Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 6. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

If you’re going through this, you’re not alone. I’ll post some links to support organisations shortly, but feel free to post, or just read, whatever you need.

@Brokenpancreas94 so so so.sorry to hear about your loss! I'm nearly 3 weeks post op and I'm starting to see the light. If you look back on my previous posts you'd see i didn't believe anyone when they said it would get better! Hang in there I promise it does!❤️ I'm sorry your bf isn't being supportive, maybe he's hurting too and doesn't know how to? You know what men are like they have to be tough to keep up the right image don't they! Maybe sit him down and explain how your feeling and how you need to support eachother. What I've learned is that you need to support one another as its both your loss. We are all here for you, every single one of us. Anytime, take good care of yourself and it's okay to grieve and feel sad! Even though I'm in a better place now then what I was, I still cry and still feel broken its more like now getting used to the pain. We al know how you feel and we are all behind you ❤️❤️❤️

@candycrush789 thank you. I think maybe I’ve lost that glimmer of hope now, since this bleeding (well can I even call it bleeding) has started, it’s so weird, well maybe it’s not because I don’t know what to expect. It’s just extremely light and it’s brown but my sanitary pad is clear, it’s only when I wipe so far. I just want it to be over with already so that I can try and focus on mentally getting better. I read some of your previous posts and saw that you have depression, I do too. Before falling pregnant I was on Lofepramine which I stopped once I found out that I was pregnant, I was on nothing for a couple of weeks until my GP put me onto sertraline, which is what I was on in my first pregnancy and was fine. However, in this pregnancy I maybe took the sertraline twice, and I’m struggling now, but it won’t help me, it won’t cure this hurt and numb feeling, because I just want my baby 😢. ❤️❤️

@Brokenpancreas94 @B1993 I totally understand that numb horrible feeling. It's been three weeks now since my miscarriage and similar to @candycrush789 I am starting to see the light and although the sadness is still there it feels easier to process. Hope this is some comfort. We are all here for you xx

Thank you everyone for all of the support! I know some of you are having much much difficult experiences given that I'm only around 3-4 weeks pregnant, so I appreciate everyone's kindness and support.

can I ask a really personal question to those of you that also had early miscarriages? Did your bleeding stop after the initial red blood/spotting and then start up again days after?

I have woken up this morning with no blood in my liner and no spotting when I wipe!! I'm in shock as as soon as I saw the red blood, my mind instantly went to the first case scenario. I'm not sure what to think anymore!! I'm wondering if it's normal for the bleeding to completely stop before starting up again?! With my last m/c as soon as I saw the red blood, it only got worse/heavier from that point.

@tulipsunday thank you ❤️ I still only have the brown 'bleeding' when I wipe, so think I will call EPU tomorrow to speed things up.

@B1993 could it maybe be implantation bleeding? I have no idea. Fingers are crossed for you! Xx

@Brokenpancreas94 hopefully now the bleedings started the tablets will move it along quickly!xxx

@B1993 that does seem weird, you’d assume with a mc it would only get heavier xx

@Brokenpancreas94 I'm not sure? Everything I read said implantation is only ever pink or brown and red blood (no matter how small) is considered a bleed and not spotting.

The red blood only happened once though, after going to the loo. The times after that, were all pink, again, only when wiping. The pink spotting lasted 3-4 hours. Since then, I haven't seen any.

@B1993 it's horrible not knowing what is going on aswell isn't it. My friend had loads of bleeding in early pregnancy and she was also told to expect a miscarriage, however she ended up having a baby boy. I know not everyone is the same but maybe? With this MC I feel like the red blood should have happened by now too but I'm just continuously spotting 😢 which isn't helping with my false hope as well. Xx

@ChloeN yes, I hope so xx

@ChloeN I really thought that was going to happen - I put a liner in fully expecting to wake up this morning with more blood but there wasn't any! Not even the pink spotting when wiping at all today.

The NHS says on their miscarriage page '[Miscarriage] can vary from light spotting or brownish discharge to heavy bleeding and bright-red blood or clots. The bleeding may come and go over several days.' So I'm still thinking tgeees a good chance that's what's happening and it's just going to be another long, drawn out process! 😩😭

@Brokenpancreas94 I know how you feel! I had brown spotting for a good week before the bleeding progressed. At that point I was so optimistic. Even when the bleeding started, I kept telling myself 'maybe there's still a chance' even though I knew in my heart what was happening. I found it so difficult to accept.

It's emotional torture and I think the longer it takes, the harder it can be. I can remember thinking I just wish it would hurry up and end. And waiting for the tests to turn negative was also devastating.

Hope you've got someone at home taking good care of you 💜

@B1993 it’s hard to know what’s going on as it’s so early, I really feel for you!

@B1993 I think that's the hardest too, not being able to accept it, I think because I didn't look at the screen either that I haven't seen it for myself so then I'm thinking that they got it wrong, but I know deep down that they probably haven't.

I think I will call tomorrow for the medication, would they scan me again before giving me them or does it depend on hospital?

