Support thread for those experiencing or recently experienced a MC/MMC - Thread 5. ALL welcome!

[Sunbird24]

Previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/4190003-Support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-MC-MMC-Thread-4-ALL-welcome

@syda I'm so, so sorry ❤️🧡 I've just gone through my first and it's just so awful, I cannot imagine having to do it again. Sending you so so much love xxxxx

[quote Rosielees]@syda I'm so sorry you've had to go through this again and how you've been treated. Unfortunately you are not alone in this and with how you've been treated. It's just all too common. I miscarried this week (just had blood test to confirm) but epu has been poor at recognising that I have had a MC at all. I'm convinced I haven't passed everything but epu won't scan me so I'm left having to try and get a referral to gynae through my GP or paying to get a private scan to check everything is ok. Emotionally it's so tough to deal with but you should also make sure that you're ok physically. Whilst you might not know what caused your MC you do know your own body and what feels normal for you. When you are ready you should get yourself checked out just to make sure everything is ok for another try if that's what you want to do. My SIL had several MCs and started to look at IVF when she found out she was pregnant but she's due to have her little Bert any day now. There's always hope. Look after yourself[/quote]
It's so incredibly frustrating how mc's are treated in the medical world... never mind the MH aspect of going through a loss with not much explanation, but even the physical side of things. How can they just fob you off I don't understand; epu is literally there for anything early pregnancy related and surely this is a huge part of their existence?
Anyways, my rant aside I hope you get the answers you need 💛

@Tor88 @Sunbird24 @Rosielees thank you ladies, what a weird and difficult thing to have in common

How is everyone doing today? Sending you all

Hi all, new to this thread and to the forum so sorry to be jumping in with a change of topic. I've been looking through a lot of posts to find some answers but most of the threads were super old so turning here for some help. Please help a girl in need!

I miscarried on 12th January. It was my first pregnancy and overall we just had a horrific start to 2022 with my husband's dad passing away 2 weeks before the miscarriage. I had what I thought was my period bang on 23 days later. Weirdly I was testing positive on the pregnancy tests on day 22 and day 23 the period arrives just like that. It was what I would call slightly heavier bleeding than normal for me but usual duration. It's been about a week since it ended and now I'm having brown spotting. I've been doing the ovulation tests and they don't really show a significant surge yet. The way I'm feeling is consistent either with a period or ovulation in the sense that my sex drive is through the roof and I'm having some light cramping (although my perception of pain down there is out of whack after the miscarriage pain so most things are light for me these days). I'm just wondering if anybody else experienced that kind of spotting at all and what was the cause/ how it ended. I'm keen for us to be trying again, I think I want to give this another go but being 36 the clock is ticking so if anyone experienced this before please share. Again apologies for jumping in, just not sure how to navigate this site yet.

Hi @mon1985 sorry to hear you’ve had a loss too
I can’t help regarding the spotting, but you have reminded me I’m now 32 days past my ERPC so need to start carrying pads everywhere with me! Maybe one of the other lovely ladies will have experienced spotting similar to you and be able to help

@mon1985 im so sorry for your loss ❤️ Sounds like a truly awful start to the year, crikey... I can't help with your particular query as I've only just had my MC (a week ago) so not back to periods etc yet, but in terms of navigating the site maybe you should post this as a general question/topic for a new thread that people outside of this thread can see??? Also I don't know if you're part of any FB groups but miscarriage association and Tommy's both have them, there are tonnes of users so I bet if you posted in there someone would have some thoughts xx

@Sunbird24 thanks for checking in on us all ❤️ I am now one week on from my MVA (it was last Tuesday) and finally starting to feel physically better. But my god it's been a rough week!! I was just exhausted. I slept all day every day (and every night) for like 5 days after, it was crazy. And I have felt so sick, more sick than I did when I was pregnant, which is so cruel!

But today I'm feeling a lot better. Mission for the day is to get dressed and go outside - a major step. I'm back to work on Monday which I feel very conflicted about. I know I can't lie on the sofa depressed for ever, but I don't want to have to sound all peppy in meetings...

I hope you're doing ok?xxxx

Hi everyone,

I'm so sorry you've all gone through this, it's really horrible. I have been bleeding for over a week and yesterday went for a scan and they said the gestational sac had collapsed so although they couldn't say for certain they were convinced I was having a mc.

Since the middle of the night I've been having gushes, where I'm not really bleeding and then I'm dripping and have to try not to get it on the floor as it will suddenly soak through a pad, underwear, trousers and anything I'm sat on at the time. Once this has passed after usually a few minutes it eases off again until the next one which might be a few minutes or hours later. Is this normal? I've been told I have been given open access to the local women's centre if the bleeding is unctrollable but I have no idea what that means. I feel unwell generally and a few light cramps but no sickness or real dizziness so I don't think it is unmanageable yet? I was only 6 weeks but I have no idea what is normal xx

Hey @Chl03 , I'm so sorry for your loss 🧡 I don't really know either but that sounds like a lot of blood so I'd suggest going in to get checked out. They told me if I was filling a pad in under and hour I should go to a&e. I expect it's all ok but always worth getting checked out. Xx

Hi @Chl03, so sorry
That sounds like what I had for a week after my ERPC, and it turned out I had some retained products of conception which fortunately came away on their own. I didn’t go in as it wasn’t as bad as my previous haemorrhages, but probably should have done. Please do pop in to get it checked out, they can either put your mind at ease or possibly do something to help you along, depending on what they think is happening. We’re too good at not making a fuss when sometimes we need to.

