Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 6. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

If you’re going through this, you’re not alone. I’ll post some links to support organisations shortly, but feel free to post, or just read, whatever you need.

@B1993 The bleeding lasted about 8 days for me this time. I was 6+4. My period arrived about 4 weeks after the mc so my hcg must have dropped quite quickly.

@ChloeN and @Marmite83 That's helpful - thank you!

I had another quite large piece of tissue when I woke up this morning so hoping that the bleeding will start to slow down now. 🤞🏻 I must stop testing as I got another clear line today so it looks like the hCG is going to linger for a bit. I read that before 5 weeks (I was 4+6) it tends to go within a couple of days but it doesn't look like that's the case for me.

@B1993 I was the exact same, I tested a week after passing the tissue and got such a clear positive I was absolutely gutted! But it seemed to fade really quickly after that! I started getting ovulation signs back with the faintest line still on an early test xx

@ChloeN That’s really useful to know! I tracked my bbt before to confirm ovulation so I think I’m going to start again with that. We would like to start trying again right away as who knows how long it’ll take to get pregnant again!

I think one of the things I’m finding hardest to come to terms with is the age gap between my eldest and future baby. My son was born in July ‘19 and this baby would have been due April ‘23 - I wanted them to be a bit closer honestly, but was quite happy when I found out. Now I’m starting to overthink the age gap and the possibility they they might be more than 4 years apart or born within a month of each other. It’s the realisation that my ‘perfect’ scenario is out of the window. I know I shouldn’t be concerned about all of that but I’m genuinely finding it difficult to shift my mindset into thinking all those things are irrelevant and that it won’t matter in reality.

I don’t know if anyone has ever had the same thoughts/feelings and has any advice about how to accept that and move forward? Or does it just take a bit of time?

@B1993 I was desperate to have a smaller age gap between my two. We were aiming for two years and ended up with a four year gap. Honestly, I'm so glad we have a larger gap now. My eldest was independent enough to entertain herself (with a little assistance here and there of course) and go to the toilet etc so I could feed the baby without worrying too much that she was bored or feeling neglected. Also, she started school a couple of months after the baby was born so I got to have plenty of quality time with the baby during the day without my eldest getting jealous. I was worried that they wouldn't get on because of the age gap but I couldn't have been more wrong. They're so close and now the youngest is two they are starting to role play together and play tag. They adore each other.

I really do understand how you're feeling. I was so stressed and upset every month that we were unsuccessful, the gap got bigger. In the end it turned out to be great.

Hang in there x

@Marmite83 That's really postive! Thanks for sharing 💜 It sounds like your two are great friends! Gives me hope that a slightly bigger gap might work out for the better in the end 🤞🏻💙

Also, I meant to say, being born within a month of each other worked out well for us. Their birthdays are 20 days apart and this year we did a joint party. One bouncy castle, one hall etc 😂

Hello. I found out today I had a missed miscarriage. Pregnancy ended at 8wks 2 and found out today at what would have been 9wks 2. Now just home and waiting for it to happen. So sorry to others in this crappy boat be nice to support each other 😞❤️

@tulipsunday I know how you’re feeling😔 I had a mmc at the end of July and it was the most heartbreaking thing and I thought I’d never get over it! 4 weeks later I’m on my period again and feeling much better, hoping everything goes back to normal now!
Sending you lots of love xxx

@tulipsunday Sorry for your loss 😞 I was supposed to be due in April too. Unfortunately my journey ended last week. 💔I can't offer any words of wisdom and know it doesn't make it easier for you, but you're not alone in this.

💐 for you @tulipsunday hope you can take a bit of time to recover physically and emotionally

Thank you @Sunbird24 @B1993 @ChloeN it is nice to know am not alone. Husband and family are v supportive but nice to speak to others who have experienced it.

Would anybody mind sharing experience of natural management? Apparently the sac is low down so she thinks I will pass it soon. I was hoping for surgical but doesn't look like will be an option until next week unless there is a cancellation. Just a bit scared of how I am going to cope 😞

@tulipsunday Are you worried about the pain and passing the baby?
I had medical management and was so worried about both things, but honestly neither were too bad! I was able to manage at home fine, I know it’s not the case for everyone but I was panicking as had heard so many horror stories!

