Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 6. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

If you’re going through this, you’re not alone. I’ll post some links to support organisations shortly, but feel free to post, or just read, whatever you need.

@tulipsunday I feel you. I had tea earlier which made me sad as I had gone off it in my pregnancy. I'm just emotionally drained I hurt physically and emotionally and I'm worried it won't ever go away 😔😔

@candycrush789 the emotional pain won't always be this bad, I know it feels all consuming at the moment but it will get easier with time. In my experience, the physical pain shouldn't last too long after surgery. It's bound to be sore for a few days so try to take it easy and give your body a chance to recover.

@candycrush789 I am glad you know what I mean. It is the little things isn't it which makes you remember what has happened and is hard. How are you doing? I hope today is a better day for you.

@tulipsunday hi was an okish day until the evening then I crashed and broke down. I feel empty and have no decided I need to be pregnant. Getting pregnant seems like the only thing to fill this emptiness I'm feeling. But I'm so scared I couldn't go through this again m, what are the chances?

I was wondering this too. Looks like odds are in your favour to have a successful pregnancy after a miscarriage. Especially as you have had two successful pregnancies already. Can totally understand the concern of it happening again though. I am worried too. Hope today is going ok.

@tulipsunday thank you. Was okay I suppose had a bit if a melt down earlier and phoned husband at work in hysterics because something reminded me of being pregnant. I want to be pregnant again ASAP but I'm so worried. And I mean it, if someone else says to me, life goes on you have to move on. I might just flip my lid.

I'm not ready to move on yet, I don't want to forget my baby. Go away 🙄 tomorrow would be a week when we found out our baby had no heartbeat and so much has happened since then💔💔

Good afternoon,
I have just found this thread after abit of afternoon googling for... answers ? Understanding?
I have just had a missed miscarriage at 21+1 but baby was measuring 15 weeks. I went into hospital with a show type mucus loss and they could not detect a heartbeat, which was then confirmed on a scan. I opted to stay in and baby was delivered on Wednesday at 12.45. Ive just come home and am in that odd stage of baby is still on the delivery ward until post mortem and i think someone ia calling soon about funeral arrangements. I cant describe how i feel, im just doing all the practical things like thinking what will go with baby qs i dont want to forget or miss anything.

@BasKaro im so sorry to read your news, that’s heartbreaking at such a late stage. Hopefully the post-mortem will provide you with some answers though we know that won’t ease the pain.

@BasKaro I am so incredibly sorry to read this. Sending you lots of support. I hope you get some answers soon.

@BasKaro oh my god I am so so sorry for your devastating loss 😭💔 I'm praying you get the strength you need to get through this! Honestly no words I can give you or say Will make you feel better and I know myself nothing anyone says will make it any better. I hope you get answers although it won't stop the pain. Me, the ladies on this thread and the whole of mumsnet are behind you and are with you throughout the whole thing! Please take care of yourself and cry when you need to and remember your feelings are valid. Sending you all the strength in the world xxxxx

@BasKaro I'm so incredibly sorry for your devastating loss. We're here and we're happy to listen anytime you need to rant or just share how you're feeling.

Thanks all. I'm just going through the motions at the moment, looking forward to some peace tomorrow while the kids are at school and nursery but also scared that the silence will be worse. Just planning what things to put with baby

I've hit rock bottom today and I seriously want this pain to end. I can't see no way how I'd ever feel better and I can't see a way out of this miserable pit I'm in right now. I've started to neglect my body and deprive it of the stuff it needs. I've stopped taking my antibiotics and I couldn't care less if I get an infection or not. I just want this to end and I'm really struggling with not being pregnant with my april baby. I never ever imagined it to be this hard but it is. It's so hard everyday and I just want it all to end. The amount of people telling me to be strong for my 2 children. Yes I know this but don't make it any easier at all, the pain isn't less just cos I've got 2 other children. Please tell me when and if it gets easier because I'm not sure how much longer I can go on feeling like this

@candycrush789 we are all here for you. Sorry you are such a bad day. I think we have to trust and believe the posters on here who have been through it and say that time helps and things will feel more manageable.

