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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 5. ALL welcome!

986 replies

Sunbird24 · 20/10/2021 20:54

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4190003-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-4-ALL-welcome

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8
TTCmum90 · 23/02/2022 21:21

Hello...I am so sorry to all the ladies here for all you are going through. 😞 It's really tough to experience even one MC let alone multiples... hoping that things change for the better for everyone here.

New here but I also had MMC over 2 years since we started TTC.

I am currently feeling similar symptoms to the first PG:

nausea, light headed/ faintness, weird metallic taste, sore tummy, heavy & sore breasts & sore lower back, dull cramps. Always wanting to sleep. Peeing literally every 10 mins!

AF seems to be late, but I may also have miscalculated as forgot to note down date of last AF exactly.

But even with extra 1-2 days, it's late.

I took 2 CBD tests (1 on Saturday, 1 yesterday) - both negative. {They're unreliable imho though as in the last PG it didn't get a BFP until week 6.}

Really wish the time would go quicker to end the misery of waiting.

Only those on here would understand the feeling of dread, rather than excitement, at this prospect.

I just 'feel' pregnant. Idk if anyone else has this?

It will be first time PG since the last MC, last year.

Been to MC hospital specialist and informed to take progesterone & meds for 'sticky blood' if we get PG again...hence wanting a clear result asap...

Any advice / reassurance welcome.
Praying for you all & sending baby dust 🥰

Sunbird24 · 24/02/2022 07:22

@TTCmum90 mine are all IVF pregnancies recently, but with the latest I knew I was definitely pregnant 5 days after embryo transfer, before I did a test. Sounds weird, but the only physical thing I could put my finger on was that I could smell myself, and I smelled different! I think you know your own body best. Sure there is a pregnancy after miscarriage thread in the pregnancy board which will have other ladies in your position who will be able to wrap you up tight while you wait for the HPTs to catch up - will keep everything crossed for you 🤞

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Sarahk20000 · 24/02/2022 12:43

Hey everyone. I wanted to please see what your experiences have been to understand next steps. I am sorry for the loss of all the people on this thread. I got pregnant for the first time (after 8 rounds of IVF - egg collections, mock rounds and transfers) and at week 6 of the pregnancy last week started having light bleeding, which turned very heavy with cramping for a day or so accompanied by massive clots. Since then the bleeding got light again. It’s been 9 days. I had assumed I had miscarried fully but turns out this week at the 6-7 week viability scan at the IVF clinic that there is no fetal pole or heartbeat but the sac still remains. I assume this means mine is currently an incomplete miscarriage. They have taken me off all the ivf meds after a HCG test. I am speaking to my GP tomorrow and think will ask for a referral to an EPU. I wondered if the EPU will just advise me to sit it out for 2 more weeks to see if I complete the miscarriage naturally. Do any of you have any experience or should I be asking for medically helped one with tablets? I assume surgical is off the table for such an early miscarriage and would only apply if I don’t miscarry naturally fully or through the tablets. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am petrified of the next steps as the big bleed was so painful already and I haven’t even passed the sac 😞

Sunbird24 · 24/02/2022 12:51

Hey Sarah, so sorry you’re in this position Flowers The EPU will want to do their own scan to confirm, and then you’ll sit with a nurse to go through your options. It does seem to vary between trusts, so do have a good chat about everything with the nurse.

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Morgan83 · 24/02/2022 22:05

Hello, this is my first post but I have lurked on mumsnet since I learned I was pregnant, and unfortunately was diagnosed with MMC and recently had a natural miscarriage and MVA a couple of days ago.

My heart goes out to anyone experiencing this, it's not something you would wish on anyone. The posts on mumsnet have helped, even just to know others have gone through this awful experience and made it through.

I thought I would share my experience too. But TW as I mention blood and clots etc.

I was spotting from the start of the pregnancy so went to EPU but they kept telling me to come back again in 10 days, so by the time I was 11 weeks they confirmed the embryo stopped developing at 5-6 weeks. I knew something was wrong as I was spotting every day and some of my pregnancy symptoms disappeared. It was still devastating news for me and hubby, and this was our first try at starting a family.

