Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 5. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4190003-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-4-ALL-welcome

They’ve always told me to call the ERPC again if it’s not negative after 3 weeks, is it getting fainter at all?

@Sunbird24

They’ve always told me to call the ERPC again if it’s not negative after 3 weeks, is it getting fainter at all?

@Sunbird24 When you say "they always told me to call...", who is they?

When my MC started I called and made a GP appt but they then forgot and I had to argue for a referral to EPU, who then said they'd be in touch to book me in.

I'm still waiting, more than 2 weeks later.

So I was basically ignored/dropped/overlooked/forgotten and have received zero support or guidance.

So....who should I call? Who should I try this time?

Or should I just test again in a week and hope for the best? I'm so confused.

Sorry that was unhelpfully worded, ‘they’ for me have been the nurses in the EPU - mine is self-referral, you phone up and leave a voicemail and someone calls you back. The NHS guidance also says test after 3 weeks, but other websites say it can take 1-9 weeks, depending how far along you’d got, so don’t panic.
I would give it another week, though I know it completely sucks and you just want it back to normal as soon as possible. If it’s still positive at that point, you need the EPU to do another scan.

Ahhh ok. Can't self-refer to EPU in my area. Have to go through GP, that's assuming they remember the actual appt.

I guess I'll just hope for the best then and test again in a week.

Thank you @Sunbird24

@Cegbee I am exact same as you, nearly feel more symptoms since we were told there was an empty sac.... typical... what a shit week for it to happen to. We are the same we hadn't told anyone we were pregnant so relying on this to vent.... did you have to get a second scan and pick which method you will go?

@Margo34 I'm so sorry. I think you definitely want a negative test before ttc again and I would want to have a scan to confirm everything has cleared out. It might not be for you, but I called MSI choices who can provide medical management assistance over the phone (the pills, not surgical) and they actually also offered me a scan. I was eligible for free treatment (nhs funded) and it was pretty efficient - they just sent me the pills through the post. I then thought mine had passed naturally but there was still residual tissue at my scan last week which still hasn't passed (even though I now have a negative pregnancy test), so I might end up using the medication after all just to try to shift the last bit.

@Lemonbell It is rotten at the best of times, let alone today. I had a similar experience with epu saying I had to come back even though it was pretty clear what was happening. I know they probably have to do it but it feels pretty cruel. Hope you have managed to stay away from social media today and sending lots of hugs.

Thanks @99pctpractice, I've not heard of MSI Choices before so I'll check it out.

@BabyGally22, I don't think we're going to get a second scan because the embryo was measuring over 6 weeks so should've had a heartbeat even if my dates were 2 weeks out (they weren't). I was given the choice of waiting for 'natural' m/c, medical and surgical management- and with the procedure I was given a few options- no sedation, sedation or general anaesthetic and I went for the first as i could have it done the soonest. I should also say I'm British but I don't live in the UK. So sorry for your loss x

Hi @Margo34 I'm not sure if you've got anywhere but just thought I'd share my experience! I was still testing positive at 5 weeks post mc. I was told by nurses to ring if test showed positive at 3 weeks. As I'd had on/off spotting until a few days earlier, the nurse said to give it one more week and then do another test. It was still positive so I had to go in for a scan, which was all clear. The sonographer said the lining of my uterus was a little thick but it would likely pass with my next period. The doctor was happy with this scan and sent me home telling me to wait for my period to come, which it did at 6 weeks. I did a test at 7 weeks just to see and it was negative. It seems that sometimes it just takes time. It's important to have a scan though I think to confirm the pregnancy passed completely. Our hospital doesn't have an early pregnancy unit so it's the gynaecological assessment unit that we go through with anything early pregnancy/miscarriage related. Take care

Hi can I join?

First time ttc since DC2 was born. Could tell it was bfp very soon as is typical for me, but lost all symptoms and gradually was only left with cramping. Test today bfn :( just waiting for it to start. Feeling quite sensitive while having to play with and take care of a toddler this morning, chat to parents on the school run etc.

for everyone x

Come on in @pastatriangles 💐 Having just been Mothers Day as well probably makes us all a bit more sensitive.

@Lemonbell it’s not unusual to just want it over with when you already know there’s no hope, I’m the same.

@Cegbee when is your appointment? I hope it’s as pain-free a procedure as it can be for you.

I did think of you all on Sunday, took my mum out for dinner and someone asked me if I was a mum too as they were doing a special for mothers, and I had to say no. If any of the first 3 MCs hadn’t happened I’d have been celebrating my first Mother’s Day, or if the most recent had stuck I’d have been 5 months along. Didn’t really help that my mum said something later in the day about me leaving it too late (like I’m not already painfully acutely aware of that!) Just got to keep chasing that rainbow and being kind to ourselves. Plant a flower, light a candle, wish on a star…

@Sunbird24 my appointment is now actually- just waiting for the medication to soften my cervix and then will have the procedure in an hour or 2. Everyone has been very lovely, I do find it harder to keep it together when people are nice to me though!