My third in a row here. Last one was end of November. Currently going through it.

Thank you so much for setting up this thread and big hugs to the ladies on this board .

Oh no @Februarybluee, how are you feeling?

@Sunbird24 thanks so much for replying 🧡. I am trucking on. I am sort of 'used to it' a bit so that may take the edge off or perhaps I'm still in shock!

I know exactly what you mean - there’s a weird kind of contrast of the ‘being used to it’ vs the ‘accumulation of grief’ after consecutive MCs isn’t there?

@Sunbird24

I know exactly what you mean - there’s a weird kind of contrast of the ‘being used to it’ vs the ‘accumulation of grief’ after consecutive MCs isn’t there?

@Sunbird24 you are so so right. I'm thankful for the 'used to it' in a small way because I know now that (fingers crossed) my body seems to deal with the process fairy well and it all happens naturally. So at least I'm not panicking about what's going to happen physically (too much!)

Ayyyy dear. What a bloody process.

How are you doing OP? I'm sorry, I haven't had the time to read through all your posts, but I saw your first few about having tests xxx

I'm about 3 weeks now from my early miscarriage and my friend just announced her pregnancy. Due the same time I would have been due. So happy for her but heartbreaking. She shared a photo of a scan and I thought 'that's what my scan should have looked like now' and I worry for the whole of her pregnancy I'll be thinking 'I should have been feeling a kick' 'I should have been giving birth to my baby' 'my baby should be crawling now' because it's so easy to compare. I want to be the best friend to her (and she doesn't know about the miscarriage) but it's going to be so hard. Does anyone have advice? I feel like an awful friend

@Februarybluee the twin they tested from MC3 had trisomy 6, so nothing that could have been done. I’m now waiting again for results of genetic testing on number 4, which I probably won’t get until towards the end of March… Not sure why I’m waiting as it won’t make any difference to the 2 embryos I have left! 🤷🏻‍♀️It does give my body (and heart) a chance to recover a bit though, and work is kind of busy right now!

Bother, hit post before replying to you @LittleMrsMama, sorry!

If she’s a good friend I’d be honest with her - she may have had a MC at some point too, and totally get it, or if she hasn’t it’ll help her to understand that while you’re happy for her it’s tempered with your own loss, so she can be sensitive towards that. If she doesn’t know and you don’t always act as excited as you would have otherwise, she might think it’s something she’s done or that you’re being a bit off with her for no reason. It is so hard though, you’re not at all awful but really rather lovely because while it really isn’t fair you know it’s nothing to do with her and want to put her feelings first.

[quote Sunbird24]@Februarybluee the twin they tested from MC3 had trisomy 6, so nothing that could have been done. I’m now waiting again for results of genetic testing on number 4, which I probably won’t get until towards the end of March… Not sure why I’m waiting as it won’t make any difference to the 2 embryos I have left! 🤷🏻‍♀️It does give my body (and heart) a chance to recover a bit though, and work is kind of busy right now![/quote]
Yes you need to take the time you need. I really hope it all works out for you OP. I know that's a cliche but it's true

Thanks @Sunbird24 I think I'll let her know once she's had this time to celebrate a little as don't want her holding back at all because of me. Fortunately with the storm our plans to meet have been cancelled and I feel it's much easier via text when I can have a moment to breathe and write an answer or ask how she is vs in person where I just have no idea if I'll get upset or be weird.

It sounds like you're going through a really tough time @Sunbird24 but you really inspire me with your positive outlook despite all the heartache. I really hope things work out for you with the two remaining embryos

You’re too kind @LittleMrsMama, I definitely have my moments! But I didn’t go through IVF until I was 42.5, so I had to come to terms with the fact it may not work before I even started really, and if I don’t get to be a mum I want to make sure I’ve added value to the world in other ways. I do always have a good wallow when I really need it because that’s really important, but I also think at some point you have to get out of bed and keep going, otherwise you might miss something wonderful…

This is my first post and I just want to put up a big thanks to all the supportive messages from members relating to pregnancy and miscarriage. I am currently going through my second miscarriage and have found it a lot more painful than the first. Also afraid that my dream of having a successful pregnancy won't come true. I find success stories from others have helped me get through some really tough days. So I just want to pass on my thanks as I've found the various threads comforting.

@Wannabemummie22 so sorry you’re going through it again. Have you some real life support?

@Sunbird24 Thanks. Yes my husband and I are lucky and have a good support network from our family and friends. The hospital have offered support too and are classing it as a recurrent miscarriage so they will do some blood tests in another month or so. I'm pleased they are doing that as I know they quite often don't start any tests until after 3 miscarriages.