I decided to opt to let it happen naturally, but after a week of nothing I hated having it hang over me and made an appointment later in the week at EPU for medical management. However 2 days before my appointment I got awful cramps and started heavy bleeding around 5pm and passing tissue which I later learned was very large clots.

I bled so heavy that I filled a maternity pad in minutes so we phoned the gynaecology ward and they told us to go straight to A&E. It was a 20 minute drive and I managed to fill another pad on the way that when I stood out of the car I had soaked my jeans. I was a bit of an emotional wreck at this point and so thankful for hubby being supportive. At A&E the receptionist wasn't very friendly, she could see the state of my jeans and that I was crying but made me wait to confirm every single details about my name address, tel, husband's phone number etc. I know it was her job but she could have shown some empathy.

The nurse who saw me was lovely, she checked my vitals and gave me wipes to clean myself and trousers, pants and a larger pad to wear. A lot of clots were passing out at this stage and it took a lot to clean myself - hubby was also amazing and helped me every step of the way and I was getting more upset at the mess I was in. My cramps were getting a lot worse too.

They sent to the gynaecology ward, but we were waiting a while to be seen by a doctor and I wasn't allowed any water or pain meds at this stage. I passed a massive clot larger than a golf ball, but afterwards felt a lot of relief from pain as the cramps eased up so had hoped that was the end of it.

The doctor examined me a couple of hours later, and removed some tissue using a swab and a speculum. It was a little uncomfortable but not painful. Another hour or so later another doctor arrived to do a scan to see if there was any remaining tissue. He confirmed there was so gave me the option to either let it pass naturally but he was concerned with how heavy I was bleeding, or to do medical management or the MVA. He said if I was to do natural I would have to be kept in overnight and I really didn't want that.

I was really tired, sore and just wanted it over with so I opted for MVA. I asked for pain relief and they gave me some co-codamol to take which helped with my cramps. And about another hour later they were ready to do the MVA.

They explained the risks of it but that it was really low risk, and explained during the procedure my body would start cramping a lot which would be uncomfortable but it would be over with quickly. They gave me gas & air as pain relief and put a numbing gel on my cervix.

I'm not going to lie, the MVA was incredibly painful for me. It was like period cramps x 20 in one go. I actually pleaded for them to stop at one point, and they kept reminding me to use the gas& air but it did nothing for my pain just made me really lightheaded. Thankfully it was over with after about a minute and poor hubby beside me said it was so hard to watch me go through it.

After the MVA, the bleeding became a lot lighter but I was still getting occasional cramping. I was allowed to go home after 20 minutes. By this time we'd been in the hospital for over 7 hours so we were exhausted and hungry.

I am very thankful to the NHS, most of the staff were very caring, empathetic and considerate of my wellbeing and hubby's.

It's a couple days after that happened and I get moments of sadness, and moments of remembering the horror I felt and how vulnerable I felt. Hubby has been upset too and thankfully we have each other to get through it.

My heart goes out to anyone on this thread, even if you're here just for information or reassurance, know that you are not alone and that you will get through this.

Sunbird24 · 24/02/2022 22:27

Hi @Morgan83, welcome to the gang and thank you for sharing your experience Flowers
It’s been pretty traumatic for you by the sounds of it, so I hope you’re taking some time to rest and recover, glad you've got DH as he sounds lovely bless him

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Morgan83 · 24/02/2022 22:41

Thank you @Sunbird24 I've taken a few days off work to rest, hubby is off too so we've just been relaxing at home, watching films and ordering food in for a treat.

