Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 5. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4190003-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-4-ALL-welcome

The consultant I saw on Thursday agreed that there’s actual physical trauma involved in going through ivf and all it entails, even without the miscarriages, which is why I’ll always go for general anaesthetic rather than local when I need surgical help with a miscarriage. I’m ok with the internal ultrasounds, but anything pointy and I’m right back to the moment I came round during my egg collection… 😢

How are you doing today @99pctpractice? All set for a carb-heavy weekend? Our tv signal is gone and I don’t know how long it’ll be out for as it’s a contract company responsible for it. Good job the internet is still working!

Oh @Sunbird24 I totally agree there is so much physical trauma involved in ivf. The whole process is tough on your body, let alone before you add in all the emotional rollercoastering! I can't believe you came round in an egg collection - wow, that must have been really traumatising, completely understandable that you would want a general for any miscarriage management after that.

Yes, all set for a very relaxed weekend - I have acupuncture scheduled for tomorrow evening which I'm hoping will help the process. it's my husband's birthday on Monday, so I'm hoping to feel more normal by then so we can celebrate a bit. Glad to hear you still have the internet if your tv signal is down - that would be the last thing you need if you're isolating!!!

How was the acupuncture @99pctpractice, did it make a difference?

Hope anyone else who sees this is doing ok, I know some people do read but don’t post.

@Sunbird24 thanks for your message. This is a strangely reassuring board even if a depressing reason for all of us to be on it. I found it very helpful when trying to understand my options during a miscarriage. I wish everyone the best who is reading and/or participating on the board. I am also going to try acupuncture this week for the first time. Let’s see how it goes. For anyone reading who is going through something similar and thinking of a natural miscarriage. This is how my early miscarriage is working through - I know everyone is different. I first bled on 18th Feb when at 6 weeks of pregnancy. I had an extremely heavy bleed with lower abdomen pain, gushing blood, massive tissues and clots passing through. Was shocking when it happened and felt dizzy and about to faint after a night of bleeding. The bleeding may have been worse as was on blood thinners for my ivf. Thinking I must have cleared the miscarriage I went into a 6 to 7 week ivf viability scan. I still had the sac visible on screen albeit no fetal pole or heartbeat. I decided to give it a week or so to see if the miscarriage completes. I came off the progesterone support I was on. I had another massive bleed on 2 March just like the first but with more abdomen pain and the feeling of a need to strain. I didn’t see any visible sac etc. The tracking of HCG from the scan onwards saw a drop from 2500, 1500 to 500. I did bleed on and off all the way through these weeks from spotting to clots. On 8 March I had a scan with the EPAU and they said there were no visible signs of pregnancy remaining which was a relief: My HCG was 33 IU/l last week. Since then my pregnancy test is still positive but I am hoping it comes down to zero soon (it’s making me nervous why it isn’t happening quicker) so I can get to a period and my next (and last) Frozen Embryo Transfer. It’s been emotionally a difficult time with ups and downs and a feeling of panic about a childless future and that the next FET is my last opportunity (I turn 42 later this year and my husband won’t support any more ivf rounds). I have also been reliving the miscarriage in dreams which is very off putting. I am hoping it all settles. I hope you are all getting through your miscarriage and healing well after the experience.

Hi @Sunbird24 - I loved the acupuncture because it really helps me zone out and I sleep so well afterwards but I have no idea if it makes any difference....it has helped my periods become more consistent before, so hopefully it'll help clear everything out of my uterus....I'm getting a scan next week at the clinic to see if there's anything left so they can then assess when I can do my next round of ivf. How are you feeling about your erpc? Good luck for tomorrow, I hope that it goes as smoothly as it can do, all fingers crossed for you.

@Sarahk20000 so sorry to hear about your experience. It's both physically and emotionally challenging and made worse when you feel the clock is against you. I really hope this FET is the one for you!! I have the same feeling of time and opportunities slipping away, I think this will likely be our last round of ivf because it's just so hard to keep putting ourselves through it and it's so expensive when there's no certainty of a positive outcome . Even though the miscarriage was utterly miserable, I do now feel we have moved a step forward in actually getting pregnant, so fingers crossed my ovaries are still capable of producing at least one good egg...!!

Hi @Sarahk20000 thank you for sharing your experience I will be crossing everything for your next transfer too, and that your HCG is back down very soon so that you aren’t waiting too long for it.

Today went ok, they did a hysteroscopy while I was under so they could see what they were going for, and they took out quite a few bits then did a gentle scrape but had to stop because I was bleeding more than they liked. Hopefully enough gone that anything left will just be reabsorbed. Told them in advance I feel really cold when coming round, and I do remember at one point in recovery the nurse wrapping a heated blanket round my head as my in-ear temp was low, but no idea how I made it up to 4 blankets over the rest of me! 😂
Doing fine now, but taking 2 days off work.

@Sunbird24 good idea to take a few days off. Look after yourself and rest properly. You need and deserve it right now.

Hello Ladies I hope you are all okay. I also hope this is ok to share. If you agree please do sign. Thank you all x
actions.tommys.org/a/miscarriage-petition?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=paid_social&utm_campaign=miscarriage-lancet-donations&fbclid=PAAaY4ZCq24_w3u_qNBwB5fhkWB3qo2w1KkO-KxOkqLKTTs3ln3St1bqXmlXs&external_browser_redirect=true

@Sunbird24 glad to hear it went ok - that sounds pretty intense though. Hope you're feeling ok now and glad you have a couple of days off to recuperate. I really hope they figure out what is the issue for you, and the steroids help for your next transfer...

