think. The nausea is ramping up now as I've not eaten since last night but also not taken my lunchtime antisickness! May have to cave and ask for them soon. Though of course, there is nothing to throw up. Hope you're home and resting?

Hi all and I hope you're doing as well as you can be, and sorry for the difficult times you're facing.

I had a MMC medically managed 3 weeks ago today in hospital. I had my bleeding following medical miscarriage stop last Tuesday so around 10 days ago. I was in hospital this Tuesday for swabs for a suspected infection and was told that my cervix had closed which was a good sign (it was thrush and not infection it turns out).

I did a pregnancy test this morning which is 3 weeks after the medical miscarriage and I got a fairly faint positive line, so rang EPAU and have a scan booked for Tuesday. The sac came out whole when I was in hospital 3 weeks ago and wasn't developed enough for a placenta so I am hopeful that I don't have retained tissue and perhaps I just had lots of hormone to start with in my system before the medically managed miscarriage?!

I have also just in the last half an hour had bleeding start up again, very similarly to how my periods start... could this be a new period this soon, or is it more likely a continuation 10 days after stopping?

Hi all. I sadly suffered a miscarriage at 19 weeks two days ago, my first pregnancy. I had been having a small amount of brown spotting last weekend and so got checked after being told by numerous people including 111 that it was common and not to worry, so got checked out at the hospital, where they confirmed there was no heartbeat. I then went into labour the following night and had a very traumatic time in a&e. The placenta wasn't coming out so had to be removed, then I lost a lot of blood and fainted and woke up to 10 people in the room and an emergency alarm going off. It's all been so unbearable, but I'm now home and feeling physically fine at least. The worst part is that we don't know why it happened, and will have to wait up to 6 months for the post mortem results (which was a difficult enough decision in itself, along with naming our lovely little boy), and I don't want to start trying again until we know the cause. The grief is coming and going in waves and we're taking our days very slowly, and my partner has been so incredible even though I know he's also dealing with it all. It's brought us closer together which is a positive, and we're trying to focus on how much we've learned from our little one in the short time he had with us. It's just so heartbreaking to wipe away all of our hopes for the coming months and years, and I can't stop worrying about possible future pregnancies.

Sorry, this has ended up as a huge ramble but I'm hoping it will help process everything a little! Lots of love to you all xx

Oh, no @Charlotte390 I am so sorry. That's so devastating. My loss was much earlier in first trimester, but I did have the testing done to find out cause and it helped me to process it. A good friend also had a loss at 5 months and also had the testing and she was glad to have those results, too.
I can't say anything to take away your grief, but please know I'm so sorry and sending you support and a hand hold. 💐

@Olivia199, yeah finally got home at half 1 this morning so have had a very chilled day today just slobbing about at home. Hope your surgery goes/went ok.

@Khanga27 that's frustrating that the test has shown a positive, hopefully like you say it's just that you had lots of hormones previously. No idea about the bleeding I'm afraid, hope you get some answers from the EPAU

@Charlotte390 so sorry for your loss and that you had what sounds like a particularly traumatic time of it. Hopefully you get some answers sooner than 6 months, sending love