Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 5. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4190003-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-4-ALL-welcome

@pastatriangles misoprostol didn’t work for me this time round, but my body is stupid anyway. All I got was some cramps and uncontrollable shivering about 2hrs after my first dose (lasted about 40 mins) and nothing at all after the second. Surgery is generally my go-to option now. However, it totally did the job for my first many years ago, and wasn’t particularly painful, so who knows? Some people need to go through the physical experience to feel like they get ‘closure’ on the pregnancy, others are better with it all being taken care of while they’re asleep, take your time in deciding what’s right for you.

@ElleBelleLou so sorry for your loss sadly there’s no instruction manual for the emotional side, and we all have to kind of find our own way through, but you are absolutely not alone on your journey. If you search my posts I’ve shared some links to online resources like the Miscarriage Association and Tommy’s, and we’re always here too.

@Sunbird24 Thanks, ah I'm sorry it didn't work this time, that sounds rough :( I also had a D&C for another loss, but this time I'm so early I wanted to see if I could avoid it...but agree, I love how 'quick and painless' it is for want of a better phrase.

I've decided to wait until this weekend and if still no progress I will try the misoprostol.

Hope everything is ok with you x

Hi everyone. My story is fairly long and traumatic, but the short version is I miscarried in a&e in the early hours of Saturday morning about 5 hours into waiting for someone to see me. I knew there was no heartbeat the week before. I should be 12 weeks now. I’m going back to work tomorrow after having 2 weeks off and I am nervous. My workplace have been great with telling me to take all the time I need, but as a teacher and head of year I’m worrying about my exam classes and students who need me to be there. I’m working through everything very slowly, but it’s a relief that this space exists. Tomorrow there will undoubtedly be lots of questions from colleagues and students about why I’ve been away for so long and I’m not sure how I will respond to that.

Hope everyone is okay. Just needed somewhere to get my thoughts out.

@AprilShowers92 I hope there won’t be as many questions as you expect, what an awful experience for you. It’s good that work are understanding as that does help a lot, even though people being kind can sometimes be the thing that sets us off. If it helps to write out the long version then please do, there have been quite a few sagas in here along the way, and this thread is here to be used however you need.

@AprilShowers92 I hope your return to work wasn't too bad and you have some supportive colleagues.

I'm not having a good day today. I worked yesterday and actually felt ok, I took my daughter to nursery this morning and one of her teachers told me that she said yesterday that she was going to be a Sister. She didn't know I was pregnant, she's 2.5. I cried the whole way home and I can't stop crying since, I feel so devastated that I've let her down and I might not give her a sibling. Especially as I've taken her away from her extended family and cousins and all of my close friends' children.

I didn't expect to be this up and down emotionally, so much that an innocent comment could make me feel this awful.

And I'm sorry, I'm sure hearing about me already having a child is hard for some of you.

Just thought I’d give everyone an update. I posted in this group after my mmc in nov. So I’m 5 months post mmc. I had quite a rough time it took 5 weeks for me to get back to work but when I did I was ready to get back to some normality. The build up to Christmas was rough but in the end was enjoyable (think it was because DP decided to take a late trip abroad so I could get myself together lol).

Then caught covid just before he came back which meant another 7 days of not seeing one another or hearing him moan at how cold it was here.

Then it all got very eventful after that. DS dad got DS to tell me he was expecting. Long story short didn’t agree with them telling him before the 12 week scan because of what happened to me and that they told him without just even giving me a heads up first (he didn’t know about my mmc and would have told him at that point so he could understand why I wouldn’t have wanted DS to know straight away).

Emotionally that was the first close pregnancy announcement after the Mmc, so it did hurt and opened a lot of emotions back up which I thought id dealt with. But didn’t take long to recover.

So then I start planning for my birthday and summer (usual concerts and festivals ect) and feel Ill. 6 days before periods due so for shits and giggles decided to take a test (thought it would be negative and that id got a bug) but nope the faintest BFP!

That was the here we go again moment, queue clear blue digital tests to check hgc levels, and waiting till you know your over the point of last time before you speak to epu (didn’t want to be back and forth there like last time if it was bad news).