Partner is being okayish, he has depression and anxiety, mainly issues with health anxiety and atm he currently thinks something terrible is happening to him, which is so hard but I feel like I've no sympathy because it's like it's taking away the focus on our baby, does that make sense? I know that sounds awful 😞. He has been told by medical professionals that all his symptoms are anxiety and he's had tests too but that hasn't helped him. Xx

Hope you get some answers soon, and hopefully it's good news for you 🤞🏻xx

Thank you again ladies! I think the best thing to do is just wait and see. Although I've got backache now, which was the only type of 'pain' I had with my last loss.

@Brokenpancreas94, There's no harm in asking for a rescan. I'm sure they wouldn't say no? If they did though, it might help reading through the sonographer's report for some closure?

It makes perfect sense! I know it's hard but try to focus on your needs and emotions rather than your partners.

Sending lots of virtual hugs your way. Good luck for tomorrow 💜

I managed to miscarry at home this morning, which was good as meant the mifepristone got things moving along. I had really light spotting for about 40ish hours first, before all the pregnancy tissue came away & I was able to bring it in for testing. Sorry if tmi. The weird thing was I felt at a huge loss when I handed the tissue over, like it was mine. That felt pretty odd!

Now it is just like a heavy period, just ache around my pelvis. The cramps before were very mild. Gynae doctor, then consultant gave me an internal scan, said they could send me home or I could stay and have the misoprostol to get rid of more clots and to just make sure everything has gone / to speed things along, so went for that as just want to know everything can reset quickly. I just hate the idea of retained parts, mainly the hormones not resetting. I should be able to leave later in the afternoon. It is odd with the bleeding, but I really need it for closure. I think it is from so many cycles trying and the TWW, then with earlier losses. I always knew the pregnancies had failed & weren't viable between HCG or scans this time, so knew what to expect. I am really thankful for that and that my losses are always about 5-7 weeks.

I am ok, but not really facing what has happened, just partly determined to move on. I will make a GP appointment & get a line just to cover me, more for the future too when we try again. I am pretty pissed off and mixed feelings really. It makes me feel really sad, but then I also want to move forward and not mope about. Sometimes it is really overwhelming & then I shut that down because what is the point? And it is not just this loss, it is all of them. This one just adds to the weight of them all.

I honestly feel now that I have to have these losses to have healthy pregnancies and this is just the normal way for me, which is s**t but just the way things are. If I think like that it counters the sense of shame about my age, weight, subfertility, that I caught COVID at week 7 and all the inadequacies or reasons I can come up with to blame myself with.

Trying to conceive and losing makes me really good at failing and it makes me determined and resilient to try harder next time. Especially when I think about my daughters, what we went through to get them, how important they are and how lucky we are. One of the nurses asked how old my daughter was and then said she had a 12 year gap and was pregnant at 40, which made me feel better. It really helps with good hospital staff who are naturally empathetic.

@Brokenpancreas94 I've pmd you xx

@candycrush789 I've replied :) xx

@B1993 I will ask for a rescan when I call, providing I haven't passed by then. I'm forgetting that there will be a report, probably in my maternity notes? Thank you again <3

Misoprostol scares me, my Mum had it when I was younger, and although the risk is very rare. She ended up having a stroke at 33 which killed her a year after this, she was otherwise a very healthy person - now I don't know if it was the Misoprostol that actually contributed to this but a few years back I went on a hunt for answers and found the link between the two. It just scares me and I used to be under the idea that I too would die when I reached 33. I am 28 now, with Type 1 Diabetes and a bit overweight! However, I know that's not how life works and it just terrifies me! I have taken Misoprostol a few years back but that was for a termination as at the time we were in no place for a baby, I regret it everyday of my life massively, but it was best for my health as my Diabetes was alot worse than it is now. xx

Has anyone had increased urination during Miscarriage or feeling like you need to see but don't? don't know if it's my blood sugars or my body still thinks I'm pregnant.

Slightly heavier bleeding has just started it's still not red though but I've had two very small clots.

@Brokenpancreas94 seems like your body is taking a while to get started but at least something is happening! Are you phoning the hospital today? Xx

@ChloeN I was going to, but now I've had two clots today I don't know what to do. Xxx

@Brokenpancreas94 you could ring and tell them
whats been happening and ask what they think? At least you could ask about the dating too xx

@ChloeN yes, that's a good idea. I'll do that shortly. Thank you 😊 xx
I feel terrible our new neighbours have just arrived this morning and they have a newborn, I feel even more sad as bad as that sounds xxx

@Brokenpancreas94 hope you are ok and get some advice from the hospital. Yes sadly I found that too that babies/pregnancy announcements do trigger sad feeling when you are going through a miscarriage. Am still getting that to some extent now even though a few weeks has passed take care xx

@Brokenpancreas94 let me know how you get on xx
i think that’s normal, it’s the knowing that should of been you! I feel that way about pregnancy announcements all the time xx

@tulipsunday @ChloeN yes, ever since finding out that there is no heartbeat all I am seeing is baby announcements everywhere, my cousin is pregnant too, I was 2 weeks behind her 😢xxx