Sorry that your Mum said that to you, it's really hurtful even if they don't mean it. My Mum said she hoped the stress of work didn't cause it when I told her about my MMC. Then started going on about everyone she knows that has had a baby as old as me. I honestly wish I hadn't told her I was pregnant now.

Sending love to everyone that needs it today. Being a woman is so tough xxx

@Cegbee do check in when you’re able so we know you’re ok. I think you’re so brave doing it without sedation, I’ve gone for general anaesthetic every time!

It’s been one week since my miscarriage, and I’m not coping too well. I was 12 weeks and 5 days and it was only the day before that we had our 12 week scan and there were no concerns raised at all, she was moving about and had a strong heartbeat. We’d also had an NIPT which was all fine and let us know we were having a girl. I don’t know how to move on from this, I can’t stop crying and I feel so angry at myself and the world. We had lost hope that we could have a baby, and it was such a happy shock, we’d been trying for 2 years.

I’d had bleeding from 4 weeks, everyday up until the day it happened. I’d been scanned at the EPU a few times because of it and every time we saw a heartbeat and she’d been growing as expected and so I’d stopped worrying about the bleeding, they just said some women bleed their whole pregnancies and no one knows why.

I’m so angry that I have no answers to what happened, angry that those who know about my miscarriage just keep telling me that it’s really common - but it’s not at that stage. I’m angry that the NHS don’t seem to care if you’ve had just 1 miscarriage, that you have to go through this pain several times over before they will investigate.

I was so desperate to become a mum and I’ve just lost all hope and I can’t stop replaying the miscarriage over and over in my head.

@HarryPotterGeek84 I’m so sorry. There’s nothing we can say that will take the pain away, but everyone here understands it.

[quote Sunbird24]@HarryPotterGeek84 I’m so sorry. There’s nothing we can say that will take the pain away, but everyone here understands it.[/quote]
I’m glad I found this thread, I’d been avoiding Mumsnet this last week. It was nice reading about the renewed sense of hope that you have all had and to know what I’m feeling is normal, despite all those around me making me feel like I just need to get over it now.

@HarryPotterGeek84 I'm so sorry you've had so many weeks of stress and for what's happened now. I don't know why people insist on saying it's common- like that somehow makes it better, it just makes you feel shit and like you say, pressured to just get over it.

@Sunbird24 thank you, it all went fine and the staff were lovely. I felt v sad afterwards but also some relief, I had to wait a week between my scan and having it done but I can't fault the process today. Some cramps this afternoon/evening but not too bad.

@HarryPotterGeek84 I'm so sorry, it's such a hard experience to go through especially if you feel like you don't have any answers. I really hope that they will do some more investigations for you so that you never have to go through this experience again. Sending lots of hugs

Ps also just to say that you're absolutely right to say it isn't common at that stage, especially if the NIPT was all clear. Between 10-12 weeks of pregnancy your placenta takes over from the corpus luteum and I have a friend who kept miscarrying at that stage because that transfer wasn't taking place properly. I'm not sure if that is something that's worth looking into for you, but just thought I'd mention it because I think she needed to take specific medication to manage it.

@99pctpractice

Ps also just to say that you're absolutely right to say it isn't common at that stage, especially if the NIPT was all clear. Between 10-12 weeks of pregnancy your placenta takes over from the corpus luteum and I have a friend who kept miscarrying at that stage because that transfer wasn't taking place properly. I'm not sure if that is something that's worth looking into for you, but just thought I'd mention it because I think she needed to take specific medication to manage it.

Thank you - definitely something worth exploring. We’ve decided to see if we can get any answers privately as doctor confirmed today that there’s nothing that the NHS offer unless you’ve had 3 miscarriages.

[quote Cegbee]@HarryPotterGeek84 I'm so sorry you've had so many weeks of stress and for what's happened now. I don't know why people insist on saying it's common- like that somehow makes it better, it just makes you feel shit and like you say, pressured to just get over it.

@Sunbird24 thank you, it all went fine and the staff were lovely. I felt v sad afterwards but also some relief, I had to wait a week between my scan and having it done but I can't fault the process today. Some cramps this afternoon/evening but not too bad. [/quote]
Sorry true, even had my GP say it to me today, 1 in 4 pregnancies etc etc and it really angers me, as by that stage after seeing a heartbeat it’s more like 0.6%!

Really sorry for what you’re going through too, it’s so awful xx

Saw this little poem and thought of you all.

Thank you Sunbird that is a lovely poem, and thanks for this thread 💖

I'm still not making any progress other than bfn so I've been given the option of misoprostol. I like the idea of getting it over with, but after reading online stories and seeing how painful it seems to be and that the majority of cases require further intervention, I'm really scared to try it.

💕 to everyone x

Hi everyone,

I hope it's okay to join. I sadly miscarried my first pregnancy, miscarriage started on 10th March. Had an appointment at the EPU yesterday because my tests were getting stronger. Today's test is finally starting to fade, but I don't know how to handle the emotional side of it all never mind knowing how to get to know my body and my cycle again.

I'm glad I've found this thread, mumsnet has been such a huge support x