lalala222 · 25/02/2022 15:32

Hi everyone. I’m so sorry to see what you’re all going through. I’ve never joined a forum and didn’t think I’d be talking in one about miscarriage. I’ve got the most amazing husband, friends and family around me who have offered so much support but I can’t bring myself to talk to them and I feel so alone.
We had a private scan on 30/01 that was inconclusive and it turned out I got my dates wrong so we had to wait 2 weeks to be rescanned and that was very difficult.
We had another private scan on 13/02 and we saw our baby with a strong heartbeat and I was 8weeks 3 days. It was such a relief. However, the sonographer saw something that they wanted to be double checked to do with me. I told them I had a c section 3.5 years ago when my daughter was born and I had a haemotoma on my scar but they wanted to refer me to be sure.
We had a scan booked for 19/02 at the hospital and when I was there the sonographer asked me questions and I knew something was wrong. She then told me there was no heartbeat. I was sick that morning and had all pregnancy symptoms still. I was then booked in for surgery on 22/02. I had a rescan that morning to confirm which was heartbreaking. I didn’t have surgery until 9pm that day, the wait was horrific. They’ve said the scar wouldn’t have caused the MC and the baby was placed where it should be.
I’m devastated. I feel so guilty for having surgery and ending things sooner. I feel empty. I worry that the baby doesn’t feel loved.
Everything I do or watch there is reference to babies or someone being pregnant. It’s like I’m being tortured.
I can’t bring myself to go out I’m so scared to see pregnant women. I know it’s early days and time is a healer but I’m just completely lost.
I’m so lucky to have a healthy daughter and feel horrible for writing this after reading what some are going through and I’m sorry.
My husband is fine, hes been a little upset but doesnt really get affected by things. He’s been a huge support but I feel bad for crying all the time to him.
I feel like I’m being an awful mum to my daughter I’m just crying all the time and she’s with family members whilst I recover but home in the evenings. She doesn’t know what has happened but did know I was having a baby and that she was going to be a big sister so I have guilt there too that she won’t be a big sister yet. She hasn’t asked about the baby recently so we won’t mention anything until she asks.
I’m so scared to try again in case this happens again.
I’m sorry to go on, I just need to get out what’s in my head. I don’t expect anyone to reply I just needed a safe space to talk.

Sunbird24 · 25/02/2022 17:04

Oh @lalala222 you know logically that there’s nothing you should feel guilty for, but our brains do seem to need to search for answers where sometimes there just aren’t any, sadly. I’m so sorry this has happened to you, please do come and offload in here any time you need to. I know what you mean about bumps and babies being everywhere at the moment, it’s so unfair.

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lalala222 · 26/02/2022 09:36

Thank you. Reading this thread you have such a lovely way with words that’s really comforting. I really hope everything works out for you.
Just to rub salt to the wound one of my friends announced their expecting last night (I hadn’t told her that we were expecting or what’s happened this week so she isn’t aware although some of our mutual friends know). Feels like I’m being punished. Why did it have to be the same week?! The baby is likely to be due the same time. I can’t bring myself to congratulate at the moment and don’t want them to know because I don’t want to take away from their special time. Feel like an awful friend. Honestly don’t know how I’m going to do this!

floristowen · 26/02/2022 13:45

Looking for encouragement … have had two miscarriages in the last 10 months- one at 10 wks and one at 9, just there. I’m 43 yo with no health issues and have two healthy boys, 6 and 3. I also had a MC at 5 wks between the boys. I am awaiting genetic testing and have been referred to a specialist. Have a grief counselling appt next Wk. I want to try again after but am afraid it’s not going to work and my husband will be 50 this year and isn’t v enthusiastic about things. Have bought a bunch of herbal supplements and thought I would focus on getting healthy …

Sunbird24 · 26/02/2022 18:17

@floristowen I hope the counselling is helpful, is the testing for both you and DH? Fingers crossed you get some kind of answers from that, I know how hard the waiting can be. Definitely nothing to lose from general health improvements whatever the tests end up saying! Flowers

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floristowen · 26/02/2022 21:46

Just the fetal tissue getting tested .,. and blood tests for me … don’t know that want to wait for all results to be in before trying again as can be up to 3 months and unlikely will have get anything back that will change things …

Sunbird24 · 26/02/2022 22:12

Totally get that, I’m waiting for results from my latest too, took 9 weeks last time so think about another 3 still to go. If there was a genetic issue with the baby then what could either of us have done differently anyway, right? The most important thing now I guess is making sure you’re in a good place both physically and emotionally before you try again.

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floristowen · 27/02/2022 14:14

Yeah, have ordered Wild yam as read it has natural progesterone … I’m nursing my boys so thinking there’s a chance the OxyContin throwing off my pregnancies and inducing miscarriage? Apparently in England the NHS is prescribing it if history of recurrent miscarriages … also going to take a nettle tincture as meant to be good to get healthy again … few other things too. How about you? This is so so hard …

Yellowdott · 27/02/2022 14:55

I am so sorry for everyone's losses Flowers

I'm looking for some advice/guidance from those who may have experienced similar. I should be 8 weeks tomorrow and had a positive test a month ago. Sadly a scan yesterday could only find an empty sac measuring 5 weeks.

