Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 5. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4190003-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-4-ALL-welcome

Hi, I’m 23 had two misscariages last year, thought we would try again and got caught, my hcg Theo time was thriving, they was so happy, until I had my last bloods taken, they’ve not risen and I’ve started spotting, currently lord in bed waiting for misscariage to occur. I feel so drained and sad.

@oliviaashkno I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Is this the 3rd time? Are you going to be referred for investigations? When things like this happen it is very painful indeed and for me it felt isolating but in time we hope to heal. I had a mmc 2 years ago and it was a very difficult experience as I did not know when it was going to happen. The nurse who spoke to me said that usually when she speaks to women about mmc they started bleeding soon after and the same also happened to me. It's as if there is closure and the body starts responding soon after. I hope you are resting well and keeping yourself safe and healthy. I send you all my good thoughts and love. x

@Oliviaashkno I’m so sorry this is happening to you again, definitely push for a referral to a recurrent miscarriage clinic and all the testing available.

@Yellowdott I shared quite in depth my experience of medical management further up the thread - around the 7th Feb. Surgery was my least preferred option too but after waiting a couple of weeks for it to happen naturally I had to make a decision. Feel free to pm me if you have any questions. Like you, I read about loads more opting for surgical management and what I did read about medical management was terrifying! I might be able to help a little.

Hi all just bit of advice please. Wednesday was when I had the proper bleed which I think was when I mc last night I was feverish and felt so cold. Been monitoring my temperature it kept on changing from 37.7 to 38 to 38.3 Called 111 who can't tell where I am having infection from? so wa yes me to go to hospital but being Sunday and I don't drive I can't get to it, Dr prescribed penicillin which I will take tonight. Dr. said and per U/S I've had a complete miscarriage and not so worried about the bleed but why the body aches and fever tho? a few hours ago my temperature went down to 37.5. Any advice please?

@Buntywindermere thank you very much for sharing your experience and I'm really sorry for your loss.

I want whatever will end this as soon as possible and unless they have a very immediate appointment for a surgical option, I'm set on medical management since in 80% of cases it does work within 24 hrs. I know there could be bleeding for weeks but I won't feel pregnant anymore. I'm not too scared of terrible pain...think I'd be glad it's working. Just absolutely want this pregnancy out of me and the mental stress still being pregnant with a lot of nausea is horrendous. Need this over so I can start to move on.

Sorry you had such an awful experience - it sounded horrific

@mrsmb03 that sounds worrying, did the dr say how long the penicillin should take to kick in?

My first dose of misoprostol on Friday didn’t work so I’ve done the second dose about half an hour ago, which means I’m expecting the cramps and shivering again at about 9.30. Hot water bottle will be ready to go… I’m honestly not expecting this one to work either if I’m honest. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ugh, we need an edit function. Honestly.

@sunbird24 oh so sorry I hope you are being comfortable! I agree we do need an edit button. I'm always making a typo.

To add insult to injury the Pharmacy that the 111 doctor sent my prescription decided not to open today. I hope and pray it will be an uneventful night so I'll ring surgery instead tomorrow, for all I know it might just be a viral infection and just caught something it has been cold and raining where I am for few days and also my gums where wisdom tooth is supposed to be is swollen suddenly so it could be that, could also be that I have uti. Could be anything really maybe it's a blessing in disguise to speak to GP tomorrow to they could properly assess me before I take antibiotics. 111 Dr said antibiotics work in 3 days I think?...

@Sunbird24 Did they ever find out or will they try to find out why you mc your little boy?

@mrsmb03 there’s one last blood test they want to do on Thursday if I’ve shifted this retained bit, to check my antiphospholipids (causes sticky blood) but I don’t know if we’ll ever really know. They’ve mentioned steroids and other things so I’ll see if we can get a bit of an action plan for the next attempt. Complicates things that I’m moving across the country and might need to transfer clinics though…

Ladies, how long did it take you to heal physically and then emotionally and mentally? And if you are working how long have you been off sick before you went back to work. I'm feeling frustrated and impatient with myself. It will be 2 weeks tomorrow and I don't think I have recovered yet. Physically it is better but not mentally and I am anxious about going back to work next week.

@mrsmb03 obviously I’m yet to go through it but what I would say is if you don’t feel ready then don’t go back. Speak to your GP and get them to extend your sick note. Work will always be there, it’s just a job. You and your well-being is most important. I’ve not even gone through the miscarriage but yet and I already feel exhausted. Literally good for nothing today. Take care and I hope your feeling more like yourself soon x

Mine have varied, with the last one I WFH for the week between finding out at the scan and having the surgery (which meant I didn’t really do any work but kept an eye on my emails occasionally) but the one before I’d had a massive haemorrhage so had 4 weeks off. I’m conscious I could personally easily spend weeks wallowing in self-pity which is not healthy or sensible for me, so go back to work to keep busy and help myself stay engaged with the rest of my life.