So had a scan last week and took DP with me this time. Dp had to walk out the scan when they announced it was identical twins apparently his life flashed before his eyes and all sorts. But they both have heartbeats and are in the right place.

So moral of the update, recovery is as long as you need. There is no time frame for it and it does get better.

I can't believe I have found myself back on this thread. After a 7 week miscarriage late December, I found out yesterday at a private scan that instead of being 9+3, the heartbeat stopped at 7+2.

The last time I had a natural miscarriage at home, and couldn't get an appointment at the EPU until after the event, so there was nothing to see on the scan. This time, my body isn't doing anything. I had a very small bleed on Thursday, which prepared me for bad news, but since then, nothing. I am so sad and so scared. Still have all of my pregnancy symptoms.
I just want the physical side of things over with as quick as possible. I have an appointment with EPU tomorrow, is it likely that I could get medication from this appointment? I am supposed to be going abroad next week, and am so determined to go. TTC and miscarriage has taken so much from me for too long, I need this for my mental health.
The last time was painful but manageable, I don't know if it being later will make a difference this time- it looked like a proper little baby on the scan :(
Thank you all for your input on these threads, it really does make you feel like you are not alone.

@theblueflowers I had medical management with mine, confirmed on the Monday that it was a mmc in the day after for medical management. This was due to the cervix being closed.

Are they already aware of the situation with regards to the private scan? Mine was over 2 days because I had to have a scan, internal and then sign the paperwork so I could go in the day after.

I totally feel for you x

@theblueflowers I’m so sorry to see you back again. Hopefully the EPU will give you the misoprostol tomorrow, or like @Comz get you back in next day - there doesn’t seem any sensible reason why they’d need to make you wait. The consultant was able to just give me 2 doses to take home and do on my own when it was just some product they’d missed after my surgery, but it may be better for you to be in the hospital with medical care available if you need it.
Sending you a handhold, it’s so unfair.

@Comz sorry, missed your previous post, congratulations! It’s lovely to see somebody get a positive outcome after a loss

Hi again everyone, finally my body caught up today naturally. Such a relief. Hopefully it 'counts' as normal AF...last time I had an anovulatory cycle after but maybe each time is different. Hope everyone is ok x

Thank you @Sunbird24 and @Comz, I have opted for the medical management, and now have the pills to take tomorrow morning, really hoping it works! It was such a relief that something could be done there and then.
Already feeling better now that I have a plan and things are in motion- for me it really is the unknown that is the worst. I've got codeine and a supportive DH to get me through tomorrow. I've done it before and can get through it.
I cannot fault the care that I have had. I was with the doctor for almost an hour today and she was just brilliant at answering all of my questions and worries. I think my biggest concern is trying again and not changing anything- it just feels like it would be inevitable that it would go wrong again.

That’s good to hear @theblueflowers, just feeling like you have some control over something at the moment probably really helps! Have your hot water bottle ready as well, and keep the patient information leaflet for the drugs somewhere handy just in case you get any weird side effects. Fingers crossed it all goes as well as it can tomorrow.

🙋‍♀️ Can I join? I have just come home from work as I have started bleeding. I have been trying to get pregnant for 2 years and it finally happened last month. Last week at exactly 6 weeks all of my symptoms suddenly stopped, I went from feeling nauseous and tired with painful boobs to just... nothing. I panicked and did another pregnancy test that came back really faint. I emailed my doctor who referred me for an immediate scan (I am in NZ) but they said that it was too early to see anything apart from the gestation sack and that I was to go back in a week for another scan.
My doctor had said that if nothing happens naturally I can get referred to the EPU but it's a 8 hour round trip. I really didn't handle the news very well and barely left my bed for 2 days as I couldn't stop crying, I guess my hormone levels were going a little nuts.
Over the last few days I allowed myself to get a little hopeful again, maybe the symptoms stopping didn't mean anything and that a heartbeat would be there at the next scan. I was expecting this bleeding to start but it's also knocked me for six. I have hunkered down in bed with lots of pain killers ready and a hot water bottle, hoping it won't be as bad as I imagine 😔
Sorry this was so long... Thanks for listening and sorry we all find ourselves in this horrible club.