I thought it was all over, but the bleeding is back today so I guess not! I have at least stopped feeling pregnant but I have gained 2 kg in a week through misery eating, so definitely need to sort out an approach to being sad that doesn't involve any more cake!! Off to yoga tomorrow morning to hopefully start to work some of it off!!

@mrsmb03 no problems with sharing that, it’s nearly at its 250k, hopefully it gets somewhere!

I came back to work today, been taking codeine but still having some cramps. This is kind of like my first period since October, I’ve decided I definitely prefer not having them. How is everyone else?

Hello all, sorry to read your stories of loss. 💐

I'm a week today since natural miscarriage fully started (I think I was in optimistic denial when spotting began 3 days before that). I guess I should feel grateful that medical intervention hasn't been necessary but at the same time, I keep having horrible flashbacks of THE night last week and the things I can't un-see. This is my 2nd experience of natural MC but my first wasn't so distinguishable, shall we say. Traumatic, nonetheless.

My DH opened a bottle of wine with our roast dinner today and I had a small glass and felt so terribly guilty afterwards like I really shouldn't be having this.

Hi @Margo34, I’m sorry you’re here and that does sound traumatic, how far along were you? Would counselling be worth a try?

Hi @Margo34 - so sorry to hear you have had such a horrific experience. I can sympathise re the wine: you know that you can, but it's just so sad to suddenly be able to again :o(

I'm off for a scan to see whether my uterus is clear on Wednesday. I thought it was over on Friday, but then have had some on / off bleeding over the weekend, so alas it is not. My Pilates teacher asked today how far along I was now and I just about managed not to sob on her shoulder. People being kind is the ultimate for setting me off!!

I have very mixed emotions about my next round of ivf. I'm not sure how I'm going to feel if there are no genetically normal embryos because I am now dreading trying naturally in case I do get pregnant but go through more MCs or find out something isn't right at a scan :o( maybe it is just too late for us....

Hope everyone's doing ok. At my scan today there were still traces of "stuff" so I have booked some more acupuncture and will be galvanising my husband into some action because that definitely "shifted some stuff" at the weekend and hopefully it will dislodge the last of it. So depressing. I sobbed at the consultant and I think she thought I was not going to be able to cope with another round of ivf.....also had a day of pregnancy announcements from others, which I have not been feeling as positive about as I have managed to previously!! Even when it's people you know have really struggled to conceive in the past so you want to be happy for them, it's a bit of a battle not to feel a bit sad and oh poor me. Sob.

Oh @99pctpractice I’m so frustrated for you! Did they talk about other options if you need a bit of help with getting it to bugger off, or are they just leaving you to it for a bit longer first?

@Sunbird24 they just told me to take a pregnancy test (which was negative) and come back for another scan in a couple of weeks or a bit sooner if I have a bleed before then. I'm not sure if they would then help with medical management or send me to epu. I think if nothing has happened by this time next week I'll just take myself off to epu anyway so that they can get it sorted out. so annoying! I really thought it had all shifted and I'd really like to be able to move on...

Yeah, EPU would do another scan to see what’s left and if it wasn’t all gone probably offer misoprostol or a surgical procedure. It’s definitely good that your test is negative already though.

Hi all I'm new to this thread and to miscarriage, had positive after first go at ICSI and went to early scan yesterday at 6w1d and told no fetal
Pole so it's all over. We've to go to EPU next week but I'm cramping today so can I assume that I may have a natural Mc over next week? Just want it all to be over now

@BabyGally22 I’m so sorry, it might happen on its own for you in the next few days. 💐 Look after yourself either way, and do check in here for a rant or a handhold any time

@BabyGally22 I'm so sorry to hear this. I think it can be quite variable, I had on and off cramping for about a week before the bleed started. I think you could go to epu earlier if you wanted (because sometimes they require their own scans, ask you to wait a week etc) or I called MSI choices because they can help with medical management as well (in the end the bleeding started in its own so I didn't use the medication) and are pretty speedy. Like you, I just wanted it out of my body as soon as possible once I knew i wasn't viable. Hope you're getting in lots of hugs.

Hi all,
I found out two days ago at my dating scan when I should have been 8+5 that I had a missed miscarriage about 2 weeks ago. Still feel pregnant and sick. No symptoms of miscarriage whatsoever. I already feel overwhelming pressure to just get over it (mostly from myself I suppose). I don't really know what I want from posting here, I just find it so hard to talk to anyone in real life. My family have been pretty crap but I suppose they don't really understand. My husband doesn't seem upset in slightest, but nothing seems to phase him really.

@Cegbee I’m so sorry, I still don’t know if it’s worse to find out at a scan or just miscarry out of the blue. However you feel it’s ok, we all understand.

@Cegbee so sorry for your loss. Sometimes people just don’t know what to say or try to put a positive slant on things because they think that is helpful. Obviously it’s not helpful to hear these things but unless you have been through it it’s hard to understand how truly devastating it is. People are also quite ignorant about miscarriage because it’s not talked about much & it tends to get dismissed as not a big deal because it happens so much, which is totally totally wrong. I think people mostly don’t think about the reality of it, I don’t think I realised quite how quickly they become a little person and how much you love them from the very start until I was pregnant.

How long should it take for HCG levels to drop back down after a MC? I still tested positive on a pregnancy test yesterday, 2 wks after MC. Bleeding stopped a few days ago but my last MC I was testing negative again within a week.

Just want to have a clean slate to start TTC again. Is it a good idea to wait for a full cycle after MC though? My medical support has been nil so I've got noone else to ask really.

Thanks and sorry for your losses