Honestly don’t worry about what other people have done, this is your experience and you need to do what’s best for you. There probably is a line where you kind of tip over from useful recovery time into it starting to get harder to go back to work the longer you leave it, but that’ll be in a different place for everyone. Could a phased return be an option? If not, I think the first day is the hardest but once you’re back in you mostly fall back into the usual rhythm.

Meant to say, had the most recent surgery on the Friday and was back in work on the Monday. Worked for me but probably not recommended!

@Yellowdott I had an MVA in Nov last year. It was painful but it was over in about 20 mins and my sickness was gone within a few hours. It was not a pleasant experience and felt quite traumatising at the time but I would opt for it again should I find myself in the same situation, just because of how quick it was. Hope that helps a little xxx

@1stTimeTina thank you for sharing! I had medical management yesterday in the end, and passed the pregnancy within 2 hours. Bleeding is light now. It's so far been less painful than a usual period, though I won't know if all has passed until I test in 3 weeks.

Didn't expect to feel so empty and depressed though.

Hello

Sorry that we all find ourselves here but also relieved to find some friendly bods who understand what this feels like. I am in the middle of my second miscarriage. I found out last week that my pregnancy wasn't viable at 5 weeks because the hcg levels weren't rising enough (I had blood tests privately because of my paranoia about the pregnancy). I thought I'd have a bit of time before it started to pass (my last miscarriage was at 10 weeks but stopped developing at 5 weeks) but i am now sitting on my own in a hotel room in Madrid on a work trip trying to figure out what I'm going to do tomorrow if the main event hasn't happened by then...the prospect of flying home if it's still all happening is filling me with dread. Totally my own fault because my husband told me I should cancel the trip but I thought I had time...

Does anyone know if it's ok to have a bath while you're miscarrying? I think might make me feel better through the cramping but don't want to make things worse.

Generally just feeling really sad. Over a year of ttc, two pretty dismal rounds of ivf (no genetically normal embryos) and it felt like this might be our lucky break. I'm turning 41 in June and I'm not sure if i shouldn't just accept that my eggs are just a bit too old and be grateful for my little boy. It feels like the sadness is seeping into so much of my life and I really don't want my infertility to define me. The lows are just so shattering.

@99pctpractice I'm so sorry. I feel your sadness. I can't tell you about the bath but I wouldn't if I was alone in case I pass out sorry not trying to say you will at the same time I can see how it will help relax.

it's really hard mc I really don't see why it's not talked about it's such a hard thing to go through. Hope you will not be in much pain and be safe when it happens. Sending you good thoughts and love.

@Tryingmybest345 thank you for your kind words and advice I will see how I feel over the weekend might extend sick note. I spoke to HR today though they try to be helpful I feel like I just ended up feeling wind up. This mc really hit me hard mentally like I can't even find an excuse or reason to make me feel better. Hope time will help me heal. I hope you are taking it easy and when it happens you won't be in so much pain.

@Yellowdott I feel this, the feeling of emptiness and depression is real. I think people who have not gone through mc will ever understand.

Sending everyone here love

@99pctpractice I probably wouldn’t with the bath either, sorry Hope you can manage to get home again safely, don’t beat yourself up for taking the chance, you couldn’t have predicted when it would happen.

Thanks @mrsmb03 and @Sunbird24

Maybe I'll get lucky and this time it'll be one of the "like a heavy period" miscarriages that the epu told me it would be like last time....

About to get on my flight. Scared witless that I'm going to get contractions and pass the sac and a lot of clots mid-flight, but hopefully if I do I can camp out in the loo and even more hopefully because the miscarriage is a couple of earlier this time that doesn't happen. Fingers crossed for no dramas! Can't wait to be back in my own home!

Good luck @99pctpractice hope everything stays manageable for you!

My retained bit is well and truly stuck in there, so I’m having another ERPC on Tuesday. Self-isolating after my covid test on Saturday morning so will make sure I’m stocked up on nice treats and things to binge-watch. The consultant has said that she’ll prescribe me all the progesterone and steroids for the next attempt so that I don’t have to pay for them, which is fab as I’m probably around £14k down from the ivf already.

Thanks @Sunbird24

I survived! Lots of turbulence and cramping but no contractions - phew.

So sorry to hear you have to have another erpc, that really sucks. Good news about them prescribing the steroids and progesterone though!! IVF is such a financial drain - if you knew there was going to be a baby at the end of it it would be ok, but we're about the same amount down and i don't have much confidence that we really know anymore or are any closer to a baby than we were when we started.....

I have a similar plan for the weekend - will be doing a lot of staying in and eating carbs! My husband wants me to take tomorrow as a sick day but I really struggle to do that if I am capable of sitting in front of my computer at home, but I might finish early just to have a bit of time to sit with what's happened and process it.

Sending lots of hugs to everyone going through this