The sonographer refused to diagnose miscarriage even though that's the only possibility and told me to call EPU to arrange a scan in 2 weeks. Only then can they give me drugs/medical management to end the pregnancy.

The problem is, I'm meant to be on a 17 hour flight on 11th March, returning 2 weeks later when I should have been almost 12 weeks. This means I'd have no choice but to miscarry naturally?

I'm worried about how painful it would be, and also what if it happened on the 17 hr flight and I could not cope with the pain/bled too much? Can that happen or is it very unlikely?

I can't cancel the trip now without losing all my money.

I'm finding this so heartbreaking as it is, and my body is being incredibly cruel giving me intense nausea, as if mocking me.

I don't know what to do. Feel so lost and everyone is telling me to not be sad because it wasn't a baby yet and that it's better this way than carrying a baby with chromosomal abnormalities. Which yes, I know, but I still thought it was my baby.

Sorry for rambling.

Sunbird24 · 27/02/2022 17:08

@Yellowdott I’m so sorry, if you call the EPU and explain they may be able to get you in sooner - I had my viability scan for my latest with the private clinic on the Thurs, the EPU saw me next day, and I was in for surgery a week later. The rush was because I’d haemorrhaged with the previous 2 MCs but it shows it’s possible at least…
You may miscarry naturally anyway in the next 2 weeks, our bodies seem to play mean games like that with us, but that would be better than while you’re away, and the uncertainty makes it harder to manage doesn’t it? Flowers
Call the EPU first thing tomorrow, let us know how you get on, always here if you need a handhold. I’ll be calling mine too as I’m still getting a faint positive and it’s now been more than 6 weeks…

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floristowen · 27/02/2022 17:34

I would get into EPU asap. You absolutely do not want to miscarry on a plane/trip. It’s horrendous and you need to be at home. I have had three, all natural. Two happened after chiropractor or bowen therapy treatment but had been ‘gone’ for a good while before that. The 2nd one was horrible and required a hospital visit and morphine. The other two weren’t as bad but full physical recovery is at least a week to two regardless of stage. I’m very sorry for your loss and wish you strength during your miscarriage and recovery x

floristowen · 27/02/2022 17:43

Vitex agnus-castus- chasteberry

6 wks? Are you worried? I didn’t take before so not sure what to expect … think they told me should be negative by 3 wks? Wonder if chasteberry would help if it’s just a hormone regulation thing … quite good for fertility anyway. Hopefully you get a negative soon and get back on track x

Sunbird24 · 28/02/2022 14:57

I’ve called the GP, they’ve said to call the EPU, I’ve left a voicemail, hoping they call me back. Too many things going on with work etc to let myself worry about this too much!
@Yellowdott how did you get on with your call today?

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Yellowdott · 28/02/2022 15:08

Thank you so much for your responses and advice, @Sunbird24 and @floristowen.

EPU were great and arranged a scan for this Wednesday. I'm worried they'll say I still need to wait 2 weeks for another scan to confirm miscarriage. Is this the rule?

Or if the size of the sac hasn't changed since Saturday, they'll be able to confirm it straight away? Given my first positive test was a month ago I feel like it should be confirmed straight away?

Thanks again!!

Sunbird24 · 28/02/2022 15:25

If you should be 8 weeks and you’re measuring well behind, they shouldn’t make you wait two weeks to rescan, that’s only for if there’s possibly a few days in it and it might catch up. From what you’ve had so far, you should be ok I think

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Yellowdott · 28/02/2022 16:35

Thank you so much for the information! You guys have really calmed me down!

Regarding your previous comment, how did you get on about your positive after 6 weeks?

floristowen · 28/02/2022 18:48

If there’s no heartbeat, they should be able to declare miscarriage and give you options immediately.

Glad was a wee bit of help. Take good care x

floristowen · 28/02/2022 18:52

Sunbird, are you thinking about trying again- I really want to ASAP but sooo scared … started my wild yam today …