I’m so sorry @onelostsoulswimminginafishbowl we’re all here for you

Hi everyone I hope it’s ok for me to join. I had an MVA last Tuesday at what should’ve been 9 weeks, but baby stopped growing at 6+5. It was my first pregnancy and I have been so upset and crying a lot. Some moments I feel okay and then it hits like a wave of physical pain. My family and husband have been amazing and all rallied round me. I just never expected this to be so painful

Hi @Annapolis35 so sorry you are joining the gang Glad you have good support around you

I've just lost my little boy at 16 weeks. Thought on Wednesday that something was wrong after cramping and then a bit of bleeding when wiping. No heartbeat was found at antenatal triage overnight and it was confirmed Thursday morning. Induction process started immediately and Zac Henry was born at 21:08 Friday evening. I'm in absolute shock still.

Hopefully we'll find out why and have our rainbow baby in time but I don't want a rainbow baby, I want him.

Hi everyone hope you don’t mind me joining sadly miscarrying my 2nd pregnancy have one DD. I was referred to early pregnancy unit Thursday as had started bleeding. Abdominal ultrasound was done and midwife said she needed to do a transvaginal as I had a titled uterus and instead of measuring at 8+5 weeks like I should have I was measuring around 6 weeks. Transvaginal ultrasound showed measurements of 5+5 so coupled with the bleeding she said I was miscarrying and expect bleeding to worsen in next day or so. Had heavy bleeding with cramps and clots Thursday+Friday and just light bleeding since with cramps coming and going. Was that likely it or only the start? Just don’t know what to expect. Have scan on Thursday

Sorry for everyone’s losses

@MrsC2018 I’m so sorry for the loss of your precious boy, what a lovely name you chose for him. Are the hospital doing tests to see if they can find a cause? On some of my earlier posts there are links to organisations that can help you with some counselling, when you’re ready.

@Overandabove1 so sorry for your loss too, hopefully the heavy bleeding you’ve had was the worst of it but the scan will show if it has been complete or not. Fingers crossed for you.

I hope you both have support in real life, but this thread is always here when you need a vent, sometimes writing it all down somewhere you know there are others who’ve been through the same pain can help. Be kind to yourselves, with the grieving process can come a period of guilt/blaming yourself, but please know that there is nothing you did that caused it, or that you could have done to stop it. It’s just unfair.

@Sunbird24 thank you. I'll have a look at your posts for the information.
Yes, we're having the post-mortem on Zac and have sent off the cord swabs and bloods for me to see if they can find a cause but I'm not hopeful. We've also gone under the bereavement midwife for the postnatal checks which I'm grateful for. Little things like being offered the tablet to dry my milk up before it comes in makes a difference which a health professional otherwise might not think of. We've received lots of kindness from the hospital too, they've made me a memory box which has little things in for me when I'm ready. I know they've put his name tags in there.
Baby loss is baby loss and we grieve what might have been regardless of how long we've had them 💐

@Sunbird24 I can see that you're an IVF warrior too. I'm just so sorry.
This little boy was a surprise natural conception, but his big sister was our 5th and last round of IVF. The pain of losing a pregnancy when you know there won't be another without significant intervention is quite something and there truly aren't many that will understand your journey. I truly hope you find your peace 💐

Thank you @MrsC2018, it may sound a bit twee, but I do get some peace from keeping this thread going so that other women living through the heartache know that they aren’t alone, and there’s a whole sisterhood out here. My heart does hurt every time there’s someone new posting though, because that’s another little light gone out too soon.
I hope if you’ve conceived naturally once then it can happen again 🌈

Need some advice. Had a MMC the week before Christmas. Currently 7weeks 4 days with our rainbow. Today there's been blood when I wipe. However very hit and miss. No pain nothing on a sanitary towel. Epu will be scanning me in the morning but I'm terrified. Does anyone know if it seems likely to be a miscarriage again or if it's likely to be something else?