Journey after miscarriage support thread Jan 2023

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I wondered if anyone out there would be interested in joining a thread for those who have recently experienced a miscarriage - a place to share how we’re feeling emotionally, physical recovery, becoming ready to try again (for those that want to), and hopefully one day positive stories of successful preganancies.

I’m 32 and recently had a miscarriage at 5-6 weeks of my first pregnancy. I was relieved to have conceived after quite a short time, because I have PCOS and was worried I might struggle to get pregnant.

My miscarriage was about 2 and half weeks ago now, and today is the first day I’ve not had any spotting/bleeding at all, and that has been a relief to feel like my body is moving on from it. I know it’s advisable to do a pregnancy test a few weeks after miscarriage, which is something I’m a bit anxious about doing as I’m fairly sure it will be an emotional thing to do.

Since it happened my sleep pattern and energy levels have been a bit all over the place. Some days I’ve just wanted to sleep all the time, which I think could be a mix of actual physical tiredness and also emotional tiredness/hormonal changes. I was back at work for the first time today, and it was helpful to have something else to focus on and motivate myself for.

I’ve restarted tracking my BBT to see what happens with my cycle returning, though I’m aware it could take a while to get back to normal. My husband and I are both on the same page that we’d like to try again once I’ve had one normal period, so I guess we’ll just see how things go and how we feel when we reach this point.

Sorry this has turned into a longer post than I expected! Anyway, if there’s anyone out there who’s had a similar experience recently and would like a place to share feelings/questions/advice it would be lovely to hear from others.

@VillageFete that is super awesome news omg I’m so chuffed for you I can imagine how scared you are also I’ve got everything crossed for you as well as smg1992.
I have a question if u don’t mind answering so I have tonsillitis ( bacterial) she gave me pregnancy safe antibiotics. Do I take the antibiotics or try and keep off them I’m worried if I dont take Them
there will be too much inflammation in my body for my body to accept pregnancy if I do take them could it affect ovulation and I’ll defo get thrush I always do ( am due to ovulate Wednesday ) xxx just don’t know what to do for the best xxx

@Chocolatebean Please take them. I had the same dilemma when I had Strep A. I ignored it for a while as I didn't want it to affect O but then I got very sick and decided I really just needed to get something to make me better. As it turns out getting very ill delayed O by two weeks anyway 🙄

So yes, in short, do take them so your body can recover.

@TheBirdintheCave thank you so much I’ve just taken the 1st dose. Honestly covid last month and strep a this month I need a break 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Thank you, that’s really kind.

Unfortunately I’ve had another miscarriage. Devastated doesn’t really cover it. Assuming we’ll never have a child now which I know is illogical.

@Chocolatebean No worries :) I hope you feel better soon.

@Bobshhh I'm so sorry :(

@Bobshhh thinking of you 💕

I always think the way you do! It's completely natural.

I've had a few blood tests now to check whether it's anything underlying! Clotting profile, anti phospholipids and lupus, I don't know whether your doctor would do them after 2, but could be something you look into privately! My miscarriage referral was rejected as she wants more bloods done and I have one for thyroid and follicles booked in (if you want the exact name I can grab you it)

Also I don't know about anyone else but I think the next time I fall pregnant I'll 100% be taking small dose aspirin! Is this something others are doing? Xx

@Bobshhh im so sorry it’s just absolutely devastating xxx

oh well looks like strep A has delayed my ovulation I always get my OPK peak in day 15/16 today is day 15 and not even a glimmer of my LH this morning it was 0.7 😬, still got the egg white cm still got a flashing smiley have had that 3 days but Lh has dropped if anything. Have started my antibiotics. I’m just so gutted as my scan showed lovely follicles and I had such a good feeling it just shows doesn’t it now just hoping I don’t get thrush. I could cry but just haven’t get the energy. Got accupuncture today ( oh and severe runs from the antibiotics) hope I don’t get it during accupuncture imagine running to the loo with needles in my feet 🤦‍♀️

So sorry @Bobshhh, it really is devastating but we have to remain positive somehow. It WILL happen for us all! Xx

@Chocolatebean I used to have really bad recurring tonsillitis in my late twenties and after 3 courses of antibiotics not working, I researched myself and found apple cider vinegar (with “the mother” in) to be amazing. I gargled it throughout the day for 3 days straight and it was gone! I buy the Braggs one. I then also found the A. Vogel - Echinacea and Sage throat spray which is also amazing. Since using these two combined and at any sign of a sore throat, I haven’t needed antibiotics for the last 10 years now for a sore throat.

Not sure it works for everyone but it saved me from taking numerous courses of antibiotics!

xx

Ooh thanks @Vt86 can I use just any cider vinegar or does it have to be a special one I’m going to the shop after accupuncture so can pick some up xxx it defo feels a bit better antibiotics doing their job I just always get thrush 🤦‍♀️

@Chocolatebean it has to have “the mother” in as that contains the probiotics. Generally best to buy organic apple cider vinegar with the mother in, I find Braggs is the best brand though if you can get that. I also can’t tell you how good the spray is as well and often use that straight away as it’s more palatable! Although it does take your breath away a bit when it hits the back of your throat! Xx

I should also add that you should dilute the ACV with water when you gargle!

@Bobshhh I'm so sorry to hear about your mc. Give yourself time to process and heal and things will start to look brighter as you look to the future.

@Chocolatebean strep A sounds rough, not what you need on top of everything else. I hope you still manage to have a healthy ovulation this month even if it is a bit delayed.

I'm STILL waiting for my 2nd lot of bloods from Friday! Going a little bit mad and am thinking the worst. Even if this is another MC with hcg of 12 I'm not even going to be ovulating this month so don't know when I can start to think of things looking up for me. Trying to be positive, luckily work has become a bit manic so something to take my mind off of the whole thing (hopefully without increasing my stress levels too much).