Yes worried about the pain and amount of blood and length of process with natural management as have read some pretty horrible sounding experiences. Had decided to do surgical because of this but no availability currently at my hospital until next week so guess just need to see. Thanks for your reply 😊

@tulipsunday I'm sorry for your loss. I have experienced all three options. I found medical management the worst. Natural was the least painful for me. It's not particularly nice seeing what comes out and there was a fair amount of blood but I just made sure I went to the loo very regularly to keep on top of it. Have some ibuprofen ready in case the cramps are strong and just rest up as much as you can.

Thank you @Marmite83 sorry to hear what you have been through ❤️ really helpful to hear about experiences of the different options. Feeling a bit calmer now.

@tulipsunday you’ll be ok, we’ll help you through if you want us. Surgery has ended up being my ‘favourite’ option if you can have such a thing

Thank you @Sunbird24 useful to hear. Thankfully got some sleep last night so least better prepared for anything that happens today. Hope everyone ok x

Hi here's my story.
Got a positive test on 24th July after 1st cycle of trying was over the moon. Booked a early scan when I should of been 6+3, but was pushed back to 5+5. Got told the pregnancy could go either way and to go back in 2 weeks. 2 weeks come around and I had another scan and there was my baby heart beating away and healthy, Got told my pregnancy was viable and they'd be seeing me in 8 months time for delivery. I was experiencing stronger pregnancy symptoms, morning sickness really geared up and I didn't have 1 day where I didn't feel sick or pregnant. With my 12 week scan coming up wasn't sure if dh would be able to make it due to work commitments so we booked another scan for yesterday when I should of been 9 weeks. Wasn't nervous at all as I had felt sooooo pregnant I was even sick in the clinic loos before the scan! It was my turn and she put it on my belly and I knew, it took a while to find it and when she did it wasn't the size it should be I could tell. My baby was upside down and all scrunched up, she sent dh out with kids and as soon as the door shut came the 'I'm so sorry'. Hit me like a ton of bricks was not expecting it at all. She has sent pictures to dh email but not strong enough to look at them. I plan to call epu today as soon as it opens but I've had no pain or bleeding and my baby died 2 weeks ago so I'm hoping they offer me surgical management, as u still feel so pregnsnt which isn't helping.

If you've got this far thank you, this is by far the worst thing I have ever been through and not sure if I will be able to come back from this. I'm.sorry ladies for all your losses 😔💔

@candycrush789 Well done for posting in here, I hope it helps in some small way to know we’ve all been through it

I’ve sadly had 5 missed miscarriages now, and surgery is by far my preferred option too. You will get through this, we know how hard it is, but it will get better with time and support. Just be kind to yourself.

@Sunbird24 I feel bad posting as others have had more than me or worse you know. I'm scared my epu will make me wait, its torture feeling pregnant when technically I'm not anymore 😔

5? Blimey you are superwoman how on earth do you do it? I've got 2 children already, had 2 healthy textbook pregnancies and then this pregnancy. It's wierd I always knew from the start it felt different to my previous pregnancies, and I was never satisfied always had to take tests. Still doesn't ease the pain. I don't know if I'll ever be ok again. 😔

You will be ok - you won’t be the same but you will be ok. There’s no competition or judgment here, grief is grief, and it’s intense and awful, but your heart grows round it in time. This is probably the worst part, where you’re in that limbo of still feeling absolutely pregnant but knowing it’s not going to have the outcome you’d expected.

My EPU had me booked in for surgery 2 weeks after my scan with them for two of mine, but I started to bleed a day or two before both times so the plan had to change. The next time they go me booked in only a week later which avoided that problem. They will talk you through the risks of surgery which sound really scary but are very rare, there are a few ladies in here who’ve had it and may share their experience.

@candycrush789 I'm sorry you're going through this. Please don't feel bad for posting, we all have or own situations, it doesn't make anyone's grief any more valid than anyone else's. I hope being on this thread will help you through in some small way. I've had three mc in total, first two were mmc. I've had medical management and surgery and was lucky that I was given the option straightaway. Had medical management the same day with my first. Second time I found out on a Friday and had surgery on the Monday. I definitely preferred surgery but you should do whatever feels right for you.

@candycrush789 how are you doing today?

Hope you are ok @candycrush789 I know it feels so overwhelming and horrible doesn't it. Thank you to the posters on this thread for the support the past week. My miscarriage is now complete and the healing can hopefully start. Hope I can repay the kindness and help others going through it.