I find the comments from people in real life challenging too - I think people just don't know what to say and don't know what helps/doesn't help unless they have been through it. I have been asked if I had been overdoing it 😬 nearly exploded at them!

Tommy's and Miscarriage association helplines are open from tomorrow and Samaritans any time. Have you got any friend or family member to talk to who may be helpful? Keep posting on her too x

@tulipsunday ny family are useless they haven't been here at all. My husband is being amazing but he's too busy worrying about me then he is himself so I'm worried he might break down soon. I've emailed samaritans. Thing is we're talking about trying again after my 1st period so why doesn't it feel better? I believe in reincarnation and I believe my babies soul will be reincarnated into our new babies. However I am so scared of not being able to fall pregnant again, or for this to happen again. It's taken away my innocence of pregnancy and I really wish life wasn't so cruel. I'm dreading the 21st as it would be when I was supposed to have my 12 week scan 😔😔

Yes once this happens it does ruin the innocence of pregnancy =baby doesn't it. I feel similarly worried. Getting pregnant with my son took some time and then I was nervous throughout as didn't have many symptoms but all was well. This time got pregnant quickly and felt much more pregnant so didn't worry and then this happened. So don't think much will reassure me next time but have to be hopeful that a positive pregnancy will happen. Glad your husband is supportive.

I’m really sorry people are struggling, remember it’s all still really raw for you and your hormones are all over the place. It does get better, I promise.

@candycrush789 if you want to try again after your next period you need your body to be as healthy as possible, so maybe use that as your incentive to eat properly and look after yourself if you’re struggling. If you look near the start of the thread there are some links to websites, one of them is specifically aimed at men, might be worth pointing your DH towards? Remind him that you’re there for each other and he can’t support you properly unless he deals with his own feelings. You’ve got both him and us, but who else does he have?

@Sunbird24 his family have been amazing. His mum has been a saviour honestly we've had our differences but she's been amazing throughout.

I'm so worried of it happening again, the whole pregnancy I felt pregnant. Sore boobs, morning sickness, nausea, always exhausted. So it was a shock. Symptoms don't mean anything but it's wierd. I was never happy throughout, I took about 30 tests and still wasn't satisfied. Even before I got pregnant I said to dh, if the worst was to happen could we try again. Then when I got pregnant, I just had a bad feeling. Its like sixth sense and like i knew what was coming although I tried to put it to the back of my mind. Its wierd how your instincts try to tell you something isn't it 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

That is interesting you had that feeling @candycrush789 hope things are feeling a bit better today.

@tulipsunday meh 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ feel rubbish still and now bickering with oh as I want to try again, he's not so sure and doesn't know if he wants to. But I feel like I need the emptiness filled, I need to fill the void 😞

Yeh I get that feeling. Was thinking would wait for period to come before trying again but now just want to be pregnant again 😬 just trying to work out if there is any more risk if get pregnant straight away rather than if wait. This is probably wishful thinking though as have a mixed TTC track record. Then as you say have to get OH on board too..

@tulipsunday we started to TTC immediately after mc and didn’t wait for my first period, it made me feel better to at least try! I don’t think I ended up ovulating that cycle anyway but I don’t think there is any more risk to try straight away!

@tulipsunday I know I'm not sure if it worth a wait, just to give my body a chance to regulate again 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ I'm not sure if I could go through a mc again...

@ChloeN did you end up falling pregnant after? I'm sooo worried I will mc again 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

@candycrush789 I’ve only had 1 period since the mc so am currently CD15 of the next cycle, I’m hopeful I’ll get pregnant but like you very scared it’ll happen again!

@ChloeN I fell pregnant 1st Time with my 2 dc and this pregnant so I think it would happen quite fast but I think I'd be soooooo anxious throughout the pregnancy, whilst I think that's the only thing that will heal me, I'm so worried x