@SMG1992 i just can’t believe the results aren’t in yet it must be horrific it can’t be much longer surely bless you. I truly feel for you, work being busy is probably the best thing for you at the minute get that time passing xxx
@Vt86 phew Tesco had some aspalls with the mother in so I have some 😁

Just called surgery again, they are now saying the results aren't likely to be in until Thursday/Friday :(

@SMG1992 omg how is that possible that absolutely sucks how can it take that long you didn’t wait that long for the first one did you xxx

@Chocolatebean no I had the first one results on the Friday so that took 48 hours.
this one will be 5 days tomorrow and could be even longer. I don’t have any symptoms so I don’t think I am still pregnant but I really want to know!

@SMG1992 when I had to wait the 2 weeks for my Mmc and then an extra week I just decided it was over in my head and if by some chance it turned out ok then it was a bonus that was the only way I could cope with it. And just kept as busy as I possibly could it’s so awful
though I truly truly feel for you xxx

I am numb, I found out on my 3rd scan on Monday that there was no heartbeat. Just 2 weeks ago everything was great. Measuring good and was a heartbeat. I have gone through yet another silent miscarriage. This is my 3rd miscarriage in 8 months. The depression has kicked in badly and I just want to be completely alone. I am tired of hearing “so sorry” I know people are being nice and what else can you say to me but I hate it. I have given up on life. My body had let me downs I have let my husband down. I just feel I have nothing going for me. I am a full time mum that can’t even do that right. When I am pregnant I feel I have a purpose. I have no purpose. I have a son who I love so unbelievably much and if I am honest that is what’s keeping me going. Please someone tell me there is a silver lining as all I see is dark clouds. I have been referred to get further tests but that will be 3 months at least. I am due to get surgical management yet again. I am sorry if this is overwhelming for anyone to hear as that was not my intention but I am in the dark and I just want to speak to anyone that’s listening. I have been prescribed antidepressants so I am hoping that will help. Please tell me ways you cope day to day as I am willing to try anything. Thank you for taking the time to listen.

@SEAx I can't imagine your pain :( I'm only on two MMCs (in eight months) but, as with you, focussing on my little boy really helped.

I also planned and booked an entire holiday in my two weeks off work post surgery 😂

Having 2 miscarriages is devastating. I just thought the 3rd time round it was different. After the 2nd I bought a puppy (I had been desperate for years for one and I think my husband finally caved just with everything going on) this time round I am like you I have been looking at short breaks away next week just to take my mind off everything. It helped last time as we had to drive 5 hours to pick the dog up and just being in a different environment really helped me.
I am like so many of you I just wanted a small age gap between my kids. I am sick of hearing are you having another or oh you better hurry up and have another.
It kills me everytime I go to soft play and the siblings are all playing together and they won’t let my little one play, I just wish he had a sibling to play with.

My friend just had a baby on the due date of my first misscarriage baby, I have never told anyone that. The next due date is next month for the second. I thought 2023 would be a better year for my as 2022 was just horrific but already off to a horrible start. Does anyone ever feel embarrassed that it happens to them, sorry to say it but I do feel it each time I have to tell my family my body couldn’t care for yet another baby.

@SEAx i am really sorry to hear how you are feeling and know you are in so much pain
you just need to hold onto the hope that things will get better and focus on the future.
hopefully when you are referred for further tests this will help give some kind of reason why this is happening and will help look for a way that you will be able to have a healthy happy pregnancy
Right now just take your time and don’t shut away your emotions x

@SEAx also yes I totally understand the embarrassment. I think it comes down to the shame that we feel, I know it’s not right but can’t help it deep down.
try and be kind to yourself x

@SEAx I hope you can take some fine out for yourself not just to grieve your baby but also the life you had planned for them and for yourselves.

We had 2 miscarriages within 2 months just before Christmas and it's been rough but I think there are some brighter days ahead now.

We had our appointment in a private recurrent miscarriage clinic today.
I came out feeling so reassured and like a weight had been lifted. We have male factor fertility so I was quite concerned they would focus on that but actually they were really positive and said that because we have been conceiving that's less of a worry than the miscarriages.

He scanned me and said 'oh you have a thin film of fluid in your uterus. Sometimes it can be a sign of a period or an early pregnancy' I'm 10dpo today so fingers crossed for pregnancy but I'm prepared for a period which is fine.

We have a plan of bloods to be done and then another appointment where if all of those are normal he's likely to prescribe letrozole to promote stronger ovulation (since I'm already ovulating) .
We also have a plan that if I conceive in the meantime to call the clinic for a progesterone prescription.

I'm happy we have a plan and that I feel listened to and reassured. If I could recommend it to anyone and if you can afford it (consultation and scan today was £170) I would 100% recommend!

@SMG1992 @TheBirdintheCave @s14a thank you for taking the time to read and reply to my message. I have to admit it has been such a relief to say how I feel. I am a very closed book with friends and family. I hate showing emotion and I hate being consoled but there is something heartwarming to me to speak to people I have never met but going through the exact same thing so I thank you for sharing your stories. @s14a I have my fingers crossed for you!
I spoke to several clinics who all agreed I need to wait 3 months after surgical management before I can be seen. That will be the longest wait but I suppose a relief that I won’t be trying to conceive for the next 3 months, spending money I don’t have on pregnancy tests and the 2 week wait consuming me.

@s14a Wow that was cheap! Who was that with? I'm glad you've left feeling like there's a plan in place :)

No one has ever offered me clomid or letrozole. No idea why 🤷🏻‍♀️